Questions Bipolar Version #8

I think it would be rather cool to live near disneyworld in florida. not just because of disney, but I'd be closer to a lot of my online friends- most are american anyway.

favorite flavour of icecream?

Probably not. I don't think that I'm talented at acting. I do things that come naturally. Perhaps I would rather see myself in such a movie that was filmed without me knowing....living life without realizing I was being filmed. Also, some times would be far more interesting than others.

Which year of your life was most interesting?

I would say 2005, though not interesting in a good way.

I really struggled that year with a lot of things, and it was the year I lost most things I hoped I wouldn't. I guess the interest came from how I was going to cope, and where things were going to go from here.

tturns out, pretty downhill, but you know, can't win em all..

do you struggle to think about exciting/ interesting things that happened in your life?, or do a lot of memories come easy to you

A: I struggle a lot with memory. I don't remember a whole lot growin up, and to be honest? Most of my memories that should invoke excitement or interest are just a collection of words anymore. But, at the end of the day, I can't say my memory is all that bad. After all, I have a bad, gnawing, habit of remembering painful ones all too well.

Q: What activity do you enjoy but rarely do anymore?

Dancing and listening to music. It's kind of sad. I do have an inkling as to what mostly stopped these activities.

What was the most number of hours, in a day, that you have performed some type of exercise?

No idea. 3? 4? In high school I did some pretty intense training for track and cross country as well as starting to get ready for my first half marathon before I got hurt and wasn't able to do it.

Do you have cooler weather yet? It feels like fall here but is going to warm up again for the weekend.

It's a bit cooler today (91 degrees) as compared to the past few days (over 100). We're still stuck in the 90's for the foreseeable future, though. But it RAINED a little bit last night!! First rain since May - and that wasn't much, at all. Wasn't much last night, either, but at least it smelled nice.



Do you have any mechanical talent?

I'm pretty good at putting things together and taking them apart. When I was working I was really good at adjusting (and even building from parts) wheelchairs. I don't try to work on my car or anything; I would need to be taught and I don't have anyone to teach me.

What is a food you would never eat again?

Cooked spinach, it’s like eating liquid iron. Blah. Raw spinach is fine.

What do you collect?

the now that's what I call music series of cds

they come out 3 times a year with the best chart music on them and being a music lover, well..

I still need to get some of the earlier ones, but my collection is quite big
favorite color and why?

It's between green and blue. I wear and decorate my house with those colors, predominately. My parrots were green. I have blue eyes, so blue clothes go well with them.

What is your natural hair color? What other colors have you made your hair?

Well now my hair is salt and pepper. Growing up it was auburn with reddish highlights especially in the summer. I’ve died it black, burnet and after my red headed daughter was born, often red. I’m waiting for it to go grey or white so I can use some fun colors like purple, and turquoise. When I am old I’ll wear purple hair and shoes! Lol 😂

I’m watching the pink panther, what’s your favorite comic or animated show.

A: I have a thing for Bob's Burgers -- the recent seasons haven't been great but there are some episodes I find so good. A nice way to round out a day with a genuine smile or laugh. I still crack up at these small little gags they have. Plus, just the mundane realness of it all. For example. the mom of the family (Linda) had some raccoons in the trash out back, and she was on the phone with her friend telling her about what was going on outside with the raccoons....and she decided to name one and give him a backstory--thus Little King Trashmouth is introduced, who is gay and married with his partner Gary. (So... is he King Gary Trashmouth or....?). I could see my mom doing coming up with something like that haha.


Q: If you could only live with ONE condiment/spice the rest of your life, what would it be? [in this scenario -- salt/pepper are not considered condiments. that's the clear winner here haha. Something outside of that, please!]

Ketchup. Boring but true.

What are you most likely to order from fast food if you are forced to (or choose to) eat fast food?

chicken sandwiches

how have your episodes changed over the years?

Between 14 and 33 years old I had about 4 significant pure depressions, 4 full-blown manias, and 2 to 3 severe mixed states. However, in between those episodes I was mostly in prolonged elated or irritable hypomanias. Prolonged hypomanias have been a characteristic of my bipolar disorder type 1 despite reaching full blown manias, at times. The hypomanias did not even necessarily make it to full-blown before calming a bit.

Between age 33 and 40, I had very long-term severe mixed states, many with psychosis. I had experienced some psychosis during the severe episodes of my youth, but not nearly as many and as severe. I was basically in and out of the psych hospital between 34 and 38 years old. Almost hospitalized a few times up until just after 40. After 40, I again went into long-term hypomanic states, that didn't really become full-blown. It got to the point where my psychiatrist said that "hypomania" was my "baseline mood".

I'm 50 now. I'd say that for the last few years my "baseline" has actually been more normal than "hypomanic". I have not had any severe episodes for this period. I'm not sure what my future brings.

Have you been more often depressed or hypomanic/manic? And how much of your life, approximately, would you say you've been "baseline/stable"?

My life was so chaotic between 26 and around mid-40’s mostly because of being forced fed and Anti-depression meds which kept me in an mixed state. I don’t know what my unmediated self was. But mid 40’s I said no mor meds and calmed. But after a few years I went into a severe depression for over a year I holed up in my apartment avoiding people. Then it changed to mixed and I went to psych ER and met the most wonderful p-doc. He listened to my long rambling tale and agreed the AD were bad for me. He started me on an AP and lamiclol with sleeping pills and after a few months of adjustment I’ve been stable ever since! The AP has led to weight gain but I’m afraid to quit.

What is you favorite calming technique? Mine is a book. I keep trying to read until it clicks then I settle into a book and I can deal with the situation.

Listening to music

Favorite way to be physically active?

walking our dogs at the state park

Are you wearing a mask for therapy/pdoc?

Lately, no masks. I'm assuming that's officially OK. If not, then my new therapist and psychiatrist are ignoring it. I was wearing a mask (and so was she) when seeing my first therapist in Czech Republic, though I was not yet vaccinated then. However, all are now vaccinated. I am also fully vaccinated. Plus, Czech Republic's covid numbers are quite low right now. CZ is about the same size as the US state of South Carolina. As a comparison, CZ's daily new case numbers have been between 150 and 425. South Carolina's daily new cases have been more between 3,000 and 6,000 per day. People in CZ still have to wear masks (N95 ones, not some cloth thing) in indoor public places. Or if eating inside a restaurant, you officially have to show a proof of vaccination or negative covid test. I will admit that some restaurant owners don't fully enforce this, though other types of stores do. Another factor is that people more freely travel between US states. Czech Republic still slightly restricts travel from higher risk countries, like the US. Though EU and Schengen nations can travel to and from CZ, they have to show proof of vaccination or negative covid results if staying in CZ vs. just passing through.

What do you do that helps in some way (however small) to end the covid-19 pandemic?

I am vaccinated, wear masks and socially distance.

Do you have a favorite artist?

Oh, there’s so many Camille Claudel, Frida Kahlo, as a group the Scottish painters, there’s so many more! Love the 1900’s though the 40’s.

Same question who’s your favorite artist, can you pick just one?

A:I like Dalí a bunch, or a lot of Spanish artists -- el Greco is a favorite as well

Q: Do you have any nicknames?

Yeah, several variations of my name including [Sapien]-bee, [Sapien]-bean, and my name spelled backwards. Also "polar bear"

Do you like the name given to you at birth?

Yes it's a good name.

What do you do when you're really anxious but you have no prn that works for it?