Lowered my clozaril down to 50mg today. Shhh don't tell my doc or any of my family.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by spikes

Lowered my clozaril down to 50mg today. Shhh don't tell my doc or any of my family.

From 300? Just going off your signature. That seems like quite a drop if so. Were you having side effects? Please be careful!

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Here’s my update today ..I..

I hope you are okay Also thank you for the advice regarding the Holter Monitor it was very helpful.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by spikes

Lowered my clozaril down to 50mg today. Shhh don't tell my doc or any of my family.

Please don't take this the wrong way but why would you lower your medication without telling your pdoc, I feel as thought that isn't going to go well for you. I know you've expressed your annoyance with the Clozaril before but if it is really helping you then it's not worth risking to go down a dosage. Please be safe spikes.

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

From 300? Just going off your signature. That seems like quite a drop if so. Were you having side effects? Please be careful!

Last week I took 100mg. I'm tapering myself off because the phlebotomists are going to kill me one of these days. I'll update my sig eventually.

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Please don't take this the wrong way but why would you lower your medication without telling your pdoc, I feel as thought that isn't going to go well for you. I know you've expressed your annoyance with the Clozaril before but if it is really helping you then it's not worth risking to go down a dosage. Please be safe spikes.

It's really not helping me. It's making me a target and my pdoc is a useless idiot.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by spikes

Last week I took 100mg. I'm tapering myself off because the phlebotomists are going to kill me one of these days. I'll update my sig eventually.


It's really not helping me. It's making me a target and my pdoc is a useless idiot.

Could you try something else in the meantime, I don't blame you there have been a few medications that I hated so much I just wanted to flush them. Is their another pdoc you could see, or maybe get your primary's opinion?

[xRavenx]

Had my two doctors/dentist appointment today, so there was a lot of running around. I have a bad headache, and I'm quite irritable. Over the weekend, I've been doing some writing. I still feel disconnected from most things around me, and I'm very lost in my thoughts. I zone out a lot. I'm not really sure why. I do think seasonal depression is kicking in though. There seems to be a pressure to want to socialize and do special things around the holidays, but I have no plans, nor any real desire.

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Could you try something else in the meantime, I don't blame you there have been a few medications that I hated so much I just wanted to flush them. Is their another pdoc you could see, or maybe get your primary's opinion?

"You're stuck with clozaril" -my pdoc
I tried finding a new pdoc. It's not worth all the effort--going to my insurance's website and searching and printing a list of psychiatrists and then spend a month calling and being rejected and then get stuck with some idiotic asshole who's even worse. It took me two years to find this guy who at least knows how to prescribe clozaril.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by spikes

"You're stuck with clozaril" -my pdoc
I tried finding a new pdoc. It's not worth all the effort--going to my insurance's website and searching and printing a list of psychiatrists and then spend a month calling and being rejected and then get stuck with some idiotic asshole who's even worse. It took me two years to find this guy who at least knows how to prescribe clozaril.

Did he give you an explanation for why you were "stuck" with it? That doesn't sound like a helpful response from him. Can family, friends, or your insurance company help you weed through the list to find someone better? It is concerning that no one in your real life will know you are stopping meds from what it sounds like, in case it doesn't go well.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Sorry this happened will your daughter need to pitch in more since her income caused the increase ?

Bills suck

She has to. Im on a fixed income and every penny is spoken for.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Glad you sleep well ! Great news

I hope you have a great last T appt. maybe get some closure?

I hope it goes better than today. She just sits there waiting for me to tell her more about my very uneventful week. (Besides the hot sex that one day. Lol but i didnt mention that. My pdoc asks me if im having lots of sex sometimes to guage where i am in terms of hypomania.)

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I hope it goes better than today. She just sits there waiting for me to tell her more about my very uneventful week. (Besides the hot sex that one day. Lol but i didnt mention that. My pdoc asks me if im having lots of sex sometimes to guage where i am in terms of hypomania.)

Sex is often a good sign of where we all are on the Bipolar ride. Pretty accurate actually lol

[tecomsin]

I'm taking a 2.5 mg olanzapine tonight. Hopefully I sleep through the night. Haven't had to do this in ages. See pdoc on wednesday.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

So I had a really good therapy appointment today that in some way disturbed me out of sleep. I just took my PRN klonopin which I'm pretty sure I'm not really supposed to take at this point but nothing else has helped and it is 4:30 AM.

So weird, it wasn't that upsetting. I cried a bit but it was when my therapist was being nice. I guess I wasn't ready for nice? Something.

Now I just hope the klonopin kicks in fast and that I can get a different PRN from my pdoc.

ETA: Turns out I did not take any meds Monday night. Which explains the lack of sleep well. I took some low doses of a few things and hopefully will be ok. I'm really getting worried about med errors though. I'm averaging about 1 per week lately and I usually never make mistakes with meds, much less totally forget meds entirely. Honestly I was sure I had taken them which is even worse than forgetting and realizing it at 4 AM.

[tecomsin]

I was hoping olanzapine would do the trick but I awoke around 3:30 again. Today I was able to doze til around 5:30, which is where I was waking up the last days except yesterday when i also woke up just after 3. I'll try taking 5 mg tonight.

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

So I had a really good therapy appointment today that in some way disturbed me out of sleep. I just took my PRN klonopin which I'm pretty sure I'm not really supposed to take at this point but nothing else has helped and it is 4:30 AM.

So weird, it wasn't that upsetting. I cried a bit but it was when my therapist was being nice. I guess I wasn't ready for nice? Something.

Now I just hope the klonopin kicks in fast and that I can get a different PRN from my pdoc.

ETA: Turns out I did not take any meds Monday night. Which explains the lack of sleep well. I took some low doses of a few things and hopefully will be ok. I'm really getting worried about med errors though. I'm averaging about 1 per week lately and I usually never make mistakes with meds, much less totally forget meds entirely. Honestly I was sure I had taken them which is even worse than forgetting and realizing it at 4 AM.

What setting about a phone alarm that lets you know what time to take your meds? If you're sometimes out of your house at the time you're supposed to take your meds, have you tried a pill fob? And then, of course, you could always try a pillbox if you don't use one already. Would all of that help?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I was hoping olanzapine would do the trick but I awoke around 3:30 again. Today I was able to doze til around 5:30, which is where I was waking up the last days except yesterday when i also woke up just after 3. I'll try taking 5 mg tonight.

I hope this strategy works well for you, tecomsin.

WC

Today, I am very confused. I looked in the mirror this morning and didn't even recognize it was me. I looked different than I thought. It took me a while to realize it was me and not somebody else.

Then when I drove to work, everything looked different. I did not recognize everything. It was all new to me. Unseen. Then I put on Waze and I got to work fine.

So bizarre. It was only after I thought about things that I realized everything was normal.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Today, I am very confused. I looked in the mirror this morning and didn't even recognize it was me. I looked different than I thought. It took me a while to realize it was me and not somebody else.

Then when I drove to work, everything looked different. I did not recognize everything. It was all new to me. Unseen. Then I put on Waze and I got to work fine.

So bizarre. It was only after I thought about things that I realized everything was normal.

Sounds unsettling, to say the least.
I am glad you feel more grounded now.

WC

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I hope this strategy works well for you, tecomsin.

WC

Thanks WC. I'm seeing my pdoc on Wednesday. We have an agreee=ment to start taking Olanzapine if my sleep is disrupted for more than a day or two.

I might have to go up to 10 mg. If that doesn't work then I'm not sure what I'll do. I don't like to take any kind of pill when I wake up at 3 or 5. A lot of people wake up at 5 but I need more sleep to be stable.

I hope you're feeling better too with dropping a med.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Today, I am very confused. I looked in the mirror this morning and didn't even recognize it was me. I looked different than I thought. It took me a while to realize it was me and not somebody else.

Then when I drove to work, everything looked different. I did not recognize everything. It was all new to me. Unseen. Then I put on Waze and I got to work fine.

So bizarre. It was only after I thought about things that I realized everything was normal.

hi blue,
I had this same newness after a psychotic break/episode.
like everything is new.
yes I know that feeling.
How is the psychosis?
bizi

[pirilin]

I'm not sick. It's the others.

Cheers.

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry for not keeping up with this thread lately. I am having a time of it. A bit depressed, anxious, thoughts racing, don't even know how I feel.

Tried to take some avatar photos but realized I am looking very gaunt in the face. I ran way too far yesterday and did a lot of errands on my feet and did not re-hydrate properly.

Even though I didn't feel like it, I went to the small corner grocery store and got some Powerade, which I'm drinking now. I am realizing I am very, very thirsty.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by pirilin

I'm not sick. It's the others.

Cheers.

I am definitely sick. The only question is to what degree. Although the 2.5 mg olanzapine I took last night didn't get me to sleep through the night, my mind is less anxious today. A bit more sedate. Maybe less easy to stir up. I think a lot of us here are struggling just to get through each day.

Some people are doing much better than that though and kudos to them. I'm doing another load of my son's laundry and will get to cleaning up the kitchen again.

My weight fell almost into the upper limit of what I have been in the normal range. Five more pounds to go and I will be happy with that. It helps that I have almost no appetite and no cravings for food.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I am definitely sick. The only question is to what degree. Although the 2.5 mg olanzapine I took last night didn't get me to sleep through the night, my mind is less anxious today. A bit more sedate. Maybe less easy to stir up. I think a lot of us here are struggling just to get through each day.

Some people are doing much better than that though and kudos to them. I'm doing another load of my son's laundry and will get to cleaning up the kitchen again.

My weight fell almost into the upper limit of what I have been in the normal range. Five more pounds to go and I will be happy with that. It helps that I have almost no appetite and no cravings for food.

Yes, I also struggle to get through each day.
Congrats on the weight loss!

WC