[Crazy Hitch]

I'm feeling a bit less wired today. Just a bit more chill. But it's still difficult to focus.

showered today and did my hair

shopping arived

had an issue earlier logging in but I seem to be posting fine now- it did panic me though!. I'd be so lost without this site.

[*Beth*]

Oh, wow...the inability to login had me worried. I couldn't imagine what was going on, until PC finally posted their information thingy.

A gorgeous morning and I wish I was out walking. I always have to wait until med hangover allows me to stand on my feet enough to take a walk. Otherwise, feels like I might get sick or pass out. But then, by afternoon it's warm and I don't walk as far as I might otherwise.

I'm wondering how bpcyclist's dinner party went?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Update; My case manager for housing emailed someone higher up at the new complex about possibly lowering the rent by $30 with some reason about how she figures out my portion of the rent. Well, they wrote back (CC me) and they said yes! I thought that was going to be a major snaffu, but its not! I still haven't signed the lease and I move a week from today! They said it would be "closer to move in" but do they mean the day before or what? In addition to this, I have to change my address various places including the Secretary of State (kind like DMV) but Secretary of State is closed! There must be a way to do it online so they can send you your sticker for the back of your license? But I can't really do any of that until I move. I did change my address online with the post office, today though. N3 has to do that still because after I move I won't be able to get his unforwarded mail from this mail box I have now. So yeah, lots on my list to do. And N1 wants my couch! The old one, that is. She says she loves it. Go figure. It IS fairly comfy to sleep on. Saturday, we pick up the new couch and deliver the old one to N1. So my new couch will be at my old place for a few days. Saturday is also N3's birthday - 19! I think he's going to need to come help with the new couch before he sails off into his birthday with others. And I'm getting my absentee ballot in the mail any day now, and N3 has to go down and get one in person because he never returned the form in the mail. But once he does that, he'll be good. See? Red tape! And so much of it! I feel kind of guilty that I didn't do much today in terms of packing, but I did get some things figured out so that's good. We are really close to being all packed. My mom has to come take some of my "overflow" stuff that was under the kitchen sink- cleaning supplies. Hope everyone is well! It's a warmish sunny day here. I hope there will be no rain on Thursday. Oh and someone is supposed to get the piano on Sunday, and the washer too, maybe even the organ! We'll see.

Yay on the thirty dollars.

[Mountaindewed]

I was out of it last night. I was off and on sleeping from 1PM-9AM this morning. I was up though a lot last night. I was very physically hot. That was my main issue. As a result I was very anxious and feeling sick because of it. But it didn’t feel like covid or the flu or anything like that. I just really wanted the AC on but my mom wouldn’t turn it on. At one point I had 3 fans going. Today I felt a lot better like I just felt so much cooler. So I googled it and apparently I was having bad hot flashes. I had no idea they could make you feel like that. Like physically sick and anxious. But my mom was all like “yeah they can make you sick and the air wouldn’t have worked.” I also am pretty sure I have a UTI and I have a call into my doctor to see if they can just fax over a prescription for an antibiotic. I really don’t want to go in if I don’t have to.

[Moose72]

I know there is a post about this in technical support but did any of you get an error message yesterday saying the security of the site was compromised and to "click here to go back to safety". It was down for less than 24 hours but it seemed like forever.

Plus, tomorrow I get my new couch and get rid of the old one. (It's going to N1- she really wants it!) So lots of pre-moving things. Plus someone is coming to get the piano and maybe the washing machine. We are also getting the dresser (mine since I was 5) to N3's place.

[bpcyclist]

Well, the dinner party came off fine. I made ahi with a nice marinade, roasted potatoes, asparagae, and I made a key lime pie. It was pretty good. I had to clean my whole house. It was hard. But I did it. First time in 8 years. Yay!!!

I had technical difficulties getting to this site for about 24 hours. I was really upset thinking that Healthline shut it down. But here we are today A-okay. I started on another forum at mentalhealthforum.net. Maybe we can all move over there if Healthline ever does shut this site down. I'd sure hate to lose touch with all of you!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Well, the dinner party came off fine. I made ahi with a nice marinade, roasted potatoes, asparagae, and I made a key lime pie. It was pretty good. I had to clean my whole house. It was hard. But I did it. First time in 8 years. Yay!!!

Alright! You go! I need to vacuum this place before I leave for good.

[Mountaindewed]

Yeah I got the message and I also thought healthline shut it down as well. I thought “they couldn’t even give us a warning?”

[Polibeth]

Our COVID tests came back negative for everyone in our household - so we are really grateful and were all able to return to work today!

Still around, I guess. I haven't done much but today my mood has been low, with bouts of anger. Not real anger but mild annoyance is triggering an out-of-proportion response at times. I don't know what I am so frustrated with. This is my life. Ever realize you're doing something odd and while there is probably no subconscious reason behind it you can tie two things together? Let me explain -- Since I've been here, I've yet to sleep under the covers in my bed. A sign perhaps I don't feel I should be here? haha -- I'm over thinking it, but it is kinda odd I still haven't gotten around to just sleeping under the covers.

I know this will negate everything I say and suddenly I have a label that nothing I feel or think is valid but I haven't been taking my meds for a long while now. I still haven't found the right ones. In my experience I always feel crappy but this way it's without side effects and while not ideal and not smart to stop like that, I'm not spiraling out of control. I'm level headed enough. I just don't know what to do right now. Just suffer through these days and try to force a plan to live life. At least until I feel I am "even steven" with everyone I owe. What the hell do I know?

Anyway, just ranting -- no need to lecture me about meds or how stupid I am for not applying for SSDI or whatnot. In fact , better you read this message and move on. It's a rant and nothing more.

[Coolbreeze74]

Moose, right on on the reduced rent! So happy for you!

I had a two and a half hour panic attack the other night. Much better than 4 hours. Panic attacks only last 20-30 minutes. But if you're having hour long panic attacks it means you're having one after another. No break in between. I looked it up.

I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety too. It just absolutely sucks!

My eye is finally healing. For about 4 days it was watering so much it just waters down my cheek and is really painful.

I called my sons pdoc. He said my son has to call him from now on. My son wont call. He says hes doing the best he can on any medication. I don't agree, he hasn't showered in awhile and still thinks hes drugged. I wish he would advocate for himself.

Hope everyone is having a good day. hugs to those struggling.

[Nammu]

Yes on the technical stuff and it was still acting up this morning. I tried to post and got a 409 message, not found. I too thought healthline was shutting it down

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius

Still around, I guess. I haven't done much but today my mood has been low, with bouts of anger. Not real anger but mild annoyance is triggering an out-of-proportion response at times. I don't know what I am so frustrated with. This is my life. Ever realize you're doing something odd and while there is probably no subconscious reason behind it you can tie two things together? Let me explain -- Since I've been here, I've yet to sleep under the covers in my bed. A sign perhaps I don't feel I should be here? haha -- I'm over thinking it, but it is kinda odd I still haven't gotten around to just sleeping under the covers.

I know this will negate everything I say and suddenly I have a label that nothing I feel or think is valid but I haven't been taking my meds for a long while now. I still haven't found the right ones. In my experience I always feel crappy but this way it's without side effects and while not ideal and not smart to stop like that, I'm not spiraling out of control. I'm level headed enough. I just don't know what to do right now. Just suffer through these days and try to force a plan to live life. At least until I feel I am "even steven" with everyone I owe. What the hell do I know?

Anyway, just ranting -- no need to lecture me about meds or how stupid I am for not applying for SSDI or whatnot. In fact , better you read this message and move on. It's a rant and nothing more.

Describe the thought process behind the no meds thing.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

Moose, right on on the reduced rent! So happy for you!

I had a two and a half hour panic attack the other night. Much better than 4 hours. Panic attacks only last 20-30 minutes. But if you're having hour long panic attacks it means you're having one after another. No break in between. I looked it up.

I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety too. It just absolutely sucks!

My eye is finally healing. For about 4 days it was watering so much it just waters down my cheek and is really painful.

I called my sons pdoc. He said my son has to call him from now on. My son wont call. He says hes doing the best he can on any medication. I don't agree, he hasn't showered in awhile and still thinks hes drugged. I wish he would advocate for himself.

Hope everyone is having a good day. hugs to those struggling.

hthing.hang in there, Breeze. Something has to break at some point.

[Coolbreeze74]

Oh I forgot to mention, I'm really liking my new therapist! I settled on doing mindfulness as what we will focus on. Later I can do the trauma stuff. I need help with this anxiety and panic attacks right now. I did a cool body scan meditation that I'm to do 4 times this week. I'm to do it in a non judgmental way. Meaning dont judge if my mind gets distracted from the meditation. And to do it with a beginner's mind. It will take about 8 weeks to feel the benefit but if I do it will be worth it. Thought I would add that, lol....

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

hthing.hang in there, Breeze. Something has to break at some point.

Thanks! I'm trying to just accept that I will have hour long panic attacks right now. I'm getting blood work done again bc my iron was low and when I first started on iron supplements I didn't have a panic attack in 9 days! So it might still be low. So I will need to increase it.

[~Christina]

Well I can say its official..... Steve is feeling much better he's been working on something everyday, that hasn't happened all year.

He is out on the tractor bush hogging our land!!! I'm beyond grateful he is doing well.. He loves his tractor

I want to thank you all for giving me such support always, Its been the most difficult year of our lives together.

Ya'll are amazing people

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well I can say its official..... Steve is feeling much better he's been working on something everyday, that hasn't happened all year.

He is out on the tractor bush hogging our land!!! I'm beyond grateful he is doing well.. He loves his tractor

I want to thank you all for giving me such support always, Its been the most difficult year of our lives together.

Ya'll are amazing people

So glad Steve is doing better! That's awesome!

[Nammu]

Oh yay, a man and his tractor!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oh yay, a man and his tractor!

IKR

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Well, the dinner party came off fine. I made ahi with a nice marinade, roasted potatoes, asparagae, and I made a key lime pie. It was pretty good. I had to clean my whole house. It was hard. But I did it. First time in 8 years. Yay!!!

I wish I had been invited! That's exactly the kind of meal I yearn for, including the key lime pie. Hubby doesn't like asparagus, but then again he need not be invited 😁.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I wish I had been invited! That's exactly the kind of meal I yearn for, including the key lime pie. Hubby doesn't like asparagus, but then again he need not be invited 😁.

I know, it sounds so great! I was just thinking it sounds so much better than what I have planned tonight. I'm making chicken fried rice, except I'm using riced cauliflower instead of rice. My husband is suspect, but he takes it in stride. Last night I made 'pasta' out of zuchinni noodles. I'm on a weird roll. Too bad bpcyclist can't cook for us tonight.

Are you home? I hope the trip back went well.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well I can say its official..... Steve is feeling much better he's been working on something everyday, that hasn't happened all year.

He is out on the tractor bush hogging our land!!! I'm beyond grateful he is doing well.. He loves his tractor

I want to thank you all for giving me such support always, Its been the most difficult year of our lives together.

Ya'll are amazing people

Yay! Hooray!!