Bipolar check-in #43

But you do matter, Fuzzinator. You matter to all of us!!!!!! You matter very much!!!

I am so sorry you are dealing with this, scatterbrained. But the benefits of quitting are huge!! It will totally be worth it. And you will have more money!!

Sending you support. You can do this!!!!

Update: Dental extraction went well. They used a lot of Novocain. So I felt a little pain but not much. He ended up only taking out one because he said as long as the other one wasn't painful or infected I don't have to get it pulled even if it needs a root canal and I can't afford it. Maybe I can save to get it done in the future, Idk. anyway, the one the took out was the one that had been infected and was also causing me a lot of pain

I am so sorry for all your struggle with the psoriasis and PSA--that has just been miserable for you, I know. Have not really heard about that new med you are trying, but I really hope it is working soon for you. Sending you positive lymphocyte vibes.

Yes, my now ex-wife is still in the ED. She was and is an excellent nurse, just not such a terrific wife. Her primary focus in life--spending money--was just completely different from mine. We never should have married. Dumb of me. Oh well.

Yes, life does seem to get in the way for us quite a lot. You are obviously making the most of th situation. Good for you. I hope you feel better soon!!

That has to be so rough on your condition. So sorry. I hope it calms down soon. Sending prayers about the MRI results...

There has got to be someone taking new patients. In my opinion, I have the smartest psychiatrist I have ever met--which is saying something. And he takes new patients all the time. Dig around, there has to be someone out there who will see you who can help.

I am sorry you are struggling so, Marcus. Does your pdoc know about all this?

Feel like I was hit by a Mack truck full of Depakote. Completely wiped out. Exhausted all the time. Just too much for the Provigil to manage. Or me.

Might need to lower the dose, I guess. I'll give it a little more time and see what happens. Really need to exercise. Have not been able to exercise in days. No juice. Maybe I can drag myself out there. It is quite beautiful here today.

Love and hugs to everyone!!!!

another grrrr day. (understatement ) This kind of sucks...

hugs to all

btw, fwiw, I realised I responded in a sub optimal way to a post long ago, I realise everyone was trying to help. I apologize (if anyone remembers the post in question … I had pretty much forgotten it but I remembered it again) (if I remember correctly, it was in part about the help, (or not) that seems to be available (or not) in a forest locally to me irl.. unfortunately the ''help'' and to be honest, their attitudes (irl) does not agree with me My serious allergy to meds doesn't help (but that is only part of the problem I have had with the providers irl…

Migraine. Sitting in bed. I took Tylenol and watched a second stand up video of Tom Papa on Netflix. He's pretty funny. I want to go to sleep but if I do I'll be up late and I have to get up early tomorrow to take N3 to work.

Really irritable and grumpy yesterday evening and today. Regular moods, or med side effect? Dunno. Some sites I read have irritability, agitation and aggression listed for Risperidone (it's the only new med I'm on.)

Thank you everyone who responded and those who may not have but are thinking good thoughts for me. I really appreciate it. It's times like this when I really need some (divine) intervention in life. I have a psychiatrist appointment next week and I'm going to be sure to express this to him. He may or may not have a working plan for me or medicine to to help, but at least I know I've exhausted my options. I'm scared to be honest. I spend everyday in a state of panic and fear and dread and I have to brace myself to the next day of the same. The only rest I really get is when I fall asleep. I'm sleeping so early because it takes so much out of me to be in a constant state of high stress and anxiety, and I think it's common after rushes of adrenaline. Anyway, I'm all out of options here. I'm doing the best I can and my best just doesn't seem good enough. The only thing I can do is bear through and suffer until it causes me to lose my job and the little social life I have. I just don't see the need to suffer like this. Just to keep it clear, I am not suicidal nor wanting to hurt myself -- I'm just worn out.

I was able to get a therapy appointment with my previous therapist. I only had a few sessions with her and felt on the fence when it comes to continuing with her, but she takes my insurance, and I just plan to be more vocal about what I respond to vs. what doesn't work for me. I meet with her next Friday. Hopefully it goes okay. I've been in need of therapy for a while now.

Now I'm not tired. Normally Id be almost asleep right now. :-(

So depressed...

I think my pdoc screwed up. She quadrupled my dose. Which is normally the starting dose for others but usually she goes a lot slower at the same time I'm getting agitated with being sick so long. So I start tonight taking the higher dose.

MM-what did she quadruple to? If your tagline is accurate quadrupling would put you way above what I've ever seen anyone take. That's possible; I've been on doses of meds far above recommended but certainly we didn't reach that dose all at once.

Can you call tomorrow? I think you've said she only works a few days per week but there has to be someone covering.

MM-what did she quadruple to? She increased my lexapro from 2.5 mg to 10 mg.

I’m sorry you’re depressed. Did it just come on or did something happen?

What a day! I’ve ended up IP.
To cut a long story short: My mood tanked this morning and my anxiety went through the roof. I was so ‘off’ this morning when I saw my pdoc that she’s admitted me into hospital. Such fun! (Insert sarcasm)

Glad to see you doing so well

Glad to see you doing so well

Thanks