Bipolar check-in #46

Sorry, Spikes. I have been there a million times. Maybe see if you can find something small to do that might send your mind to something else for a little while. A little walk. Movie or a good show. Music. CUte dog videos cheer me up. Pictures of floweres and babies make me feel better. Just a few thoughts.

Or pictures of bears, panda bears, spirit bears, koala bears

Hi spikes, you don't know me. I'm one of the new peeps on the block. I wanted to say that I'm sorry that things aren't feeling where they should be. I've been there. Recently. I also know that a lot of the suggestions and advice that I could share might be too heavy to try. So I'll give you this. Do one thing. And then celebrate that. And then do another when you can. That's how I get through the darkest times. Celebrate each success. Give yourself a lot of grace because you are in a place of hurt. Its totally okay to hurt. But don't give up on the relationships that you have in your life, that's the depression trying to get you to isolate. Do the opposite if you can. Explain what you can about what you are going through to them.

And if you need to talk, my PM box is open, friend. I'm still pretty fragile myself, and might not have great advice, but I can listen.

Do one thing.

Good post

I just cant keep up on here, I dont think I have ever been this worn down

Gentle Hugs to anyone in need

Christina

I updated my "journal" thread. Long story short, I had therapy today. It was another great conversation, but I'm still wondering if I solved anything...kinda blurry. hoping sleep will help that.

completely forgot to mention on there (guess I'll add it now) i still haven't started my med increase. H went to the pharmacy today, but it was closed, probably due to the riots/protesting. sigh! sad and scary times!

sending peace and hugs to everyone!

feeling okay.

I had a phone call yesterday (wasn't terrible, but wasn't the result I wanted either) so a little depressed over that

but apart from that I'm not bad.

ate well yesterday, listened to a lot of music, just chilled.

obviously didn't sleep but yeah

I did actually get my period this morning. I was very surprised. I didn’t get it last time and it was 4 days late this time. It’s supposed to stop anyways. I’m glad I wasn’t so angry and moody and physically sick these past 12 days for no reason. My mom didn’t really see my PMDD this time but my therapist sure saw it. I kinda was taking it out on her a bit.

My therapist thinks I am hypomanic because of my shopping, calling people all the time, racing thoughts, distractability, pacing, and smiling (since I normally have flat affect). I told her my sleep is fine, though, sooooo

I do not think I have racing thoughts, but whatever.

Anyways, she did not explicitly say to contact my pdoc, so I am not going to. Also, when I think about it this morning... I think I am just bored and shopping out of boredom. I mean, shopping gives me something to do.

I just hope I get work done at some point because I am REALLY STRUGGLING with distractions. She did give me advice, so I am going to give it an honest shot. Here's hoping it works...

It's great you're smiling.
I hope your T's advice works well for you.
If not, might you consider calling pdoc?

I am a little concerned about your job. I know you can ace it all when not so distracted.

Much Love

You must truly feel terrible. It takes an unbelievable amount of stress/overwhelm for you to need to retreat from PC. You're very dedicated here; yet, I am so grateful you know when to take a break.

Please do take special care, my friend.
I am here for you anytime.

It's great to have you posting again.
You sound like you are doing well.
Much Love

Thanks for sharing about your day. My day had a lot of anxiety but other than that it wasn’t bad.

Maybe I need to work on being less “guarded” with my words... or maybe the opposite

Respect to all and love to those who are struggling

I’d settle for having a “great” conversation with a therapist. Without them judging me. Ideally I would like to “solve” something but that is not a requirement, especially in one session.

ETA maybe that is partly where I went wrong before, no idea

I guess I believe in the idea of “person centred therapy” ... ugh I have no idea where I am going with this post, almost certainly “nowhere”

do not express any opinion Fuzzy bear that makes you both **** and ****

.... yeah right....

Distractability is another sign of hypomania...

Got a fair amount done on both books yesterday. Sending off the first 10 chapters of the hospital book to a potential editor/well-known author/pal for their initial impressions. Hope they think it is decent. We shall see. Strongly considering just being my own agent and publishing electronically. Ebooks aer so big in the USA now. I would obviously sell more going through an agent, but it is such a hassle. They are so officious, in my opinion. You would think they were LAPD homicide detectives or something, the way they treat potential authors. Meaning, they seem to feel that what they do is much more important than what anyone else in this nation does. So weird. So out of touch wiht reality. So, why even deal with that? I don't need them. If it's good, people will figure that out and it will sell.

As an American, just so extremely proud of all these former military generals and ex-presidents speaking their minds about erosion of Constitutional rights and setting the military against our citizens. So proud of them. Free speech is truly the gift that keeps on giving, century after century. Our founding fathers were absolute freaking GENIUSES!!!!!!!

Love and hugs to all.

Well, I guess it doesn't matter if I call my pdoc or not because my therapist told me she called him.

I think she knows that I generally *don't* call my pdoc, which is why she probably tells him behind my back. To be fair, she's not wrong...

But yeah, I had called my therapist up for a question and then she was like, "btw, I left your psychiatrist a voicemail."

So I guess that settles it. Who knows what the hell she said to him. I guess I'll find out when his useless "assistant" calls back.

I am trying to switch pdocs and was gonna do it next week because I am too busy right now to fill out all the paperwork, but I wanted to make sure I was stable before doing so. However, unfortunately, my therapist thinks I am not stable, and she knows me better than anyone else, so there's that...

I know this is maybe Not the right place to say this but I don’t agree ... I think Fuzzy’s opinions are valuable And often wise.

Blue I can somewhat relate to what feels like some confusion here (amongst mood swings etc)

Thanks fuzzy

- - -

My pdoc's useless assistant called me and said that I need to have a pdoc appointment ASAP. So, tomorrow morning it is... 9:45am.

I have no idea what my therapist said in voicemail. I really don't think this situation is all that bad. I am certainly not delusional or anything, and my sleep is perfectly fine, but my pdoc's assistant made it seem like my life depended on this appointment. lol.

I still wonder if I am just bored and shopping out of pure boredom. However, I really need to shred my credit card and report it as "lost" so that I get a new number, but at the same time, if I get prescribed a new med tomorrow, how am I supposed to pay for it with no credit card? So maybe I will just shred it after I go to the pharmacy. I do have a paper shredder capable of chewing up CDs, so I will just put the card in the CD shredder slot.

A friend of mine in the UK writes. She chooses to do ebooks and does quite well. She has a writing partner now and they do a great job as a team. They market by arranging interviews on radio shows , internet podcasts, FB events, etc.

She had also alerted groups who might be very interested in her work, gave invites to her "new release" parties on FB. She has had great luck with Amazon. She volunteers to assist other writers by volunteering to edit their work. She has quite a network of writers/editors, etc after 10 years of writing and self-publishing. She had a book signing party for her first trilogy, which had a limited number of actual books (I mean , non-ebooks) and the remainder were ebooks. She limited her signed copies to #20 copies. (I have signed copy #1 of her first trilogy.)

Just sharing a few ideas which may or may not be your style.

You are very articulate, I think you might do very well to do a TEDTalk (they can be quite brief) and release your book at the same time. I think the talks can be done without flying out to a certain destination? I hope so, as that option is important for the disabled unable to make stressful and/or expensive trips. There are lots of very popular podcasts which tend to appeal to certain groups of special interests. Just a few thoughts...

Oh, wow! Me, too! I am so relieved some of our trustworthy and wise "leaders" are taking a stand. It's an incredible relief to very many. Our Constitution is so very important. It is an incredible piece of work, a labor of Love .

Yes!
I love that Fuzzybear!
Great input and offerings of all types to this community.

Free speech is truly the gift that keeps on giving. So true, and even for bears

So thanks for that my friend

Thank you Wild Coyote

Much love