Bipolar Check-in #40

I’m so jealous !!! My husband also draws and often paints.

I honestly no joke have trouble drawing a circle or a stick man LOL

Hey there, Fuzzy!
I am sorry this has happened to you.
I do think your response is very healthy!
It's nice to have you sharing like this!
I think you'll feel better if you tell it like it is!

It's nice to be nice, but you do have feelings!
You'll feel better standing up for yourself, after all, you aren't a bear rug!
Love Ya!

I hope you have a great time tomorrow!
Sorry about the husband.

What kind of cookies?

I am looking forward to reading your works!
I hope you continue to improve quickly.

Chewy chocolate chip for me and whatever your favorite is.

They are magical cookies

I like magical cookies! I hope they magically eradicate pain!??? Do they, ~Christina???

Oh they certainly will !!!

My state needs to legalize a few things and I will be baking lots of brownies and things Hahaha

Come to my house. Magical treats are legal here. Bring BirdDancer, she has the cookie-making experience. We have many to make! There's a lot of pain of all types out here....

All decadent magic cookies Yes!!!

Losing my mind! If you’re able to offer support please comment on my Hospital thread. I not crying for attention. I’m just at the end of my rope, terrified I’m about to fall.

I'm ok, my brother told me I am ugly. Oh well, he is always trying to put me down. But, I feel ok otherwise. He is repulsive looking himself so may be he is trying to put me down so he feels better. I don't think I am gorgeous but just not as repulsive as he is. Anyways, I hope others are enjoying their weekend!

I can't do this anxiety thing much longer. My parents come tomorrow, my house is a disaster, my hair needs to be done, my tree not even up. We didn't do anything today because the Fiasco yesterday. I am losing hope that anything can be done for me. I just have to get used to this , one day I will

I am sorry you are having such a rough time.....Hope you can sleep tonight.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I feel depressed.i did not sleep well last night.i feel weak.

Ok zopiclone isn't working for me.

I took a full dose last night and am up 4 hours after I went to sleep.

It infuriates me when I hear that people call others ugly! You are not ugly! I hate the word and feel it's use is too often used strictly in an abusive way that makes no sense.

It is my strong assumption that it is your brother who truly has significant self-esteem issues and self anger. He is surely not ugly, either, but his behavior is ill.

Unfortunately, my brother-in-law has been verbally abusive to my sister and nephews far too often during their whole time together. He used that "ugly" bit on my youngest nephew. When my nephew, in confidence, told me his father said that to him I could have died and confess that I yelled the contradiction in reaction. I tried to explain that it is my brother-in-law's being ill that brought out that word. Really, my brother-in-law likely heard something comparable from his father. That's part of the tragedy relating to the utterance of such wrong things.

I am so sorry!

My pdoc gave up and has told me to find an audible book ( a boring one) so someone can bore me into sleep.

The good news is, I am finally getting quite close to the number of hours you have been getting! (Without sleeping aids, that is.)

Did you have insomnia before you'd started on Mirapex?
I have always had some degree of sleep disturbance. I also have some degree of apnea,: so, in my case, it is not all Mirapex.

My best to you and to yours!

I am sorry I'd missed you last night. I hope you are feeling better now.

Hi Ukylu!
Welcome (back?) to the BP thread!
I see you have been a member for awhile now.

I am sorry you have been having difficulties.

So glad you've joined us!
I hope to see you around!

No I didn't have problems before the Mirapex. The issue is that I'm feeling a little better on Mirapex so I'd like to keep it if at all possible.

I feel better than I have in 2 years. It's not perfect because I feel half good and half had but it's an improvement over being badly depressed.

I'm going to find out if I can go a little higher on zopiclone.

Thanks WC. All the best to you

I am sorry your brother treats you this way! I agree with BirdDancer, it's abusive!
Sometimes, we grow up in abusive environments and we do not realize our behaviors, or the behaviors of others around us are abusive.

You might be very surprised by which behaviors are considered "abusive," I know I was!

I invite you to take a look!

CONTROL AND POWER WHEEL:
Wheels - Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs

My brothers tormented me while I was growing up, telling me I was fat and ugly. I believed them. I've looked back at pictures and I was truly neither! Yet, I grew up with a horrible complex because of what they'd constantly told me.

I encourage you to take a look at the link. I have found it very helpful to realize that the behaviors (of others toward me) that upset me, are quite often truly abusive. The "wheels" in the link have validated my experiences for years now.

I hope you can find a way to maybe show your brother that his behavior is abusive?

I hope you can find a way to stay away from him until he promises to stop abusing you!

I finally built my printer table, so that's good. I put my printer on it and put supplies on its shelves (e.g., rolls of tape, pens, extra paper, etc.). I also ordered a 3 shelf bookcase off Amazon that was kinda expensive, but it looks nice and has 343 reviews with a 4.7 out of 5 star rating, so I figured it'd be good. I'm gonna build it when it (hopefully) comes on Monday and start organizing further -- although I'm not 100% convinced it'll be a Monday delivery, as Amazon has been having crappy delays.

I would continue organizing, but right now, I don't quite have the space to make everything as organized as I like. I mean, I can stack things on shelves neatly and put things in drawers neatly, but I want to space things out. I don't want everything crammed together. I like stuff to "breathe," or so to speak.

Anyways, mood is pretty good. I think I'm finally done recovering from a short bout of depression, preceded by a short bout of hypomania. A med increase helped with the depression fairly quickly.

My parents want to come over in 3 weeks. They know my apartment is a mess, and they want me to set a goal of getting it cleaned within 3 weeks. Realistically, though, I only have 2 weeks to do so, as I'm going on a short trip before Christmas.

Blue, am happy you built your printer table. I know you will be glad when your other furniture comes in next week.
Good luck organizing! and have a good day.
bizi

Well, I guess so far, it's been a pretty good weekend for me. Other than Friday night for a bit, my voices have been pretty quiet, Paranoia under decent control. No viz. hallucinations in awhile. Just better, which I am so grateful for. I really needed a break from the terror. Not going to discuss sleep, because my mother told me if I didn't have something nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all.

Weather here remains just weird. It is normally raining without a break this time of year down here and snowing like mad in the mountains an hour away. But the forecast today is for 0% chance of rain and same for tomorrow. It's so strange. Not complaining, though, if this continues, we will once again be dealing with totally out of control forest fires come May. It simply must rain. A lot.

Going to try to get out and take a few pictures this afternoon. I have developed an interest in photography recently, even though I know nothing and have zero talent. But it's fun for me, so I will see what I can find to take some pictures of later on. I like to find funny street signs and other signs and photograph them. Some of them are ridiculous and funny (like the Slug Crossing one).

Sending support and safe hugs to those struggling. Have a nice day, everyone!

I wonder if there's a way to get insurance to cover fish oil? I guess it would have to be prescription strength fish oil at that point and prescribed? Yeah so expensive, but I least I found it buy one get one at CVS so now I have to commit because I have two large bottles. Got the gummies because I am terrible at swallowing large pills and that is another reason I don't follow through with it. I'm like ugh I don't feel like half choking on a pill right now so I just won't take it haha.

And yeah oh my gosh they were the cutest!! I want a puppy now (not going to get one though lol).