[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all! I am doing okay. I am still having bouts of irritability, but the gabapentin seems to be helping. The thing is I was only taking it like once a day because I was having side effects and afraid to increase it, but it has a short half life so if I want it to help me the whole day I guess I need to take both.

I had a productive therapy session today. We talked about ACT to help deal with accepting my moods and physical pain since I cannot always change it. It is probably my last session with her before I move. She complimented me on my healthy behaviors and how I am handling things. That felt really good to have my hard work acknowledged.

I got a third interview at the one place I applied. Not sure what else I can talk about for another hour, but seems promising at least.

Got to catch up on how everyone is doing. Hope you are all well!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Hi all! I am doing okay. I am still having bouts of irritability, but the gabapentin seems to be helping. The thing is I was only taking it like once a day because I was having side effects and afraid to increase it, but it has a short half life so if I want it to help me the whole day I guess I need to take both.

I had a productive therapy session today. We talked about ACT to help deal with accepting my moods and physical pain since I cannot always change it. It is probably my last session with her before I move. She complimented me on my healthy behaviors and how I am handling things. That felt really good to have my hard work acknowledged.

I got a third interview at the one place I applied. Not sure what else I can talk about for another hour, but seems promising at least.

Got to catch up on how everyone is doing. Hope you are all well!

Nice to see you back posting, yellow_fleurs! It sounds like you've got some good things in the works and made great progress with therapy.

I remember the third interview I had for my last job. Though yours may be a continuation of the standard, sometimes it is more a "getting to know you as a person" type deal. I found that in my case, it was good to just relax as much as possible. Maybe even talk about something lighter than expected.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius

I’m just hoping the world gets a more tolerant and rational head on its shoulders.

I hope that, too, MarcusAurelius! You know, I think there is a much greater number of people than we might think that wish that. Perhaps as 2021 continues, they will come out of the woodwork or just plain be freed from what holds them back. A whole lot of people look forward to being freed. Not just from circumstances and politics, etc., but from their own selves.

[Soupe du jour]

Still near Hot Springs, Arkansas. I thought today we'd just hang out at the place we rented, as if at home. My husband even said he liked that idea the other day, but then suddenly he had us going out to run errands and show up at a trail for a hike. I was not prepared for that mentally, and even my attire. An argument ensued. It's over with, but I do get frustrated with him sometimes, though I know he gets mighty frustrated with me, too. I sort of wish I could have a bit of time to myself. I've been yearning for that for a while. I don't mean days, but just some hours where I can do (or not do) exactly what I want for myself.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

...I thought today we'd just hang out at the place we rented, as if at home. ...

Excellent idea! The most successful travels I've were when I did exactly that. Spending an abundance of leisure time in my room, surrounded with my "things", reading or just watching out the window and contemplating.

The journeys when I did the go-go-go thing ended up becoming stressful and overwhelming. Not good.

I'm doing okay. I feel like today is really the first day of the new year as it is the first business day. The regular team anchored the six o'clock news -- another sign of normalcy. Nice to see them again. I worry about my weight and wrestle with Overeaters Anonymous sometimes but i forced myself to get on the scale and i haven't gained any COVID weight so i'm not worrying about it today. I always think i've gained heaps of weight and am afraid to weigh myself. Then i force myself to and i haven't gained any!

I feel grateful to be free of anxiety and fear and to have no commitments or appointments. I'm tired but since i'm free to relax all day it's okay. I get bored sometimes but i have my dog, radio, journaling, Scrabble, news, knitting and my soaps so i try and stay amused. Things are a lot better than they were when i lived in Vancouver for six months 22 years ago when i was so poor and sick and scared...

It's a dicey time of year as far as

Possible trigger:

suicide attempts go

but i am feeling accepting of my tame solitary life so i think i will be fine.

Hugs to all who struggle!

[Victoria'smom]

I don't know what I said to worry my T but after the office called for a sooner appointment next week. I know she doesn't like that I normalize things. I'm suppose to make goals for this year. I didn't even tell her I got super religious and spent hours trying to memories the bible for a little while. I don't want to tell her or pdoc it's super embarrassing. She asked me what my bedtime routine. I didn't tell her I go to bed when the SI thoughts are too strong. I just told her I go to bed when I felt done with the day. She's concerned I might be having command voices and not relies. After giving a lot of thought I normalize a lot.

[Mountaindewed]

Yesterday my nose was running a ton. And I could smell this smell you know when you have post nasal drip. Also I was sneezing a ton and my eyes were watering. This morning around 3:30 I woke up with a sore throat and dry coughing a lot. And that seal like bark came out once. I can’t get back to sleep because of how much I’m coughing. I don’t have a fever but I am for sure sick with something. I feel pretty bad too. I don’t know what to do about cough syrup. Maybe I’ll get some of that stuff that is just for coughing. The pharmacy said one time I could take it with the meds I’m on.

[Soupe du jour]

The final buyer walk though at my house is supposed to happen at 2 pm today. We are obviously far away from home on our trip. Please wish us luck that there aren't any unknown problems there that happened in our absence. Our real estate lawyer said that the closing is likely to happen tomorrow, but it's not certain until it happens. The lawyers will handle everything in our absence.

There will be a sense of relief when this is all over for my husband and me, but at the same time a bit of sadness. If it was up to me, Hubby and I would start heading back to NJ after tomorrow and then begin preparations for our one-way flight to Europe. But Hubby seems to want to wait longer. He makes the argument that getting to our upcoming new home will not be comfortable because our furniture is not there. I understand that, but unlike hotels "on the road", our upcoming home does have a kitchen. It also has a bed and kitchen table with kitchen chairs. If we got there, just a new or borrowed frying pan and sauce pan and some bed linens would do the trick, in the meantime. We can also temporarily stay with my husband's sister, closer to Prague.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m still sick. I don’t think it’s Covid I think I just have a cold. I was able to get back to sleep around 5 and I woke up at 7:30. I found what I was looking for at the store so I have a pickup in about an hour. I’m doing ok mentally but I am very tired physically and I don’t feel very good. Group went fine. The store was out of the delsym cough syrup. I am coughing though quite a bit so I’ll probably need my mom to go to Walgreens.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Nice to see you back posting, yellow_fleurs! It sounds like you've got some good things in the works and made great progress with therapy.

I remember the third interview I had for my last job. Though yours may be a continuation of the standard, sometimes it is more a "getting to know you as a person" type deal. I found that in my case, it was good to just relax as much as possible. Maybe even talk about something lighter than expected.

Thanks! I have been wondering honestly what I will talk about for a third 1 hour interview. I think I am out of questions! But maybe it's a good idea to just relax like you said.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Thanks! I have been wondering honestly what I will talk about for a third 1 hour interview. I think I am out of questions! But maybe it's a good idea to just relax like you said.

I can't necessarily recommend any of this, but I recall talking about baseball with the big boss I met with during the third interview. The interview was in his office and he had baseball pennant flags there. Believe me that his eyes lit up when I mentioned the sport....Um, casually. Perhaps for some people bringing up hobbies might be good. I wouldn't voluntarily bring up anything heavy. I also recall briefly talking about his hometown (Hoboken). I had been there and brought up that I knew Frank Sinatra was from there.

Honestly, I think it may have been that big boss (and not my then soon to be direct boss) that got me the job. Sad to say, but these types of interest/social links can make a difference.

[Soupe du jour]

Predictably there was an issue during the buyer walk through of our house. Apparently the realtor couldn't get hot water from our faucets. We had had a repairman come only about three weeks ago, but obviously something either went wrong again, or some breeze blew out the pilot flame. Our realtor's brother is going to our house to inspect. He can probably just light the stupid pilot flame again (if that's the problem). Either way, my husband is offering to our real estate attorney that we'd be willing to pay for a new water heater (just the heater, not the installation). We'll see what happens. This is a reason why being home the day of the walk through is good. What can I say, though. Were we supposed to be in a next to empty house for the past couple weeks, eating Indian style on the floor?

The buyer's other complaint was that the lights in our foyer would go on and off, unexpectedly. Well, it is a motion sensor light. That's sort of how they work, right? I had to tell our realtor to tell them that and that they have the option to turn it permanently on and off by just moving the stupid switch.

Hubby thinks his iritis is acting up (a serious inflammation in his eye). When this happens it is usually because of stress. If it worsens, it will be hard for him to drive. I hope hope hope it doesn't.

[Fuzzybear]

The ''mental health team'' know what is right for us? It is absolutely not so in this location, in my experience. They just want us out of their office, as quickly as possible I know I am far from alone in having experienced this bizarre occurance, multiple times. I wonder who is the ''crazy'' one, me or the ''professionals''

[Moose72]

I am losing my mind.

This morning, I was woken up by the phone ringing. I let it go to voicemail. I got the voice message and called them back. I thought it was somebody from the family independence agency- food stamps. He said his name but I didn't recognize it. He said he was updating my file/account/whatever word he used. He asked a lot of info like my address and the last 4 of my social security number.

So after a little while I figured I was a victim of identity theft. So I set off changing all my passwords and calling my credit union too see if there had been anything "fishy" going on. They couldn't find anything but they suggested I call Experian or any other credit beauro. (however you spell that). Amidst all this activity, I called one of those personal information security protection companies. I set up and account and arranged to make payments monthly. That added up to $20 per month! I tried navigating my new account but there were too many emails with links in them and too many apps to download. It was all very confusing. Id seen an ad on tv for this company so I was pretty sure it was legit. And all of this took me FIVE hours! I put a "freeze" on my credit report so nobody can look at it. (I'm still not sure how to take it off!)

And FINALLY after 5+ hours I called my mom. Told her what was going on. She had me on speaker phone and her husband was giving his two cents. I gave my mom the number that called me this morning. She called it and talked with the same guy and after speaking to him for a bit he said he was from where I thought he was. Said he's been calling people all morning. Ok, so then he gave his name- so I looked at my paperwork that came to tell me how much my foodstamps had been reduced to and his name was there as my case worker. They change caseworkers so often that you could get someone different every time you call. He said he was calling from his own phone. So both my mom and her husband seemed satisfied that he wasn't a scammer. I feel better now but there's still the trauma of the day with a little bit of doubt. My mom said she didn't think there's a problem. The guy identified himself as from the place I get my food stamps when my mom contacted him. I think I skirted a real problem. Or maybe I just blew things into infinity and went berzerk??? Both?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

The final buyer walk though at my house is supposed to happen at 2 pm today. We are obviously far away from home on our trip. Please wish us luck that there aren't any unknown problems there that happened in our absence. Our real estate lawyer said that the closing is likely to happen tomorrow, but it's not certain until it happens. The lawyers will handle everything in our absence.

There will be a sense of relief when this is all over for my husband and me, but at the same time a bit of sadness. If it was up to me, Hubby and I would start heading back to NJ after tomorrow and then begin preparations for our one-way flight to Europe. But Hubby seems to want to wait longer. He makes the argument that getting to our upcoming new home will not be comfortable because our furniture is not there. I understand that, but unlike hotels "on the road", our upcoming home does have a kitchen. It also has a bed and kitchen table with kitchen chairs. If we got there, just a new or borrowed frying pan and sauce pan and some bed linens would do the trick, in the meantime. We can also temporarily stay with my husband's sister, closer to Prague.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything proceeds smoothly.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Predictably there was an issue during the buyer walk through of our house. Apparently the realtor couldn't get hot water from our faucets. We had had a repairman come only about three weeks ago, but obviously something either went wrong again, or some breeze blew out the pilot flame. Our realtor's brother is going to our house to inspect. He can probably just light the stupid pilot flame again (if that's the problem). Either way, my husband is offering to our real estate attorney that we'd be willing to pay for a new water heater (just the heater, not the installation). We'll see what happens. This is a reason why being home the day of the walk through is good. What can I say, though. Were we supposed to be in a next to empty house for the past couple weeks, eating Indian style on the floor?

The buyer's other complaint was that the lights in our foyer would go on and off, unexpectedly. Well, it is a motion sensor light. That's sort of how they work, right? I had to tell our realtor to tell them that and that they have the option to turn it permanently on and off by just moving the stupid switch.

Hubby thinks his iritis is acting up (a serious inflammation in his eye). When this happens it is usually because of stress. If it worsens, it will be hard for him to drive. I hope hope hope it doesn't.

Uggggghhhhhh......

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I am losing my mind.

This morning, I was woken up by the phone ringing. I let it go to voicemail. I got the voice message and called them back. I thought it was somebody from the family independence agency- food stamps. He said his name but I didn't recognize it. He said he was updating my file/account/whatever word he used. He asked a lot of info like my address and the last 4 of my social security number.

So after a little while I figured I was a victim of identity theft. So I set off changing all my passwords and calling my credit union too see if there had been anything "fishy" going on. They couldn't find anything but they suggested I call Experian or any other credit beauro. (however you spell that). Amidst all this activity, I called one of those personal information security protection companies. I set up and account and arranged to make payments monthly. That added up to $20 per month! I tried navigating my new account but there were too many emails with links in them and too many apps to download. It was all very confusing. Id seen an ad on tv for this company so I was pretty sure it was legit. And all of this took me FIVE hours! I put a "freeze" on my credit report so nobody can look at it. (I'm still not sure how to take it off!)

And FINALLY after 5+ hours I called my mom. Told her what was going on. She had me on speaker phone and her husband was giving his two cents. I gave my mom the number that called me this morning. She called it and talked with the same guy and after speaking to him for a bit he said he was from where I thought he was. Said he's been calling people all morning. Ok, so then he gave his name- so I looked at my paperwork that came to tell me how much my foodstamps had been reduced to and his name was there as my case worker. They change caseworkers so often that you could get someone different every time you call. He said he was calling from his own phone. So both my mom and her husband seemed satisfied that he wasn't a scammer. I feel better now but there's still the trauma of the day with a little bit of doubt. My mom said she didn't think there's a problem. The guy identified himself as from the place I get my food stamps when my mom contacted him. I think I skirted a real problem. Or maybe I just blew things into infinity and went berzerk??? Both?

What a horrible day and scare you had. I'm sorry you went through that, but you should congratulate yourself for taking such swift and decisive action... even though it turned out OK in the end.

So many victimizing calls come in. I can't understand why the government does little to limit them. I have hung up on and cussed out legitimate callers in the past because of them. I'm looking forward to the fact that victimizing calls are rare in Czech Republic.

[Sunflower123]

I had such a bad therapy appointment today that I’m headed to bed. It really upset me terribly. Therapists need to be more careful of what they say to emotionally vulnerable patients. I’ll reset and be okay tomorrow. The question is do I discuss it with her, change therapists or mark it up as a one off.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I am losing my mind.

This morning, I was woken up by the phone ringing. I let it go to voicemail. I got the voice message and called them back. I thought it was somebody from the family independence agency- food stamps. He said his name but I didn't recognize it. He said he was updating my file/account/whatever word he used. He asked a lot of info like my address and the last 4 of my social security number.

So after a little while I figured I was a victim of identity theft. So I set off changing all my passwords and calling my credit union too see if there had been anything "fishy" going on. They couldn't find anything but they suggested I call Experian or any other credit beauro. (however you spell that). Amidst all this activity, I called one of those personal information security protection companies. I set up and account and arranged to make payments monthly. That added up to $20 per month! I tried navigating my new account but there were too many emails with links in them and too many apps to download. It was all very confusing. Id seen an ad on tv for this company so I was pretty sure it was legit. And all of this took me FIVE hours! I put a "freeze" on my credit report so nobody can look at it. (I'm still not sure how to take it off!)

And FINALLY after 5+ hours I called my mom. Told her what was going on. She had me on speaker phone and her husband was giving his two cents. I gave my mom the number that called me this morning. She called it and talked with the same guy and after speaking to him for a bit he said he was from where I thought he was. Said he's been calling people all morning. Ok, so then he gave his name- so I looked at my paperwork that came to tell me how much my foodstamps had been reduced to and his name was there as my case worker. They change caseworkers so often that you could get someone different every time you call. He said he was calling from his own phone. So both my mom and her husband seemed satisfied that he wasn't a scammer. I feel better now but there's still the trauma of the day with a little bit of doubt. My mom said she didn't think there's a problem. The guy identified himself as from the place I get my food stamps when my mom contacted him. I think I skirted a real problem. Or maybe I just blew things into infinity and went berzerk??? Both?

Oh, how aggravating. A month or so ago I was the victim of a scam and the only thing that stopped me from going on to give the jerk my personal info was when he asked me for money. That tipped me off. Before that he sounded so legit! Scamming is so common nowadays - I most likely would have jumped to the conclusion that you did. I'm sorry you have such a situation on your hands, Moose. Just remember that somehow, it will work out!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I had such a bad therapy appointment today that I’m headed to bed. It really upset me terribly. Therapists need to be more careful of what they say to emotionally vulnerable patients. I’ll reset and be okay tomorrow. The question is do I discuss it with her, change therapists or mark it up as a one off.

I am so, so sorry, Jennifer. A bad therapy appointment can be so damaging - whether temporary or longer-lasting.

My vote is that you discuss with her whatever is bothering you. I know that is usually difficult, but...that's just how it is with therapy, as you well know.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I am so, so sorry, Jennifer. A bad therapy appointment can be so damaging - whether temporary or longer-lasting.

My vote is that you discuss with her whatever is bothering you. I know that is usually difficult, but...that's just how it is with therapy, as you well know.

I agree with what Beth said. Maybe it will turn out that she was having a bad day that day. Or maybe you both were?

[Fuzzybear]

It's hibernation time

See y'all in a year, maybe

[Moose72]

I got a shower and put on warm pajamas and was feeling cozy. Now I'm watching tv and still feeling like an idiot about how I spent my day- 5 hours straight! Im still worried that I made a mistake or more than one even though I'm relatively ok compared to earlier.

Im watching Bobby Fisher on D.i.c.k Cavett . He seems relatively normal to me.

I want to make cheese sticks but they are kind of complicated because you have to batter them then freeze them then batter them again and refreeze. Otherwise, they just melt into puddles.

[Daonnachd]

Hey, all. Thanks for humouring me in that I rarely stop by lately except to report on struggles I'm having. The most recent and ongoing is the computer which crashes many times a day.

Aside from that - I had ECT yesterday and admitted to my doc that I hadn't been doing well. She suggested a brief, intensive series of three treatments over the course of a week. We're going to talk on Friday about how I'm doing after Monday's treatment. So I face the decision of going inpatient for the series however brief it may be since I live two hours from the hospital and would have a tough time arranging rides. It would also be hard on my wife with me gone for those days. I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions.