[fern46]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Night 2 with less then 4 hrs sleep. I'm getting concerned I'm going into a mixed episode. My pdoc is only in the office Monday and Wednesday so I don't know whether to call today or wait it out until next Wednesday. Next Monday we'll be out of town.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. If it were me I would go ahead and call. I wouldn't want to be stuck out of town without the proper meds if you need an adjustment. I hope this resolves for you soon.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Good morning, everyone! Or, good afternoon. I hope today is a decent day for most of us. For those struggling, I hope it has some bright spots.

I didn't mention this here before, but I have been trying to get myself to write more. Some may have seen a couple draft attempts. I used to blog daily, but in the recent year and a half, I slowed to a stop. That saddened me. Part of the reason has been my mood, and another was feeling that too many familiar people learned too much about me. My dad shared my blog address with half his town and much of our family. I'd visit him and go to the local cafe, and the owner would say "I really like your blog!" Eek!!! I know my father meant well.

Last week, I discovered a nice professional blog owned by a psychologist. She has a small team of writers who write about psychology-related topics. They're not journal-type entries, and don't focus on any specific type of mental illness. They are mostly articles and reflections. I commented on a post there, and in response, one of the regular contributors read many of my blog posts. He invited me to be a contributor. I confess that I procrastinated getting back to him, despite being flattered. Truth is, I worry about being able to do anything formal, regularly. That is part of the reason I'm on disability. Such responsibilities put extreme pressure on me, which in turn can be destabilizing. Then I have a resulting grief, if I fail.

I told my therapist about the above offer. She was happy for me and encouraged me to discuss if flexibility in providing blog articles was possible. Perhaps I will. She also asked if I told my husband about the invitation. I haven't. I told her that if I do, my husband will predictably scold me that I should be helping him write content for a podcast he's working on with his colleague. Problem is, I've never been excited about the podcast idea, though I know that my contributions would be valuable...if I could get myself to do it. When I'm not "into" something, it's like forcing cod liver oil into the mouth of a child. When passionate, one can't get me to stop, and I truly excel.

You write beautifully no matter what you decide. People benefit from any of the formats you choose to share your thoughts on. I'm always happy to see your posts no matter what your mood is. Good luck with the decision. The right thing will come to you when you're ready.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I’ve decided that, instead of going cold turkey off my rexulti, I’ll take half a tablet for 2 weeks. After that, 1/4 of a tablet for 2 weeks. Then off for good! So I took 1/2 a tablet last night.

Doing pretty well. Sleep is a little wonky, but I’m sure it’ll straighten itself out. For example, I went to bed at 11:30pm and woke up at 4am exact.

I’m hoping to go from my current “normal” 10 hrs of sleep back to my 7 hrs of sleep prior to meds. I like when I have more time in my day. Plus, my apartment is atrocious and I need time to clean it.

Hi Blue!
I think tapering your med is a great idea!
I hope it works out for you!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Thanks @BirdDancer. Keeping my fingers crossed that it works out that way!

My pdoc increased the dose, just waiting for the pharmacy to fill the prescription now.

Hey there, scooter!
I hope your med adjustment helps!
Keep us in the loop?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Good morning, everyone! Or, good afternoon. I hope today is a decent day for most of us. For those struggling, I hope it has some bright spots.

I didn't mention this here before, but I have been trying to get myself to write more. Some may have seen a couple draft attempts. I used to blog daily, but in the recent year and a half, I slowed to a stop. That saddened me. Part of the reason has been my mood, and another was feeling that too many familiar people learned too much about me. My dad shared my blog address with half his town and much of our family. I'd visit him and go to the local cafe, and the owner would say "I really like your blog!" Eek!!! I know my father meant well.

Last week, I discovered a nice professional blog owned by a psychologist. She has a small team of writers who write about psychology-related topics. They're not journal-type entries, and don't focus on any specific type of mental illness. They are mostly articles and reflections. I commented on a post there, and in response, one of the regular contributors read many of my blog posts. He invited me to be a contributor. I confess that I procrastinated getting back to him, despite being flattered. Truth is, I worry about being able to do anything formal, regularly. That is part of the reason I'm on disability. Such responsibilities put extreme pressure on me, which in turn can be destabilizing. Then I have a resulting grief, if I fail.

I told my therapist about the above offer. She was happy for me and encouraged me to discuss if flexibility in providing blog articles was possible. Perhaps I will. She also asked if I told my husband about the invitation. I haven't. I told her that if I do, my husband will predictably scold me that I should be helping him write content for a podcast he's working on with his colleague. Problem is, I've never been excited about the podcast idea, though I know that my contributions would be valuable...if I could get myself to do it. When I'm not "into" something, it's like forcing cod liver oil into the mouth of a child. When passionate, one can't get me to stop, and I truly excel.

Hi BirdDancer!

I hope you are having a good day!

I am very excited for you re: this request you write for the blog. I think it is a major compliment!

I know you are an exceptionally talented writer. I both enjoy and admire your writing. I think you will enjoy yourself while writing for the site.

I do understand wanting a guarantee of some flexibility. I would want a similar arrangement if I were expected to donate my energies to any cause on a regular basis. I do feel you have a lot of innate talent and you will find writing entries much easier than the average person.

I am interested in the site/blog, as I thoroughly enjoy following your entries.

Very happy for you!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Irritated with life and the world. I need to learn to let things go and stop pitying myself, it's disgusting and I'm wildly irritated. I can't sleep, I can't eat. Of course, someone who reads this might say, "well, she's just pitying herself" I'm posting a reply to this thread, lol. I'm not pitying myself at all right now.

Hi sadveiledbride,
I hope you are having a better day today.

I'd carefully read your post. You might find it interesting to re-read it.
"...I need to let things go and stop pitying myself..."

Nobody here thinks you are pitying yourself.
I hope you don't think so, either.
You deserve self-compassion.

[Sunflower123]

It’s been raining here. I noticed that the crepe myrtle made a beautiful background for the flowers I put on the deck to get rain. With the soothing sounds of the rain and the lightening and thunder, I made a mini ASMR video for my loved ones for when they get stressed. It turned out well.

Putting together the prayer beads was fun last night. I picked deep pink beads with pale, translucent pink cruciform beads and a silver cross. We had a lovely time.

I need to get a hobby. Now that mom is healed and the house is in shape, I find myself with some time on my hands. I am pondering relearning French (2 years in high school), upping my piano skills (10 years of lessons there), learning to paint or Tae Kwon Do (yellow belt there). I so wish cooking was my thing but alas it’s not. It stresses me out.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful day and I send warm wishes to all and extra hugs to those that are struggling.

[Wild Coyote]

Another trying day, mostly in my head, I think.

Another night of interrupted sleep. An intruder again. I'd like to confront this "being," but I cannot see it. I am sure this recurring theme means something, relates to something I am going through now, or something similar in my past.
I am hoping for insight on this so I can resolve it and move on!

I am losing enough sleep that my body jumps! I hate that! I can usually get rid of this IF I sleep long enough.

I woke up both agitated and sad. Lots going on, for sure. Lots I cannot talk about here. I have been feeling increasingly depressed. My pdoc made some med changes last week. I will see her again this week and we'll see if it makes sense to adjust meds again or not yet.

It's more than meds though. I need to work on all of this in another way(s), too. Life can be very challenging at times!

Love to All ~

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

It’s been raining here. I noticed that the crepe myrtle made a beautiful background for the flowers I put on the deck to get rain. With the soothing sounds of the rain and the lightening and thunder, I made a mini ASMR video for my loved ones for when they get stressed. It turned out well.

Putting together the prayer beads was fun last night. I picked deep pink beads with pale, translucent pink cruciform beads and a silver cross. We had a lovely time.

I need to get a hobby. Now that mom is healed and the house is in shape, I find myself with some time on my hands. I am pondering relearning French (2 years in high school), upping my piano skills (10 years of lessons there), learning to paint or Tae Kwon Do (yellow belt there). I so wish cooking was my thing but alas it’s not. It stresses me out.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful day and I send warm wishes to all and extra hugs to those that are struggling.

Lovely! Just lovely!
I am thrilled you are enjoying life.

The prayer beads sound interesting. I have been attracted to lots of "stones," lately. By this, I mean both stones and jewelry made with various stones. There are so many kinds of them!

Oh, and I think pink is the perfect color for you!
Wow! It sounds like you have a lot of interests!!!

Thanks for being a friend!

[Jedi67]

ok day today. mood is fine. uneventful. slept ok. maybe a bit bored and restless but didn't want to leave the house other than taking my son to work. took a Kpin for some anxiety but it isn't anything to bad. no highs or lows. guess that's something, huh? took PM meds and I am about to eat a light dinner. no real appetite to speak of.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Another trying day, mostly in my head, I think.

Another night of interrupted sleep. An intruder again. I'd like to confront this "being," but I cannot see it. I am sure this recurring theme means something, relates to something I am going through now, or something similar in my past.
I am hoping for insight on this so I can resolve it and move on!

I am losing enough sleep that my body jumps! I hate that! I can usually get rid of this IF I sleep long enough.

I woke up both agitated and sad. Lots going on, for sure. Lots I cannot talk about here. I have been feeling increasingly depressed. My pdoc made some med changes last week. I will see her again this week and we'll see if it makes sense to adjust meds again or not yet.

It's more than meds though. I need to work on all of this in another way(s), too. Life can be very challenging at times!

Love to All ~

I wish I could give you a big hug or that we lived closer so I could support or help you in person. I’ve always said I wish I could donate my good days.

Saying I’m sorry you are struggling feels inadequate and doesn’t reflect how heartbroken or worried I am for you and particularly for your health. I’m glad you are seeing a pdoc on a regular basis.

Is there anything at all I can do to help brighten your day even a little bit? Thinking of you with love and support.

This. Beautifully put, Jennifer.

Words really fail to convey how I feel about your situation, WC. Big, big hugs...

[LadyShadow]

Had a real bad couple of days.

Reported my professor for being useless and all over the place, cause he well, IS.

Found out I was robbed $1200 from a Debt Consolidation company that's supposed to HELP not STEAL from people who are struggling. Had a total nervous breakdown and felt dizzy and almost fainted today due to the stress.

Hopefully tomorrow is better.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Had a real bad couple of days.

Reported my professor for being useless and all over the place, cause he well, IS.

Found out I was robbed $1200 from a Debt Consolidation company that's supposed to HELP not STEAL from people who are struggling. Had a total nervous breakdown and felt dizzy and almost fainted today due to the stress.

Hopefully tomorrow is better.

How terrible! I am so sorry you went through this. Is there some way of reporting them or attempting to get your money back?

We have a reporter here in town who investigates shoddy businesses and attempts to make things right for the victim. Do you have anything like that?

I hope you have better days ahead.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

How terrible! I am so sorry you went through this. Is there some way of reporting them or attempting to get your money back?

We have a reporter here in town who investigates shoddy businesses and attempts to make things right for the victim. Do you have anything like that?

I hope you have better days ahead.

Thank you so much for your support Jennifer!

I am going to wait till they refund whatever money they have left in the "Savings" account I was paying into when I was in their program. I can't believe I was so stupid. The agreement was that they would take their fees when they made settlements with my creditors; I learned it is ILLEGAL for them to touch my money.

I paid in $2000 and am only getting back $800 after 8 months of paying $250 a month. So they basically stole $1200 which they claim I agreed to. Trust me if I knew they were taking $199 a month for the first 5 months out of my $250 payment for bullcrap fees I wouldn't have agreed to their shady program.

After they return my $800 and I close the account I am heading straight to Small Claims Court. I called a lawyer and they said $1200 was too small an amount for them to take a case. That's fine, I'll just sue them on my own.

Ugh, through all of it though, I feel so stupid. I should have known better, or researched it more - not just trust them by their word.

But trust me, I am also going to the newspapers and the press after all of this happens. I am also going to go online and go to every review website and leave HORRIBLE reviews for them EVERYWHERE. I plan on ruining their reputation SO much they will have to close their highway robbery business.

KARMA!!! HAHA!!

Oh by the way they are called VANTAGE ACCEPTANCE.

DON'T TRUST THEM!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Thank you, Jennifer and Innerzone! I deeply appreciate the sentiments. I know you'd both do whatever you could if we'd lived nearby. You each brighten my day by simply sharing about your lives. I am so very grateful for your support during this very trying time.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Had a real bad couple of days.

Reported my professor for being useless and all over the place, cause he well, IS.

Found out I was robbed $1200 from a Debt Consolidation company that's supposed to HELP not STEAL from people who are struggling. Had a total nervous breakdown and felt dizzy and almost fainted today due to the stress.

Hopefully tomorrow is better.

Hi LadyShadow!
I am so happy to see you! I am so sorry about all you have been through. I hope you can follow-up in small claims court. Who needs the headache!? I hope things work out for you!

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi LadyShadow!
I am so happy to see you! I am so sorry about all you have been through. I hope you can follow-up in small claims court. Who needs the headache!? I hope things work out for you!

Hey WC!!

Hope you've been well my friend! I know, I was in tears for like two days. It's awful what they do to poor people who are in debt trouble. Total extortion!!

But thanks, I am certainly going to small claims and then ruining their reputation. They don't deserve to be in business after what they've done.

Hope you're good tonight!!

[Daonnachd]

Hey, all.
Some of you will recall I work in a cemetery. Well, today I had a mother and daughter come in to sign off on a contract. In the course of conversation I learned the doctors are giving the mother 4-5 months to live. I feel compassion for both of them, but I also feel like it sort of puts things in perspective for me. Bipolar can be quite rough, but it's not 4-5 months.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Hey, all.
Some of you will recall I work in a cemetery. Well, today I had a mother and daughter come in to sign off on a contract. In the course of conversation I learned the doctors are giving the mother 4-5 months to live. I feel compassion for both of them, but I also feel like it sort of puts things in perspective for me. Bipolar can be quite rough, but it's not 4-5 months.

It's true! Thanks for helping to put things into perspective.
I hope you are feeling okay.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

It's true! Thanks for helping to put things into perspective.
I hope you are feeling okay.

I'm doing fair enough. Thanks for the hug.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Hey WC!!

Hope you've been well my friend! I know, I was in tears for like two days. It's awful what they do to poor people who are in debt trouble. Total extortion!!

But thanks, I am certainly going to small claims and then ruining their reputation. They don't deserve to be in business after what they've done.

Hope you're good tonight!!

You've brightened my night!
I get very concerned when you are away too long! I try to get a grip because sometimes you've been away and thriving!!!
You know I love you! I can't help it!

[TheSeaCat]

Hi all quick check in since tonight I am couch ridden. Every so often about every 2-3 months I will move just right and tweak me knee and have to give up the heels, chill with a heating pad, and take whatever prescription my doctor deems appropriate for it. I am pretty sure it's an old injury from cheerleading and every so often it wants to flare up. Doc decided to x-ray it after work to make sure it's not an old bone break; or the beginning of some form of arthritis, it wasn't any of them and the x-ray of my knee was perfect so he reasons it's tendinitis that flares up when it so chooses to. He told me to avoid heels for at least of the week, take the medication he gave for pain relief starting tomorrow, and do what I typically do when it acts up. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm an active person, which means that this could have been caused by anything I do on a day to day basis. Oh well it usually goes away as quickly as it showed up.

Other than my angry knee, I am doing okay slowly counting down the days until my vacation. It needs to hurry up and get here .

[Wander]

Not much happening. Feel the need to rest so have been laying low. Treating myself to a few beers tonight. I rarely drink. Feeling buzzed. A nice break from the grind.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi Blue!
I think tapering your med is a great idea!
I hope it works out for you!

Thanks WC

It's working out well for me so far. No problems whatsoever. I'm just sick of being drugged up.

I know if I told this to my pdoc, he would flip, BUT I've never been given the chance to stay off an AP for a while to see how things go. I've always gone off cold turkey and had withdrawals. So hopefully this time, I won't have any withdrawals (or that they'll be minimal). I'm expecting 3-4 months until my head is clear again.