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#851
Sep 30, 2020, 12:25 PM
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Smoky air and stinks like dirty smoke. The native American tribes in my county (there's an active NA presence here) have received a large grant to begin to do something about climate change in this county. I'm not sure what they're starting with, but I'm so glad to hear the news.
Slept a sleep that I've needed for months. Increasing the Trilafon (AP) is helping to calm my mind, although the repetitive musical sounds are still hanging on. Daonnachd, if you're out there, how goes it?
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 Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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 bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Soupe du jour
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#852
Sep 30, 2020, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| *Beth*, Fuzzybear
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| *Beth*
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#853
Sep 30, 2020, 01:56 PM
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today I found out that my doctor's surgery are not yet willing to give me a new doctor. they tried to patronize me today re: my complaint, and tried to stick up for the doctor when ever they could.
for now, it's still ongoing. I've said that I'm not willing to work with someone who wishes kovid on their patients, and they are saying they are unwilling to give me someone else at this time so |
| *Beth*, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Fuzzybear
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#854
Sep 30, 2020, 02:08 PM
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wow.
 At the dentist the other day he said I had **** because I said I could not ''smell'' the infected tooth he took out I was not going to post about that. I still think its off though I said NO, I have hay fever (which is already in my notes)  I can hardly believe that a doctor like the above exists. UGH 
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74
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#855
Sep 30, 2020, 02:10 PM
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Or maybe the other local surgeries are even worse? (is that even possible...) If that doctor really said that, he is sadistic. IMHO. And should be stuck off.. - Sadistic - deriving pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering or humiliation on others.
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| bpcyclist
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#856
Sep 30, 2020, 02:23 PM
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My kid isn't even HERE today and I’m anxious as hell. Like full on can’t breathe can’t stop my heart sick to my stomach ********. Not all day but a lot of it. I don’t really know what to do. There’s no specific thoughts that go with it though so I can’t even do like CBT or anything to confront the negative thinking.
Last night was horrible. I really felt like I was dying. I knew I wasn’t so I didn’t go to the ER but I sure felt like going just to beg for a benzo. I almost called a psych emergency line but then I realized the only thing that would be acceptable for me would be an emergency prescription for a benzo, but how tf was I supposed to pick it up? My dumbass pharmacy would be SURE to **** up the prescription. I don’t know what to do! It’s not bad enough to take time off, but I really feel like I’m losing it.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
| *Beth*, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74
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#857
Sep 30, 2020, 02:48 PM
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That is appalling.
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| bpcyclist
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| bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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#858
Sep 30, 2020, 02:55 PM
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It sounds to me like the way you feels definitely warrants some time off. Because what happens when the child returns? It seems you need some distance and space right now to reassess. CBT affirmations are a great idea, unless you are truly in physical danger. At least, that's the way I see it. The way you're feeling isn't a thought, it's a sense of being actually, physically threatened. Maybe a fight or flight reaction.
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| bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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| bpcyclist, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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#859
Sep 30, 2020, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#860
Sep 30, 2020, 04:27 PM
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Quote:
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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#861
Sep 30, 2020, 04:39 PM
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I just signed the lease!!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, bpcyclist, Daonnachd, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Nammu, Polibeth, scatterbrained04, Soupe du jour
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#863
Sep 30, 2020, 05:22 PM
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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| bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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#864
Sep 30, 2020, 05:22 PM
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 They run the show, ya know? Now trying to move my internet service....
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, scatterbrained04, Soupe du jour
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#865
Sep 30, 2020, 05:25 PM
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My mom and I met my aunt at an arboretum today and had a cold picnic by a lake and then walked around. There is a very old cemetery on the premises that was neat and we explored a Japanese garden and some other random paths. It was so nice to be somewhere different and to move more than usual with a bonus of seeing my aunt as another big change. Leaves are just starting to be pretty. We're going back in a few weeks when they peak.
I needed a good day. Some sad stuff is coming soon.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, fern46, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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#867
Sep 30, 2020, 06:12 PM
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| bpcyclist, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| bpcyclist
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#868
Sep 30, 2020, 06:13 PM
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I usually wait and get my flu shot in October but decided to get it today. Great decision! Nobody was in the pharmacy. I was the only one there. Had to get my drivers license renewed on line as the dmv is closed in my town. The sign says there’s no staff. I bet they were all old and retired rather than work in the pandemic. According to the signs the office they are referring people to is 50 minutes away in a much more populated area. Glad I could renew online.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
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#870
Sep 30, 2020, 06:56 PM
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Heya, not sure if I posted this morning but the news today was that last night there was little movement of the fire because winds were minimal. Sadly, high winds are predicted now through Friday. I'm hoping they're not the prevailing northerlies that we usually get this time of year.
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>< |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, BeyondtheRainbow, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| *Beth*, BeyondtheRainbow
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#871
Sep 30, 2020, 07:26 PM
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Having a problem. Caleb is supposed to show up at 3 p.m. tomorrow. I hope to be finished packing by then. Then we are going out to eat. The problem is he is a bad chain smoker- 1-2 packs a day. He thinks he will smoke on my balcony but the lease says no smoking on property! His response to this was "If they catch me I'll feign ignorance"! After I JUST read the lease?? Yeah right. The lease even says "you are responsible for your guests". I don't want to get into a fight with him but I just can't let him smoke if that's the rules. My balcony does NOT face the woods so people could see him plain as day out there smoking. How do I tell someone who is that much of a smoker that he can't smoke in my new apartment? That he needs to go to the car or something??
I just texted him asking if he could smoke in the car because I dont feel comfortable breaking my lease right out of the starting gate. He will probably cancel our plans but oh well.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| bpcyclist, childofchaos831
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#872
Sep 30, 2020, 07:30 PM
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My mother is upset with me. She says I help others too much and don't help her. She forgets how much I did for her when she had her surgery and many other things.
She says that she's completely alone and God forbid she would have to depend on me for anything. She seems to have developed a very selective memory. So now we're not on speaking terms. Of course the ball is in my court to apologize. For what I don't know. But nothing's going to happen until I say I'm sorry. I don't see that happening anytime soon.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in 2016. |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Polibeth, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| bpcyclist
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#873
Sep 30, 2020, 07:32 PM
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Moose, congrats on the lease signing! Coincidentally, my husband signed the lease on the place we're renting starting in November.
Nammu, I was telling my husband that we should get the flu shot soon, too. Maybe tomorrow. I think it's so important, especially with covid 19 around. |
| Anonymous41462, bizi, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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| bizi, bpcyclist, Nammu
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#874
Sep 30, 2020, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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#875
Sep 30, 2020, 07:41 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| bizi, bpcyclist
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| bizi, bpcyclist
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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