Bipolar check in #39

Its okay to give yourself a day here and there to just “ be”

Brunch sounds lovely

Ohhh okay I think I misunderstood and thought YOUR Pdoc would see your Dad. .. Doh !

So him seeing your husbands Pdoc might be okay.

Thanks for the positive comments, everyone!

Yes, it’s lithium I am on, 450 mg/day.

It was very bizarre; about 45 min to an hour after taking the first pill, my thoughts slowed down, and I could actually think about 1 thing at a time, prioritize my thinking, and not have 20 thoughts or fragments of thoughts in my head. Took time to build up to a more constant level, but I only started lithium October 3.

I will see the pdoc again on Halloween.

Feeling content, genuine happiness and love really is awesome! . I have been searching for the med cocktail for me over 20 years, minus my pregnancy, over 10 years since I got the bipolar diagnosis. (Though I hope to reduce some meds with the pdoc’s help in the future.).

Don’t give up hope

Maybe after effects from your anesthesia?? Sees awful long tho. But... you have been feeling so sick for so long maybe your body is just demanding what it really needs and that’s sleep and lots of just good rest. ?!!

It’s good that your being proactive !!! Hopefully adding Abilify and Seroquil for right now stomps this out and you won’t need fulltime.

Oh goodness ! I hope the winds die down. I can’t imagine living with the threat of fires.

Stay safe

Yeah, I'm blaming the anesthesia. It says it can last for a while and that's before it's combined with clozapine. I'm normally tired so I guess this just doubled it. Plus as you mentioned, my body doesn't have much reserve right now after the months of sickness.

I did manage to walk the dogs up and down the driveway a few times (it is fairly long). I was actually willing to go once more but they wanted in so we stopped. I was tired but it felt good to move around some. That's an improvement; Wednesday I had to climb and descend these really steep and long steps at my nieces' school and I barely made it. I backed up traffic I was so slow.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring some more energy.

Well Steve’s Son and girlfriend can’t make it. All flights to Nashville are all way over booked. He could use a jump seat since he’s an employee of American Airlines , but his girlfriend could not. My husband is so bummed

But we just have a full weekend of snotty rain. They wanted to head to downtown Nashville and nobody wants to hang out down there in the rain. So another weekend would be better anyway.

My whole body is being a total Bytch !

Hugs and cookies ~

Hi!

I can see you are giving this situation due consideration. It is best to try to troubleshoot this before leaping.

Yes, the situations I had cited were very difficult; however, I am very happy to share with you. I want to try to help in any way I can help.

It sounds like your H's Pdoc would be the better choice, between your pdoc and H's pdoc. He is further removed from you.

I know we tend to think our pdocs won't get into drama. That's not really the biggest concern. Someone with a different agenda, someone who has some interpersonal issues, someone who can/does create chaos in families and/or in social groups, someone who manipulates, will do the same or worse when involved with one of our pdocs/therapists.

My pdocs were not the type to get involved in drama, and that is a part of why I was willing to take the chance, over and over. The person causing drama was so good at it, chaos in the clinic ensued anyway.

I think the very first choice is to find your dad a pdoc/therapist who is not involved with anyone in the family. I am sorry if I have missed this, why is it that your dad's pdoc/therapist might be someone connected to your family?
Are there other professionals trained in dual diagnosis?
Is there a shortage of pdocs/therapists in your area?

If your dad having a totally separate pdoc/therapist is not possible, then out of the two, your pdoc or your H's pdoc, it is less risky if your dad connects with your H's pdoc.

It is critical, for your own healing, that you always protect your relationships with your pdoc and your therapist. This healing space is very important. From my stories you can tell it took some time for me to fully understand the importance in doing so. I was more interested in helping others at the time and clearly did not protect myself and my healing space(s). I can see now that I was not properly protecting myself and the more "sacred" nature of these healing relationships/spaces. I no longer put these relationships at risk.

This is a very difficult decision. We all want to help our loved ones as best we can. Just a word of caution, offering our pdocs/therapists may not be the wisest, nor truly the best, for all parties involved.

I am thinking of you, BirdDancer, as you consider the best course for you and for your dad.

Much Love to You!

P.S. The pdoc who set his patient, your dad, up on a blind date deserves to be reported to at least a couple of regulating agencies.

That’s very weird ! Yes ignore is good

N3 and his gf left saying they were going to a festival of lights downtown. It was nearly dark when they left. Now n3's computer keeps making random noises so I called him to ask why and if I could shut it off but he didn't answer. So she doesnt have to be home until 10 and I'm still in my clothes in case one or both of them want a ride. I have a feeling n3 might walk her home then ask me to come get him. Edit: they are almost back here. He called.

By the way, I had typed this out earlier and the "token expired" so it ate my message! I hate when that happens.

Been reading my book about the elephants. This book just sneaks up on you. I have no idea where it might go next and a quote on the inside cover says it has a surprise ending so yeah.... Fun book!

Ummm I just want to add a bit to this

When I brought Judie into my home for some reason she assumed she would see my Pdoc and T ?!? Hu ? What? Noooooo ... I actually got panicked. Yes she needed to find providers but ...

Anyway I saw Richard a few days later and expressed concern He said that he would absolutely not be her T ... there were numerous other T’s she could see at the practice. He also said that if I was uncomfortable her seeing my Pdoc she could see the NP.

So Richard told me to call him when she made her intake appt so he could note on her account she could not see him or my Pdoc.

Judie was very upset when she was assigned to other providers. NP and T both told her they had a policy about family members and friends.

Judie even confronted me about it !!!!!! I was pretty shocked ! I mean I just saved her freaking life and she’s all mad that she can’t see MY T and Pdoc. I said even if they didn’t have that policy I would have not been okay her seeing them, that she had other options. The first of many red flags !

Anyway.... him seeing your Husbands Pdoc could be okay if your husband is okay with it.

I really really wish you didn’t have to deal with an alcoholic Father at all.

Please do make sure you take care of yourself first and foremost

Is N3 the son who won’t work ?? Sorry I can’t remember which is which

I feel like I am having a breakdown. Things have been rough lately. I feel like I have to be the strong one in my marriage all the time. I shouldn't. I'm fine one minute then crying the next. I don't see my therapist until November 11th. That was the first available appt. That seems like a long way off. God help me.

I had a rough day at work today. It was really busy and I was not feeling good.

I came home and I just sat, not saying a word. I was exploring how I was feeling and I'm marking down that today was a bad day.

But on the plus side, after a while of sitting quietly I started a conversation with my wife. We talked about a few things and it was good.

This weekend is an important time for Indians (my wife is from India). It's probably their most important festival. There's lots of cooking involved, plus visiting friends. So we're going out both days of the weekend. I hope they turn out to be good days.

Been feeling lethargic and blah all week. Not sure what gives. Not super depressed although this might be depression related. I feel apathetic, but it's because everything tires me out. I am stressed which isn't helping, but not enough to warrant this level of feeling like crud. I also don't seem to be particularly sick, I sneezed a few times this week and that's about it. My SO has been very sweet as per usual and I am glad to have his support. In general I have been considering going back to my psychiatrist, but feel awkward as I am not sure if I want to try meds, and I don't know what I expect to come of it? I am not sure how to ask to be seen again if they will only see me if I am taking medication which I can understand. I partly want to talk about OCD treatment options, so maybe that.

Tomorrow I am playing games with friends. Something to look forward to (and I wanted to add something positive to my update). Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Yes he's the youngest. Then N2 (the girl) is 2 years older. Then N1/Molly is my eldest. (2 years older than n2). They were all due in October but N3 came at 39 weeks so his bday is in September.

I hope you have an enjoyable weekend

A week can feel like forever when you're feeling off. I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. I would maybe give it a bit more time to see how it progresses. Also, I'd try using my coping skills to test to see how serious the symptoms are. If they improve with self care and distraction you may be able to manage on your own.

Have you considered other pdocs in your area? Maybe there would be one willing to treat you even if you aren't on meds. Also, do you see a therapist?

I’m sorry your struggling I think going to see about OCD treatment would be a way to open the door to find something that might help. Do you normally struggle in the Fall so many do, I’m hoping to skip my usual Fall funk. Do you have a light box ?? It can be helpful , it’s on a wish list fir my husband and I.

Hang in there !!! I’m glad your SO is so supportive

If he won’t work why are you burning gas driving his gf and him around?

I’d be like ..... “ you have feet! Use them. “

Moose I agree with Christina, taxi service is closed until he contributes to the house hold.

He walks most everywhere he wants to go. He walks a LOT. I dont like them walking after 10 in the dark so I drive her home.

Thanks Fern! I do see a therapist who is great, it's been a bit slow in terms of progress because she's only available every 2-4 weeks and it took awhile to figure out I had OCD and needed therapy specifically for it. However I am considering therapy plus lifestyle changes to be my primary treatment. I am doing okay with coping skills and I know this feeling will pass. I have more been considering seeing my psychiatrist it in general to maybe get some more feedback on what's going on with me.

It's not that I care about a label as much as I am confused about the underlying processes. I am also a little concerned some of this could be due to past health issues I've had. I haven't yet considered other pdocs just because I trust this one and he knows me well, but wouldn't be against it.

Thank you! Yes, fall is tough for me, this could be a bit of seasonal depression. I have a light box and am using it, but maybe not enough. I do find it helps, and hope you and your husband can get one! OCD treatment might be a good way to open the door, thanks.