[Guiness187055]

Super unproductive day today. I suffer from chronic insomnia and finally gave in and took 400mg of Thorazine. I slept a solid 9 hours but was a zombie the rest of the day and had to take a nap. Hope everyone had a good day.

[yellow_fleurs]

Had my therapy appointment today. Last week has been rough as per the usual hormone issues. I was surprised when my therapist asked if I had considered a mood stabilizer for part of the month to help deal with that, simply because I got the impression she wouldn't recommend I consider meds unless I was doing worse and therapy did not work. She mentioned I could see the psych nurse at their clinic, but I am pretty sure I want to see the psychiatrist who knows me so well from this past year if I do try meds. No point in starting over and seeing someone new plus he already knows about how weird I can react to some meds.
My therapist also talked about WRAP--anyone do this? I am supposed to look into this.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Super unproductive day today. I suffer from chronic insomnia and finally gave in and took 400mg of Thorazine. I slept a solid 9 hours but was a zombie the rest of the day and had to take a nap. Hope everyone had a good day.

Glad you got some sleep Sorry you felt like a zombie

Originally Posted by Under*Over

Classes canceled AGAIN. Starting to get a little antsy.

Been thinking of suicide on and off for a few weeks. Getting more frequent and scary now. Think I can handle it though. But wouldnt nevessarily say Im doing WELL.

Wow, that's really alarming. I'm concerned but i don't really know what to say. I've been there before tho. When i am considering taking action i call the distress line and talk it over with someone and it's always worked out well for me.

I read your other post about someone being cruel to you. That's also happened to me with my ex-husband. I think you got some good advice, especially about offering yourself self-compassion.

Anyways, please be safe. I wish i have something more compelling to say but all i can offer is: know you're not alone.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

It's so cold here that busses can't run. They are canceling and delaying schools for tomorrow too. Long long list of places that closed today including city offices. It's back down to -19 below again not sure about the windshield something like 30 below. But by Saturday it's supposed to be up to mid 30's. Crazy weather. I'm getting cabin fever can't wait till it warms up.

How can you survive that kinda weather ?? I literally would live under 17 blankets and worried about my pipes breaking ( they did 6 years ago, ptsd for life) from the cold.

Stay warm !!!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Super unproductive day today. I suffer from chronic insomnia and finally gave in and took 400mg of Thorazine. I slept a solid 9 hours but was a zombie the rest of the day and had to take a nap. Hope everyone had a good day.

I have Thorazine and Haldol to use if I go beyond 5 days no sleep, they both give me a hangover but Thorazine making reading so blurry the day after its hella annoying can’t even focus on my phone.... but when sleep must happen it’s a necessary evil.

Glad you got some sleep.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Had my therapy appointment today. Last week has been rough as per the usual hormone issues. I was surprised when my therapist asked if I had considered a mood stabilizer for part of the month to help deal with that, simply because I got the impression she wouldn't recommend I consider meds unless I was doing worse and therapy did not work. She mentioned I could see the psych nurse at their clinic, but I am pretty sure I want to see the psychiatrist who knows me so well from this past year if I do try meds. No point in starting over and seeing someone new plus he already knows about how weird I can react to some meds.

My therapist also talked about WRAP--anyone do this? I am supposed to look into this.

Hallie Beth is a peer support she knows a lot about it. I’ll give her a heads up.

[~Christina]

Pirilin , how are you doing ? Things go okay ?

Thinking of you

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hallie Beth is a peer support she knows a lot about it. I’ll give her a heads up.

I’m a WRAP group facilitator. What would you like to know?

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

My therapist also talked about WRAP--anyone do this? I am supposed to look into this.

I have done the WRAP. Before doing it with my T I found a lot of information on it online. I even found a pdf of the worksheets.


This is a pdf of the preparatory workbook as well. It's 60 pages, so print if you want to, or just read through it to get a really good idea of what it's like.
https://namiaustin.org/wp-content/up...-WRAP-Plan.pdf


There are also shorter versions of it out there, but I didn't see it right away this morning.

Good morning, everyone!

I also did a WRAP (but at my local NAMI) a while back and found it very helpful. I should go back and look at the info we received and compiled in a binder. Some parts of the WRAP we really need to do on our own based on their direction. Thanks HALLIEBETH for being a WRAP facilitator!

It's even colder today than yesterday in my state. It's now only 3 F. I know it's much colder in other parts of the country. I hope everyone is warm! But 3 F is pretty nasty considering that the deck rebuiders are back and working. At least it's sunny at the moment. It snowed briefly yesterday afternoon. I hope they finish today. I again put out thermal carafes of hot coffee and boiling water and the rest. I also put out a couple bananas, Mandarin oranges, and snack packs of mixed nuts.

The second psychologist I had contacted never called me back. I had missed her return call. Phone tag. If I don't hear from her I may hold off a bit and see how the one I saw on Tuesday pans out. I never heard from my old therapist I called to cancel. I asked her to confirm receipt of my voicemail, but maybe she won't. My relationship never reached a point where she'd care about me quitting, other than maybe the loss of future money. I don't imagine my quitting her would hurt her in another way... I don't think. I know that it can be a little sad for some therapists and psychiatrists when liked clients/patients leave, though.

[hopeless2015]

Well we are up to -6 now, supposed to be 50 this weekend lmao..good ole winter in IL. Anyway, back to work today. Been feeling ok mood wise, still titrating back up on the lamictal, I've noticed that I'm crashing big time at night, the combo of lamictal and seroquel must make a difference because when I was off the lamictal I was sleeping. But not this hard...not complaining at all about that.

Hugs to all

[MickeyCheeky]

You can do this! Stay strong. Sending many hugs to everyone

[Blueberrybook]

Well, this is a first. My mood is actually happy.

H is able to work from home Tues/Thurs now. He teaches a face-to-face class, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Because the commute from here is very long, 1.5 hr if there is not any traffic, he has figured he can work on his other course at home, which is an online class. The trade-off is he does work very late on Mondays & Wednesdays, Fridays, it depends. We are hopeful his 1 yr. visiting professorship will be renewed or turned into a permanent professorship.

At any rate, it has given us a lot more time to spend together as a couple. We don't feel comfortable leaving our daughter home alone for long, and we don't have family easily close by. And 11 year olds get too curious for their own good, or develop insomnia and/or turn into absolute night owls. It's been a change, but a good one for me & my marriage too

most of my time's been taken up exploring my new amazon alexa (which can also explain why I've not been here as much). I love it, my friend sophie sent it to me and so far I'm really enjoying it

I also got some new red lipstick this week. it's a really brite red and looks really nice on me.

I've had a low appetite this week because.. well, I don't know. I just have. maybe it's just because my days are so dull and depressing, or maybe it's because my cooking is just geting worse (I actually vote the latter)

I've also not been sleeping, but that's not really news

[cashart10]

Well, I slept more last night. I have no idea how much though because I woke up so many times and had trouble going back to sleep. I apparently took a nap today too because my husband came in to ask how long I had been napping and I was like huh? He said I was sawing logs. I had no idea. Today I have felt anxious and down. We ended up having to take my daughter to the doctor and my husband took her because I was acting strangely yesterday. She apparently has the flu and an ear infection. Poor baby! Other than that, I am trying to get through the day.

Here is a song that describes my mood.

The Diner - Ani Difranco

[Daonnachd]

Well, I met with the hospital psychiatrist today in preparation for tomorrow's ECT. It was not quite two hours getting there which is good for the north end of San Francisco Bay Area. So I got to sit and wait in the office space of the Behavioral Health Unit chatting with various staff members until the doc showed up. It was a relaxing 35 minutes. Interestingly, I recognised her face from some time when I was either inpatient there or she was visiting the ECT area (which is outside her normal rounds). I say "interesting" because either way it would've been close to an ECT treatment and I wouldn't expect to remember much.

Our deck is finished, other than eventual staining that must wait a couple of months! It's a relief. The guys did a really good job! After it's stained, we'll need to buy all new deck furniture. Our old stuff literally went up in flames because of the fire.

The second psychologist I called earlier this week finally called back. So now I have appointments with two prospective psychologists. I met the other one this past Tuesday and will see her again next Tuesday. I'll meet the second psychologist next Thursday. "Two-timing" therapists is not ideal, I know, but it's nice to have a choice. I'm lucky that my insurance allows this. Of course, I will be paying copays to each in the meantime. Intakes with new mental health providers are always a bit stressful, but I'm OK. It will also be tough choosing between the two, which is something I will have to do eventually. If they are equally good, it'll be sad sort of burning a bridge with the one I quit. I once "two-timed" prospective therapists in the past. I think it went on too long with both, though I really wasn't certain about either. In the end, neither of those were good choices. Gee whiz! I have such trouble finding good therapists for myself. When I finally do, they eventually move or retire. There aren't many additional choices left, within 30 mins, for therapists that take my insurance.

Both psychologists I mention above are about the same distance from my house, but in slightly different directions. The one that called me today is actually only about 10 minutes from where my husband works (about 25 mins from my home). If I choose her in the end, I may be able to meet my hubby for lunches on therapy days. That would be sweet! He likes that idea, too.

[yellow_fleurs]

Thanks ~Christina!
Daonnachd , thank you, will check out the document.
BirdDancer, that is good to know, it helped you, thanks!
HALLIEBETH87 I am trying to learn more about the process and how it is has helped others. My therapist mentioned it and will help me with it, but recommended I learn about it. I am going to visit the website and the info Daonnachd posted looks like a good place to start learning. Thanks!

[wildflowerchild25]

I stayed home from work at the behest of my dr today. I felt like I was swallowing knives this morning. I finally dragged myself out to the store and got sucrets numbing throat drops and I feel a lot better. Still coughing and sneezing but better. Should be better by tomorrow although not 100%. But I must return to work tomorrow, I’m sure I’m about to face disciplinary action due to how many days I’ve taken off in January. I actually care about my job this year. I hope I don’t lose it.

Cold today but not as cold as the Midwest. Y’all the real MVPs! I would never live somewhere where it gets to be -50 degrees out. It was bad enough at 3 degrees this morning. I’m looking forward to next week where it will be in the fifties for the first half of the week. Even though it won’t last I’ll take the break. It will remind me that not all hope is lost lol.

I had to skip seeing RS tonight because of my illness so I do hope I’m feeling better by tomorrow. I miss him. So does my son.

[Under*Over]

I feel depressed again. Like I just randomly want to die. Its like getting hit by a truck. Again. About the 4th time this week.

Im just going to curl up into a ball until this goes away. Its really hard though. Its been a while since Ive felt this bad this often. Im kinda scared. Its becoming harder to make the voice that tells me to keep going keep stay.

But I can make it through until next week hopefully. I just hate how bad these thoughts are.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Had my therapy appointment today. Last week has been rough as per the usual hormone issues. I was surprised when my therapist asked if I had considered a mood stabilizer for part of the month to help deal with that, simply because I got the impression she wouldn't recommend I consider meds unless I was doing worse and therapy did not work. She mentioned I could see the psych nurse at their clinic, but I am pretty sure I want to see the psychiatrist who knows me so well from this past year if I do try meds. No point in starting over and seeing someone new plus he already knows about how weird I can react to some meds.
My therapist also talked about WRAP--anyone do this? I am supposed to look into this.

I’m currently doing the Wellness Recovery Action Plan with the community mental health nurse. The goal is to have it in place so that the next time I’m unwell and my brain stops working that I have a documented plan of action.
With the hormonal stuff I know a reproductive endocrinologist who strongly believes that some women benefit from a little extra estrogen to manage PMT/PMDD. He’s had success with it.

[Daonnachd]

I wish all the best to all who need it.

The hospital where I have my ECT done just called me asking to move my appointment time from 10:00 to 08:45. It's fine, I just have to leave the house at 06:45 now. The good thing is we won't have the horrible rush-hour traffic to deal with. Hooray for ridiculously early appointments and long drives.

[Victoria'smom]

So I can't seem to get out of my head T calling my writing over dramatic. Our broken car is getting towed tomorrow. We're hoping we can scrap it on time. I took an extra Zyprexa last night. I couldn't stand the feelings of bugs coming out of my eyes. I see pdoc next week we'll see what she says.

At a party at the internship place. Not sure I will talk to anyone, lol. Currently in lurking mode.