Bipolar Check-in #40

That sounds absolutely horrendous. Sending healing vibes your way

Thanks Nammu I hope you get sleep tonight

Hi there,

I hope everyone is well. I haven't been here in a while, I know...

Tomorrow's my birthday, but I've been grumpy lately. Next time I see my Psychiatrist, I am gonna ask if he can suggest a stronger mood stabilizer or something that can help with my angry moods. I feel like I already ruined my birthday, and it's not even tomorrow yet.

How is everyone else? I hope you guys are doing better than I am.

Thanks bpcyclist

I'm hopeful that my pdoc and I will find a solution.

A sad day. I went to my friend's funeral yesterday. My mother came along too since this was my sister's best friend for decades and she knew our friend well.

There were lots of tears, lots of memories, and friends from all over attended.

I spoke with her brother and daughter and the rest of the family. We talked about the nice times my sister and our friend had and how we can't believe that both of them are gone now.

Funerals can definitely be cause for many emotions.

Be extra kind to yourself.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Sorry for your loss, Scooter. That sounds very difficult to deal with.

Take good care of yourself.

These two snowstorms are awful, awful, awful. Can't go anywhere or do anything because the roads are iced over with about 1-2 feet of wet snow on top (and I say 1-2 feet because it depends on whether or not the road was plowed at one point). Normally, the state is on top of these things, but I guess not this time around. The highways are atrocious with people saying they're slipping and sliding.

I have to clean the whole driveway by myself because my dad wanted to go on a trip after I told him that his flight would likely get cancelled. Now he's stranded at a hotel in Boston because his flight was cancelled (surprise, surprise) and *I* have to clean the whole driveway because my mom can't and my sister won't do s***. (And btw, parents' driveway is very long, not to mention uphill.) I have a snowblower, but it's still awfully slippery because I went out earlier today and unfortunately witnessed the black ice. And don't even get me started on the fact I've told my dad FOUR TIMES to hire a plow. I asked him starting in OCTOBER. He never actually contacted anyone. Figures...

Sorry for whining. I just feel like this was totally preventable if (A.) my dad hired a plow, or (B.) he never left to go on a trip that was bound to be cancelled. I would be in my apartment right now drinking a nice mug of hot chocolate and wrapped up in a bundle of blankets.

Hi Blue!

I also get a bit upset when inconvenient things happen; especially things that could have been prevented!
Is the snow heavy?
Please be careful, maybe taking the driveway on in increments?
I have had a plow doing properties for about 10 years now, just cleaning up with a snow b lower. Makes life much easier!

I hope you can find something positive in your experience today?
I cannot think of anything, except that, sometimes, the snow is pretty.

Love Ya!

Hi Scooter,
I am very sorry for the loss of a friend.
It sounds like she had a very special place in the heart of your sister and within the heart of your family, as well.
I think I recall you have recently lost another friend. I find it more difficult to lose people during the holiday season.

I am following your posts and I hope your pdoc has a helpful solution.

Much Love to You and to Your Family!

I am so sorry you must endure this incredible amount of pain.
I do know what it is l ike.
Lots of positive energy along with lots of Love headed your way!

We got hit pretty hard with the snow storm too. I just cancelled my pdoc appt today because I was told the roads all suck and there would be no parking.
Last night we had to bring one of my cats the the veterinary emergency hospital. Loaded her up with meds but we won't know what's going on until the blood work/urine test comes back. She's breathing heavy, won't eat, vomiting, and is just acting weird overall. She's an old cat (17 y/o) and I'm afraid she's not going to make it.
Mood wise I've been doing well. I still have paranoia popping in just to say hi though.

Hi Miss Denim,

Welcome back!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I have found a tweak in meds can often help me with irritability.
Does anything besides meds help?
How soon do you see your p-doc?
Any chance you might call him/her to have your meds adjusted before you see him/her?

I do hope you will enJOY your birthday!

Taken care!

I am also on a biologic and am a bit unsettled about using this drug class.
We are each between a rock and a hard place. It is either allow the disease process to continue destroying joints or inject the biologic(s).

I wish you complete healing of this terrible lung side-effect. I do not know if I could cope with it, on top of all else.

Love Ya!

Oh, spikes! I am sorry your cat is so ill.
I hope the tests reveal something totally curable.
Thinking of you and of your cat!
Much Love to You Both!

I hope everyone in snow zones stays safe and that we all feel better well before the holidays.

I'm sorry I haven't been much support lately.

I just had an epiphany. Perhaps if I take klonopin when I am feeling particularly anxious during this journey of quitting smoking I might be able to handle it better. I have some for the jaw twitching that I have. I have 90 days worth. I wonder if it would help along with using sugar free hard candy to keep my mouth busy. I hope so! I’m going to try it. I don’t think I’ll get addicted to klonopin after just 90 days. I’ve taken it for longer than that before.

I say this bc I broke down and bought another pack of cigs today. I DON’t WANT TO SMOKE. I need to stop! I don’t want to smell like smoke I don’t want to taste smoke I don’t anything to do with smoking. But my willpower just isn’t there.

I’m going to try so hard. I’ve GOT to quit!

So sorry for all the hard times everyone is going though.

I did get some sleep but not till after 4:30am when I took another half pill. The dreams were all broken and distorted instead of being like a movie. It was like someone took several movies and sliced them onto one wheel. Not a restful sleep. Hard to wake fully cause of taking the half pill so late in the am.

My sister took my brother to the doctor yesterday. His blood pressure was 89/58 and his oxygen saturation was 96%. That’s down from 110/70 on Saturday. The doctor was told that he wasn’t eating or drinking and is out of it. What does it take to get someone admitted to the hospital? We bought a blood pressure cuff to monitor his bp at the doctor’s suggestion. Being very vigilant while working on remaining positive.

I see my therapist in a little over an hour. I hope she can help me as I’m shutting down. I’m trying to be more compassionate with myself over my limitations right now.

Positive note: it’s going to be sunny and 61F Saturday and I’m going to meet M halfway. Nice weather to travel.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I at least got up, brushed my teeth and hair, put on day clothes (albeit shorts, despite snow on the ground), and ate some chicken soup. It does help.

I did cancel my tdoc appointment. I haven't cancelled pdoc for tomorrow.

My voice is hoarse and my whole body is in a state of horribleness! It is just a heck of a cold. Not the flu.

I'd love to make you some homemade chicken soup!

When I have a terrible cold or the flu,
I have these "shawls" made of flannel and they are full of dry rice and various herbs. I heat them in the microwave. I have never had anything hold the heat so long and/or give off such penetrating heat. I also have two the size of small blankets. They are also full of rice and are weighted blankets. I love them!

I am so sorry you are feeling so poorly. I wish I could help somehow!

ugh, I don't know what I'm going to do. We got those 2 storms in a row and I can't use the snow blower because the snow is taller than the snow blower. The snow is also very wet, so the dang thing won't spin and lift the snow. It just gets stuck. And this is after I went out this morning and did the snow. We're definitely over 2 feet right now -- and counting. Guess I'll be getting one hell of a workout with shoveling today... It's the only option since we have no plow and no one to help. Thanks for nothing, dad...

The shawls/blankets sound wonderful! I should look into them. I have been putting the Vicks Vapo Rub on, but that actually irritates my skin a little.

Because of bipolar disorder, my tendency to tachycardia, and my meds, cold/flu medications are so limited.

P.S. I wish you could make me more chicken soup! I'm sure yours would be yummier than the one hubby bought.

I don't know if neighbors are close to your parents' home or not. I have had great luck summoning plow trucks when they are at the neighbor's house. I ask them to plow, we settle on a price, and they love to earn the money while they are right there.

I usually have a plow lined up. When I have not made prior arrangements. or when my plow guy calls because he is stuck, I go outside and summon other plows! It works every time.

Be careful! Don't over do it!

Hi!

Almost everyone I know smokes in order to try to relax, to counter their anxiety. I often suggest they pursue treatment for their anxiety as they work on quitting smoking.

I think your idea makes sense. i just want to mention the fact that regular use of klonopin might worsen depression or depressive tendencies. You'll want to keep an eye on this.

You mention 90 days of klonopin. You may or may not need a full 90 days.
I personally think it healthier to use klonopin than to be addicted to smoking.

It is possible you might pickup some additional anxiety management skills along the way, too.

I suggest running this by y our pdoc.

Oh! Is there any drug testing with your job?

Best wishes as you work on quitting smoking!