Bipolar check-in #43

You gotta talk to your pdoc today. Now. Right now. This is an emergency.

Mind if I just vent? I was having a perfectly good morning, then the phone rang. It was a wrong number.
"Hello?"
"This is ****".
"I don't know any ****s".
"Then maybe you ought to take better care with the numbers you dial!"

WTF??!! It's bad enough when people don't apologize for it -- but to YELL at you for THEIR mistake?! What an *******!!!!!

Gotta breathe. My heart rate's still up. What is WRONG with people?!!!!

That is IT for picking up numbers not on my (quite short) list!!!!! Grrrrr.

Other than that, fine.

Can I just say thank you for this? I have had something similar happen to me several times in the last few weeks. So bizzare.

"Hello"
"Why did you call me?"
"I didn't"
"Someone from this number called me"
"I wasn't even using my phone and you are not in my call logs"
"What number is this?
"I dunno bro. You called me. I don't give my number out"

Why do they treat us like criminals when they can't even return a phone call properly? Who even prank calls in an age of caller ID?

I was dreading today coming up. Just back to work and back to the body pains and feeling withdrawn and otherwise depressed.

I feel good on the weekends and on days I get to work from home because it's low stress for some reason. When I work from home I do the same amount of work but the stress from going to work being there is absent on those days.

I'm so tempted to try to get more formal accommodation so that I can work from home more often. It would mean revealing my bipolar to my manager and the last, and possibly HR. But I'm thinking the benefits would outweigh the risk. I work in a hospital after all so you would think they would be understanding.

I've reached 3 weeks on the increased dose of Remeron and can say it hasn't done much for me. My pdoc mentioned she might stop my latuda and start abilify as the next thing to try. I like latuda and am on the fence about stopping it.

I got into an accident today while on my way home from partial. It was entirely my fault and I admitted it to the other driver because I can't stomach not immediately taking responsibility for it. I was called the wrong gender by the parties involved despite their friendliness and understanding of the situation. The truth is I'm sleep deprived and that's probably why it happened. I'm having a bit of an anxiety attack over this whole thing and I'm afraid to get back behind the wheel to go to my therapy appointment this afternoon. I can't do this anymore.

Try to be gentle with yourself, Wander. Virtualy all of us with this illness has a similar type of story--or many of them (like me). Sometimes, it happens. This was not your native self. Your partner surely knows this. Try not to judge yourself and just work on feeling better!!!!

Thanks for your reply, WC.

I met with my pdoc today and he said something about my blood plasma being elevated and that's why I have akathisia? I'm not quite sure I understand.

He gave me an Rx for cogentin, which I have to pick up, but it's not ready yet. He said it should help with restlessness since I still have rexulti in my system.

At the end of the appt, he said that I don't have to be on an antipsychotic at this time while my blood plasma (?) returns to normal. He said come see him in 4 weeks and then think about a different antipsychotic like saphris, but he didn't give me the chance to discuss diagnoses with him.

HI Blue!

I am glad he gave you something for your discomfort.. Finally!

Here's hoping you will be okay for 4 weeks.
I continue concerned, just because you are already showing signs of going into an episode.

Should you need help before you are scheduled to meet with him again, what's the plan? Is his assistant going to help you out?

I do hope this all works out for you. I think you know I do.
Please be careful and please have a plan in place.

I don't have any plan in place. We didn't come up with a plan. He just made the blood plasma comment, said I don't have to be on an antipsychotic right now, wrote me a script for cogentin, and said, "have a good day."

Some girl who had the appt before me came in at 12:42pm when mine was @ 12:45pm. (He does appts in increments of 15 mins, so hers was @ 12:30pm.) I got cut short to make up for the lost time, I guess? I don't know why doctors let people show up to appts late when it ruins everyone else's time. I personally think she shouldn't have been allowed in, but I'm not the dr, so that's not my decision. Just sucks for everyone else, is what I'm saying.

I think I'll be fine, though. I'll just work with my therapist when I see her in 2 weeks.

Might I ask as to what the music genre was?

Hi Innerzone and Fern. What likely happened here is that the person who called you, accusing you of calling them, received a robocall. The robocall likely showed your phone number in their caller ID. Obviously, the robocall did not come from your actual phone, but they found a way to make it look like it did. The whole purpose is for the robocall to appear as if it was from a local number in your area (as opposed to half across the country or even abroad). That makes the person more likely to pick up the robocall, which is what the criminals that do the robocalls want. Even if the person does not pick up the call when it is ringing, the call (showing your number) will likely appear in their "missed call" records. So they might call YOUR number and thus the confusion/anger.

I've had the same situation happen and the person told ME to report the robocall, since he received a call seemingly from my phone number. That does no good, and I told him as much. The only real solution to stopping these criminal robocallers from doing this, is to complain about it to your congressman/woman. Further laws must be passed and pressure put on phone companies. that help prevent this from happening. You might think that it would be a no-brainer, but many politicians are not eager to force things on corporate America or make things difficult (or less profitable). This is partially because of some politicians' view that government should not be too involved, and partially because some politicians ultimately get money from supporting corporate interests (from both major political parties).

The article below may explain this robocall situation better than me:

Phone Companies Can Filter Out Robocalls, They Just Aren’t Doing It

I certainly don't mean to be negative, but I would not be so sure about hospital empathy for your situation. A formal education is no guarantee of any kind of insight, sadly--as my incredibly educated, totally clueless brother proves each and every day of his life. I came out with my illnesses as faculty at a huge medical school and was immediately targeted for big-time discrimination. I could have sued and would have won, according to the person at the state I chatted with--just her opinion, obviously. Instead, I decided to just leave and open my own shop. It was the right thing for me.

Whatever you do, sending you strength and support!!!!

An Uber maybe? Is there someone who could drive you, maybe? Bus? Walk?

Did you tell him about the asst. blowing you off again and again?

Well, I politely implied that she did. I said, "I called several times and nothing was resolved, so I stopped taking Rexulti." I think he got the hint that his "assistant" was getting in the way.

Hi BirdDancer and all,

Yes!
I have used this on my landline for approx. 1 year. It works very well.. Calls that are blocked by this service do get in just one ring and then the call is disconnected by the service. It filters out probably 80% of robocalls at my house.,

Xfinity/Comcast suggests this to their customers complaining of too many robocalls.

Stop robocalls and telemarketers with Nomorobo

I am to limit my computer usage.....
until I can get back to sanity.
bizi

I don't want to continue to complain constantly, so just note that today has been pretty rough and I'll see my psychiatrist Wednesday.

I hope you can still check in here?

Hey Blue,

You have expressed ongoing frustration, on a chronic basis, re: this situation with your pdoc, I think one assistant was already replaced? If so, I tend to think their attitudes are coming from their boss. If one assistant acts this way, then maybe it is her personality. If 2 in a row act this way, it might be a part of their job description?

Honestly, I think your pdoc is grossly remiss for having his assistants decide who needs help and when. Are they licensed to practice medicine? In addition to the legal risk your pdoc is taking ,he is taking risks with his patients' lives.

Why are you so complacent about this when you finally meet with him?
I know you have said you have "politely " implied it is his assistant is getting in the way of you receiving adequate and responsible medical care.

You think he got the "hint?".

You and he have been down this road before.

I know for a fact that you are incredibly intelligent, that you are extremely capable in your professional setting. I know you have positions at work that require leadership skills and boundary setting. I know you have the skills to more fully address these issues with your pdoc.

What happens to those skills when talking with your pdoc?
Why acquiesce?

A "hint?"

The reasoning for not addressing this very neglectful and potentially dangerous issue is the fact that someone earlier was late? I fail to see what someone else's issues have to do with you settling yours.

We are talking about your welfare and your life.

I am concerned that you'd finally meet with this pdoc and leave only a "hint" about all you have been through?

I am concerned you may be losing insight. I do not think an insightful person would merely drop a hint, considering all you have been through with this issue.

I do not think a talented, very bright person like you would fail to devise a plan with the pdoc incase something goes awry, unless you are impaired or simply do not care?

Either way, I am very concerned. .

I do not want you to ever have to go through experiences like losing your job, your home, your life. I care so very much about what happens in your life. I hope you will take this in the spirit in which it is intended.

Please be very careful. You know where to reach me if I can help in any way at any time.

Much Love to You!

Hi Bizi!

I fully support you in whatever you need to do to be as well and you can be.
I will miss you. I will be thinking of you. I hope you will be able to update us at some point?
Be well, Bizi.
Much Love

I don't think his assistants are/were licensed to practice medicine. As I mentioned a few days ago, I outright asked his current assistant if she was a medical professional and she completely dodged the question. Couple that with the fact she is not his "nurse" or "my doctoral colleague," but instead "my assistant," I am inclined to say they are not licensed for this.

As for today's appointment, he legit walked me out the door because he said he had "another patient waiting." I only had like 10 mins? So because someone else was late, my appt was cut short and I was walked out the door. And he spent most of the time typing random crap on his computer instead of talking to me. I don't know what he types, but he always does this. It's just that usually I have more time to talk, except the appt was cut short.

I don't think I actually need a plan with him, to be honest. I mean, what's the point? I am just going to get refused an appt again and his assistant will ignore me. But if I look for another pdoc, then I am waiting 6+ months for one because the waiting lists are long, and how will I deal with withdrawal for 6+ months? My GP certainly doesn't feel comfortable prescribing psych meds, as I mentioned before.

I think my therapist would be a better person to help me come up with a plan. She is at least responsive as of late. But I won't see her until next Friday in about 2 weeks. I could make an earlier appt, but I don't think she will have the space since I am not in a "crisis" and thus don't "qualify" for a crisis appt.

I hope your appt goes well

I see my pdoc in two hours. Thanks for your concern. Will report back after I see him if I can.

I literally can’t stand most humans. They suck and are idiots. I’m sorry you had this bullshyt

I literally never answer my phone unless it’s someone I know and even then sometimes I just watch it ring , then I’ll just text whoever and say.. what’s up ?!

Growing up we had a whistle next to our phone .. back in the days of heavy breathers or prank calls we would blow that whistle hard. lol