Bipolar check in #37

I picked a bad time to get my second shingles shot. Feel like crap and may have to fight with my pnurse to get out of jury duty. My old pdoc had no problem writing the notes, but my pnurse hasn’t seen me having panic attacks before. Plus I don’t know if my agoraphobia is in my records. Will have to drop off paperwork Monday morning and see T in the afternoon. I just need to rest but have things to do. Husband would help but he’s not as good a cook as I am. We’re both having trouble sleeping at the moment. I’ll get through it.

Feeling a bit guilty about writing yet again that I feel well. It’s another beautiful day. DH is home because it’s Saturday. All is right in my world for now. I hope I can stay stable.

Feeling a bit guilty about writing yet again that I feel well. It’s another beautiful day. DH is home because it’s Saturday. All is right in my world for now. I hope I can stay stable.

I picked a bad time to get my second shingles shot. Feel like crap and may have to fight with my pnurse to get out of jury duty. My old pdoc had no problem writing the notes, but my pnurse hasn’t seen me having panic attacks before. Plus I don’t know if my agoraphobia is in my records. Will have to drop off paperwork Monday morning and see T in the afternoon. I just need to rest but have things to do. Husband would help but he’s not as good a cook as I am. We’re both having trouble sleeping at the moment. I’ll get through it.

I took a few days off from work and managed to do a couple of nice things mixed with just spending quiet time in bed. I desperately needed the break and felt I had to do it for my mental health. I somehow feel unworthy at this job and feel a tremendous amount of anxiety. I've been there since April and never fully adjusted. I need the money badly, but I feel that if I didn't take these few days off, then I would be at my breaking point. So I don't know what's going to happen when I go back. I'm hoping I will be able to hold it together, but I'm questioning a lot of things, like if it is really worth it.

I think I'm heading up. I didn't have my summer hypo or mania and I hope I'm not paying now. I was seeing bugs on the wall in my bathroom a little while ago. Yesterday I was sure someone was killing my mom and taking her body to hide. That's the kind of thinking that starts bad things. I feel really wound up.

Tomorrow my nieces are coming. I've not really seen them for a few months because we were afraid my GI issues were contagious so I stayed away. I went to their birthday party but there are too many people there to really see them. So I don't want to be flying high and having to try to control it when they are here.

My thoughts are racing from project to project. My therapist is on vacation next week and I always try to fill that week with activities. But I'm getting to the point I'll have too much to do it all.

I have that nasty antsy feeling too. I want to sleep but that's going to be interesting tonight.
t a minimum I hope I'm not seeing things tomorrow. Seeing bugs is usually in my bathroom. Once there was a lightning bug in there I was terrifed was recording me and sending it to 'them". It took a while to get grounded and convinced by a friend that the lightning bug was just doing his job.

Doing better in some ways. I just want to be independent and working.

Chest X-ray was clear as we suspected, just stubborn asthma taking its time to resolve in my left lung.

I’m doing labs Monday or Tuesday , must be off supplements for days so results will be most accurate.

Hugs and cookies to everyone ~

I picked a bad time to get my second shingles shot. Feel like crap and may have to fight with my pnurse to get out of jury duty. My old pdoc had no problem writing the notes, but my pnurse hasn’t seen me having panic attacks before. Plus I don’t know if my agoraphobia is in my records. Will have to drop off paperwork Monday morning and see T in the afternoon. I just need to rest but have things to do. Husband would help but he’s not as good a cook as I am. We’re both having trouble sleeping at the moment. I’ll get through it.

I'm a liar and just want to disappear. Why is being honest so hard for me? I'm not suicidal but I'm a liar. I haven't lied here but IRL. I'm so ****en Isolated. I isolate my husband and make him a liar. Everyone always thinks things are great here. The only one I'm semi honest with is H. I feel like shouting myself out to my family but that won't help anything.

We are home and settled after a few days at the campsite. I am exhausted after packing for the beach, driving there and back, unpacking and then packing and unpacking for a camping trip all in the same week. I just want to lay down and rest, but we have a visit with my mother in law this evening. She's wonderful, so it will be a nice visit. I just hope I can muster up the energy to enjoy it. Tomorrow is football day. I know I'll have a chance to relax while we watch the games. I also get to sleep in my own bed tonight. Yay!

I start my taper off Geodon tonight. I'll be taking 20mg every other night for two weeks and then every third night after that. I will gladly accept any prayers, well wishes, good vibes, etc. that anyone wants to throw my way. I have my support team in place and I am as ready as I can be to take this major step. I will eventually be med free and I'm nervous about it. Keeping myself and my family safe is my number one priority, so I am praying all will go well. Wish me luck!

It is wonderful to read about your devotion to your family!

I do wish you luck. I also offer good wishes, good vibes and prayer.
I really want to see you do well!

We are home and settled after a few days at the campsite. I am exhausted after packing for the beach, driving there and back, unpacking and then packing and unpacking for a camping trip all in the same week. I just want to lay down and rest, but we have a visit with my mother in law this evening. She's wonderful, so it will be a nice visit. I just hope I can muster up the energy to enjoy it. Tomorrow is football day. I know I'll have a chance to relax while we watch the games. I also get to sleep in my own bed tonight. Yay!

I start my taper off Geodon tonight. I'll be taking 20mg every other night for two weeks and then every third night after that. I will gladly accept any prayers, well wishes, good vibes, etc. that anyone wants to throw my way. I have my support team in place and I am as ready as I can be to take this major step. I will eventually be med free and I'm nervous about it. Keeping myself and my family safe is my number one priority, so I am praying all will go well. Wish me luck!

Really frustrated. I know I am hallucinating right now, and it sucks. I was doing just fine for the past week or so, and now I've regressed. The voices have returned... the same man and woman. They have been talking for a long time now... on and off.

Also, I've slept so much today. I went to bed at like 10pm and woke up at 5am, then took a 3 hr nap and now wish I could go back to sleep again. I think it's withdrawal from Ritalin. I didn't take it today. I was going to, but I couldn't remember if I actually took it or not, so I decided to do the safe thing and not take it so that I wouldn't accidentally OD. Turns out I didn't take it because I was not feeling the effects I normally get when I take it. Ugh.

Checking in. Helped out all day at a pool party full of energetic 12 and 13 year olds. Ready for some quiet time. Things are going well right now. Most grateful.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Sunday.

I picked a bad time to get my second shingles shot. Feel like crap and may have to fight with my pnurse to get out of jury duty. My old pdoc had no problem writing the notes, but my pnurse hasn’t seen me having panic attacks before. Plus I don’t know if my agoraphobia is in my records. Will have to drop off paperwork Monday morning and see T in the afternoon. I just need to rest but have things to do. Husband would help but he’s not as good a cook as I am. We’re both having trouble sleeping at the moment. I’ll get through it.

Feeling a bit guilty about writing yet again that I feel well. It’s another beautiful day. DH is home because it’s Saturday. All is right in my world for now. I hope I can stay stable.

We are home and settled after a few days at the campsite. I am exhausted after packing for the beach, driving there and back, unpacking and then packing and unpacking for a camping trip all in the same week. I just want to lay down and rest, but we have a visit with my mother in law this evening. She's wonderful, so it will be a nice visit. I just hope I can muster up the energy to enjoy it. Tomorrow is football day. I know I'll have a chance to relax while we watch the games. I also get to sleep in my own bed tonight. Yay!


I start my taper off Geodon tonight. I'll be taking 20mg every other night for two weeks and then every third night after that. I will gladly accept any prayers, well wishes, good vibes, etc. that anyone wants to throw my way. I have my support team in place and I am as ready as I can be to take this major step. I will eventually be med free and I'm nervous about it. Keeping myself and my family safe is my number one priority, so I am praying all will go well. Wish me luck!

Really frustrated. I know I am hallucinating right now, and it sucks. I was doing just fine for the past week or so, and now I've regressed. The voices have returned... the same man and woman. They have been talking for a long time now... on and off.


Also, I've slept so much today. I went to bed at like 10pm and woke up at 5am, then took a 3 hr nap and now wish I could go back to sleep again. I think it's withdrawal from Ritalin. I didn't take it today. I was going to, but I couldn't remember if I actually took it or not, so I decided to do the safe thing and not take it so that I wouldn't accidentally OD. Turns out I didn't take it because I was not feeling the effects I normally get when I take it. Ugh.

Checking in. Helped out all day at a pool party full of energetic 12 and 13 year olds. Ready for some quiet time. Things are going well right now. Most grateful.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Sunday.