Bipolar check in #37

Doing okay. Watching another movie. Didn't do any work or read a book yesterday even though I desperately wanted to.

Only problem is that I didn’t take my meds last night. I fell asleep before I could remember to take them because I was exhausted from the previous day. I just wish I were more consistent with my meds. An alarm probably would've helped. I should start setting alarmsz

Anyway, I'm hoping today will be an overall good day for me. I have a lot of stuff to do this week. Should be very, very busy (unfortunately). I just hope the stress doesn't get to me, as I haven't been good at dealing with stress lately.

There's no way I would be able to take my meds correctly without an alarm. Go for it. It takes less than a minute to do. I haven't missed a dose.

Wishing you a low stress, but very productive week!

I have weekday and weekend alarms, and I use a special tone so it is distinctive. The Thames Television ident from the 70's and 80's will now be forever associated with psych meds.

I was very anxious and depressed yesterday, and today isn’t looking much better. I’m so anxious about my job. It’s so hard, much harder than I thought it would be. I’m so upset. I don’t know if I’ll ever get into the swing of things. I’m doubting all my abilities. I feel so overwhelmed.

I wish I could make as much money doing something else. Something less stressful. But I can’t. I think I just have to honor my contract, get through the year, and then make decisions then. I might be ok in a few weeks when I get better acquainted with the students and the school.

On top of this I really need to get to my doctor to get a blood test to check my blood sugar. I am thirsty all the time, I’m peeing like crazy, I’m hungry all the time, etc. all symptoms of diabetes. My dad and my uncle had type 1 diabetes but I’m likely to have type 2. It would be very unlikely for me to have type 1 so late in life. And maybe it’s nothing but I feel like I need to be checked. I am about 80lbs overweight so that’s a factor. The only problem is I don’t think my particular primary has evening hours. The office does, but it’s only for sick visits, not a general malaise. So I’m not sure how I’m going to get there. I also don’t have insurance until nov 1 so I have to wait anyway.

I hope everything’s ok. The last thing I need is to add a physical illness. I know many of you here deal with a boatload or physical illnesses on top of MI and it adds a lot of stress. I feel you guys!

I had used alarms, especially when I'd had some mid-day meds to take.
Now that I only have meds twice a day, I have been able to take them on time. I have some extra incentive, I think? I start withdrawing from pain meds if I miss my bedtime meds.It is very, very unpleasant and does not resolve for at least 18 hours after I make up the missed dose.

I would have a very difficult time remembering meds if I had a schedule as busy as yours.

I do think you will feel better, more stable, if you can follow through on taking all doses on time. If you do not feel better from doing so, this is important information, too.

I hope you can minimize unnecessary stress this week. Do protect yourself and only deal with necessary stress.

Take excellent care of yourself this week. Get enough sleep, enough water, enough nutrition, etc. You might have more stamina if you attend to all aspects of self-care. I need to do the same this week.

Much Love, Blue!

I am sorry you are feeling so stressed.

I wonder if you have ever looked into the Vocational Rehab program in your state? The program exists to train, or to re-train people who are experiencing difficulties in their current profession/positions. A lot of the funding is federal. Each state administers the program. Many of these offices also offer career testing as a part of the re-training, etc. Often, the federal funding pays for any further education/training needed. Just a thought.

If you feel you need lab(s) primarily, maybe let your PC doc know and maybe s/he will order lab(s) and will get back to you re: results and as to whether or not you need to be seen.

One of the things you can do is to eat as though you are already diabetic. I do this and I feel better and my blood glucose levels are much improved. I have also eliminated hypoglycemia by eating this way. The glucose highs and lows are now stabilized. (My labs come out great!)

I hope you find answers and start feeling better soon!

Thanks, Nammu! I appreciate you steering me in some direction on this! I look forward to reading, especially with the weather getting colder here.

Wow! It is wonderful you have gotten out!
What type of a museum?

i so enjoy most museums.

Why do you write you won't be going again?

I hope you are having a good day today!

It's nice to hear from you!

So sorry your back hurts you.
Are you able to see a physical therapist to help you?

I wonder how life is going for you when you are away for awhile.

Thanks, Christina. I know you go through much of the same. I am also sorry you are so often uncomfortable. So glad we have each other!
We will make it through!

Made pancakes and coffee this morning. Going cycling shortly. Handwashing a sinkfull of dishes when I'm back because our dishwasher is broken. Not sure what else the day will entail.

HI!
You are scaring me with your biking adventures!
When you are not here for a few days, I wonder if you have joined the OTBSC?
I hope not!

So glad you are having FUN!

I hope everything is okay with your health. I am glad you are getting it checked out so you can treat it if it is in fact diabetes.
I am sorry the job is stressful. I struggle a lot with self doubt in general and especially when feeling out of my element with a new job or something. I hope it gets easier with time for you.

I haven't tried one, but I have heard good things and considered it. Thanks for the reminder and suggestion. I think I'll check into it again.

I had a wonderful visit with M. Things had been strained and I was focused on getting back to our close relationship. Today went a long way towards that. She has noticed the changes as well and is happy for me and for herself having a well, positive mother. I’m thrilled. She cried when we said our goodbyes.

I’m going to work hard to make her fall break special and empowering as well.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful rest of your Sunday.

Often times I scare myself, too.

But what's OTBSC? Most likely when I'm not here for a few days it's just that I don't feel important enough to bother all o'yez. Right after ECT it seems I've got plenty to say though.

I had to look it up

Primal Wear OTBSC T-Shirt - Valley Bike & Ski Shop - Apple Valley, MN

I love it! I've gone over the bar numerous times. Even twice hit cars, once a dog. I'm thinking I ought to be president of that club.

Fern nailed it!
It's a bit of a trend for mountain bikers to wear their OTBSC shirts around here.

We all miss you! Why do you feel insignificant? Have we done (do we do) anything that supports your belief?

Ah, c'mon, you are a very important part of the whole here!
You have interesting perspectives, a lot of knowledge, a great sense of humor, are very compassionate, very supportive and much, much more!

I hope to see you around more, please?

I agree with WC! At least pop by and let us know you have all your limbs consistently Several of us were hoping you'd drop an update a little while back because we missed you.

Nobody said anything to make me feel insignificant. It was simply the result of a downward turn. You all know how it is when in depression. Your personal sense of worth takes a serious hit. That's all it was for me over the last few weeks.

Thank you, WC, for the encouragement. I will do my best to keep up a presence here.

It's really about whatever is best for you at any given time, of course.
I don't want to harass you into spending time here.
I feel like you add a lot and I miss you when you are not around.
Yet, again, it is about whatever is best for you!

I am unwinding a bit today. I did get some stuff done today so I will hopefully start my week off well. My boyfriend went home this morning. I had a good time, but also a rough couple of days. I think the change in routine, plus having a drink of beer maybe contributed? I got quickly depressed and more emotional after that beer, yikes. I don't always experience that but maybe it was too much. I am holding steady today, but feel anything could rock the boat. I am happy I did stuff anyways, though.
I have therapy tomorrow. I think I should decide in advance what I want to talk about. I should bring up ERP and see if that is something I can do in therapy. Happy Sunday and hope everyone had a good weekend and has a good week.

I don't drink anymore but I would get depressed even after 1 drink. Also it didn't mix well with my meds. One time I was severly depressed for an entire week because I drank. So I wouldn't be surprised if the drink effected you a bit.

Today was...alright. i got out of the house and bought a new book to read. I'm still looking for a new job and I feel unfulfilled right now since I am still on disability from my old job. I want to write again but I don't have an idea what to write about ever since I finished my book a couple weeks ago. Writing that story made me feel accomplished and fulfilled, now I feel in limbo again. It is what it is, just have that hopless feeling again.