I'm starting to feel a little better from my mixed episode. I want to thank Alice in Chains and Seether for surviving that ****. I forgot my meds this morning so I think I'll just skip them (oops). I saw my therapist yesterday and she said it's likely I can go on the injectable for invega. I see my doctor in a couple weeks so hopefully that'll happen and I can lower the zyprexa or depakote a little more. It'll be good to find out what my depakote levels are too, I had the blood work a few days ago. I'm thinking about getting a gym membership so I have somewhere to go and something to do and get in shape all at the same time. I really need to lose a few pounds (or 50).

[wildflowerchild25]

So I think my job interview went well but we shall see. I hope it did. I would love to work there.

No nightmares last night thank goodness. I know I had weird dreams but I can’t remember them. Just as well.

I see my t today and will talk about the nightmares.

Other than that all is well!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Congratulations Nevvy!

[Jedi67]

seeing my PDoc this Friday for my increasing anxiety and panic attacks. also my sleep has been bad. I called to get an earlier sit down with him because I couldn't wait till September. I think my buspar has run it's course and I'm going to ask him to redo my meds. I need something to help me sleep that I haven't tried before. I know for a fact though that he won't prescribe any benzos but who knows. my sleep is awful and anxiety is thru the roof. glad to see many doing well!

[tecomsin]

I read a long thread I wrote ages ago on a different forum.

Well, I didn't get all the way to the end of it before getting sick to my stomach watching my descent into madness. I lost my sanity in the breakup with a pathological liar. I ended up being hospitalized for 3 or 4 weeks.

I still remember the betrayal I felt when I realized that the stories he had told me of his personal history were all made up. I can see how i overintellectualized everything and did not take the good advise I got which was to extricate myself as quickly as possible from that relationship. Instead it took me several years, and it ended with him dumping me for another woman and me in the hospital.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I read a long thread I wrote ages ago on a different forum.

Well, I didn't get all the way to the end of it before getting sick to my stomach watching my descent into madness. I lost my sanity in the breakup with a pathological liar. I ended up being hospitalized for 3 or 4 weeks.

I still remember the betrayal I felt when I realized that the stories he had told me of his personal history were all made up. I can see how i overintellectualized everything and did not take the good advise I got which was to extricate myself as quickly as possible from that relationship. Instead it took me several years, and it ended with him dumping me for another woman and me in the hospital.

So sorry it turned out this way dear friend! You know it may not seem like it now, but being hospitalized was the push you needed to get rid of him and now move on with your life. I say that only because my life is completely different than it was before I got hospitalized last year. Being hospitalized, taught me that I needed somethings in my life to change and has pushed me to start looking toward a new career and a new chapter in my life.

I am glad you got rid of him, now hopefully you can move on to better things.

[Scooter9]

My cat is gone.

We were all with him and had a chance to say farewell.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nevvy

Got the joooooob

They pushed me through past the second interview, directly to signing the contract.... At some point. I first have to go through and extensive background check, not a problem, just long.

I feel pretty okay, concerned about this job in relation to my swiss cheese brain, but I'm rather optimistic and I have post-its and notebooks that can help.

But it's too hot out and I'm sweating a lot... Last time this lead to toxicity and getting all hypo, so that could mess it all up.

But I'm optimistic!

Congratulations!!!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

So sorry Scooter. I've been there and it's awful but it sounds like her quality of life was decreasing and so you did a kind and unselfish thing.

[Sunflower123]

It’s been quiet on the homefront. Been floating in the pool when I could (lots of rain) and checking things off my to do list when I couldn’t. Heading out soon with friends to go to the $5 movies.

I’m doing well. Stable. I’ll take it.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

[Victoria'smom]

I live in my head and it's a mess right now. I'm a mess right now. I don't have words to explain it. I'm sensitive and on the verge of crying for days, cried onces. I'm tense as hell and have so much nervous energy I can't lay down and relax. I have a week to get my **** together. I don't know what to do. I don't have a T and I don't see pdoc for 7 weeks. When alone my thoughts are dark and it doesn't help my husband's sleeping until 1 pm and I get up at 7 am. Self harm is in the front of my mind most days. It sounds like a perfect solution. This is so uncomfortable. I often feel I'm screaming for help but look perfectly fine.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

So sorry it turned out this way dear friend! You know it may not seem like it now, but being hospitalized was the push you needed to get rid of him and now move on with your life. I say that only because my life is completely different than it was before I got hospitalized last year. Being hospitalized, taught me that I needed somethings in my life to change and has pushed me to start looking toward a new career and a new chapter in my life.

I am glad you got rid of him, now hopefully you can move on to better things.

Thanks LadyShadow. Good to hear you are looking for ways to move on toward a new and healthy chapter in life. I had two breakdowns through a paranoid psychosis based on the lies this person had told me about their personal life history. The second was more than 2 years from when I last had contact with this person and was in 2017. I believed they had wired my house and were spying on me day and night as well as making bangs and clicks noises in my house to the point that I couldn't sleep. These were all auditory hallucinations.

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My cat is gone.

We were all with him and had a chance to say farewell.

I send you condolences for your loss Scooter9. Your cat lived a good life, was loved and died in peace.

[Moose72]

Listening to Bach organ pieces on LP. Relaxing. Ate dinner. Cleaned more.

Scooter

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I read a long thread I wrote ages ago on a different forum.

Well, I didn't get all the way to the end of it before getting sick to my stomach watching my descent into madness. I lost my sanity in the breakup with a pathological liar. I ended up being hospitalized for 3 or 4 weeks.

I still remember the betrayal I felt when I realized that the stories he had told me of his personal history were all made up. I can see how i overintellectualized everything and did not take the good advise I got which was to extricate myself as quickly as possible from that relationship. Instead it took me several years, and it ended with him dumping me for another woman and me in the hospital.

Hi tecomsin,

Betrayals can be very toxic, as you know, and as I am finding out.
I agree it's best to get out asap, if it is feasible. I have found the liar keeps on lying and this, to me, is toxic.

It is also very stressful. I have a fair amount of support to help keep me thinking in a healthy way. Much of my support is right here at PC.

As you also know, the hospital can be very helpful when we need it.
I am very sorry you went through this. It's a horrible experience!

Much Love to You!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

It’s been quiet on the homefront. Been floating in the pool when I could (lots of rain) and checking things off my to do list when I couldn’t. Heading out soon with friends to go to the $5 movies.

I’m doing well. Stable. I’ll take it.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I am very happy for you!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My cat is gone.

We were all with him and had a chance to say farewell.

Oh, scooter!

It's a blessing you were all able to be together.
Your cat is now at peace.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nevvy

Got the joooooob

They pushed me through past the second interview, directly to signing the contract.... At some point. I first have to go through and extensive background check, not a problem, just long.

I feel pretty okay, concerned about this job in relation to my swiss cheese brain, but I'm rather optimistic and I have post-its and notebooks that can help.

But it's too hot out and I'm sweating a lot... Last time this lead to toxicity and getting all hypo, so that could mess it all up.

But I'm optimistic!

Congrats, Nevvy!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by spikes

I'm starting to feel a little better from my mixed episode. I want to thank Alice in Chains and Seether for surviving that ****. I forgot my meds this morning so I think I'll just skip them (oops). I saw my therapist yesterday and she said it's likely I can go on the injectable for invega. I see my doctor in a couple weeks so hopefully that'll happen and I can lower the zyprexa or depakote a little more. It'll be good to find out what my depakote levels are too, I had the blood work a few days ago. I'm thinking about getting a gym membership so I have somewhere to go and something to do and get in shape all at the same time. I really need to lose a few pounds (or 50).

Wow! I sense a remarkable difference. Just wonderful!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I live in my head and it's a mess right now. I'm a mess right now. I don't have words to explain it. I'm sensitive and on the verge of crying for days, cried onces. I'm tense as hell and have so much nervous energy I can't lay down and relax. I have a week to get my **** together. I don't know what to do. I don't have a T and I don't see pdoc for 7 weeks. When alone my thoughts are dark and it doesn't help my husband's sleeping until 1 pm and I get up at 7 am. Self harm is in the front of my mind most days. It sounds like a perfect solution. This is so uncomfortable. I often feel I'm screaming for help but look perfectly fine.

Hi MM!

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.

What happens in a week?

How can you get outside of your head?
What can you do to discharge the nervous energy?
Any chance you can go for a walk with your hubby?

Any chance you and hubby can agree to a household schedule in which everyone gets up by a certain time? If either of you were in the hospital, you would have to get up and be dressed by a certain time, so why not do this for yourselves without having to go to the hospital?

Are you using CBT/DBT skills each day?

What helps?

Are you balancing chores with some FUN?

Thinking of you and your family ~

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Listening to Bach organ pieces on LP. Relaxing. Ate dinner. Cleaned more.

Sounds great!

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi tecomsin,

Betrayals can be very toxic, as you know, and as I am finding out.
I agree it's best to get out asap, if it is feasible. I have found the liar keeps on lying and this, to me, is toxic.

It is also very stressful. I have a fair amount of support to help keep me thinking in a healthy way. Much of my support is right here at PC.

As you also know, the hospital can be very helpful when we need it.
I am very sorry you went through this. It's a horrible experience!

Much Love to You!

I also wish you and the care of people close to you to help you get through the betrayal your husband has put you through. You seem to have a firm foundation and a lot of people who care about you. I hope in some small way to be able to help you too as you begin rebuilding your life step by step.

At the time I was on my own. I only joined PC after my last episode in 2017. Even though I had been no contact with my ex for more than 2 years at that point, I still constructed a paranoid psychosis based on the lies he told me about his personal history. He really screwed with my mind. I thought not only had he bugged my house to spy on me but he was manipulating my environment by making bangs and clicking sounds to keep me awake all night and all through the day too. It was a very intrusive psychosis that I had.

I am thankful that taking a little pill of Rexulti 1mg keeps these kind of paranoid thoughts and hallucinations at bay.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I also wish you and the care of people close to you to help you get through the betrayal your husband has put you through. You seem to have a firm foundation and a lot of people who care about you. I hope in some small way to be able to help you too as you begin rebuilding your life step by step.

At the time I was on my own. I only joined PC after my last episode in 2017. Even though I had been no contact with my ex for more than 2 years at that point, I still constructed a paranoid psychosis based on the lies he told me about his personal history. He really screwed with my mind. I thought not only had he bugged my house to spy on me but he was manipulating my environment by making bangs and clicking sounds to keep me awake all night and all through the day too. It was a very intrusive psychosis that I had.

I am thankful that taking a little pill of Rexulti 1mg keeps these kind of paranoid thoughts and hallucinations at bay.

Thank you, tecomsin!

You do help me. You often share about you life. You offer "words of wisdom" and share insights. I find this very supportive! I am so glad you are here and also glad I have been able to interact with you!

I am thankful, too, for the meds I do find helpful!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Scooter. Hugs

[Victoria'smom]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Hi MM!

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.

What happens in a week?

How can you get outside of your head?
What can you do to discharge the nervous energy?
Any chance you can go for a walk with your hubby?

Any chance you and hubby can agree to a household schedule in which everyone gets up by a certain time? If either of you were in the hospital, you would have to get up and be dressed by a certain time, so why not do this for yourselves without having to go to the hospital?

Are you using CBT/DBT skills each day?

What helps?

Are you balancing chores with some FUN?

Thinking of you and your family ~

Miguel gets home in a week. I need to do art, I just don't want to. I keep putting it off. I'm not doing anything right now chores wise. I haven't showered, changed, or done my hair in days (maybe a week). I get up drag myself to the couch because if I stay laying there my anxiety spikes with all these long off concerns and things I can't do anything about. Then I sit on here trying to read and respond but fail. Eventually I eat (toast), take dinner out, and start the long process of waking my husband up every hour until he gets up. Then we eat and I go back to sitting on the computer until dinner and then wait here for when I can finally go to bed.

I don't want to ask my husband to do anything. I don't want anything negative and he's not well either. Last time I tried to actually talk to him he made me cry and feel shittier. I'm not over that yet.

I need to make a schedule and try and stick with it. I'm failing at daily life.

I'm trying to tell myself things I think are untrue but other then that I'm not really doing anything. I don't even write.

My mind goes to non-helpful "helpful" stuff that I shouldn't do.

Nothing is balanced right now.

Thank-you,

ETA: Sorry Scooter9