[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Monday; I just love Monday's so much. I hope everyone had a good day today; my day was alright a little stressing. Work was alright for the most part; a lot better than last Monday. I really think everyone is adapting to the remodeled office including patients. It wasn't a bad Monday; a little busy but that is to be expected since it is Monday.

M is having back problems so of course I am worrying about him. He has a previous back injury that required surgery and naturally my brain is thinking worse case scenario like it always does. They always say think the worse; my brain has no problem doing that. Doc ordered an x-ray which wasn't good so he is being sent to get an MRI to see what the damage is. The x-ray showed a few possible different issues so doc wants an MRI to be on the safe side and see what is going on. I really hope it's nothing and he just strained it working out or at work and he'll get better soon.

My Cardiologist visit went really well; my numbers are very good. My heart rate on the EKG was 89 and my blood pressure was perfectly normal. He is beyond thrilled with those numbers even going back my very long sheet of previous blood pressure and HR readings from either myself of from all those primary doc visits and man there is a huge huge difference in the numbers; going from 140-150 down to 89; not to mention I have managed to get out of the pre-hypertension range with my blood pressure it was 110/70 which it's been a while since I have seen my blood pressure that low; I guess there was that time it bottomed out and was beyond low but that is considered normal which means my current heart medication is working great and causing normal numbers.

He also ordered some lab work to see what my catecholamine levels are for the other issue he is managing, basically he wants to see how much adrenaline is currently in my blood and wants to check my cholesterol and triglycerides to see if that has changed at all since losing a bit of weight and eating healthy and kicking all soda and coffee out of my diet for the most part; every once in a while I'll have a Starbucks but it's no where near the rate I once drank it; instead I drink a lot more water and healthy types of tea; and best of all assuming nothing weird comes back in my lab work; I get to go to a month follows ups; since it's obvious the medication is working to lower my vitals which I am so happy about; don't get me wrong I really do like my Cardiologist but it's nice that I won't have to worry about seeing him biweekly and I can focus on something else; like M lol.

Hugs to everyone

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Brentus

Everyone has such busy lives and so many responsibilities it makes me feel inadequate since I am unemployed right now and can't seem to do the simplest of chores or duties. Anyway -- I hope everyone is having an excellent day. I'm feeling great

Please don't feel inadequate; I was unemployed for a little while too while they were trying to find a medication combo that worked. I spent a lot of time in my bed not wanting to do a whole much of anything. Hang in there it does get better; someone once told me Bipolar cycles.

[TheSeaCat]

BeyondtheRainbow I am so sorry for your loss.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

My father died this morning. I am so relieved he is no longer suffering.

So sorry for your loss.

[beauflow]

((BeyondTheRainbow))
Be gentle with yourself and in this time, many many well thoughts your way.

I am sorry that you had to deal with so much leading up to this, but in another light -all that showed a strength I believe, I believe it showed also your outcome of healing over time as well.. I don't recall every thing, but what I've read I just think that's amazing.

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

It’s often good to get stuff out of your head. We can all relate. No matter how instignificant you might think it is.

thanks Christina, it's hard because some times I feel it's too much, or becomes a rant.

Sunday doc called and I am really appreciated of her interest and caring, however her way of communicating isn't my style. I respect that she's worked hard to get where she is, but I do believe growing and learning never ceases ..especially in the health field.

On Friday I had already asked to speak with the specialist to go over the endoscopy biopsy, that's another story that if I mentioned it some may ask why go back to this gen doc...
Friday i had a stat ultrasound sound.
Sunday's call doc tells me with In the same conversation that:
I should had went to the hospital and if it ever happens again to go to the hospital... and then promptly after saying it's just fatty liver , and no that couldn't have caused my symptoms, and those are still a mystery... then telling me "well you have been stressed and may be that's what this all is".

If it was "just stress" I wouldn't had went in, what was going on was very physical and very real, at least to me and a few others too that saw me...
I did tell her I wanted a second opinion, which she agreed we could do another scan.

Today after working I went back to the place that the ultrasound was done and got a copy of images and the report.
It's not doom, but it's more than a "just" as if not much.
Yes, scream that I am a horrible patient, I know.. but I am not a freaked out patient, I am a learning and "where am" I patient that needs input from someone educated.

Been reading a lot. Looked up a lot, been reading of life changes .. also read more than one article that talks of the symptoms i had with the report findings, and how it probably shouldn't be shrugged off... I know I only went and got my vet tech cert many years ago, but health and body things I do like to read on. Reason why I kept my back images and researched was because of interest too and amazement with the body.

Anyways, it's funny .. liver problems.. angry liver... liver -the seat of anger ..aaannnndddd last T telling me my anger wasn't integrated
Oh..
How things some times go hand in hand I guess I am reminded, is what I am trying to say.

On top of that, that kid next to me that recently moved out, verbally office told me he was infested-- no wonder i saw a roach then.

My cat is with my ex (his "dad parent" ) because I can't be remote or late at work tomorrow and it's easier for everyone... I miss my cat and have felt sad that I had to disrupt him. Cat is a sensitive guy, and I just want the best for him... I was talking to him as if I was telling a child of what was going on...

It will all be ok, and yes I have and continue to be stressed but life does go on... I've been very bouncy again, but isn't that my natural state?

Yes, still need to see a head doc..just my physical issues took precedence I felt... and yes, I understand the stress and slight depression before hand didn't assist with this now... but I cant go back.. only forward.. and I have to remind myself that a lot

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Did so good for 5 days. Didnt drink, took all my medication and spent my time doing important things like cleaning and stuff.

This morning forgot my meds. This afternoon went for a killer awesome run and chose not to take my meds. This evening danced a lot, having a drink and again, choosing not to take my meds.

But ya know, happiness, so today is still a win!

[Aurelius710]

After class today, I'm heading back to my old stomping grounds to see family. Mixed bag this. Sure, I'm seeing family and that's a plus, but I'm also going to crack the proverbial whip. I've got tax stuff that I've been waiting three months for and they've been dragging their feet in getting it to me. They've also got it in their minds to help me possibly move out, but again, they're dragging their feet.

Besides that and class, I'm picking up a prescription from my psych NP. Low dose haldol for anxiety. At least I won't be tense! Ha ha!

[beauflow]

Idk why I share what I do.... all i know talking with one of my coworker friends today, I just feel like a burden.

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hello everyone and happy Monday; I just love Monday's so much. I hope everyone had a good day today; my day was alright a little stressing. Work was alright for the most part; a lot better than last Monday. I really think everyone is adapting to the remodeled office including patients. It wasn't a bad Monday; a little busy but that is to be expected since it is Monday.

M is having back problems so of course I am worrying about him. He has a previous back injury that required surgery and naturally my brain is thinking worse case scenario like it always does. They always say think the worse; my brain has no problem doing that. Doc ordered an x-ray which wasn't good so he is being sent to get an MRI to see what the damage is. The x-ray showed a few possible different issues so doc wants an MRI to be on the safe side and see what is going on. I really hope it's nothing and he just strained it working out or at work and he'll get better soon.

My Cardiologist visit went really well; my numbers are very good. My heart rate on the EKG was 89 and my blood pressure was perfectly normal. He is beyond thrilled with those numbers even going back my very long sheet of previous blood pressure and HR readings from either myself of from all those primary doc visits and man there is a huge huge difference in the numbers; going from 140-150 down to 89; not to mention I have managed to get out of the pre-hypertension range with my blood pressure it was 110/70 which it's been a while since I have seen my blood pressure that low; I guess there was that time it bottomed out and was beyond low but that is considered normal which means my current heart medication is working great and causing normal numbers.

He also ordered some lab work to see what my catecholamine levels are for the other issue he is managing, basically he wants to see how much adrenaline is currently in my blood and wants to check my cholesterol and triglycerides to see if that has changed at all since losing a bit of weight and eating healthy and kicking all soda and coffee out of my diet for the most part; every once in a while I'll have a Starbucks but it's no where near the rate I once drank it; instead I drink a lot more water and healthy types of tea; and best of all assuming nothing weird comes back in my lab work; I get to go to a month follows ups; since it's obvious the medication is working to lower my vitals which I am so happy about; don't get me wrong I really do like my Cardiologist but it's nice that I won't have to worry about seeing him biweekly and I can focus on something else; like M lol.

Hugs to everyone

TheSeaCat, thanks for sharing about these good outcomes! I hope your heart rate stays lower and your blood test results are good.

Speaking of the heart, I've been feeling so unwell these past five days. I think my very poor diet is playing a part, and maybe some minor mood shift. It worries me that I'm gaining weight steadily, but it's been hard to control my diet. I've been binge eating junk lately with high sugars and fat. I had my blood tests last week and know that the results won't be good. I have to take better care of myself, but really think I'll need some Seroquel XR reduction to help.

Last Thursday I emailed the director of the French school about possible private lessons during the daytime. Evening classes still seem like a bad idea for me. My idea would be to have private classes every other week instead of the evening group classes every week. That would sort of even out the costs. But I have heard nothing from her. I resent my email to her a few minutes ago. She hadn't even responded to the email I sent before last week's email. I don't understand it. Something is amiss. I don't feel that I've been bugging her in any negative way. Who knows! Anyway, I had to resend it today because I see my therapist today. I have to give her some update on this. I don't want my therapist to think I'm totally abandoning the idea.

I've been using the DuoLingo app to practice my French. The lower levels are so far easy, but I do make the occasional minor mistake and I know I'd really like more basic grammar review. Maybe I should start a lot lower than the director suggested. That would allow me to take the daytime group classes. They start March 15th. If I don't hear from the director by the day after tomorrow, I'll just enroll online in the daytime option at the lower level. I just talked to my husband and he agreed with that plan. I would REALLY benefit from the daytime class, not just for French learning, but for getting out of the house and being with people. That daytime class seems to never be filled, so waiting a bit to enroll in it should be fine.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Speaking of the heart, I've been feeling so unwell these past five days. I think my very poor diet is playing a part, and maybe some minor mood shift. It worries me that I'm gaining weight steadily, but it's been hard to control my diet. I've been binge eating junk lately with high sugars and fat. I had my blood tests last week and know that the results won't be good. I have to take better care of myself, but really think I'll need some Seroquel XR reduction to help.

Last Thursday I emailed the director of the French school about possible private lessons during the daytime. Evening classes still seem like a bad idea for me. My idea would be to have private classes every other week instead of the evening group classes every week. That would sort of even out the costs. But I have heard nothing from her. I resent my email to her a few minutes ago. She hadn't even responded to the email I sent before last week's email. I don't understand it. Something is amiss. I don't feel that I've been bugging her in any negative way. Who knows! Anyway, I had to resend it today because I see my therapist today. I have to give her some update on this. I don't want my therapist to think I'm totally abandoning the idea.

I've been using the DuoLingo app to practice my French. The lower levels are so far easy, but I do make the occasional minor mistake and I know I'd really like more basic grammar review. Maybe I should start a lot lower than the director suggested. That would allow me to take the daytime group classes. They start March 15th. If I don't hear from the director by the day after tomorrow, I'll just enroll online in the daytime option at the lower level. I just talked to my husband and he agreed with that plan. I would REALLY benefit from the daytime class, not just for French learning, but for getting out of the house and being with people. That daytime class seems to never be filled, so waiting a bit to enroll in it should be fine.

I can relate so much to your post! We have a lot in common. I struggle with weight gain recently myself. I'm not overweight (yet) but I'm getting to the end of my healthy weight limit. My issue is consuming a lot, and I mean A LOT, of soda. I'm trying to limit it but it's hard. I find forcing myself to drink a glass of water between every soda helps. Or, if I'm really going to go the distance that day. Buy a fountain drink (usually a medium size), and drink water the rest of the day (to help prevent headaches). Anyway, that's just me in that regard. I hope you find the right diet and methods of caring for yourself.

On the other end -- I LOVE the fact you want to learn another language. I am a Spanish teacher, and a learner of German and Chinese. I hope you get a response soon from the school, it's definitely worth having a professional teacher (this doesn't mean trained as a teacher, I mean informal ones who have experience) for private lessons. Pedagogy or in this case, andragogy (adult learning) has some best practices that teachers should know. Private lessons are a good way to get passed the "affective filter" of anxiety and fear of learning a language with others around.

Your plan seems excellent. I really hope it all works out for you! Keep me updated on your learning! I'm excited for you!

Been without Trileptal for about a week now because I ran out and the receptionist won't tell my pdoc to send over another rx. I called again but no answer and left a message. Guess I'm not going to be getting any more trileptal until my appointment (which is next week so it's not a big deal). I just hate dealing with these people.
I've been doing well though, not much else to say.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by spikes

Been without Trileptal for about a week now because I ran out and the receptionist won't tell my pdoc to send over another rx. I called again but no answer and left a message. Guess I'm not going to be getting any more trileptal until my appointment (which is next week so it's not a big deal). I just hate dealing with these people.
I've been doing well though, not much else to say.

That is a big deal! Stability often depends on a constant blood level. Your pdoc should know that and he needs to know his receptionist is playing games.

Originally Posted by Brentus

I can relate so much to your post! We have a lot in common. I struggle with weight gain recently myself. I'm not overweight (yet) but I'm getting to the end of my healthy weight limit. My issue is consuming a lot, and I mean A LOT, of soda. I'm trying to limit it but it's hard. I find forcing myself to drink a glass of water between every soda helps. Or, if I'm really going to go the distance that day. Buy a fountain drink (usually a medium size), and drink water the rest of the day (to help prevent headaches). Anyway, that's just me in that regard. I hope you find the right diet and methods of caring for yourself.

On the other end -- I LOVE the fact you want to learn another language. I am a Spanish teacher, and a learner of German and Chinese. I hope you get a response soon from the school, it's definitely worth having a professional teacher (this doesn't mean trained as a teacher, I mean informal ones who have experience) for private lessons. Pedagogy or in this case, andragogy (adult learning) has some best practices that teachers should know. Private lessons are a good way to get passed the "affective filter" of anxiety and fear of learning a language with others around.

Your plan seems excellent. I really hope it all works out for you! Keep me updated on your learning! I'm excited for you!

Xiexie, Brentus! Wo zai daxue xue le si nian de zhongwen, keshi wang le hen duo! Wo meiyou jihui lianxi shuo zhonghua. Sorry no tones or Chinese characters! [Thank you, Brentus! I studied four years of Mandarin Chinese at university, but have forgotten a lot! I don't have opportunities to practice it.] I did use it when I lived and worked in Taiwan, and to a small degree as part of my last job. I worked with partners in China P.R.C. and sometimes attended student fairs and made partner visits in Taiwan.

I wish I had continued my French studies at university. I had 4.5 years of French in high school. I did use it a bit during some past travels to France, but that's it. My husband wants to move to France. He is a Czech, though. He studied French for 10 years from elementary school through high school, along with English...and of course Russian, which they forced him to study.

Your strategy with the water and soda seems good. It makes sense to make changes in steps. Though I have been binging on some foods, at least my dinners are low cal. You're lucky you're still in a normal BMI range. Work hard to stay there, or at least close. I'm about 18-20 lbs above my normal BMI range. That's ideally what I'd like to lose. I'm fine at the upper end of my normal BMI range. I actually look pretty trim at that weight. I'm not petite.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by beauflow

thanks Christina, it's hard because some times I feel it's too much, or becomes a rant.


Sunday doc called and I am really appreciated of her interest and caring, however her way of communicating isn't my style. I respect that she's worked hard to get where she is, but I do believe growing and learning never ceases ..especially in the health field.


On Friday I had already asked to speak with the specialist to go over the endoscopy biopsy, that's another story that if I mentioned it some may ask why go back to this gen doc...

Friday i had a stat ultrasound sound.

Sunday's call doc tells me with In the same conversation that:

I should had went to the hospital and if it ever happens again to go to the hospital... and then promptly after saying it's just fatty liver , and no that couldn't have caused my symptoms, and those are still a mystery... then telling me "well you have been stressed and may be that's what this all is".


If it was "just stress" I wouldn't had went in, what was going on was very physical and very real, at least to me and a few others too that saw me...

I did tell her I wanted a second opinion, which she agreed we could do another scan.


Today after working I went back to the place that the ultrasound was done and got a copy of images and the report.

It's not doom, but it's more than a "just" as if not much.

Yes, scream that I am a horrible patient, I know.. but I am not a freaked out patient, I am a learning and "where am" I patient that needs input from someone educated.


Been reading a lot. Looked up a lot, been reading of life changes .. also read more than one article that talks of the symptoms i had with the report findings, and how it probably shouldn't be shrugged off... I know I only went and got my vet tech cert many years ago, but health and body things I do like to read on. Reason why I kept my back images and researched was because of interest too and amazement with the body.


Anyways, it's funny .. liver problems.. angry liver... liver -the seat of anger ..aaannnndddd last T telling me my anger wasn't integrated

Oh..

How things some times go hand in hand I guess I am reminded, is what I am trying to say.


On top of that, that kid next to me that recently moved out, verbally office told me he was infested-- no wonder i saw a roach then.


My cat is with my ex (his "dad parent" ) because I can't be remote or late at work tomorrow and it's easier for everyone... I miss my cat and have felt sad that I had to disrupt him. Cat is a sensitive guy, and I just want the best for him... I was talking to him as if I was telling a child of what was going on...


It will all be ok, and yes I have and continue to be stressed but life does go on... I've been very bouncy again, but isn't that my natural state?


Yes, still need to see a head doc..just my physical issues took precedence I felt... and yes, I understand the stress and slight depression before hand didn't assist with this now... but I cant go back.. only forward.. and I have to remind myself that a lot

I am SO glad you got all that out!!!!

Was so not a rant it was life. You have so much going on. Health issues are no thing to play with. I have a fatty liver myself, found out from a us prior to starting a biologic for PsA. I need another follow up scan in about 6 months. Certainly get a second opinion.

I think you on many reasons have a right to be angry, so don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t

Will Cat be back with you soon? Or is it a permanent situation ?

Take care of yourself as best you can , be especially kind to yourself also , you have so much going on.

[pirilin]

It has been a losing day.
Note to self: play afraid. The others want to win too.

[Blue_Bird]

I was having psychotic symptoms/very delusional and depressed for a couple weeks. The past few days have been much better. I'm not sleeping enough but I'm in reality again and being productive in my life. I didn't think I could get that way again. I had almost a year of no problems, then minimal problems. I lost it though, I thought there were people in my house (there weren't) and heard demons talking to me and other very strange stuff , things really escalated, I'm lucky it subsided eventually because I would have ended up screwing up this entire semester which I was beginning to (not showing up for classes or being able to focus on assignments, etc) . I'm catching up on my class work and feel much better

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Thank you everyone for the kind messages yesterday as I enter this weird phase of grieving for a father I didn't really know. You'll never know how much I appreciate your words.

Tomorrow my brother and I head to his house to try to find any valuable papers or anything else. the house is in such bad condition that to prevent anything from getting into my car we're wearing tyvek overalls, gloves, shoe covers, and masks. Anything that is coming back will be bagged inside and then outside so the bag in my car is clean.

Frankly I dread this. But it must be done. I'm afraid it is going to be what makes the grief really hit because I"m going to learn how awful his living conditions have been. Working in home health in rural Appalachia I've see some bad conditions and this sounds like ti will be close to the worst I've seen.

Thanks so much again.

[Wander]

Struggling. Barely made it through class yesterday. Exhausted, in pain and depressed. I think I got a few things out of it, but I’m very worried I won’t make it through the the semester, mostly due to the physical issues. It is hard to study with a foggy brain and hard to drive and sit through class with the physical exhaustion and pain. I can only hope this is a flare up that passes soon.

The depression is also a concern. Less about study and more about fear of it turning mixed and severe as it often has before. I’m scared. Hoping this is a small crash after hypomania and I will revert to stable. It just hurts so much. I am irritable too. Want to punch things. Seeing T today and pdoc tomorrow. I’m scared of being honest. My pills are already held at the chemist. If I talk of harming myself in other ways I may be put IP.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m still in good spirits despite being in intense pain. Seems like morning is when my back spasms but after I lay on the heating pad for awhile and take my muscle relaxer it seems to loosen up. I’m going on o call HR tomorrow and see if I am eligible for disability or at least fmla. I’m also going to tell my doctor on Monday to quit ****ing around with injections and give me a referral for surgery. I’m terrified of surgery but I need my life back. I don’t want to end up permanently disabled. I’m already bored af.

RS has been so good to me. He took off work to drive me to my appointment yesterday. Today he fixed my door, put a new chain lock on, and put up a light over the sink because I had previously complained it was too dark to do dishes at night. He’s so thoughtful. He also bought me the heating pad on Sunday after the ER doc recommended it. He treats me so well for someone I’ve only been seeing for three and half months. I am thankful to have him in my life.

[beauflow]

s
I am sorry for everyone struggling but also glad to read some having triumphs.

thanks Christina and everyone, I am sorry too.
I am probably my worst enemy with being hard on myself. Always have to make the appearance of put together, and I am failing at it.. I am losing my grip a bit.

I see the gen doc on Thursday to talk about more scans, going to see GI doc later in the month..
been trying to slowly change things in my diet ... I have not started to smoke again, which I think is crucial right now...

I am afraid about adding any drugs with not knowing what is wrong with me right now... but I do need to find someone.. which may just add stress if they are not a right fit.. but I don't know.

I had a rather rough day,
Some thing happened at work, again- this time nothing to do with my dept. people, but the company.

I cried at work - twice in front of a good coworker friend- I got very upset one of the two times-- I did my "crying so horribly to my maniacal laughing at times" I have done this for many years, may be my whole life if I think on it.. I know in my twenties it became more of a realization. today scared me as I felt like I needed to flee.. I've rarely have had that, and it may have been due to I was at work. I feel like I am having a break down almost.

It's very rapid and I do not feel I have any control over it.
My thoughts today have been ranged of sui/hom, raging/peaceful, from hopeful to dread, hopeless to hopeful... I been "go get 'em" to "i just want to lay here and curl up and die"... all I know is that I have another day tomorrow and hopefully it goes better.

I left work early due to just did not feel ok enough to be around people and also the apt manager wanted to talk; and I rather wanted to do this in person.

They are going to spray again next week. The infestation in the vacant apt is really bad after more inspection.

I did get complements on how well I cleaned and that the pest control personnel mentioned that : my clean up for him to do his job was one of the best he has seen... -guess neurotically cleaning can have it's benefits.

I am going to leave every thing packed up for now. I don't care. I will try best not to be chaotic with moving things out, unless I do get a storage unit (I have been known to just start moving things to a vehicle and drive around with them with not much purpose others understand but to me makes 100% sense).

My cat - it will be temporary.. he is upset, but I hate to move him back- then move him again, and keep doing this to him. My ex is willing to take him in for the time, but also worries that cat may be happier at home, even if we have to move him out again.. I just don't know right now.

I just know, that I have some things that I Can use to keep me going, or at least that I believe.

this all adds to - I have self medicated all this time.. and I am in need of help I guess. .. and I hate, that not too long ago, I realized this then went back to "I am fine, nothing is wrong with me".

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Tuesday. I hope everyone had a good Tuesday. I'm okay a little tired already this early in the week. I'm really worried about M and his back. I feel tired since it feels like work and school monopolize all my free time and that with careful planning I am able to enjoy my weekend. I guess I am just starting to feel the stress start to add up with work and school; although neither are all that stressful. I just want to do a good job when it comes to work; and I really really want my Bachelor's Degree. I'm just kind of tired plus worried about the people I love.

After work M and I went to visit my parents and brought them food since it's hard getting my mom out in this type of weather. The visit was nice dad is much more chill about my relationship now; plus I'm doing a lot better when it comes to my health.

Sorry for the small update just not a lot going on that I feel like sharing at the moment.

Hugs to everyone

I had a good day today. Got my cat tigers blood work results. Best the vet has ever seen for a diabetic cat at his age, (13). He said most diabetic cats don't live that long. His increased thirst just might be the diabetes. But otherwise my cat is doing great. He said just keep up with the diabetic food and keep insulin doses the same.

Saw my psych nurse. I'm still just decreasing the diazepam. Doing it this way, (switching from lorazepam to diazepam, and decreasing by 2 mgs each month) has been very easy so far. I do worry when I get down below like 8 mgs. But she has reassured me that we can increase my gabapentin then if needed.

Went grocery shopping too. So got that out of the way.

Hugs to those that need and want them.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m still in good spirits despite being in intense pain. Seems like morning is when my back spasms but after I lay on the heating pad for awhile and take my muscle relaxer it seems to loosen up. I’m going on o call HR tomorrow and see if I am eligible for disability or at least fmla. I’m also going to tell my doctor on Monday to quit ****ing around with injections and give me a referral for surgery. I’m terrified of surgery but I need my life back. I don’t want to end up permanently disabled. I’m already bored af.

RS has been so good to me. He took off work to drive me to my appointment yesterday. Today he fixed my door, put a new chain lock on, and put up a light over the sink because I had previously complained it was too dark to do dishes at night. He’s so thoughtful. He also bought me the heating pad on Sunday after the ER doc recommended it. He treats me so well for someone I’ve only been seeing for three and half months. I am thankful to have him in my life.

Sounds like things have taken a turn for the worse since I was on last, considering your back.

When the disc in my back ruptured, my legs went numb too. It's a very long story but I couldn't walk or barely move. They put me on presidone, lyrica, a muscle relaxer, and percocet. I had surgery 2 weeks later after the mri went through. The surgeon said injections or pt wouldn't help at that point.

Surgery really wasn't that scary. Better than not being able to barely move. I would push for an mri if you haven't gotten one yet. My gp didn't take me seriously and I do have some permanent damage. I'm so, so sorry you're in so much pain. I've never, I mean never experienced that amount of pain in my life. Take good care of yourself!