[Wild Coyote]

One of those days. UGH!
Woke up VERY depressed.
Many things became urgent today, needing immediate attention.
Long day. Lots of pain.

Love to All!

WC

[Blue_Bird]

Final exam is tomorrow. Things are going well. Don't see sleep happening tonight. I don't know why but I'm extremely anxious about the test even though I know all the material very well and have done great the whole semester. Just anticipatory anxiety I guess. I'm going to be a wreck by time I get home tomorrow if I don't sleep. I'll probably pass out and sleep for 16 hours. Slept 3 hours last night, then an hour and a half in the mid morning.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Final exam is tomorrow. Things are going well. Don't see sleep happening tonight. I don't know why but I'm extremely anxious about the test even though I know all the material very well and have done great the whole semester. Just anticipatory anxiety I guess. I'm going to be a wreck by time I get home tomorrow if I don't sleep. I'll probably pass out and sleep for 16 hours. Slept 3 hours last night, then an hour and a half in the mid morning.

Good luck with your final exam!

WC

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Good luck with your final exam!

WC

Thank you WC!

[TheSeaCat]

Small update this time I promise! Heard back from a few professor's they are allowing me to take finals on a different day; so I guess that is better than nothing. I could only imagine trying to focus on a final with bells, nurses, and doctors popping in at random times. I need to be at home with headphones so that I can focus. So hopefully I'll be released on Tuesday and can take Wednesday off to do finals and go back to work Thursday and Friday.

Auntie and R ended up giving me a sponge bath since two doctor's have banned me from leaving my bed. So I'm sort of clean, granted seriously annoyed since I feel like an invalid.

Electrophysiology Study in the morning around 9am; assuming my blood pressure doesn't tank before then. Cardiologist wishes my heart rate would lower before then since they don't like the rate it is at, but unfortunately for him I don't think it's going to drop much.

I've learned more about R and M, R used to be a tech before PA school and M was a paramedic, that explains why he was so damn good at getting that first IV started. I want to go home and study. It's so hard to focus on anything here and I really want to be on some sort of list and have my GPA not plummet.

M left for like an hour to go home and take a shower and bring me tacos for dinner; R also went and got some Ben and Jerry's so I'm set before my midnight food cutoff. M is also taking tomorrow off as is R; they are like Christmas Vacation is starting early. Aunt has also taken off work and my Uncle isn't being dispatched until Tuesday. I've told them all it's not surgery; but they refuse to listen and want to wait around for the three hours it is going to take.

I'm doing okay for the most part; I'm cold and irritated but it could be a lot worse.

Thank you all for the well wishes again and of course all the hugs

[liveforsummer]

Sending hugs

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Final exam is tomorrow. Things are going well. Don't see sleep happening tonight. I don't know why but I'm extremely anxious about the test even though I know all the material very well and have done great the whole semester. Just anticipatory anxiety I guess. I'm going to be a wreck by time I get home tomorrow if I don't sleep. I'll probably pass out and sleep for 16 hours. Slept 3 hours last night, then an hour and a half in the mid morning.

Good luck with the final exam, I too am stressing over them, I think that is everyone though. I am really worried about my Epidemiology class, but I think I can handle all of them. I hope you sleep well tonight, by the way I wish I was Hogwarts too. I also didn't realize we were the same age; granted you are older by a couple of months.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm feeling very strange. I tried to go to sleep but got bad nausea all the sudden, and was shaking really bad. Then I took a shower to see if it would help but I had to get out quick because I felt like I was going to pass out.

I'm wondering what it could be, a really bad panic attack, lack of sleep over the past week and stress , or maybe the food I ate tonight or some combination of those ?

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Good luck with the final exam, I too am stressing over them, I think that is everyone though. I am really worried about my Epidemiology class, but I think I can handle all of them. I hope you sleep well tonight, by the way I wish I was Hogwarts too. I also didn't realize we were the same age; granted you are older by a couple of months.

Thank you! I hope you do well too when you're able to take them

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm feeling very strange. I tried to go to sleep but got bad nausea all the sudden, and was shaking really bad. Then I took a shower to see if it would help but I had to get out quick because I felt like I was going to pass out.

I'm wondering what it could be, a really bad panic attack, lack of sleep over the past week and stress , or maybe the food I ate tonight or some combination of those ?

The last time I had a bad panic attack was due to lack of sleep and everything felt like it was going wrong. It is probably a combination of it all; especially if you are prone to anxiety. I'm sorry that has happened.

[Blue_Bird]

Thanks TheSeaCat

I ended up getting sick in the middle of the night, then just laid there in some weird feverish daze for several hours. I am starting to feel a little bit better. but weak. I might have slept a total of an hour, it's almost 4am, so I'm just going to stay up because I have to be up soon anyway.

I've been feeling pretty good lately, but this morning (it's 6:25 am) I am feeling especially good. I'll admit that I had a very pleasant dream right before waking up, albeit strange. That helps. But also, I feel at peace, I enjoyed yesterday a lot, and feel that today will somehow be wonderful. Should I be concerned about that since I only needed 5.5 hours sleep last night, unlike the 10 I've needed lately? Naaaah! I'm going to savor this.

2 hours of sleep last night. I think tonight I'm going to take a small dose of Clozaril as a sleeping pill. I still haven't told anybody that I'm trying to get myself off of it.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I've been feeling pretty good lately, but this morning (it's 6:25 am) I am feeling especially good. I'll admit that I had a very pleasant dream right before waking up, albeit strange. That helps. But also, I feel at peace, I enjoyed yesterday a lot, and feel that today will somehow be wonderful. Should I be concerned about that since I only needed 5.5 hours sleep last night, unlike the 10 I've needed lately? Naaaah! I'm going to savor this.

I hope today is truly wonderful for you!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks TheSeaCat

I ended up getting sick in the middle of the night, then just laid there in some weird feverish daze for several hours. I am starting to feel a little bit better. but weak. I might have slept a total of an hour, it's almost 4am, so I'm just going to stay up because I have to be up soon anyway.

I am sorry you have been ill. I am concerned about you. So glad it's nothing more. I hope you have as good a day as you can have after being up and ill through the night.

WC

Feeling quite a bit better, but still kinda down. Anyway...

Yesterday, my mom and I went Christmas shopping @ around 9am. Got my sister a gift card since that's the ONE thing she can't/won't return. (She likes to return gifts so that she has $$$ to buy whatever she wants wherever she wants, or she sells them if she thinks she can make money on them. But sometimes if she returns a gift and the money goes back on the credit card used to purchase it, she demands us to pay her cash. "I returned it. Please give me the $$$." She's kinda a b_tch like that.) But I know she likes the store a lot, so I doubt she'll sell the gift card, as she wanted to go shopping there about a week ago but didn't have the cash. Plus, it's her favorite store. So there ya go.

Speaking of Christmas shopping... My sister wants to go to f_cking NYC to go shopping. It's a 3+ hr drive to get there!! No way in hell am I going there. She's got a boyfriend to go with imo. He's a physical trainer and needs more workout clothes, so she can go with him to get that stuff.

[TheSeaCat]

Hi guys I slept horribly again last night, I don’t think M is getting much sleep either. It feels like something is always happening in the ICU and they refuse to move me out of the ICU since no floor wants me with my pulse
above 100. Blood pressure has mostly returned to normal, it’s low by my usual standard but Cardiologist is happy with the number.

Met the doc who is going to be doing the study; Cardio is right he is an @ss. Tried to convince me to go the ablation way that it would take care of all my problems. It very well could but I don’t want something going wrong and being saddled with a pacemaker at my age. I know it’s just a device but with how my luck has gone here lately; it’s just not worth the risk. He was really irritated with my decision. Sorry dude no ablation for you; he also told me it would take longer if he didn’t ablate, I don’t care if it goes past his lunch. I want answers and this seems like the only way I’m going to get for answers.

I really am kind of terrified about the procedure I know it’s minor and not really surgical but I’m still scared. I have a feeling they are going to come get me in a few. R left for a little bit to go check on the cat and feed him his morning medication. She says he’s eating and using the box so I guess he’s okay, just missing me.

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and of course hugs to everyone

[liveforsummer]

All the depressive negative thoughts are racing back. Struggling to keep weight on, scares me. My H loves me so much and feels so helpless, he wants me to happy. He could see the shift in my mood through my eyes yday. I am grateful for him. I don’t think I would have made it to age 25 without him.
Hugs all

not well today.

I've lost my white halloween lights- which is causing me some pannic (I know it's not halloween, but I want them up for christmas)- I think it's more an OCD thing, having a diffrent colored light in my room just doesn't sit right with me

my mother emailed me more abusive threats today (going as far to say that if I was dead, she would have the best christmas ever)

and just feel genrally depressed and blah.

oh yeah and I'm in more pain than you can shake a stick at- on top of the physical psymptoms I tend to get when I'm depressed.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am sorry you have been ill. I am concerned about you. So glad it's nothing more. I hope you have as good a day as you can have after being up and ill through the night.



WC

Thank you

I ended up sleeping for 2 hours. I'm starting to feel better. Still a little shaky though

I'm at my college. Taking my final in about 20 minutes. Then I can go home

[Moose72]

*m feeling terrible. My anxiety is through the roof. I got up at 3 and took a shower to see if that would help. Well not really- it didnt. But i was clean so that was nice. I had an anxiety attack friday and since then ive been off. My hands shake if i try to settle down to sleep. I just got off both trazodone and seroquel- seroquel more recently. Im having a leftover panic attack i think and thinking about it makes it worse. I wonder if this is leftover depression? I havent been doing anything really but going to starbucks and im sure that doesnt help keep my mind occupied.

[tecomsin]

I felt this way when i finally got off Seroquel. It took awhile to go away. For me it was a month or two before i started to feel more normal and my sleep improved.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I felt this way when i finally got off Seroquel. It took awhile to go away. For me it was a month or two before i started to feel more normal and my sleep improved.

Had I known that I never would have gone on the stuff! At the time it was that or zyprexa. I didnt want to gain again on zyprexa so I chose seroquel. Turns out I gained on seroquel anyway.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

One of those days. UGH!
Woke up VERY depressed.
Many things became urgent today, needing immediate attention.
Long day. Lots of pain.

Love to All!

WC

I just saw this. I’m sorry you had such a rough day. How are you today? Sending big hugs and supportive vibes.

[Blue_Bird]

My final exam went well. I think I did pretty good.

I think my brain is saturated in chemicals , I'm not sure