How do you deal with it when no matter what you do, which coping skills you use, who you talk to or who you avoid, you are just seething with rage?

[bizi]

I am sorry that you have rages......what makes them go away for you? Do you get them often? What does your therapist say?
bizi

[wiretwister]

I try to isolate myself from the sourse of my anger . . . a dark room is best for me . . . time and distraction are what work for me . . . xanex if you have access to it . . . deep breathing and just getting space between the sourse and me . . . best wishes . . . my main problem also . . . it's hard I know . .

What coping mechanisms have you already tried? Maybe we can come up with some new ones for you.

I've already tried walking, showering, journaling/writing, music, taking zyprexa (my only current PRN), reading, using cannabis, watching TV/movies, playing keyboard, going for a drive, drinking, punching pillows, screaming into pillows, ripping up paper, deep breathing, and spending time with my cats.
I don't know what makes them go away (hence this thread), it's extremely frequent (hence the word "constant" in the title), and no clue what my therapist would say because she has no ****ing idea how much I have been struggling these past few days.

[Nammu]

The only thing that helps me is APs and time for them to work. When I have the rages I'm usually off my meds or not on a AP. ADs exacerbate my rages. I try to just isolate myself to keep damage to a minimum

[Wild Coyote]

Sounds like you have tried a lot of ways to potentially release your feelings of anger.

So, when we feel angry, it is a reaction to a prior emotion. This is why it can be difficult to identify the original feelings. If the anger/rage is more than part of a mood episode, one would do well to consider the cause(s) of the anger/rage. We never immediately feel enraged. There are emotions we experience which then sends us into a rage/anger.

AN example: My sister tells me I am too fat. I feel anger. Before I felt the anger, I felt other feelings, which made me angry. When she said that to me, I felt hurt and betrayed by her. Those are the initial feelings. I then progress to rage/anger.

So when we are trying to resolve anger, we need to try to identify the original feelings.
It is not always easy to identify the initial feelings. However, it is often the only way to resolve the ongoing anger.

Another thing I would like to mention is the fact that many people harbor anger/rage when they truly need to find a way to cry. Yes, cry.
Just something to consider.

I hope you find some relief ASAP.

Keep reaching out!

spikes, it definitely looks like you are working hard to curb the rage. I hope as another step you'll give yourself a lot of credit for that, regardless of how well (or not) it's working.

I'm not sure if this will be of help to you, but for me humor can be really helpful. I don't mean just watching comedy, though that might help, too. I mean when you feel anger or rage, try to express it in a way that is so absurd to yourself that it makes you laugh. Maybe if you picture violent actions in your head, try to put yourself in some funny outfit (in your head or even literally, if that works). Our let out a roar like a lion. Or start yelling crazy gibberish or crowing like a rooster. Maybe in the end, you'll laugh and the rage will calm. I'm actually serious about this. It may sound supremely silly, but...I do the above sometimes with some success.

Here's an example of what I am talking about:

[fern46]

Sorry Spikes. Rage is a tough one and you're working really hard to get through it. I think you're doing your best with the coping skills you know. My advice would be to give it time and remember it will eventually pass.

I noticed you mentioned you are using cannabis. What form are you using? CBD has been shown to assist with some mental struggles, but high levels of THC can exacerbate them, especially psychosis. A lot of strains are high in THC and it is hard to control the dosing. I know it feels better sometimes to self medicate, but I worry for you given what you've experienced over the last couple of weeks.

Stay safe ok? No more bridge talk!

Originally Posted by spikes

I've already tried walking, showering, journaling/writing, music, taking zyprexa (my only current PRN), reading, using cannabis, watching TV/movies, playing keyboard, going for a drive, drinking, punching pillows, screaming into pillows, ripping up paper, deep breathing, and spending time with my cats.
I don't know what makes them go away (hence this thread), it's extremely frequent (hence the word "constant" in the title), and no clue what my therapist would say because she has no ****ing idea how much I have been struggling these past few days.

Have you tried drinking a warm beverage? I find that hot cocoa is very soothing when I take small sips and take in the scent of the cocoa. Coffee and tea work well for this too.

Like fern, I’m concerned about your cannabis use. Some strains are dangerous for us folks.

Have you reached out to your therapist? Does she know at all about your rage?

I think right now, you should reach out to a mental health professional, be it the hospital, your pdoc, your therapist, your group therapy leader, crisis team... anyone. I think they can help you a lot. Heck, even a crisis hotline might be worth trying. Basically, try to find someone who you can talk to over the phone, thru texts, or in person.

Stay safe, spikes. We all care deeply about you.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by Nammu

The only thing that helps me is APs and time for them to work. When I have the rages I'm usually off my meds or not on a AP. ADs exacerbate my rages. I try to just isolate myself to keep damage to a minimum

I have to agree, my AP really helps with this.

[yellow_fleurs]

I am sorry you are feeling like this. If this has been going on for awhile and is not your baseline, maybe it would be good to talk to your therapist or pdoc? I wonder if this is due to a mood episode because I have once experienced seething rage like nothing ever before and that was due to a mixed episode. I get angry other times, but not like that where coping skills don't touch it.

I am concerned about your bridge comment and how much you seem to be struggling. Can you let us know if you are okay? Are you able to keep yourself safe? If not please seek immediate help.

[fern46]

Spikes, can you check in with us? I hope you're feeling better today. Thinking of you.

I'm still here.

Possible trigger:

Didn't make it all the way to the bridge last night, but I did take more zyprexa and remeron than prescribed

surprisingly didn't even sleep that much last night and it was just horrible. As for the cannabis use, that was only a couple times its not a regular thing. I have a feeling if on Tuesday I'm honest with my T she will send me IP. Also before I went on my walk I asked for my account to be deleted so this is going to be one of if not the last post I make.

Originally Posted by spikes

I'm still here.

Possible trigger:

Didn't make it all the way to the bridge last night, but I did take more zyprexa and remeron than prescribed

surprisingly didn't even sleep that much last night and it was just horrible. As for the cannabis use, that was only a couple times its not a regular thing. I have a feeling if on Tuesday I'm honest with my T she will send me IP. Also before I went on my walk I asked for my account to be deleted so this is going to be one of if not the last post I make.

You can always tell DocJohn "never mind" if you don't want your account deleted anymore. Just send him a PM and explain the situation.

If your T feels the need to put you in IP, I would trust her judgment. She's seen lots of patients and likely has good intuition (or so I would assume). Just be open with her and let her help you figure out what treatment you need. Maybe you don't need IP at all, or maybe you do. She can help you.

[fern46]

I'm glad to hear you didn't make it to the bridge. Thanks so much for letting us know. IP might be a good idea until things calm down. Only you and your doctor know what's best. I hope you reconsider your account here after some time away. I've enjoyed your perspective and like having you around. Be well Spikes.

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Spikes, I am glad you have made it this far. I believe you can make it through this tough time and can, once again, enjoy your life.
I know I have had times which were very, very rough and I have wanted to find a way out. I do believe you can make it through this and can experience a joy in life again. I hope you will hold on and will fight. You are well worth it.
Should you decide to go, I wish you well. I hope you find healing. Much Love

[Nammu]

..........

[~Christina]

About 5 years ago I had been dealing with unbelievable rage for weeks. I finally broke down and told my Pdoc I literally needed a padded room.

So ...

He called in a script for Thorazine 50 mg and if I was still awake after 30 mins take another 50mg. Well it took the 100mg it knocked me out cold and I slept for 16 hours

I woke up and my mind was quiet, my entire body hurt from being constantly being tensed up from my rage for weeks.

I didn’t have to take another dose, it was enough to stop that hell to where we were able to fiddle with my AP and mood stabilizer around.

I so hope your able to find some relief. I know it’s just pure hell.

[Nocalove]

Originally Posted by spikes

I've already tried walking, showering, journaling/writing, music, taking zyprexa (my only current PRN), reading, using cannabis, watching TV/movies, playing keyboard, going for a drive, drinking, punching pillows, screaming into pillows, ripping up paper, deep breathing, and spending time with my cats.
I don't know what makes them go away (hence this thread), it's extremely frequent (hence the word "constant" in the title), and no clue what my therapist would say because she has no ****ing idea how much I have been struggling these past few days.

I use to throw ice cubes into an empty bathtub. It helped get my rage out.

[Wild Coyote]

How are you doing, spikes?

[Jedi67]

how are you today, spikes? hope you're doing better. keep in touch with us!

No different

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by spikes

No different

sorry to hear that, spikes. sorry you are going thru this now. keep in touch though, please. let us know how you are doing when you can. praying things get better for you. stay in touch!

[MickeyCheeky]

You're in my Thoughts and Prayers, @spikes! I am DEEPLY SORRY for what you're going through I hope things will start to improve soon for you. Please be kind to yourself. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're still with us and still writing here. Definitely try to help yourself in any way you can. I understand it's hard! Have you already tried buying a punching bag? That can help sometimes. Please be kind to yourself and keep writing here if it helps! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME if you need Advice and Support! I'm SURE that EVERYONE here will gladly listen to what you have to say and help you out IN ANY WAY THEY POSSIBLY CAN as well! Sending many safe, warm hugs to You, @spikes, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already wonderfully doing all and entirely by yourself! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING AND PLEASE DO KEEP ROCKING!