Bipolar check in #45

I would have like to have seen it, but last night we had a heck of a thunder and lightning storm, instead. It woke up my husband and me in the middle of the night.

How beautiful! Thanks for sharing the photo, bluebicycle!

bluebicycle- Hey thanks.

Are both your parents ill? Is your sister moving very far away ?

Are both your parents ill? No they are not and they are fairly young (60's). So I don't get it. She's moving 30 min away vs 5 min. before this I watched her kids some nights for her. She lives in the same park my parents just bought a trailer in to be near them. My only guess is she's manic right now. She wanted to move less then a week ago and now she's moving. Financially that's impossible for her. She now owns two homes and can't afford either without my parents help. So I'm really concerned.

I could not make out the pink, I don't think, but it was just gigantic. I took a couple of pictures, but they did not turn out...

Oh, all right. Wish I knew how to get rid of that funny-looking light...

Mum has a sore throat but can't see a doctor unless she tests negative. So we went though the drive though testing this morning. Now she has to wait 48-72 hours to get results then she can call for an appointment. If she's positive then they'll just tell her to stay home!

Delightful 50-mile ride last night, mostly after dusk, through the wilderness on the way to Mt. Hood and back. Saw maybe 8 people the whole way. Bizarre. Lots of cute bunnies, though, which was very cheerful

Watched the movie Midway yesterday as a distraction. Not great, really, but still, entertaining, I spose. I am not very knowledgeable about WW II. That said, I am not sure young people today are really fully aware of just how close they came to speaking Japanese and/or German permanently. I do believe that generation, not just of Americans, but also Aussies, Europeans, Russians--everyone--they quite literally saved the planet. I am often overwhelmed emotionally when I reflect on what those people sacrificed for all of us. Not really an outstanding film, but I was tearful at the end.

What those folks sacrificed for all of us is literally incalculable. It is why I take my free speech rights so incredibly seriously. Countless Americans literally died to ensure our collective ability, at least in this country, to say what we feel and think without fear of retribution. I believe they and their families should be honored by the exercise of those rights. Shutting people down verbally or in written form is immoral and dangerous. Evil lurks in the shadows. It hides behind the silence. Sunlight truky is the best disinfectant...

Oh No I hope its negative and I hate that it will take so long to get the results

sorry to hear that. I hope it's nothing serious.

you don't feel sick, do you? (sorry, haven't been keeping up with this thread)

Nope. I feel fine. Mum has had a sore throat for over a week and wants to see a doctor for it. That's the only symptom she has. But to see a doctor for her sore throat she has to test negative. Only then will they schedule an appointment.

A lot happened yesterday that I don't feel needs be said though it may help process. Emotions eventually go away, right?

Today I see my T so perhaps I'll talk with her about it.

All the best to yez.

that's good you're okay! I hope your mother gets her results back ASAP. I hate how everything these days is a huge waiting game.

I've often thought that we all wouldn't be here were it not for WWII. All the people who died- they never had kids. And all the people who made it home from the war and got married and had kids- the baby boomers- they wouldnt have been here were it not for the war. Plus all the usualy daily things that go on to influence who gets pregnant Like if they decide to have sex that day or not (assuming the woman is ovulating) , not to mention just what sperm fertilizes the egg. There are just so many variables to our being here at all.

I hope your T appointment goes well for you! I also hope you do talk to your therapist about yesterday. It's always good to get things off your chest so that they're not weighing you down, especially since mood and emotion are very intertwined.

27 push ups with a halfway break. This is hard! I used to love pushups but i wasnt carting around all this extra weight too.

Yes, why not? Talk with her. Perfect timung.

No possible way I could do that. Good job!!!!!!!!

Now my governor is requiring face masks for all customers of essential businesses like grocery stores and pharmacies. Also, the grocery store I always go to announced it will only let 20% of its capacity in at one time. I don’t exactly know how many people that is. Likely there will be long lines. Now with everyone out of work, there is no “better time” to go. Everyone is out all the time.

I’m feeling very upset and smothered by all of this. I understand that it’s necessary as my state has a very high number of cases/deaths but I just...I can’t. I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling.

have you tried wal-mart pickup? I did it just yesterday and a few weeks ago. All you do is open your trunk yourself and they place the groceries in there without touching anything (and they're wearing medical grade gloves too). Then you close your trunk yourself and that's it. No need to sign anything anymore.

wal-mart only lets people book out 1 day in advance, so there are always openings if you check every single day. the reservations open at 12am daily. you do not need to put anything in your cart online in order to reserve a spot. when you click "reserve time slot," your time slot is reserved regardless. just make sure you have a wal-mart account and that you're logged in in order to reserve.

That's terribly inconvenient what your grocery store did. I don't think my local ones have such a capacity restriction. Who knows. I had heard about the face masks. Luckily, my husband and I have a small supply. At least enough for now, for the amount that we go to stores.

I understand how you feel. It will be nice when things loosen up again.

So to Moose and @bluebicycle: You're both right, of course, I should talk about it with her. The thing is, I mentioned the tip of the iceberg last night to my wife and ended up crying. I really dislike crying in front of my T.

I think it's perfectly okay and perfectly healthy to cry in front of your therapist. By crying, you are letting out that inner hurt that you've been bottling in for so long. The pressure in the bottle has built up and it needs to be let out in some way so that it does not continue to consume/overwhelm you. Crying is the easiest way to do that and it's a very soothing relief compared to a lot of other things like exercise or painting/coloring. However, you wouldn't be the first person to cry in front of her and definitely wouldn't be the last either.

I cried in front of my first pdoc during our very first meeting. I also cried in front of my 2nd therapist. They were totally okay with it and did not judge me. Therapy and pdoc appts are judgment free zones.

I was too scared to go to the ENT specialist today. I rescheduled it for next Tuesday afternoon when I’ll have a mask and gloves. I wish it wasn’t necessary.

I’ve been working on a program that eliminates limiting beliefs and I was able to get rid of the belief that I’m not good enough and the pain around my adoption that formed that belief. I feel lighter and freer now. It’s a good day.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.