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#51
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I lost my gran to this. And I‘m worried I may lose my dad to this too ....
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![]() Anonymous46341, Daonnachd, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#52
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![]() Yes, it can be a very scary topic in families who have already lived through this experience. Please do practice self-care. ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, Crazy Hitch, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, ~Christina
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![]() Crazy Hitch, Sunflower123, TunedOut, ~Christina
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#53
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![]() Anonymous46341, Daonnachd, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Daonnachd, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#54
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People were surprised when I went to the hospital for my attempt. They said it came out of left field- that I was just fine earlier that same day. I guess that's how it goes sometimes.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#55
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I have “successfully” avoided hospitals since I was last abused in one aged 8...
Respect and hugs to all ![]()
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![]() Anonymous46341, downandlonely, fern46, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#56
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![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous46341, Crazy Hitch, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() Crazy Hitch, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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#57
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My attempt when my daughter was 5 was a hugh stock, Noone realized just how bad I was, I wish I had reached out, It would have saved me the trauma and certainly saved me family and friends.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous46341, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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#58
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My first suicidal episode hit my wife very hard. While I can't recall much of that time, I do remember her asking me, "How can I trust that you're safe, that we're safe?" It has made me afraid to seek help because I don't want to bring back those fears for her.
__________________
>< |
![]() Anonymous46341, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#59
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Yes, she did have a valid question honestly. My family and friends felt the same, wondering if I would try again next week or next year I think by you seeking out help and having a treatment team you are showing with actions you are taking your mental health seriously and taking steps to find stability. Actions are better than words in many cases. ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() childofchaos831, Daonnachd, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#60
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The Skeezyks has 2 major suicide attempts to his credit each of which landed me in the psych wards of 2 area hospitals (plus some not so serious ones that didn't.) I regularly think I should try yet again, but have no plans to. I've also been an active self-abuser... some unexpectedly recent. I'm just now coming to the realization I will never be truly safe...
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
![]() Anonymous46341, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#61
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I have no good words to offer Which might help counter all the
Possible trigger:
hugs and respect to all ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#62
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![]() As I talk with more and more people, it seems many of us somehow keep the self-harm or the suicide option on our minds to varying degrees. I am not sure of why this is the case. I have been given a few explanations,; yet those don't really ring true for me. Maybe it is completely different for everyone? Do you know which types of things make you think/feel you should try again? Don't feel you have to respond. I am very interested. I admire you and the messages you offer to the community via your signature line. I would not have guessed you feel this way about suicide, but I guess we never now about anyone, do we? I do NOT mean this in any judgmental manner. ![]() We can offer a great deal to our communities and still feel desperate in our private lives. For sure. I appreciate your sharing! ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Fuzzybear, Skeezyks, TunedOut, ~Christina
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![]() TunedOut, ~Christina
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#63
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![]() This is a very challenging world we live in. ![]() That is both the good news and the bad news! Sometimes it can seem like too much. Still other times, it invites us to do our very best! ![]() And on top of all of that, might our moods play into how we see our world on any given day? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? ![]() I love ya!!! ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Fuzzybear, TunedOut, ~Christina
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![]() Fuzzybear, TunedOut, ~Christina
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#64
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Seems funny to me to talk about this and be scared of the corona virus at the same time. Is it just me?
I know that I get very quiet and introverted when I'm feeling suicidal. I'm usually very extroverted.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#65
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![]() Something that jumped out at me is your " I'm just now coming to the realization I will never be truly safe" I feel that way also... Suicidal thoughts run through my mind very often I don't think you are in the minority with this issue. Be kind to yourself ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Skeezyks, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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#66
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Possible trigger:
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#67
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And to add to Blue's comment, it's horrible to not be able to get enough O2 to fill your lungs. I know from experience.
__________________
>< |
![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#68
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Something on my Pitutary gland ![]() Next day I saw Richard I was literally coming unglued, Im like omg this could kill me , will I suffer in pain? what about my daughter ? my husband? He said Okay lets think about this , You have chronic suicidal thinking and your okay with that..... but a brain tumor scares you??? Click.. I had zero control, I could not accept, I felt helpless. But feeling suicidal was/is okay because I have control of that. Its a control issue. I saw the specialist he said in the area its at typically they never grow much bigger.. So I have to get a Mri every year. My symptoms did ease a little bit, But I struggle with walking and parking. So I have a Adnoma just sitting in my brain ![]() Your fear is understandable ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() FooZe, Moose72, Nammu, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() FooZe, Moose72, Nammu, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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#69
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Great point, Moose!
![]() I think is about control in general. I know it is about control for me. That is the difference. ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() TunedOut
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![]() TunedOut
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#70
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Now I'm watching a show about various things that can destroy Earth from space.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() TunedOut
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#71
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I have had one serious attempt. I “attempted” once when I was 15 but it was more of an ultimatum to show everyone how serious things were rather than a true attempt. The second attempt, at age 19, was serious. Woke up in the ICU. Was hospitalized for seven weeks while receiving ECT treatments. Things got much better.
From the time I was 13 until I was 19 not a day went by when I wasn’t at least passively suicidal. After ECT this eased up until bipolar came and bit me in the *** again when I was 25. Then it was back to constant suicidal thoughts. For two years though I have been stable and had no sui thoughts. I really enjoy it.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous46341, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, wiretwister, ~Christina
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![]() Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#72
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We've been at least passively sui since our 20s. We're 36 now. We had several sui attempts in our 20s and early 30s but those were minor. Last year, in October and December we had serious attempts. Landed us in the ER each time for 24 hrs for the first one and 15 hrs the second. Transported to the psych hospital from there on commitment. They don't even give you a choice here with attempts, they put you on a 72 hr hold.
We've been having strong sui thoughts recently, also. Last couple of weeks... We are in IOP at the moment, the T asked if we need a higher level of care on Thursday. We told her no, mostly because we don't want to back up to PHP or into the hospital again. Chaos
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![]() Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Moose72, Nammu, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#73
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It's nice to hear from you. ![]() Thanks so much for sharing! I am sorry for all you suffer. You have so very much on your plate. I do know your chronic pain, alone, is extremely challenging (we used to post in the chronic pain forum together.). ![]() I do understand why you told the therapist what you told her; I am just very concerned about your safety. Maybe there are some specific signs you might watch for as indicators to get help as soon as possible? I am hoping there is a way for you to keep yourselves safe? ![]()
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, TunedOut, ~Christina
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![]() childofchaos831, Fuzzybear, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#74
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Hugs and much respect to all
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__________________
![]() |
![]() Anonymous46341, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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#75
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Quote:
Im glad your still here ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous46341, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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![]() childofchaos831, TunedOut, Wild Coyote
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