[fern46]

Laying low has really served you well in the past. I think it is a great choice. I know the computer has also been a valuable outlet for you previously as well, so I think it is smart to leverage tasks that allow you to put your fingers to the keys.

That is a good suggestion. I'll do my best with constructive feedback if I notice anything out of character.

Fingers crossed that the med adjustments tackle this quickly. Sending supportive thoughts your way!

ETA: it may be worth avoiding foods and activities that increase serotonin and dopamine.

So limit...
Exercise
Music
Meditation
Chocolate
Alcohol
Lots of protein
Nuts
Ricotta cheese
Pineapple
Tofu
Salmon

Not to worry about being unpleasant Soupe. I find your joy very positive. I'm just worried about you is all, just worried that it will end badly. Sounds like you are doing what you can, with the med increases and staying in touch with your psychiatrist and getting your husband to take over some of your workload. Other than things Fern mentioned the only other thing i can think of is limiting your contact with people IRL and really trying to focus on making the interaction go well when something is unavoidable.

We're all here for you!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

Laying low has really served you well in the past. I think it is a great choice. I know the computer has also been a valuable outlet for you previously as well, so I think it is smart to leverage tasks that allow you to put your fingers to the keys.

That is a good suggestion. I'll do my best with constructive feedback if I notice anything out of character.

Fingers crossed that the med adjustments tackle this quickly. Sending supportive thoughts your way!

ETA: it may be worth avoiding foods and activities that increase serotonin and dopamine.

So limit...
Exercise
Music
Meditation
Chocolate
Alcohol
Lots of protein
Nuts
Ricotta cheese
Pineapple
Tofu
Salmon

Thanks for this list fern of things to avoid (luckily for me I do not have to limit salmon)

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by fern46

Laying low has really served you well in the past. I think it is a great choice. I know the computer has also been a valuable outlet for you previously as well, so I think it is smart to leverage tasks that allow you to put your fingers to the keys.

That is a good suggestion. I'll do my best with constructive feedback if I notice anything out of character.

Fingers crossed that the med adjustments tackle this quickly. Sending supportive thoughts your way!

ETA: it may be worth avoiding foods and activities that increase serotonin and dopamine.

So limit...
Exercise
Music
Meditation
Chocolate
Alcohol
Lots of protein
Nuts
Ricotta cheese
Pineapple
Tofu
Salmon

Thanks, Fern. And that's an interesting list. From experience, I knew the exercise was good to avoid, as well as music (stimulating or powerful), and alcohol, but not the rest.

I must confess that I had started drinking more than I previously allowed myself. I was downing up to two at lunch and two at dinner these past few weeks. Four per day is not "moderate drinking" even for a healthy man let alone a woman on bipolar medications, with a history of alcohol abuse. That stopped today. Plus, it also seemed ridiculous since I started blood pressure and cholesterol meds. I've been eating a lot of junk lately, too, which is not my norm. It's hard to make healthful meals during such a chaos as I am living in.

I wonder why the nuts and salmon affect dopamine and serotonin.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Thanks, Fern. And that's an interesting list. From experience, I knew the exercise was good to avoid, as well as music (stimulating or powerful), and alcohol, but not the rest.

I must confess that I had started drinking more than I previously allowed myself. I was downing up to two at lunch and two at dinner these past few weeks. Four per day is not "moderate drinking" even for a healthy man let alone a woman on bipolar medications, with a history of alcohol abuse. That stopped today. Plus, it also seemed ridiculous since I started blood pressure and cholesterol meds. I've been eating a lot of junk lately, too, which is not my norm. It's hard to make healthful meals during such a chaos as I am living in.

I wonder why the nuts and salmon affect dopamine and serotonin.

I don't understand the ins and outs of it, but it has to do with the omega 3s. I'm learning. Oddly enough I was eating tons of almonds and drinking protein shakes before I went off the rails last time...

You definitely have a bit of a perfect storm going and your physical body is screaming. You're listening now.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I'm in a cleaning mood, even though the place is pretty much clean and tidy. I vacuumed the whole place. I could wash out the sink and tub I guess. Maybe sweep and mop the kitchen and bathroom? I just don't know if they need it but then again I've been here 2+ weeks and I haven't done any of this yet. Listening to Bach choral works by King's College Choir. ETA: I just swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom. They needed it. Now waiting for the floors to dry so I can wash out the sinks and scrub the toilet. ETA: Floors dry and rugs put back down and both sinks scrubbed! Now on to Alfred Deller and crew. (He's probably on youtube!)

Sounds like a very productive day!
(re cave cleaning etc)

[Scooter9]

It has been a while since I last checked in.

I'm still depressed but life goes on.

I finished and published my book and it's getting good reviews.

I learned a whole bunch of new stuff so I have a really good skill set related to my hobby. It's not worth any money, just the satisfaction of being good at something. When I get in the zone, I get some short term relief from the depression.

I'm looking for another job. I think I've reached the end of the line in my current job even though I really liked it. There's someone with more experience than me and they don't need everyone on the team so I'm making a move before the job market slows down by December and January.

I also taught my kids some new skills related to fixing things around the house. It's nice to see that they're interested.

[*Beth*]

Scooter9

***Congratulations!***

[Daonnachd]

Today the fire department announced they have 100% containment of the last fire which caused me to evacuate. It's not out, just contained. Unfortunately the National Weather Service has also announced two red flag warnings back to back until the end of the week. So to avoid limbs coming down on power lines and starting another fire they'll likely be shutting off the power during that time. This means my access to the Interwebz will also be lost. All this to say: don't worry about me if you notice later that I'm not posting on PC. It's a connectivity issue, not a personal stability issue.

[jmariah001]

I haven't been on much lately. My laptop is acting up. It is extremely slow. I might have a virus on it. No virus protection on it right now. It expired and I don't have the money to renew it. Well anyways. Things have been up and down. A lot of bad dreams lately. Persistent cough for over a month. I think it's drainage from my sinuses. It started with a cold then turned into a sinus infection. Not fun. At least I hope it was a cold. Mentally I've been all over the place. I see my pdoc next Monday. Good thing. Anyways that's s my check in.

[*Beth*]

Daonnachd

Thanks for letting us know.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

It has been a while since I last checked in.

I'm still depressed but life goes on.

I finished and published my book and it's getting good reviews.

I learned a whole bunch of new stuff so I have a really good skill set related to my hobby. It's not worth any money, just the satisfaction of being good at something. When I get in the zone, I get some short term relief from the depression.

I'm looking for another job. I think I've reached the end of the line in my current job even though I really liked it. There's someone with more experience than me and they don't need everyone on the team so I'm making a move before the job market slows down by December and January.

I also taught my kids some new skills related to fixing things around the house. It's nice to see that they're interested.

Nice to see you back, Scooter. I'm sorry to read that you are depressed, but you clearly have good plans and skills to help you through the process. That's great that your kids learned helpful skills, too. It is a great part of growing up to learn such things. They will appreciate that.

[Soupe du jour]

jmariaha001, nice to see you, too. I hope you can rid your computer of the virus soon. As for sinus stuff, I understand. I get the same in the autumn. I have been sneezing and coughing, too. Eating spicy food is helpful, but makes my nose run, but that actually brings some relief. Last night I ate hot Buffalo wings. Today I will have spicy hot Sichuan dishes.

Daonnachd, I am so happy to read that the fire is contained. Hopefully it will stay contained despite the weather issues coming.

[daladico]

Day 6 complete med change:
Feel like I might be going a bit “up.”
Everything is perfect in the world 😃
Super productive, lots of energy, super happy
Loving every moment of it 🤩

[fern46]

Originally Posted by daladico

Day 6 complete med change:
Feel like I might be going a bit “up.”
Everything is perfect in the world 😃
Super productive, lots of energy, super happy
Loving every moment of it 🤩

That does sound like a upswing. What measures can you take to keep things from progressing? What kinds of activities are you doing? Any substances like caffine or alcohol in the mix?

I'm hopeful for a safe landing for you.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by fern46

That does sound like a upswing. What measures can you take to keep things from progressing? What kinds of activities are you doing? Any substances like caffine or alcohol in the mix?

I'm hopeful for a safe landing for you.

Thanks Fern no substances but man I love caffeine! I’ll do my best to limit it

Activities for today: house stuff, workout, work

Just messaged my pdoc to see if we can increase my new antipsychotic earlier than scheduled. Gahhh hardest thing to do when you just want the good high to last forever!!

[MuddyBoots]

I finished my taper off tegretol. I’m depressed but no major raging outbursts in a couple days. Been using a little bit, but not too much. Trying not too but I think the depression started out as a PAWS thing and it’s just so hard to stay clean when I’m constantly suicidal. I lied to my therapist about using. I don’t like talking to her. I feel like I’m being spied on and that someone is going to assault me if I speak the truth outloud to anyone. im about ready to let these illnesses win. I’m sick of fighting these demons every day and losing.

[Soupe du jour]

All of the extra Seroquel I took yesterday seems to have helped de-escalate my mood. It pays to have allowed PRN medication and a fast responding psychiatrist! I took the extra Seroquel XR this morning and feel nicely level. It seems like taking a morning dose along with my much larger evening dose is becoming a frequent norm for me.

My sister-in-law has felt ill for a number of days. They ruled out covid-19, which is good, especially since her son has been with her and has major heart problems. However, an xray showed something in her lung that shouldn't be there. Now she's even more scared than before.

Today we're going to test drive a hybrid plug-in Subaru Crosstrek. My husband has an old Subaru, so it could be a trade in, albeit one with issues. I'm glad that dealership is much closer than the Toyota place we went to the day before yesterday. The Subaru Crosstrek is a much better looking car than the Toyota we test drove, and a better size. But they only have a particular blue colored one. Hubby is so picky about colors and doesn't know if he likes it. I think the color is cool! Like... Come on already, Hubby!

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

All of the extra Seroquel I took yesterday seems to have helped de-escalate my mood. It pays to have allowed PRN medication and a fast responding psychiatrist! I took the extra Seroquel XR this morning and feel nicely level. It seems like taking a morning dose along with my much larger evening dose is becoming a frequent norm for me.

My sister-in-law has felt ill for a number of days. They ruled out covid-19, which is good, especially since her son has been with her and has major heart problems. However, an xray showed something in her lung that shouldn't be there. Now she's even more scared than before.

Today we're going to test drive a hybrid plug-in Subaru Crosstrek. My husband has an old Subaru, so it could be a trade in, albeit one with issues. I'm glad that dealership is much closer than the Toyota place we went to the day before yesterday.

I’m glad the seroquel is helping

Prayers for your sister in-law

[fern46]

Originally Posted by daladico

Thanks Fern no substances but man I love caffeine! I’ll do my best to limit it

Activities for today: house stuff, workout, work

Just messaged my pdoc to see if we can increase my new antipsychotic earlier than scheduled. Gahhh hardest thing to do when you just want the good high to last forever!!

I know it feels great, but your insight is in a decent enough place to know something is off. You have to trust that. Great call on reaching out to your pdoc!

Definitely limit the caffeine and maybe try a relaxing workout like some yoga. I know of a great instructor on Youtube if you're interested.

[daladico]

Originally Posted by fern46

I know it feels great, but your insight is in a decent enough place to know something is off. You have to trust that. Great call on reaching out to your pdoc!

Definitely limit the caffeine and maybe try a relaxing workout like some yoga. I know of a great instructor on Youtube if you're interested.

thanks Fern which instructor?

[fern46]

Originally Posted by daladico

thanks Fern which instructor?

Her channel is called yoga with Adriene. She has tons of videos for various scenarios. I like her a lot.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapist suggested in email that I may need a PHP program and I freaked out. On the 5th they asked for a $340 copay upfront for my surgery. So I’m going to actually owe at least 5 thousand for the actual surgery. I don’t have a job or much of anything saved up. I just hope they can do a payment plan. But I have absolutely no money for a PHP program. When I was signing up for insurance last year I basically had to choose between my physical or mental health and since I was having so many physical issues in 2019 I went that route.

But I’ve lost another 2 pounds putting it at 12 pounds since the 5th. I think some more swelling went down though. A lot of it is the visteril though. But I don’t need it. My anxiety is fine. So why would I take it just to be hungry? That’s dumb.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Sounds like a very productive day!
(re cave cleaning etc)

Yes, it was! And today, I paid my first month's' rent (October) and by Nov. 1 I will have to pay November's rent. I have 3 dollars MORE in my savings account than I need to pay my credit card, so that will come due on November 4th. Maybe I'll clean the tub today.... I know what I have to do today: Do the Bipolar study I'm in at 3. It should last a couple hours. Listening to "Festive Motets from the 16th Century".

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

@whatever2013 and @BethRags, thanks for your concern. I am experiencing a major upswing. It's become quite apparent and I've consulted with my psychiatrist today. I have a med dose increase. I already took 100 mg extra Seroquel today (50 iR morning/50 XR afternoon) and my usual evening dose (650 mg), plus my other bipolar meds. I'll admit I still feel fairly revved up, so pdoc told me to take yet another 50 mg of the iR if I can't get to sleep. I'm about as up as I've been for a long time -- only worse about two and a half years ago in May 2018. I can NOT become so manic that I can't easily de-escalate. I've started to have "issues" with my mood. Hubby has started taking some things over that I had been doing. Even so, there is just so extremely much to do and so many stressful things. Of course I could go on and on, but I'll try to spare people. My therapist is little help, but my psychiatrist is a gem. I'll be in touch with him again soon, if needed, or next Wednesday when I have a scheduled appointment. He always responds quickly. He knows me like the back of his hand, which is good. I'll be so sad when I have to find someone new. It will be a great loss for me to have to move on from him, though he did say he would continue giving me video sessions even for a while after I move to CZ. So did my nephrologist. Those two guys are basically the kind of men (or people in general, since some women are similar) that are treasures in one's life. My greatest living treasures are my husband, psychiatrist, and my sister. I'll miss seeing my sister when I move. I have to coerce her to visit me in CZ. She retired early. I think she will want to visit CZ again (she went there for my wedding). Of course my mother was a great treasure, but we lost her about 15 years ago to cancer.

I apologize if anything I wrote today (or will write) seemed, I don't know, triggering/concerning/offensive or otherwise.

The handyman was supposed to come back today, but didn't. No show. So many places are late in getting us what we need. This kind of frustration is a major trigger for me. I like for things to go efficiently, quickly, and smoothly, but I realize they sometimes don't. The lack of control over a situation is rough for me. I have to resist the temptation to take on more and more, too. The less out of control, the more I freak out and escalate.

Great job getting all over this. What is the plan for the next 2 days, med-wise?

Hugs! Be careful! No major decisions.