Bipolar check in #37

Can you focus on your ESA dog? Obviously if something is up s/he would alert you.

Wrote down a list of “ grounding “ questions. Like “ do I actually hear anything out of the ordinary?? Check your heart rate if it’s elevate, start slow even deep breaths. Etc

Maybe set a timer on your phone so if you start to panic you can visually see how long will it be until H or Miguel will be home.

Play with your dog or give a full brush down. Your ESA needs more attention and of course that’s going to be a big distraction for you. Plus that’s why you have s/he of course.

How much coloring are you doing a day ?

How about research some simple recipes that you can make, there are so many super easy meals, that would certainly keep you busy. I’m making baked pasta ,boil pasta add a bottle of whatever brand sauce you like , add in cheese put in oven to melt cheese , 3 item and so easy. Branch out from just having chicken tenders

I think since your struggling getting the help you need from T you really have to buckle down and start making changes and goals on your own

What is your husband in school for ??? Certainly if he can get a job in that field will help your finances.

Are you jealous of him doing these school classes? Maybe it could motivate you to try things to be more independent? Just a thought.

So glad to hear thing have gone well and were relatively easy!
I hope all goes well for your mum with the antibiotics and her other meds.
Good idea they are checking on her again on Monday!

Hope you are doing okay? It can be taxing to take care of our loved ones, even when we want to do so.

That's really nice that there's a path they built, I would love that. I think part of my problem is I live in an urban area so there are always lots of people out and it makes me nervous and overwhelmed.

Thank you so much for your support, I hope you're doing well

Thanks SP, yeah I've been offline most of the day and also reading a lot, I ordered one of those anchor boxes you mentioned

I do understand the concerns with living in an urban area in this regard.
I have found it difficult to live in big cities. I feel very ungrounded.

It's always nice having exchanges with you!
Take good care!

When I was in grad school I went to the neatest urban counseling center. It was built in a pine forest in the middle of the city and all the offices were built so they had huge open windows looking out into the forest. It was a beautiful place. No path though although that would have made it perfect (except for the intern therapist who didn't know what to do with me).

Sounds very nice!

It looks like there's a lot going on for everybody. I wish I could share with all of you the brightness of my mind post-ECT. I'm quite lucky I'm feeling so good.

Do you see your Pdoc soon?

Don’t beat yourself up.. Bipolar can wreak hell on our lives at times

I think overtime you will see that there is no judgement here. We all “ get it”

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you

I hate having to go to the Er ! Such a long time as the triage patients not by arrival.

Hope things get sorted quickly for your mom.

Oh no ! I’m sorry things are just lousy for you today. Of course it’s possible to feel this way due to the decrease. But if I remember right you have done this small change before, could just be a heads up of a mood shift ? Oh I sure hope it’s not.

Will your Pdoc be back next week or the following ?

Take it easy tonight.

Much love

Glad you got out the Er , such a relief .. when I have to take my husband in I wear a mask. I don’t want to catch anything.

I’m glad your sister was able to get your drapes clean, I would Love to have one of those washers but so expensive.

How have you been sleeping ? Getting any? Fantastical Dreams ?

I'm getting light very interrupted sleep so no fantastic dreams although this morning between 6am and 9 I had a dream where I seemed to be at an Amish carnival! The rides were all made from wood and hand spun. I left my good black winter coat at one ride and my granddaughter at another ride, very weird

I live around a large Amish community so your dream of them having a carnival got me laughing.

I’m going to cross all my body parts that you get a deeper sleep tonight

Yeah I can't imagine them having a carnival!

]Can you focus on your ESA dog?[ I'm going to have to that and coloring

Wrote down a list of “ grounding “ questions. Like “ do I actually hear anything out of the ordinary?? Check your heart rate if it’s elevate, start slow even deep breaths. Etc I'll need to write and print a list of questions and quick techniques.

Maybe set a timer on your phone so if you start to panic you can visually see how long will it be until H or Miguel will be home. I can do that on short days but I'm unsure about long days.

Play with your dog or give a full brush down. Your ESA needs more attention and of course that’s going to be a big distraction for you. Plus that’s why you have s/he of course. I love playing with her

How much coloring are you doing a day ? I'm trying to color/art at least 3 hrs a day.

How about research some simple recipes That sounds fun. I'll have to feed myself anyway on nights he's gone. 3 ingredients meals sounds not very stressful.

B]What is your husband in school for ??? Certainly if he can get a job in that field will help your finances. computer management

Are you jealous of him doing these school classes? Maybe it could motivate you to try things to be more independent? Just a thoughtI don't think I'm jealous. I'm happy for him. I need to be more independent as it's affecting my quality of life/relationship.

My skills often go out the window when I get scared and I either sit on PC or hide. in bed

Thanks Christina!

I have so much going on, I cannot tell what is causing what.

Rough day with mother. She fell and has injured herself. She was very upset for a few hours.

Then had to deal with H, which was very trying. Same old troubled pattern at work. So very destructive. So simple to omit certain behaviors to begin with.. Tried to help him to realize this. I honestly don't think he cares to know. He is locked into a passive- aggressive pattern, where he has been stuck for many, many years now. He has never wanted to listen or to give it up.

Pdoc is gone for 2 more weeks.

Sorry about your mother WC. Falling can be traumatic especially if they are older. Mum fell last month and it really scared her. Hope your mum recovers soon.

WC, is she okay now?

I forgot to pick up my scripts! I only have enough through tomorrow. I'll have to skip all my meds Sunday. Except the extra Haldol that's separate.

Watching "The Founder".

She is sore. It will take time to heal.
Thanks for asking!

Thank you, Nammu!
She was very distressed. She was very subdued for the rest of the day. Seemed to have lost her confidence. Thanks, Nammu!

I hope your mother is ok WC.

Well, I took 6 showers in 7 days which is a really big improvement. I was down to 1 or 2 for a while.

I had a crazy day at work today. I had to talk to a lot of people on a day I was feeling really withdrawn. I'm glad it's over and looking forward to sleeping it off.