[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Finished the sanding/painting/cleaning up for the appraiser's walkthrough tomorrow. I might run the steam cleaner over a couple of spots in the living room before she arrives. I just hope this goes okay so we can get the home equity line of credit and put this whole debacle behind us.

Also have the holiday lights outside. Just need to do the tree, probably Tuesday.

Christmas gifts have been ordered. Need one more for my husband.

I see my doc tomorrow. My right knee has been acting up again, and my abs hurt if I stand too long. Then they hurt if I sit down. Rather frustrating, but don't know what to do other than more muscle relaxers and physical therapy.

Calling it an early night. Hope everyone feels a small bit of peace.

Sounds like you have been working hard!
I hope tomorrow's appraisal goes very well!

WC

[TheSeaCat]

Hi guys, I’m in a very grumpy mood. I told my dad that I would be moving out that went super well. He’s mad that now he won’t have my rent flowing in, he also told me he doesn’t approve of the path I’m walking. I have honestly given up so much for my parents that l’m sick of it. My dad told me that he wishes he could still control my health and that he doesn’t approve of my male doc or Cardiologist, he doesn’t believe something is wrong with my heart. He also told me that if it was up to him I would be going back to that stupid NP and the stupid PsychNP who put me on an outrageous medication that caused me pain and wouldn’t even listen to me. He thought Latuda was the best Med I’ve ever been on. Haha!

He basically told me I’m making stupid decisions that I have to be in some sort of cycle. I broke up a long relationship, I’m being rude to him in his mind in not letting him tag along to any doctor’s appointment, sorry don’t feel like having them railroaded. You act like you know you everything and in reality you don’t know jack shyt. You’ve picked two of my medical providers and I’ve hated them both. I like my current team of providers, I also like him staying far far away from my health and my job.

I’m a strong women and I don’t need anybody making my decisions besides me.

End of my rant.

Hugs to everyone

[Wild Coyote]

Am down today. Probably a byproduct of bronchitis and adjusting to med side-effects/med changes, etc.

New laws in this state have taken effect for pain med patients. Now must submit to random urine drug tests and random pill counts. I have been on pain meds for at least 15 years and have only decreased the dose. I feel like a criminal of some sort with these new laws in effect. I have been very responsible in every way. Had a random drug test a few days ago; I don't sweat the test because I know how the test will come out. Yet, what a PITA!

I hope everyone has a restful night!


WC

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hi guys, I’m in a very grumpy mood. I told my dad that I would be moving out that went super well. He’s mad that now he won’t have my rent flowing in, he also told me he doesn’t approve of the path I’m walking. I have honestly given up so much for my parents that l’m sick of it. My dad told me that he wishes he could still control my health and that he doesn’t approve of my male doc or Cardiologist, he doesn’t believe something is wrong with my heart. He also told me that if it was up to him I would be going back to that stupid NP and the stupid PsychNP who put me on an outrageous medication that caused me pain and wouldn’t even listen to me. He thought Latuda was the best Med I’ve ever been on. Haha!

He basically told me I’m making stupid decisions that I have to be in some sort of cycle. I broke up a long relationship, I’m being rude to him in his mind in not letting him tag along to any doctor’s appointment, sorry don’t feel like having them railroaded. You act like you know you everything and in reality you don’t know jack shyt. You’ve picked two of my medical providers and I’ve hated them both. I like my current team of providers, I also like him staying far far away from my health and my job.

I’m a strong women and I don’t need anybody making my decisions besides me.

End of my rant.

Hugs to everyone

I am sorry things didn't go well with your dad. I think in this case you are making a very healthy, wise choice to move out! You are a strong woman as you said! I moved back home for a year after college and found the dynamic stressful. Moving out really helped me grow. Hope things go well for you I think it'll be great!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hi guys, I’m in a very grumpy mood. I told my dad that I would be moving out that went super well. He’s mad that now he won’t have my rent flowing in, he also told me he doesn’t approve of the path I’m walking. I have honestly given up so much for my parents that l’m sick of it. My dad told me that he wishes he could still control my health and that he doesn’t approve of my male doc or Cardiologist, he doesn’t believe something is wrong with my heart. He also told me that if it was up to him I would be going back to that stupid NP and the stupid PsychNP who put me on an outrageous medication that caused me pain and wouldn’t even listen to me. He thought Latuda was the best Med I’ve ever been on. Haha!

He basically told me I’m making stupid decisions that I have to be in some sort of cycle. I broke up a long relationship, I’m being rude to him in his mind in not letting him tag along to any doctor’s appointment, sorry don’t feel like having them railroaded. You act like you know you everything and in reality you don’t know jack shyt. You’ve picked two of my medical providers and I’ve hated them both. I like my current team of providers, I also like him staying far far away from my health and my job.

I’m a strong women and I don’t need anybody making my decisions besides me.

End of my rant.

Hugs to everyone

FWIW, I totally think you are doing what's best and healthiest for you.

It sounds like your dad would like to be controlling? Stay firm with your own ideas/convictions. I am sure he cares; yet, I am also sure you are looking out for your own best interests.

You are strong and intelligent! I truly hope all works out very well for you!


WC

[liveforsummer]

Stressful 48 hours. Family member in the hospital bit improving now. A bit of a fright for all of us. Thankful he’s doing better

I think my Zoloft might be helping. Haven’t had the dark cloud around me in a couple weeks.

Hugs all

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Stressful 48 hours. Family member in the hospital bit improving now. A bit of a fright for all of us. Thankful he’s doing better

I think my Zoloft might be helping. Haven’t had the dark cloud around me in a couple weeks.

Hugs all

Sorry about the family member in the hospital. I hope improvement continues.
Great news about Zoloft! I hope this continues to help you!

WC

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Am down today. Probably a byproduct of bronchitis and adjusting to med side-effects/med changes, etc.


New laws in this state have taken effect for pain med patients. Now must submit to random urine drug tests and random pill counts. I have been on pain meds for at least 15 years and have only decreased the dose. I feel like a criminal of some sort with these new laws in effect. I have been very responsible in every way. Had a random drug test a few days ago; I don't sweat the test because I know how the test will come out. Yet, what a PITA!


I hope everyone has a restful night!




WC

I’m so sick of the whole pain Med crisis. Will cause people who truly need them to be out of reach. So much suffering

I use to get Lidocaine infusions weekly , it really helped my fibromyalgia... the pain clinic that offered it closed it down. My pain went back to a solid 7-8 every moment. I cried a lot ... for weeks over it , still makes me sad.

Do they do any Lidocaine in your area ?

I hope your bronchitis starts to go the hell away !!! You deserve a break , now !

[wildflowerchild25]

My day sort of improved as time went on. Took a short nap and I felt better afterward. I made homemade tzatziki sauce to go with my frozen Trader Joe’s falafel and it was pretty good if I do say so myself. I didn’t do too much today other than laundry but my mom cleaned for once so that was nice.

Talking to RS now is making my heart sing so I definitely feel better now. I’m still irritable af though. Glad it’s bed time so I don’t have to listen to my son yammer on.thats terrible of me, I know, but he talks so damn much! I love him but damn just give me some peace and quiet sometimes lol.

Took my trazodone so hoping for a good night’s sleep and a better day tomorrow.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m so sick of the whole pain Med crisis. Will cause people who truly need them to be out of reach. So much suffering

I use to get Lidocaine infusions weekly , it really helped my fibromyalgia... the pain clinic that offered it closed it down. My pain went back to a solid 7-8 every moment. I cried a lot ... for weeks over it , still makes me sad.

Do they do any Lidocaine in your area ?

I hope your bronchitis starts to go the hell away !!! You deserve a break , now !

No lidocaine infusions around here. Thanks for mentioning!

The University Health conglomerate has all but closed down their pain treatment center. They have discouraged the docs and some there doing research. Last I knew, all had resigned. They were trying to hire, but why would someone with a real interest in pain management (and research) stay where their hands are tied by new state laws and new university policies?

They currently have 2 docs with backgrounds in a specialty other than pain management.(?) absurd!

Rant over. Lol.


WC

[Nammu]

I am so so glad surgery fixed my back pain cause Minnesota is very restrictive with pain meds plus now I'm in a small town that's very conservative. I will never forget my pain management doc she was a saint even if she couldn't fix anything she was never Judgy or condescending. the whole war on drugs has never worked.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Am down today. Probably a byproduct of bronchitis and adjusting to med side-effects/med changes, etc.

New laws in this state have taken effect for pain med patients. Now must submit to random urine drug tests and random pill counts. I have been on pain meds for at least 15 years and have only decreased the dose. I feel like a criminal of some sort with these new laws in effect. I have been very responsible in every way. Had a random drug test a few days ago; I don't sweat the test because I know how the test will come out. Yet, what a PITA!

I hope everyone has a restful night!


WC

This war on drugs is such a pita, I agree it does make someone feel like a criminal when they have to submit to random drug screens; not to mention pill counts. It's the same at the two doctor's office I have worked at when it comes to pain medication, not to mention some pain doctors are just in the market of getting someone off the meds instead of helping. I'm sorry you are still dealing with the bronchitis. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Well, I just got off the phone with the insurance marketplace place. It is exactly as I suspected -- I am in no-man's land. I took the phone help filling out the application, because I really suck at doing that. (Plus it involves massive amounts of swearing, lol). When she ran my numbers, it came up medicaid. So she kept running progressively higher numbers, because it kept saying that. She finally hit a number that it didn't. I would need to make a LOT LOT LOT of money this month to actually hit that number. Not going to happen, not even close. (We're talking like 1/3 of my income in one month).

So now I've got to talk to medicaid and either appeal, or tell them to send me another rejection, then call the marketplace back.

What a p.i.t.a.. I have a feeling this is going to take a lot of time to resolve. They are working with completely different numbers and by a very large margin. Ridiculous.

I am pretty proud of myself for tackling it at all though. These things always get me highly wound up.

I am going to do something fun now. Must distract.

I'm sorry you are in no-mans land and are having insurance issues. Does your job offer insurance, even if you are part time you could still qualify it would just cost more. I hope you can appeal Medicaid and that you can still remain on it. I probably would have been cursing up an angry storm.

You are right distractions are great and I hope you had fun.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

One of those days ~

I am having such a rough time doing my shoulder exercises daily to hopefully defrost the bytch but it hurts ( of course it will) and I skip a day , the work on it then skip.. quite the pattern

I'm sorry that you are having a rough time with the shoulder. I hope it defrosts soon.

[~Christina]

Pain meds here in Tennessee ..... a GP can prescribe only 3 days worth at a time. And after a couple weeks if a person needs further meds they get turfed to a pain clinic.

The state has our doctors hands tied for sure !!! It’s total BS!

[beauflow]

I'm sorry everyone that has pain med issues, it is difficult to obtain ... what I find worse are doctors that down play the pain, that are just being asses. However, I do believe With Some pain managment doctors -
- they are really trying to avoid addiction in the long term.
I never minded the piss tests because I understood what it was for. If your using other drugs than what's been discussed ((all meds)) then it does put up a red flag that One may need more help than the pills.
But I could be off, could be entirely wrong on my belief. Or I could had skimmed over someone saying this already (apologize)

I wanted to check in
I had a really good day and now...
I am still up.. I tried to sleep.. can't.... i have to work tomorrow but if explain my issue rn ("can't sleep clown will eat me" bart moment) I may get a slide on remotely working ((but I hate doing that because I don't have a monitor of my own, reception, etc..)).
If I do dose off I wake up in jolts ..
When awake
Question keep popping up of what's the purpose and what is (how do you know) a meaningful relationship? A few others pop up but those are the main ones.

Purpose i can level with " it's what we make of it".. or even for some- religions, family, etc. Ehat have you.. that's great for those that have it... guess I don't feel I've made much of it besides being an isolated person that thinks too much (at first I wrote hermit that thinks too much.. hahaha.. ha).

Think I'll get a glass of water.... been meditating, wrote in my journal, drank some tea.
I will get to sleep, I will.... I feel so tired

[251turnaround]

I'm still hypomanic and it's escalating. I see the therapist today. I want this to end but I also don't. I kind of like the energy and motivation to be honest.

My kids are being loud and I have to do things but I can't focus and there are things I want to do but can't post here without a trigger warning. Pain and pleasure.

I don't even have kids.

[TheSeaCat]

Hi guys it felt so weird being able to sleep in on a workday, I have to go for my Echocardiogram and a 48 hour Holter Monitor which I cannot shower with which is going to be such an annoyance come tomorrow night. Anyway I just wanted to briefly check in before my shower this morning. I still got to go to work after the test but I had overtime last week so I have to cut hours this week, which worked out perfectly for this test and my
appointment with my primary next Monday, what is with Monday’s being perfect for doctor’s appointments.

Hugs to everyone and I’ll see you later tonight

[nikon]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hi guys it felt so weird being able to sleep in on a workday, I have to go for my Echocardiogram and a 48 hour Holter Monitor which I cannot shower with which is going to be such an annoyance come tomorrow night. Anyway I just wanted to briefly check in before my shower this morning. I still got to go to work after the test but I had overtime last week so I have to cut hours this week, which worked out perfectly for this test and my
appointment with my primary next Monday, what is with Monday’s being perfect for doctor’s appointments.

Hugs to everyone and I’ll see you later tonight

hope your ecg goes well

[nikon]

i had an up and down day. i haven't felt really down or anything, but work is stressful. i don't usually work full time but am working the whole week, and right now it feels like an eternity stretching out in front of me. i'm not looking forward to christmas itself, because we always have a family lunch and there are always underlying tensions. i don't like spending time with my family. just wish i could spend all holidays with friends instead.

Last night we met two couples at a nearby restaurant to continue my husband's big birthday celebration. My husband was actually the one to arrange it. Hubby is a real holiday/event enthusiast, and I guess he wanted something at least a little bit like a party. I guess for a husband's big birthday, many wives throw big parties, but I just can't.

One of the couples arrived exactly on time. The other couple was one and a half hours late. Ugh! The on-time couple was the one I felt most comfortable with. The male of that couple is my husband's long-time friend that I've known and liked for years. He brought his girlfriend, who turned out to be very pleasant and enjoyable to talk to. She works on documentaries. The other, late arriving couple, consisted of hubby's female boss and her boyfriend. I must confess that I felt nervous around them. The boyfriend even made a couple of obnoxious remarks directed at me for no good reason. I had never even met the guy before. I started to sweat a bit and felt on the verge of an anxiety attack, but I held it together with smiles and did my best to contribute to the conversations. The boss and her beau left first. I was glad.

My dad called on Saturday. Hubby picked up. I did not want to talk to him given what I've written previously, but I kind of had no choice. Luckily he didn't sound drunk. I decided to just talk about pleasantries and leave it at that. Dad clearly knows that his behavior has been severely stressful for me. On his vmx days back, he said he loved me twice. He told my husband on the Saturday call he loved me. Then he told me again that he loved me, twice. I told him that of course I love him. I didn't mention anything like a "but..." The call ended, and I was relieved.

In preparation for the above-mentioned guests for hubby's extended birthday celebration, I really put some major elbow grease into super cleaning the house. My house is usually always basically clean and tidy, but there are always things that are not super cleaned. At the end of Saturday, I told hubby I was so exhausted that I felt I would die. I survived. Then yesterday, I did even more cleaning and preparations. The guests left at about 10:30 pm. I still feel physically and mentally spent.

This Wednesday and Thursday, I have evening adult school classes. The Wednesday is a cake decorating class. The Thursday class is a flower arranging class. I think it will be my sixth or seventh flower arranging class. I love that class, and really like the instructor. I always enjoy chatting with the women who take it. Flower arranging has turned out to be a hidden talent I never knew about until a few years ago. It boosts my self-esteem. Then at the end of the class, you have a lovely arrangement to take home. It will be a Christmas arrangement. To date, the only Christmas-type decoration we have is a wreath for our front door.

I started my new book yesterday- first thoughts.. am I stuck with this **** for the next however long it will take me to read it?. I don't like what I read so far

sleep didn't happen again though I knew it wouldn't

mood was okay, but not really a productive day (not really anything I needed to do, but managed to fill the time). nothing special is what I'm saying

an average start to the week

[Moose72]

Slept fine on seroquel 100. Saw T. Talked about doing things even though I don't want to. Next Monday is my last T appointment. Was supposed to be short term. Today I felt like I didnt have much to say. Hope my last week is better.

[tecomsin]

I woke up at 3:30 am so will have to start Olanzapine tonight. I'm see my pdoc this week and will discuss it then. I principle I am supposed to call him whenever I start olanzapine prn but I don't want to alarm or trouble him. My son was very late getting out of the door today. I am doing laundry and enjoying the fact that my shoulder is feeling a wee bit better today.