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  #51  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Trippin2.0 View Post
Downloaded an App called My Therapy.
Not only does it remind me to take my meds, records my appointments and keeps inventory of my meds... It also requires that I confirm whether I have taken or skipped the dosage.

It's a cool app, you can even share it with a loved one or your Dr to keep them in the loop...

It can also track things like weight, blood pressure and who knows what else.

I have hope this will help me stay compliant.
I put medisafe on my phone.
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  #52  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 05:02 PM
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I just took a milligram of Xanax, 20 milligrams of melatonin, and 25 milligrams of visteral. I’m just ****ing frustrated right now with everything. So far I’m just a bit spacey and I have a Charlie horse and I have slight stomach cramps. Nothing extreme.
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  #53  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 05:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I just took a milligram of Xanax, 20 milligrams of melatonin, and 25 milligrams of visteral. I’m just ****ing frustrated right now with everything. So far I’m just a bit spacey and I have a Charlie horse and I have slight stomach cramps. Nothing extreme.

Is it when you're frustrated that you mix all the pills together? Does doing that ever help in any way?
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  #54  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 06:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I just took a milligram of Xanax, 20 milligrams of melatonin, and 25 milligrams of visteral. I’m just ****ing frustrated right now with everything. So far I’m just a bit spacey and I have a Charlie horse and I have slight stomach cramps. Nothing extreme.
Isn't that an s-load of melatonin?
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  #55  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 06:21 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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10mg is considered pretty much the max for melatonin. 10 never did anything for me, but I've never tried higher. I know some people take 15 or even 20, but it's not recommended.

Md, do you take that mix to fall asleep?
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  #56  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 07:06 PM
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Losing control again. Did well for 2 months after CFS got involved but now off meds and drinking for the last 2 weeks. My GP reminded me of my past episodes and thinking about those brought me back here today. I see my pdoc next week but not sure that will help anyways.
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  #57  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
Losing control again. Did well for 2 months after CFS got involved but now off meds and drinking for the last 2 weeks. My GP reminded me of my past episodes and thinking about those brought me back here today. I see my pdoc next week but not sure that will help anyways.
What helps with the drinking?

Hugs.
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  #58  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 07:35 PM
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What helps with the drinking?

Hugs.
Being stable haha. I dont know talking to this one person (addictions specialist) was helping a little i think but I havent seen him in over a month. I was supposed to make an appointment but I didnt.
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utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
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  #59  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
Being stable haha. I dont know talking to this one person (addictions specialist) was helping a little i think but I havent seen him in over a month. I was supposed to make an appointment but I didnt.
AA maybe? Lotta support there.
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  #60  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
AA maybe? Lotta support there.
I will consider AA again. I know they would welcome me back if i choose to go but im really enjoying the drinking and Im afraid to give it up right now.
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Depakote
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I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
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  #61  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 08:12 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
I will consider AA again. I know they would welcome me back if i choose to go but im really enjoying the drinking and Im afraid to give it up right now.

Well, I never have enjoyed alcohol, so I don't know...but it sounds sad to me that you're drinking to feel stable. Or to feel like you feel stable.
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  #62  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 08:35 PM
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Alcohol wld make me depressed on like, a day, prolly.
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  #63  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 08:49 PM
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I spent today organizing my flickr account. Making new albums and labeling pix. I ate too much today- went out to eat with a friend which doubled my calories for the day! Carbs were ok though. If anybody wants to see my photos, pm me!
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  #64  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 10:53 PM
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Finally feeling real most of the day. I'm still numb and feel like I'm going to cry any second but it's progress.
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  #65  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
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I got my piercing done! Was feeling especially low and uncomfortable due to SH urges, so I figured that was a better way. Only problem is, I can’t see it! It’s an inner ear piercing (daith) and the piercer put a small barbell in instead of a ring. It’s so small it’s buried in my ear! I can’t even see it in the mirror. But it’s ok, after about six months I can change it to a ring if I want. And just knowing it’s there is good for me.

I also made an appointment to cover up the Harry Potter tattoo I got last year with a different Harry Potter tattoo. The one I have had a quote, but the writing is so damn small you can’t even read it. So I’m covering the quote up and I will get the quote bigger on the other arm eventually.

I got a call from one of my coworkers telling me the school plan is in email, but I can’t remember the username to my email, since I haven’t checked it since June. She left a voicemail so I sent her a text asking her to tell me the username structure (we all have the same structure, just using our own name) so I can check. I’m quite anxious to know what’s going on.
Hey !!!

I got both my ears done ( Daith) i already had the industrial and that is hella hard to keep.. But anyway they put this ugly barbell in and not 2 weeks later I needed to get a MRI of my brain, Anyway I went back they took them out put plugs in ( whoa pain) but thankfully i left the plug in as I needed 2 more brain MRI'S in the next couple weeks.. Anyway now I just have the lever back circles and cant imagine wearing anything bigger.

I had 3 or 4 tattoos in mind but when my psoriasis exploded and I wound up on a Biologic med with PSA I dont want to risk the chance for me of having a plaque explode at site of tattoo ... Sucks But 5 will have to do.. My daughter is getting a couple revised that she was clearly Manic ... She has over 26 now. All beautiful work but now shes working to mingle all on her one arm for a sleeve .. I envy her ability to get them... Kinda of a ultimate high for some of us

I hope you get your password sorted, hell I forgot mine here for when I use tapatalk

My brain is aggitated mush!!!

Take good care of yourself
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  #66  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 11:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0 View Post
Downloaded an App called My Therapy.
Not only does it remind me to take my meds, records my appointments and keeps inventory of my meds... It also requires that I confirm whether I have taken or skipped the dosage.
It's a cool app, you can even share it with a loved one or your Dr to keep them in the loop...

It can also track things like weight, blood pressure and who knows what else.

I have hope this will help me stay compliant.
Or I could nag you daily I'm going to get this, as a reminder for Steves meds and appts ( well me too ) , so many to keep track of. New phone is coming alone S L O W L Y .. but YOU saved all my pics for me...

Love ya Sis
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  #67  
Old Aug 13, 2020, 11:39 PM
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New phone with lots of useless APPS and the ones I need are taking forever because of this dial up speed internet ! I might drive intowards town to get a actual signal and get things I need on my phone.... But I am releived to have it. I depend on mine for so much..

Ok I am going for a med take down to sleep. I just cant stand another minute of feeling this way

Hugs to anyone in need !
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  #68  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 12:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
Finally feeling real most of the day. I'm still numb and feel like I'm going to cry any second but it's progress.
Hugs, MM. Hope you feel better!
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  #69  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 04:02 AM
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turns out the sink was easier to fix than I intended, and it got done yesterday so no more leaks on to the floor which is good (so no more change of me slipping)

showered today.

body didn't provide much for me in the way of movement so it was quite painfull. ugg

needed too though: was quite incontinent this morning. came out of the blue, just like that.

no real plans for today: just have mcdonalds later which I am looking forward too.

it is cooler today too. I still have my fan on, but not sure I am going to need the cooling spray today
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  #70  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 05:00 AM
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Will be heading into work today. Have a couple interviews lined up for this morning. Offered someone a job yesterday but not sure if she'll accept. Really hoping we get someone in soon. Plus side of all the overtime I've been working is I made enough extra money to cover the cost of my cabin trip I'm doing in a couple of months. Bad part of all the stress I've been dealing with is that I started smoking again. I really need to stop.

Have an appointment with my pdoc on Sunday. He's been nice enough to see me on Sundays the last several months knowing my situation. I've had to cancel all my other appointments. Need to reschedule them soon. Looking forward to seeing him. We're actually meeting in person for the first time since the beginning of the year.
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  #71  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 05:10 AM
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


Is it when you're frustrated that you mix all the pills together? Does doing that ever help in any way?
Yeah it’s when I’m frustrated. I just woke up 20 minutes ago still feeling frustrated. So I guess it doesn’t help.
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  #72  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 05:11 AM
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Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Isn't that an s-load of melatonin?
I have heard it’s not a good does to take but not not a dangerous one.
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  #73  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 07:56 AM
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self destructive as **** am I. Not even in a bipolar episode, no when I'm sober I'm not hallucinating, I'm sleeping well, have no real symptoms. this is my normal. my normal is f'd up.
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  #74  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 08:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5 View Post
I will consider AA again. I know they would welcome me back if i choose to go but im really enjoying the drinking and Im afraid to give it up right now.
I hear ya, I do. Been there, totally
But you must also know in your heart by now that alcohol is the Road to Nowhere for anyone w bipolar disorder.
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  #75  
Old Aug 14, 2020, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
turns out the sink was easier to fix than I intended, and it got done yesterday so no more leaks on to the floor which is good (so no more change of me slipping)

showered today.

body didn't provide much for me in the way of movement so it was quite painfull. ugg

needed too though: was quite incontinent this morning. came out of the blue, just like that.

no real plans for today: just have mcdonalds later which I am looking forward too.

it is cooler today too. I still have my fan on, but not sure I am going to need the cooling spray today
Hugs, vortex. You are making me want McDonalds for first time in years.
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