Originally Posted by Dysphoria

After feeling awful for several months, being hospitalized, and wanting to harm myself, I am finally feeling better - if not good - after getting on a new med. Hopefully this med continues to work with minimal side effects. I am still on the starter dose.

I'm so glad to read that you are feeling a lot better, Dysphoria! It's so nice to see you back.

I have also had a pretty good improvement from just a starter dose. Latuda is the one that I'm referring to.

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’ve been sick for two days with a summer cold. Half the people in my class were hacking and sneezing so I guess it was inevitable. Still miserable though. Not sure if I’m going to make it to work tomorrow. Depends on how I feel when I wake up. Right now it’s in my chest not my head but I have a slight headache as well. Sucks.

I had to get a new phone as my old one wouldn’t hold a charge anymore. Can’t really afford it but I can’t really afford to be unreachable during the day because my phone is dead either. I get too nervous about my son getting sick or hurt at camp or school. So I now have an iPhone XR. Not too much more per month.

I made it to the second round of interviews for that teaching job! I had to provide five references. I hope they all complete it. It’s an online form. The only one I didn’t directly contact was one of my co teachers. I’ll text her if she doesn’t complete it soon.

How are you feeling this morning, wildchildflower? I hope better than you feared. My husband and I agree that when people are sick (especially with something contagious) it is best to stay home to recover, in most cases.

I'm still waiting for the counter measuring people to arrive. They should arrive soon. They called my hubby and said they'd be here before 11 am.

I am having such a hankering for breakfast food. Every single morning I have to get up before 7 am and prepare breakfast for my husband and myself, but I don't often make certain things (waffles, egg dishes) because I am so hungry that I put the quickest possible things on the table. Even on the weekend. I do like to make breakfast cakes in advance, but a good pork roll egg and cheese on a roll would be a nice treat. Maybe I'll go to the diner for lunch. They make breakfast all day long. I have a diner only a couple minutes away, but I refuse to give them my business, for various reasons. I have to drive a good 20 mins further down the road.

[Daonnachd]

Off to get ECT this morning.

[Jedi67]

mood is good today. slept well. took a KPin later in the evening and I'm still feeling the effects this morning I think. feel clear, lucid and focused. no anxiety or panic to speak of. I'm actually going to have some coffee which I have been avoiding lately because of my anxiety. looking to relax and enjoy some me time today. just haven't decided what to do lol. hope everyone is doing well!

[Sunflower123]

Good morning. I haven’t been checking in but I have been reading the responses. I send warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I’m doing well aside from a few minor things. I have a pinched nerve in both my elbow and my neck that need surgery. The one in my elbow is giving me much grief.

I haven’t done anything about the elbow because I didn’t want to miss Florida or one day at the pool. I don’t want the expense of the surgery copay or the bother either. Don’t know how much longer I can hold out. It is bothering me.

Also worried that despite three cleanings a year and meticulous care, a cavity has crept through. It’s big enough that I can feel it. How did they not catch that? They can’t see me until August 7th. I’m really anxious about that and the possibility of a root canal.

Still floating in the pool every day that I can. Attending drum circles monthly and $5 Tuesday movie nights. Tomorrow night, mom and I are going to church to make prayer beads. I am looking forward to that. My daughter made me a beautiful set of jade and sea foam colored prayer beads for my birthday.

My life coach got down to brass tacks with me today about some of my limiting self beliefs and habits. She gave me exercises to do and asked me to report in every day so we can straighten out my thoughts. This will be incredibly hard to change but the pay off will impact every area of my life. Wish me luck please!

Wishing everyone a peaceful Monday.

Well, some asshole on eBay sold me a defective item even though he said it was working perfectly. I paid almost $50 for it, so I filed a return request for a defective item. It was obvious the item was defective the minute I opened the package, but I tested it anyway to make double sure it was defective -- and it was. It wasn't damage from transit, either. It was literally missing pieces on it.

Otherwise, doing alright I guess. Just bummed and pissed at the same time with me wasting $50 on something useless. I'm also pretty tired and could go for a nap right about now.

Hope everyone else has had a good day today.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

How are you feeling this morning, wildchildflower? I hope better than you feared. My husband and I agree that when people are sick (especially with something contagious) it is best to stay home to recover, in most cases.

I feel much better today, thank you! I still have a cough but in my experience the cough lasts for weeks after the cold is gone so I’m not too worried about it.

[wildflowerchild25]

RS is soooo great to me! I had a flat tire this morning (swerved around someone making a **** move and hit the curb) so I called him because he had taken off from work and he came right over and changed it for me. Then he came to my job and put two new front tires on while I was working because my other one was balding. THEN he went out and got me new brakes because he noticed that they were getting low. He’s going to put them on on Saturday. I am so lucky to have him!!!

Today was rather uneventful at work, except one of the boys in the class got upset about all the noise and got up and slapped another student. HARD too. Left a handprint on the Student’s back. Poor kid never saw it coming. And he wasn’t even the one making noise. But the slapper knew he would get jacked up by the noisy kid so he chose the innocent one. He had to eat lunch in the quiet room. Other than that not much went on. My girl was extra happy today.

We went out for barbecue for dinner. It was good. I gotta cook tomorrow though which I don’t want to do because I’m lazy lol. But whatever.

I'm feeling great! I've been working out every day for the past few days, today I went for a long drive just for the thrill of driving on the highway, and I have paint on my arm and who knows how that got there (I do and it wasn't from me). I skipped my depakote this morning which is probably why I don't want to off myself, although I know it's going to screw everything up for my pdoc appointment this week if she wants to get more blood work.

[yellow_fleurs]

Spikes do you think the depakote is making you that depressed? Does you pdoc know?

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Wander

Thanks. I think my depression is a response to the bad PTSD and mixed episode I was in. My brain chemistry is hopefully settling down. My poor brain had a rough ride.

This afternoon I’m going over my partners for the night, then parents for a night. My partner has been busy so it will be great seeing him. My parents are wonderful but trigger my PTSD so that will be harder. I don’t want to cut ties with them. They are my major support and take responsibility for their failures in the past. I am hoping once my PTSD shuts down I will feel fine around them again..

Sorry I’m not responding to others posts. I’m just too overwhelmed most of the time and my concentration is bad.

Your situation sounds tough, I hope your brain chemistry does settle down soon.

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Spikes do you think the depakote is making you that depressed? Does you pdoc know?

I think so since if I don't take it I feel okay that day and if I do take it... well, I've written enough about being there. My pdoc doesn't know, I've only had one appointment with her so far and it was your regular intake stuff where you just answer a bunch of questions about your history. I did get some blood work done to see if my levels were too high/if it's wrecking my liver though.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Good morning. I haven’t been checking in but I have been reading the responses. I send warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I’m doing well aside from a few minor things. I have a pinched nerve in both my elbow and my neck that need surgery. The one in my elbow is giving me much grief.

I haven’t done anything about the elbow because I didn’t want to miss Florida or one day at the pool. I don’t want the expense of the surgery copay or the bother either. Don’t know how much longer I can hold out. It is bothering me.

Also worried that despite three cleanings a year and meticulous care, a cavity has crept through. It’s big enough that I can feel it. How did they not catch that? They can’t see me until August 7th. I’m really anxious about that and the possibility of a root canal.

Still floating in the pool every day that I can. Attending drum circles monthly and $5 Tuesday movie nights. Tomorrow night, mom and I are going to church to make prayer beads. I am looking forward to that. My daughter made me a beautiful set of jade and sea foam colored prayer beads for my birthday.

My life coach got down to brass tacks with me today about some of my limiting self beliefs and habits. She gave me exercises to do and asked me to report in every day so we can straighten out my thoughts. This will be incredibly hard to change but the pay off will impact every area of my life. Wish me luck please!

Wishing everyone a peaceful Monday.

Hi!

Did the EMG identify those two pinched nerves? I think I recall you'd had an EMG done not so long ago?

I have had nerve compression, specifically the ulnar nerve. I had a subcutaneous ulnar nerve transposition. It was 15 years ago now.

I am sorry you have these nerve compressions.

I do understand the anxiety around dental work. I need some work and am trying to get it done before it's "too late."

I have noticed you have not been as active here the past few days. Good to hear from you!

I am glad you are enJOYing benefits from working with your life coach!

Always good to hear from you!!!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by spikes

I think so since if I don't take it I feel okay that day and if I do take it... well, I've written enough about being there. My pdoc doesn't know, I've only had one appointment with her so far and it was your regular intake stuff where you just answer a bunch of questions about your history. I did get some blood work done to see if my levels were too high/if it's wrecking my liver though.

Gotcha. In that case I hope you and your new pdoc are able to figure something out with your meds so you can feel better!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by spikes

I think so since if I don't take it I feel okay that day and if I do take it... well, I've written enough about being there. My pdoc doesn't know, I've only had one appointment with her so far and it was your regular intake stuff where you just answer a bunch of questions about your history. I did get some blood work done to see if my levels were too high/if it's wrecking my liver though.

I get very depressed on Depakote.
If you do, too, I hope you will tell your pdoc and will find something that works well for you.

[Wild Coyote]

I am weary. I keep having rough nights. I sleep very little. When I do sleep, I have dreams about an "intruder." The intruder does all kinds of things, from stealing pictures from my laptop, to stealing all of my meds, etc. Quite a nuisance, this intruder! It is rather odd because I have just put in a new security system here. Good luck to any 3D intruder!

In a lot of pain today. Hoping it will calm down so I can get some sleep before the intruder visits again.

I hope everyone has a peaceful night.
Love to all~

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Good morning. I haven’t been checking in but I have been reading the responses. I send warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.


I’m doing well aside from a few minor things. I have a pinched nerve in both my elbow and my neck that need surgery. The one in my elbow is giving me much grief.


I haven’t done anything about the elbow because I didn’t want to miss Florida or one day at the pool. I don’t want the expense of the surgery copay or the bother either. Don’t know how much longer I can hold out. It is bothering me.


Also worried that despite three cleanings a year and meticulous care, a cavity has crept through. It’s big enough that I can feel it. How did they not catch that? They can’t see me until August 7th. I’m really anxious about that and the possibility of a root canal.


Still floating in the pool every day that I can. Attending drum circles monthly and $5 Tuesday movie nights. Tomorrow night, mom and I are going to church to make prayer beads. I am looking forward to that. My daughter made me a beautiful set of jade and sea foam colored prayer beads for my birthday.


My life coach got down to brass tacks with me today about some of my limiting self beliefs and habits. She gave me exercises to do and asked me to report in every day so we can straighten out my thoughts. This will be incredibly hard to change but the pay off will impact every area of my life. Wish me luck please!


Wishing everyone a peaceful Monday.

I’m so sorry your struggling with pinched nerves, that’s so painful. I understand about not wanting surgery in general but then to have the bill to deal with after is just as traumatic.

What a lovely gift from your daughter

Oh dental, I finally have a wonderful dentist after being traumatized by so many, he has never once hurt me. I have a tooth that I really need to get looked at. One more expense.

Is your LC helping ? I think we all need a push or sometimes a shove to deal with feelings about ourselves.

Sending you good thoughts

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

RS is soooo great to me! I had a flat tire this morning (swerved around someone making a **** move and hit the curb) so I called him because he had taken off from work and he came right over and changed it for me. Then he came to my job and put two new front tires on while I was working because my other one was balding. THEN he went out and got me new brakes because he noticed that they were getting low. He’s going to put them on on Saturday. I am so lucky to have him!!!


Today was rather uneventful at work, except one of the boys in the class got upset about all the noise and got up and slapped another student. HARD too. Left a handprint on the Student’s back. Poor kid never saw it coming. And he wasn’t even the one making noise. But the slapper knew he would get jacked up by the noisy kid so he chose the innocent one. He had to eat lunch in the quiet room. Other than that not much went on. My girl was extra happy today.


We went out for barbecue for dinner. It was good. I gotta cook tomorrow though which I don’t want to do because I’m lazy lol. But whatever.

I’m so happy that RS was able to help you!!! Yes new tires were needed and brakes too boot!!! My husband does all that stuff he’s saved us so much money knowing how to do repairs.

Hopefully the other kids will have more self control tomorrow.

Oh yes the dreaded left over cough, literally weeks it can drag on. I hope yours clears up sooner.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am weary. I keep having rough nights. I sleep very little. When I do sleep, I have dreams about an "intruder." The intruder does all kinds of things, from stealing pictures from my laptop, to stealing all of my meds, etc. Quite a nuisance, this intruder! It is rather odd because I have just put in a new security system here. Good luck to any 3D intruder!


In a lot of pain today. Hoping it will calm down so I can get some sleep before the intruder visits again.


I hope everyone has a peaceful night.

Love to all~

I so wish your dreams would pick more pleasant topics

I’m not surprised it’s happening with the shyt storm situation going on.

Ahh the pain. As if your not struggling with enough. I do have my Harry Potter wand shall I start babbling spells and see if it helps !! lol oh how I wish it were true!
Hugs!!

Originally Posted by spikes

I think so since if I don't take it I feel okay that day and if I do take it... well, I've written enough about being there. My pdoc doesn't know, I've only had one appointment with her so far and it was your regular intake stuff where you just answer a bunch of questions about your history. I did get some blood work done to see if my levels were too high/if it's wrecking my liver though.

I am usually very reluctant to bad mouth medications, because I know they affect different people differently. I will say that Depakote ER was not at all a friendly medication for me. I took it in conjunction with Invega (paliperidone). The mix definitely ended what was a multi-year bout of severe manias, most mixed with psychosis. However, on that combo I also experienced my longest and severest pure depression. I reached my highest weight ever (eating Reese's peanut butter cups daily, even though my sense of taste was actually lessened). I was so depressed that I agreed to ECT. I became pre-diabetic, and had high cholesterol and high triglycerides. I was on the verge of metabolic syndrome. I also suspected I was beginning to develop polycystic ovarian syndrome (POS), a syndrome that some women can get when on medications, especially Depakote. That syndrome's symptoms can be quite distressing. I also had terrible physical results from Invega (hyperprolactinemia and a pituitary microadenoma that if bigger, would have required a type of brain surgery). They were the medication combo from hell, for me. I often call Depakote "Depressakote". If I had to submit two medications for a "most hated medications ever" list, I would submit Depakote and Invega. That's pretty bad considering all of the side effects I got from Lithium, including kidney damage and hypothyroidism. Lithium would be my third worst.

If Depakote clearly seems to make you depressed, do talk to your psychiatrist about it. There are other moodstabilizers that could be better options. For me, Tegretol XR is a million times more pleasant. So is Lamictal. I do realize that many people benefit greatly from Depakote and Invega,, and also Lithium, and even have few side effects.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am weary. I keep having rough nights. I sleep very little. When I do sleep, I have dreams about an "intruder." The intruder does all kinds of things, from stealing pictures from my laptop, to stealing all of my meds, etc. Quite a nuisance, this intruder! It is rather odd because I have just put in a new security system here. Good luck to any 3D intruder!

In a lot of pain today. Hoping it will calm down so I can get some sleep before the intruder visits again.

I hope everyone has a peaceful night.
Love to all~

I honestly don’t know how you’re still standing. I sincerely hope you get some good, bone deep rest soon and that the pain eases. Thinking of you.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I’m so sorry your struggling with pinched nerves, that’s so painful. I understand about not wanting surgery in general but then to have the bill to deal with after is just as traumatic.

What a lovely gift from your daughter

Oh dental, I finally have a wonderful dentist after being traumatized by so many, he has never once hurt me. I have a tooth that I really need to get looked at. One more expense.

Is your LC helping ? I think we all need a push or sometimes a shove to deal with feelings about ourselves.

Sending you good thoughts

Thank you for your response. You are a such a kind kind person.

The life coach is helping quite a bit. It’s forcing me to look into things that are tripping me up.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi!

Did the EMG identify those two pinched nerves? I think I recall you'd had an EMG done not so long ago?

I have had nerve compression, specifically the ulnar nerve. I had a subcutaneous ulnar nerve transposition. It was 15 years ago now.

I am sorry you have these nerve compressions.

I do understand the anxiety around dental work. I need some work and am trying to get it done before it's "too late."

I have noticed you have not been as active here the past few days. Good to hear from you!

I am glad you are enJOYing benefits from working with your life coach!

Always good to hear from you!!!

Hello!

Yes, the EMG identified those pinched nerves but we were going to leave them alone as long as they didn’t bother me. Wwweeelll.

Yeah. Dental work. What fun.

You are always such a lovely person. I appreciate your response and you.

[Victoria'smom]

Well my son might drop a class and choice not to get his AA. I'm fine with that he has time but he's refusing to call and talk about it and the paperwork has to be in tomorrow. I sent more paperwork for admissions and scheduled a school tour for Monday at a different school. I still have chores to do before he gets here tomorrow.