Bipolar Check In Thread #28

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Very depressed this afternoon...I am so sick of this rollercoaster. See pdoc again on Tuesday. So beyond tired of being mixed. Today’s been very hard

. See T again on Thursday.

I am sorry today has been rough.

it's a colder rainy, dark day here today. Dreary.

Tomorrow is almost here! Hopefully, it beats today!

WC

Sunflower123 · Oct 02, 2018, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

It's good to have you posting!

How are you doing?
Thank you!

WC

Thank you! It feels awkward jumping back in to posting but I will persist until it feels normal again.

I’m doing okay. I got on the scale this morning and have gained 16 lbs since my surgery on the 18th. Eeeekkk!!! How is that even possible? A calmer head has now prevailed and I’m not letting it get me down. I’ll handle it.

Hope you start feeling better.

Naynay99 · Oct 02, 2018, 03:45 PM

Hey.
Just stopping in to say hi and check in.

Shiit is pretty crappy on this side of the fence right now.
For once I actually have a reason to be depressed and anxious bc dealing with health stuff.
Somehow I thought having my low mood match my situation wouldn’t feel quite as bad as when I get depression for no apparent reason. I was wrong. It just means that now I have 2 problems instead of one.

I can’t figure out how to keep the depression out, it’s like I am watching it take over and can’t do anything to prevent it. It always comes back and every single time I feel surprised to once again be stuck In it. And every single time when I’m in it, it feels like this is how I have always felt and always will. But I am just too exhausted to fight it this time. So I’m not going to. I’m gonna just survive for a while and try not to expect too much from myself besides working and feeding my cats and keeping myself alive. So much for high standards.

Anyhow sending everyone some good thoughts. Hopefully things will turn soon and Depression will leave me the fuuck alone for a while. Take care.

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Thank you! It feels awkward jumping back in to posting but I will persist until it feels normal again.

I’m doing okay. I got on the scale this morning and have gained 16 lbs since my surgery on the 18th. Eeeekkk!!! How is that even possible? A calmer head has now prevailed and I’m not letting it get me down. I’ll handle it.

Hope you start feeling better.

Oh, that could be a real downer!

Glad you've got this!

I am reasonably confident I will do okay. Thank you for your well wishes!

I love having you around!

WC

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naynay99

Hey.
Just stopping in to say hi and check in.

Shiit is pretty crappy on this side of the fence right now.
For once I actually have a reason to be depressed and anxious bc dealing with health stuff.
Somehow I thought having my low mood match my situation wouldn’t feel quite as bad as when I get depression for no apparent reason. I was wrong. It just means that now I have 2 problems instead of one.

I can’t figure out how to keep the depression out, it’s like I am watching it take over and can’t do anything to prevent it. It always comes back and every single time I feel surprised to once again be stuck In it. And every single time when I’m in it, it feels like this is how I have always felt and always will. But I am just too exhausted to fight it this time. So I’m not going to. I’m gonna just survive for a while and try not to expect too much from myself besides working and feeding my cats and keeping myself alive. So much for high standards.

Anyhow sending everyone some good thoughts. Hopefully things will turn soon and Depression will leave me the fuuck alone for a while. Take care.

Hi Naynay,

It's good to hear from you!

Sorry you are having a tough time with depression. I have to just give in at times, too. (As I rest on my bed writing this.)

I hope you catch a break soon!

WC

BeyondtheRainbow · Oct 02, 2018, 04:04 PM

My Charlie cat and I went back to the vet yet again today. I thought his mouth infection was healed but it was actually mostly healed and seeing the remainder needed someone to hold him still. She swabbed it and it still has bacteria but less. The swelling that was the greatest risk is gone and it appears his steroids and antibiotics are working. We have 3 weeks of antibiotics and I don't know how much more steroids (but a long time). The vet said she's never seen anything like this and is calling a dermatologist vet at the university vet place. His symptoms don't match the bacteria he has so it's weird.

Poor boy doesn't know whether he wants to trust me or be angry with me for yet another trip to the vet.

Then I walked my mom's dogs which was good exercise and good to be out in a really beautiful fall day.

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

My Charlie cat and I went back to the vet yet again today. I thought his mouth infection was healed but it was actually mostly healed and seeing the remainder needed someone to hold him still. She swabbed it and it still has bacteria but less. The swelling that was the greatest risk is gone and it appears his steroids and antibiotics are working. We have 3 weeks of antibiotics and I don't know how much more steroids (but a long time). The vet said she's never seen anything like this and is calling a dermatologist vet at the university vet place. His symptoms don't match the bacteria he has so it's weird.

Poor boy doesn't know whether he wants to trust me or be angry with me for yet another trip to the vet.

Then I walked my mom's dogs which was good exercise and good to be out in a really beautiful fall day.

I have been meaning to ask about Charlie.

So glad to hear how he's getting on. I hope the dermatologist can help out!
Poor kitty.

Walking dogs on a Fall day! Many Fall days are gorgeous! What fun!

WC

Blueberrybook · Oct 02, 2018, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. I hope you feel better soon. (((((Hugs)))))

Thanks...sigh. I hate when I get like this. I start thinking it would be a good thing to do stupid stuff, like not take my meds, ugh. Hope tomorrow is better. I really want to wait it out until my pdoc appointment in a week. I have not once made it without having to call him or go in early. Getting fed up with it.

Praying the T will be helpful when I see her this Thursday.

rwwff · Oct 02, 2018, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I really want to wait it out until my pdoc appointment in a week. I have not once made it without having to call him or go in early. Getting fed up with it.

There is a kind of victory feeling in making it to the appointment date without completely melting down, just take it one day at a time; as long as you're safe, you can make it and own that success.

Hope your therapy appointment helps you reach that goal.

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 05:51 PM

Rwwff,

it's nice to have you posting again!
hope to see more of you around here!

WC

~Christina · Oct 02, 2018, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Possible Trigger --

This is a very potent respiratory virus.

It has hit suddenly and like a huge truck.

The last time I've felt like this I was headed to the ER by ambulance, with the flu and pneumonia.

H has it, too. It hit us both on the very same day. Nobody can sleep for very long. Awake with painful coughing, trying to keep airways clear. I am trying to avoid the ER. yet, I will go if I need to go; I have a "go bag" ready.

Cancelled my day tomorrow.

Chicken soup anyone?

Love to All!

WC

Oh no !!!!!!! I hope you can avoid ER

Do whatever you can to feel better

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Oh no !!!!!!! I hope you can avoid ER

Do whatever you can to feel better

Just had chicken soup. It helps!

Thanks, ~Christina!

MsSchadenfreude · Oct 02, 2018, 06:40 PM

I had one of those days at work, where everything shifted 180 in my thoughts. Yesterday, I was great, and everything and everyone was great.

Today, I felt different. Certain people were against me, and I think I know the trigger was due to a some various little events that I won't go in to. This is not the first time I've been on this pendulum. The swing of being okay, to feeling the total opposite and mentally consumed with "people" in a negative way, is draining. All while I have to keep my "A-Game" on and perform top notch.

I work with a lot of people, and I work in healthcare, in a high stress area.

This will pass, and all will be fine, and they will all be awesome again and fun to be around... I wish my mind wouldn't create bad stories that lead me to paranoia. I really don't care that much what people think, but yet, I do! Frustrating dichotomy.

My pdoc knows about this cycle, and he's told me he could give me a low dose zyprexa or geodon. (I've been on abilify and it caused a muscle problem for me so I stopped that after a month) I'm only on Lamictal, and I really don't want to start something new. I don't want a pill to make this stop, I want to control these thoughts on my own. It is HARD!

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsSchadenfreude

I had one of those days at work, where everything shifted 180 in my thoughts. Yesterday, I was great, and everything and everyone was great.

Today, I felt different. Certain people were against me, and I think I know the trigger was due to a some various little events that I won't go in to. This is not the first time I've been on this pendulum. The swing of being okay, to feeling the total opposite and mentally consumed with "people" in a negative way, is draining. All while I have to keep my "A-Game" on and perform top notch.

I work with a lot of people, and I work in healthcare, in a high stress area.

This will pass, and all will be fine, and they will all be awesome again and fun to be around... I wish my mind wouldn't create bad stories that lead me to paranoia. I really don't care that much what people think, but yet, I do! Frustrating dichotomy.

My pdoc knows about this cycle, and he's told me he could give me a low dose zyprexa or geodon. (I've been on abilify and it caused a muscle problem for me so I stopped that after a month) I'm only on Lamictal, and I really don't want to start something new. I don't want a pill to make this stop, I want to control these thoughts on my own. It is HARD!

Quite a lot of insight into your current situation!
It's admirable for you to work on your thinking. It's maybe helpful to know meds are available if needed?
I run into muscle problems with Abilify higher than 2 mg. I hope to put an end to low-dose Abilify soon.
Nice to have you posting!

WC

wildflowerchild25 · Oct 02, 2018, 07:07 PM

I too have a terrible cold. ‘‘Tis the season, I guess.

I’m starting my job tomorrow but it is bittersweet. I went to take the drug test on Monday and it came back positive for PCP! It’s impossible, I’ve never done any drugs except marijuana like twelve years ago. Now it’s being sent to the lab to verify the results. The dr said that as long as I’m not on drugs, the lab should verify that it was a false positive but what if it doesn’t? Then I’m unemployed again. For no reason! So I am very nervous. I have to wait five days for the results. At least they said I could still start.

I’m praying and hoping the results come back negative. They HAVE to, I’m not on any drugs! The only thing I can think of is one of my psych meds created a false positive but I’ve never heard of anything I’m on creating a false positive for PCP. So I don’t think that’s the case. Oh my god I’m so anxious!

Otherwise I am excited to start tomorrow, as long as I feel better. I stayed in bed today and ate some soup. My mom watched my son for me so I could rest. It’s days like these that I’m grateful I live with her.

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I too have a terrible cold. ‘‘Tis the season, I guess.

I’m starting my job tomorrow but it is bittersweet. I went to take the drug test on Monday and it came back positive for PCP! It’s impossible, I’ve never done any drugs except marijuana like twelve years ago. Now it’s being sent to the lab to verify the results. The dr said that as long as I’m not on drugs, the lab should verify that it was a false positive but what if it doesn’t? Then I’m unemployed again. For no reason! So I am very nervous. I have to wait five days for the results. At least they said I could still start.

I’m praying and hoping the results come back negative. They HAVE to, I’m not on any drugs! The only thing I can think of is one of my psych meds created a false positive but I’ve never heard of anything I’m on creating a false positive for PCP. So I don’t think that’s the case. Oh my god I’m so anxious!

Otherwise I am excited to start tomorrow, as long as I feel better. I stayed in bed today and ate some soup. My mom watched my son for me so I could rest. It’s days like these that I’m grateful I live with her.

I am hoping right along with you!

It's entirely possible a psych drug is causing the confusion.
I've had a drug give a false cocaine test before. It was all sorted out in time. I hope your situation gets sorted out!

I am glad your mom was helpful so you could rest today!

Looking forward to your update tomorrow! I hope your first day goes well!
Feel better!

WC

MsSchadenfreude · Oct 02, 2018, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Quite a lot of insight into your current situation!
It's admirable for you to work on your thinking. It's maybe helpful to know meds are available if needed?
I run into muscle problems with Abilify higher than 2 mg. I hope to put an end to low-dose Abilify soon.
Nice to have you posting!

WC

Thanks!

That's a good way to think of it...those meds are available if needed. I hope you get to end the Abilify soon also.

It was weird, when I was on it, I felt so good the first 2 weeks, almost like I was so elated and on top of the world. I thought it was amplifying me and making a manic state. Then a week or so later, I noticed I felt weaker in a way. I got winded going up and down two flights of stairs at work. I sloughed it off to an outlying thing, then it happened the next day. I'm in shape, so that was a red flag for me. I told the doc and he took me off of it...and at that time, I was moving into a low mood, so he put me on lamictal. Whenever he asks if I'd like to try another antipsychotic, I tell him no thanks.

Also, I appreciate your reply. I have really even been a little paranoid about starting to spend time on a forum again. About 6 years ago, I used an online forum, to try to make friends and the experience messed with my head. Or possibly, my head messed up the experience? ha

Wild Coyote · Oct 02, 2018, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsSchadenfreude

Thanks!

That's a good way to think of it...those meds are available if needed. I hope you get to end the Abilify soon also.

It was weird, when I was on it, I felt so good the first 2 weeks, almost like I was so elated and on top of the world. I thought it was amplifying me and making a manic state. Then a week or so later, I noticed I felt weaker in a way. I got winded going up and down two flights of stairs at work. I sloughed it off to an outlying thing, then it happened the next day. I'm in shape, so that was a red flag for me. I told the doc and he took me off of it...and at that time, I was moving into a low mood, so he put me on lamictal. Whenever he asks if I'd like to try another antipsychotic, I tell him no thanks.

Also, I appreciate your reply. I have really even been a little paranoid about starting to spend time on a forum again. About 6 years ago, I used an online forum, to try to make friends and the experience messed with my head. Or possibly, my head messed up the experience? ha

Lol!

I've had the same experience with Abilify. It was stiffening my muscles and it took a ton of effort to climb the stairs I usually climb all day long! That's when we'd dropped it to 2mg. I am slowly increasing Lamictal now.

I hope your experience here does not mess with you.
I have found I can be friendly here with most.
Yet, it is the internet and I have had a few surprising experiences. Take it slowly. Look out for yourself, your own welfare... always!

I hope to see you around!

WC

MsSchadenfreude · Oct 02, 2018, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Lol!

I've had the same experience with Abilify. It was stiffening my muscles and it took a ton of effort to climb the stairs I usually climb all day long! That's when we'd dropped it to 2mg. I am slowly increasing Lamictal now.

I hope your experience here does not mess with you.
I have found I can be friendly here with most.
Yet, it is the internet and I have had a few surprising experiences. Take it slowly. Look out for yourself, your own welfare... always!

I hope to see you around!

WC

Hopefully the Lamictal helps you. So far, it has been a med with the least side effects of anything I've ever been on.

Wise advice. I will do that for sure, and luckily, I've learned so much from past experience!

See you around.

yellow_fleurs · Oct 02, 2018, 08:23 PM

Confronting some stuff in my life. It's tough, wish me luck. Hugs to everyone.

Moose72 · Oct 02, 2018, 10:05 PM

N2 had seizures andd high pitched screaming at her first whooping cough shot so shes never had another. She came home today to say one of her coworkers has it and came to work anyway!! Selfish people iin this world I tell ya....