[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

First real rain today. Feeling a little sad. We need it, obviously. I have just had so many years od fall-winter depression and I tend to get quite frightened this time of year. Waiting.

Maybe it will be okay this year.

I have anticipatory anxiety about the shortened days. Ridiculous, because I appreciate the cooler weather. Talk about mind/brain (dis)connection...

I hope this year is the year that brings you gentle peace instead of depression.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am not feeling mentally well still. I had nightmares all last night. I woke up in a state of anxiety that I’m still fighting right now. I managed to force a half a bagel down my throat after I realized we had no other breakfast food in the house.

I’m just thankful my student is suspended until Tuesday. I just have to sit and make it through the day. All the chatter in the classroom is bothering my head. Too much noise. And the students aren’t even here yet! It’s just my coworkers.

I just want to go home and go back to bed.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Polibeth

Our whole household had to get tested for COVID after husband came down with fever and cough. I cannot go to work (brand new part-time job) until we all get negative test results. I hate to miss work.

Worried about husband - his fever was 103 now it's down to 100.5 but still. Son and I feel fine.

Prayers. Hugs. Love.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Same here. Sending best wishes and good thoughts that you escape it this year.

Aww, thank you, Jennifer.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I have anticipatory anxiety about the shortened days. Ridiculous, because I appreciate the cooler weather. Talk about mind/brain (dis)connection...

I hope this year is the year that brings you gentle peace instead of depression.

Seems like this is going around. Hugs.

[MuddyBoots]

Possible trigger:

broken bottle+thumb=lotsablood. It hurts lol I'm so stupid.

Seeing some early warning signs for hypomania. Or maybe I just do stupid things. Last night was...interesting. Kinda pissed right now because I forget?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Possible trigger:

broken bottle+thumb=lotsablood. It hurts lol I'm so stupid.

Seeing some early warning signs for hypomania. Or maybe I just do stupid things. Last night was...interesting. Kinda pissed right now because I forget?

Just be careful with the emails and the spending.

[Soupe du jour]

I am very behind here, I am afraid.

Christina, it is so lovely to read that Steve is much better. I'm glad you're getting a break from the heat and adjusting to the Seroquel a bit.

Moose, good luck with your move. I'll be knowing exactly what you're going through soon.

Wildflowerchild, I am glad you got support from your colleagues and a bit of a break from the student you mentioned.

Otroo, excellent that your bill came in far below what was expected. It always feels nice when that happens and I see that as a sign of an honest mechanic.

[Soupe du jour]

Well, we're in Paris again, but just an airport hotel. We have no desire to go into the city. We're tired, and frankly I am not that well. No, surely not covid. More the injury some may remember me mentioning the other day. Yes, I know a couple folks here recommended the doctor. Actually, I plan to go to my gp as soon as I get home, assuming that I am still not in good shape. I certainly hope it doesn't worsen enough to warrant it in France. It has, indeed, worsened in some ways. I am not sure exactly what the injury is, despite knowing how I injured myself (fall on steep spiral staircase). Something with a rib/back and neck? Who knows! My legs, toe, and elbow are fine now, with max, residual fading bruises. Gotta be honest and say the causes of the fall were likely a combo of carbamazepine (Tegretol) clumsiness and stress, not that spiral staircases aren't dangerous on their own. Also stubbed my toe yesterday and nearly tripped on a sidewalk curb.

Tomorrow afternoon we return to the US via Montreal, Canada. It will be a long arduous day!

Czech Republic airport officials have been quite tough on me, as an American. Some may recall that they almost didn't let me into Czech Republic from a flight from Spain, despite being married to a Czech citizen. Today, some very nasty airport official made a bit of a deal about me even in departures, asking if I had residency in Czech Republic. As with the arrival, a different official said to let me go. Next time I go to Czech Republic (likely in December), I will have an address in Czech Republic and a copy of my marriage certificate. That should hopefully prevent any hassles. I was even married in Czech Republic (in Prague), so can bring the Czech version. I also have a translated version explaining why my last name is different in Czech Republic. They sure can't question if I'm anyone else, but with the same name. From my internet search research, I am the only person in the world with my precise name. The one and only 😉! There should definitely not be a problem getting home to the US. However, legally we are supposed to quarantine for 14 days after arrival. No contact grocery deliveries are easy. Hubby is still working from home. We will have some workers over, but can mostly steer clear of them.

[MuddyBoots]

Maybe not hypomanic, just all over the place. Charting my mood and I think I've just designed a good amusement park ride.

I can see why my therapist and APRN don't want me as their patient/client. If I were a professional, I would give up on me and dread my appointments too. I'd kick myself out of groups too. I can understand where they're coming from. I gotta learn how to respect "the professionals" and their ******** rules, requests, and expectations because afterall I am paying to get some form of treatment from them. I've some apologizing to do.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Well, we're in Paris again, but just an airport hotel. We have no desire to go into the city. We're tired, and frankly I am not that well. No, surely not covid. More the injury some may remember me mentioning the other day. Yes, I know a couple folks here recommended the doctor. Actually, I plan to go to my gp as soon as I get home, assuming that I am still not in good shape. I certainly hope it doesn't worsen enough to warrant it in France. It has, indeed, worsened in some ways. I am not sure exactly what the injury is, despite knowing how I injured myself (fall on steep spiral staircase). Something with a rib/back and neck? Who knows! My legs, toe, and elbow are fine now, with max, residual fading bruises. Gotta be honest and say the causes of the fall were likely a combo of carbamazepine (Tegretol) clumsiness and stress, not that spiral staircases aren't dangerous on their own. Also stubbed my toe yesterday and nearly tripped on a sidewalk curb.

Tomorrow afternoon we return to the US via Montreal, Canada. It will be a long arduous day!

Czech Republic airport officials have been quite tough on me, as an American. Some may recall that they almost didn't let me into Czech Republic from a flight from Spain, despite being married to a Czech citizen. Today, some very nasty airport official made a bit of a deal about me even in departures, asking if I had residency in Czech Republic. As with the arrival, a different official said to let me go. Next time I go to Czech Republic (likely in December), I will have an address in Czech Republic and a copy of my marriage certificate. That should hopefully prevent any hassles. I was even married in Czech Republic (in Prague), so can bring the Czech version. I also have a translated version explaining why my last name is different in Czech Republic. They sure can't question if I'm anyone else, but with the same name. From my internet search research, I am the only person in the world with my precise name. The one and only 😉! There should definitely not be a problem getting home to the US. However, legally we are supposed to quarantine for 14 days after arrival. No contact grocery deliveries are easy. Hubby is still working from home. We will have some workers over, but can mostly steer clear of them.

I hope you hea up quickly, Soupe. Safe travels.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Maybe not hypomanic, just all over the place. Charting my mood and I think I've just designed a good amusement park ride.

I can see why my therapist and APRN don't want me as their patient/client. If I were a professional, I would give up on me and dread my appointments too. I'd kick myself out of groups too. I can understand where they're coming from. I gotta learn how to respect "the professionals" and their ******** rules, requests, and expectations because afterall I am paying to get some form of treatment from them. I've some apologizing to do.

Be cautious with your decisions. Hugs!!

[bpcyclist]

Having my pal and his wife over for dinner. Hope I can pull it off. He visited me in the hospital a lot. I just love them so much. Have not made dinner for anyone on 8 years. Nervous.

[Mountaindewed]

I think I should be feeling on top of the world today.... but I don’t. I saw my therapist for the first time in 6 months and it went really good and I was super happy to see her in person but I don’t know if it was just too much to take in at one time or what. She had a face shield on which we were both distracted by. I guess I just kinda feel blah from it for some reason. She told me surgeons are not known for their bedside manner so to not take it personally. I’m just super tired today for some reason. I thought I slept decently last night. Not perfect but not bad.

[Gabyunbound]

In therapy today I worked on trauma I had never worked through before. It was very hard. It's still very hard...

She told me to be especially kind to myself today. She mentioned the sea otters. I love watching them frolic and swim on a live cam on the Monterey Bay Aquarium website; it calms me.

It's cloudy today. It fits. I'm going to order my favorite food (pizza) and take my meds very early so I can go to bed early.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

In therapy today I worked on trauma I had never worked through before. It was very hard. It's still very hard...

She told me to be especially kind to myself today. She mentioned the sea otters. I love watching them frolic and swim on a live cam on the Monterey Bay Aquarium website; it calms me.

It's cloudy today. It fits. I'm going to order my favorite food (pizza) and take my meds very early so I can go to bed early.

Good post. I'm sending peaceful, calming thoughts. I love watching sea otters frolic and swim.

[Fuzzybear]

deleted my post

It was re the dentist grrr

[Nammu]

Just in from sitting outside. I decided in the cold dark of January that I would sit outside on all the nice days and practice gratefulness and thankfulness. For the most part I have done so. There were only a handful of days in the 90’s and no 100’s this year so it was pretty nice. I know most books and gurus suggest mornings but I’m not a morning person and like my afternoons in the sun. Some days I had to wait for the shade to come first but in Minnesota mostly the days are nice in the afternoon. Plus noons are usually sunny too. I’d enjoy winter morn if the days didn’t get so short. But in the afternoon on sunny days there’s the sun. I’m planning on going out in nice winter days too. I’ll have to dress warm but just being out for a few minutes will let me be grateful. I need that it helped me be more balanced. Maybe one day I’ll get the ambition to dig in the boxes and find out my yoga dvd and hook up the dvd!

At any rate today was glorious. I am grateful

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I am very behind here, I am afraid.

Christina, it is so lovely to read that Steve is much better. I'm glad you're getting a break from the heat and adjusting to the Seroquel a bit.

Moose, good luck with your move. I'll be knowing exactly what you're going through soon.

Wildflowerchild, I am glad you got support from your colleagues and a bit of a break from the student you mentioned.

Otroo, excellent that your bill came in far below what was expected. It always feels nice when that happens and I see that as a sign of an honest mechanic.

I feel for you having to move soon. When is your move date? I'm still dealing with red tape!

[Moose72]

Update; My case manager for housing emailed someone higher up at the new complex about possibly lowering the rent by $30 with some reason about how she figures out my portion of the rent. Well, they wrote back (CC me) and they said yes! I thought that was going to be a major snaffu, but its not! I still haven't signed the lease and I move a week from today! They said it would be "closer to move in" but do they mean the day before or what? In addition to this, I have to change my address various places including the Secretary of State (kind like DMV) but Secretary of State is closed! There must be a way to do it online so they can send you your sticker for the back of your license? But I can't really do any of that until I move. I did change my address online with the post office, today though. N3 has to do that still because after I move I won't be able to get his unforwarded mail from this mail box I have now. So yeah, lots on my list to do. And N1 wants my couch! The old one, that is. She says she loves it. Go figure. It IS fairly comfy to sleep on. Saturday, we pick up the new couch and deliver the old one to N1. So my new couch will be at my old place for a few days. Saturday is also N3's birthday - 19! I think he's going to need to come help with the new couch before he sails off into his birthday with others. And I'm getting my absentee ballot in the mail any day now, and N3 has to go down and get one in person because he never returned the form in the mail. But once he does that, he'll be good. See? Red tape! And so much of it! I feel kind of guilty that I didn't do much today in terms of packing, but I did get some things figured out so that's good. We are really close to being all packed. My mom has to come take some of my "overflow" stuff that was under the kitchen sink- cleaning supplies. Hope everyone is well! It's a warmish sunny day here. I hope there will be no rain on Thursday. Oh and someone is supposed to get the piano on Sunday, and the washer too, maybe even the organ! We'll see.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Well, we're in Paris again, but just an airport hotel. We have no desire to go into the city. We're tired, and frankly I am not that well. No, surely not covid. More the injury some may remember me mentioning the other day. Yes, I know a couple folks here recommended the doctor. Actually, I plan to go to my gp as soon as I get home, assuming that I am still not in good shape. I certainly hope it doesn't worsen enough to warrant it in France. It has, indeed, worsened in some ways. I am not sure exactly what the injury is, despite knowing how I injured myself (fall on steep spiral staircase). Something with a rib/back and neck? Who knows! My legs, toe, and elbow are fine now, with max, residual fading bruises. Gotta be honest and say the causes of the fall were likely a combo of carbamazepine (Tegretol) clumsiness and stress, not that spiral staircases aren't dangerous on their own. Also stubbed my toe yesterday and nearly tripped on a sidewalk curb.

Tomorrow afternoon we return to the US via Montreal, Canada. It will be a long arduous day!

Czech Republic airport officials have been quite tough on me, as an American. Some may recall that they almost didn't let me into Czech Republic from a flight from Spain, despite being married to a Czech citizen. Today, some very nasty airport official made a bit of a deal about me even in departures, asking if I had residency in Czech Republic. As with the arrival, a different official said to let me go. Next time I go to Czech Republic (likely in December), I will have an address in Czech Republic and a copy of my marriage certificate. That should hopefully prevent any hassles. I was even married in Czech Republic (in Prague), so can bring the Czech version. I also have a translated version explaining why my last name is different in Czech Republic. They sure can't question if I'm anyone else, but with the same name. From my internet search research, I am the only person in the world with my precise name. The one and only 😉! There should definitely not be a problem getting home to the US. However, legally we are supposed to quarantine for 14 days after arrival. No contact grocery deliveries are easy. Hubby is still working from home. We will have some workers over, but can mostly steer clear of them.

Pre Welcome home

Yes please get in with your GP asap. Hopefully nothing is broken or serious. Contusions sure can hurt tho. I feel down 6-7 steps 25+ years ago and I am scared it will happen again, Even doing the 3 steps off my porch has me grabbing the rail.

Yes I would travel with copy of birth certificate , Hopefully that will stop all the hassle.

Have a safe flight

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Just in from sitting outside. I decided in the cold dark of January that I would sit outside on all the nice days and practice gratefulness and thankfulness. For the most part I have done so. There were only a handful of days in the 90’s and no 100’s this year so it was pretty nice. I know most books and gurus suggest mornings but I’m not a morning person and like my afternoons in the sun. Some days I had to wait for the shade to come first but in Minnesota mostly the days are nice in the afternoon. Plus noons are usually sunny too. I’d enjoy winter morn if the days didn’t get so short. But in the afternoon on sunny days there’s the sun. I’m planning on going out in nice winter days too. I’ll have to dress warm but just being out for a few minutes will let me be grateful. I need that it helped me be more balanced. Maybe one day I’ll get the ambition to dig in the boxes and find out my yoga dvd and hook up the dvd!

At any rate today was glorious. I am grateful

So happy for you that getting outside is a good thing for you mentally.. I think its something we all need to make a priority.. We need the sun for Vitamin D but its also a way to literally break up the day..

Grateful ? YES

[~Christina]

Wet and yuck here today. What's left of the Hurricane for the last 2 days.. But our wonderful weather will return soon.

This rainy damp stuff has my Fibro awful and my PsA is also a problem all my joints are sore and all popping and cracking, They both started yesterday.

Since I am getting relief from Xeljanz I get pretty panicked thinking OH NO what if its stopped working Enbrel my first Biologic just quit seems like over night, so Yeah I worry.. This is just due to the weather, so I am doing ton of self grounding.

Hope everyone is have a nice day

[wildflowerchild25]

I felt better as work went on. Very calm today, only one student in the classroom and three online. My student was of course absent. He may be absent tomorrow too, but even if not, it’s a half day for students. I still feel bad for him but I’m becoming wary. Three weeks ago I was confident he wouldn’t physically harm anyone but he’s deteriorated so much that I’m no longer so sure.

I am completely physically exhausted though. I slept from 9pm to 7am and only walked 3000 steps today but still, I could go to sleep right now. It’s possible it’s from the increased lamictal. I’ve been taking 200 since June because I like to be on the least amount possible, but I am bumping back up to 300 for a little while to help me get over this dip.

I deleted Facebook today. The political stuff is just making me crazy. I won’t go into it here but there’s so much stuff that I just can’t believe people believe and support. Especially basic human rights. I’m seeing the true side of people I know and I don’t like it. I need to get away for awhile.

I want to watch a movie right now but I’m too tired. I think I’m just going to put on my trusty old Seinfeld and close my eyes. I won’t actually fall asleep until I take the seroquel, but I’m so tired that my chest is heavy and breathing feels like a chore.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I felt better as work went on. Very calm today, only one student in the classroom and three online. My student was of course absent. He may be absent tomorrow too, but even if not, it’s a half day for students. I still feel bad for him but I’m becoming wary. Three weeks ago I was confident he wouldn’t physically harm anyone but he’s deteriorated so much that I’m no longer so sure.

I am completely physically exhausted though. I slept from 9pm to 7am and only walked 3000 steps today but still, I could go to sleep right now. It’s possible it’s from the increased lamictal. I’ve been taking 200 since June because I like to be on the least amount possible, but I am bumping back up to 300 for a little while to help me get over this dip.

I deleted Facebook today. The political stuff is just making me crazy. I won’t go into it here but there’s so much stuff that I just can’t believe people believe and support. Especially basic human rights. I’m seeing the true side of people I know and I don’t like it. I need to get away for awhile.

I want to watch a movie right now but I’m too tired. I think I’m just going to put on my trusty old Seinfeld and close my eyes. I won’t actually fall asleep until I take the seroquel, but I’m so tired that my chest is heavy and breathing feels like a chore.

It sounds like a long rest and some good sleep is exactly what you need.