[Blueberrybook]

I don't know what's happened to me this afternoon. It is true I started my period about 24 hr. ago, so I've got that and hormones to deal with, and all I can take for the bad cramps is Tylenol (stupid ulcer). Fibro is bad; gabapentin is not helping. If I take the tizandine, I will likely fall asleep.

I was OK one minute, and then I was not. I put away lunch dishes, brought the laundry to the bed to fold, got feeling depressed and anxious and like I might cry any second. I can't make this feeling stop. I hate when I get like this. I am likely to start crying and upset my daughter or husband, probably over something small and meaningless. It always takes me ages to shift to a better mood. Sometimes, it doesn't even happen until the next day.

Took anxiety meds and low dose Seroquel (as prescribed by pdoc), but no help. I still feel very anxious and depressed. I hate my life

Days like today, I wish that perforated ulcer had killed me.

How on earth do I make this feeling stop?

Oh, and I slept a lot this weekend, about 10 hr. Friday night, maybe 9 hr. last night. Still feel exhausted though.

[yellow_fleurs]

Well, as you know I struggle with hormones and that's pretty typical for me at that time of month. If you don't think it's situational and more of a hormone/mood thing, then maybe it's best to realize it will pass and be extra kind to yourself. I definitely have been known to eat chocolate while watching movies that make me laugh during these times haha. Sometimes just letting myself cry for awhile actually helps, too. You could just tell your husband and daughter you are feeling emotional but are okay and it will pass if they are concerned. This is what I explain to my SO so he doesn't think something is seriously wrong. Sorry you are feeling like this.

Edit: I missed the part about the perforated ulcer and wishing it would have killed you. Didn't realize you were feeling so low so I am realizing my comments maybe weren't the best for the situation. Hope it doesn't last long for you.

[giddykitty]

I don't know how much advice I have for you. I get that way too. as Yellow_fleurs said, I just let myself cry for awhile and explain to loved ones that it just helps me process these difficult feelings. Although mine stem more out of irritation and frustration rather than sadness ususally. I think I'd come to the forum like this in the latter case or talk to a friend or family member or even my therapist if I had the chance (I had one therapist who let me write to her). Hope you feel better.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I don't know what's happened to me this afternoon. It is true I started my period about 24 hr. ago, so I've got that and hormones to deal with, and all I can take for the bad cramps is Tylenol (stupid ulcer).

Have you ever looked into extended cycle birth control? Seasonique is the only thing that has ever managed to help my periods. I have PMDD and have been on this birth control since I was sixteen. It definitely helps my PMDD symptoms and on the plus side only four periods a year and the periods at least for me is light spotting. I know finding hormones that work is a bit like trying to find the perfect anti psychotic.

I know some days it feels like my anxiety makes me feel horrible. Anxiety is just a horrible thing to deal with. I'm sorry it's making you feel terrible.

Don't ever wish something would have killed you. You have a daughter who needs you and a husband who loves you.

I hope you get to feeling better.

[Blueberrybook]

Actually, birth control made my symptoms worse, and I was moodier on them. After my daughter was born I got the copper IUD (Paraguard), did OK with it several years, had it removed to try for #2 and it just never happened. Not sure if it was the Paraguard or just not meant to be. My maternal grandmother was an only child growing up sharecropping in the Depression era, and I know having just one kid was super rare back then (though she was able to have 5 children of her own). Maybe genetic, maybe not. My paternal grandmother had to have some procedure done so she could maybe have kids, and my aunt on that side tried and tried but couldn't have kids either.

Been without birth control 8 or 9 years now. Haven't really had a desire to go back on it or subject myself to those hormones again.

I do understand about the extended birth control. My mom had to do it for my youngest sister because she would miss a lot of school because she was throwing up during PMS and at the start of her period. Missing that much school was hard on her, and she went on the pill. I think it's different now that she has kids because I know her husband got a vasectomy, but also she is big into herbal teas, supplements, vitamins, stuff like that, so maybe that helps her, or maybe it was just time, having kids, who knows?

[~Christina]

What coping skills are you using to manage your life better ?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're struggling so badly I hope your family will be able to support you through this period

[MsSchadenfreude]

Music?

Music can be amazing at shifting moods. I know you probably have felt like I have sometimes when you've been so low that there is no desire to even look something up to listen to. The majority of the time for me though, music is medicine.

Also, look up binaural beats and the science of that. Amazing way to help people meditate and clear your mind.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

What coping skills are you using to manage your life better ?

Writing some. Don't really know otherwise. I do see the T tomorrow and will mention this to her. This happens to me now and again, and I don't think it always coincides with my cycle, though when it does, I am sure the hormones don't help.

I've been walking a lot. Ran today and yesterday though. Very anxious lately. See pdoc on Thursday. As long as I don't lose, he's fine with a slow gain. We'll see.

I need to be able to set boundaries with my daughter too. She treats me like a doormat in the morning and lately has been making fun of me when I forget words or talk in sentences that don't make sense. Sometimes the sentence issue is racing thoughts take me here, there, everywhere, but forgetting the words, even not having the sentence come out to say what I know I mean is frustrating. I know the word thing is the meds and so is the weird sentence order. But having her making fun of it hurts me because it's frightening and scary, and I already think I'm losing my mind half the time

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by MsSchadenfreude

Music?

Music can be amazing at shifting moods. I know you probably have felt like I have sometimes when you've been so low that there is no desire to even look something up to listen to. The majority of the time for me though, music is medicine.

Also, look up binaural beats and the science of that. Amazing way to help people meditate and clear your mind.

That's a good idea. I also have a ton of music on my computer and am sick of my latest playlists, so even just re-doing that. Actually, I think I even still have CDs to convert to computer MP3s; yep, I feel old now. Don't remember what I ever did with my old music cassette tapes, must have thrown those out during a move.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

That's a good idea. I also have a ton of music on my computer and am sick of my latest playlists, so even just re-doing that. Actually, I think I even still have CDs to convert to computer MP3s; yep, I feel old now. Don't remember what I ever did with my old music cassette tapes, must have thrown those out during a move.

Google breathing exercises practically anyone can learn and use them

Mindfulness

Distractions

Everyone needs a huge toolbox of coping skills and when needed use them , keep going coping skills until something sticks.

I think DBT workbooks would help you , easy to purchase online, just a thought

[stahrgeyzer]

I can't completely relate because I've always known what I needed to cry about but in my mid to late 40s I went through a period of several years of crying hours every single day. I know that feeling when you're on the verge of crying. It always gave me a strong pressure in the throat. The only thing that ever made that go away was to just let it out, to cry. It just builds and builds and builds until the pressure is too much. Crying was the most healing part of my life.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Google breathing exercises practically anyone can learn and use them

Mindfulness

Distractions

Everyone needs a huge toolbox of coping skills and when needed use them , keep going coping skills until something sticks.

I think DBT workbooks would help you , easy to purchase online, just a thought

Do you have a recommended DBT workbook, or is it OK to go by reviews?

I have problems with mindfulness even though I try it.

A little more successful with distractions. But they can't be too complicated.

Going to ask the T about coping skills today. Some days are just God-awful hard and bad especially if they get off to a rough start or I wake up and fibro is horrific.

[Blueberrybook]

Working on deep muscle relaxation techniques.

Obvious, but I didn’t think of it, she suggested holding, petting one of our cats. We have 3, but one won’t stand for that, the others will though one likes being outside a lot. The third is very mellow, easy to pet, almost never wants to be outside, won’t suddenly take a swipe at you with claws bared. She is a happy cat unless going to the vet or getting flea medication.

[MsSchadenfreude]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Do you have a recommended DBT workbook, or is it OK to go by reviews?

I have problems with mindfulness even though I try it.

A little more successful with distractions. But they can't be too complicated.

Going to ask the T about coping skills today. Some days are just God-awful hard and bad especially if they get off to a rough start or I wake up and fibro is horrific.

Good suggestion also, from Christina. It reminded me of the class I took a few years ago, which helped me a lot.

Learn DBT Skills & Stop Sabotaging | Online DBT Courses

There are references to borderline support, but really this can help so many people regardless of diagnosis. I'm not diagnosed with borderline, but there are some traits I definitely relate with, and have struggled with. Abandonment was one of them.

This is the book the therapist who leads this class told us to buy:
Amazon.com: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) (8601400879689): Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, Jeffrey Brantley: Books

[mogwai]

It's unfortunate that you can't cry for fear of upsetting your family. Everyone needs to cry sometimes to let off tension and express their feelings. It's actually really good for you. If you cry regularly, it's less likely you'll be constantly on the verge of crying. Think of it like a dam that you need to drain every now and then so it's not always at risk of overflowing without your control. If you're able to take time out alone to have a cry and honour those feelings, I think that will help.