[*Beth*]

Today I have a therapy appointment, then off to take my car out on the highway and drive in for a while in 5th gear. On to the mechanic for a smog check. I sure hope it passes, because I need to register it.

I am so over teletherapy appointments. They've been challenging all along, but it's become nearly unbearable. Supposedly by late June we're to return to IRL appointments.

x fingers crossed x

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I confess that feeling super grounded, for a long time, can make one feel too confident that that won't change, but the illness lives in hiding, sort of like a brain herpes. [Sorry for this example, but it sort of fits ]

I like the analogy! Yep...Unfortunately, BD can sometimes turn on a dime. It's good that you understand that & can engage in somewhat early intervention. You've been plodding along for some time now, Soupe. I don't mean to interfere, but it might be time to take your Czech pdoc up on his offer & call his office. I hope you were able to get some rest today.

@BethRags...I'm sorry to hear you're still stuck with teletherapy. I hated it! My therapist went to in-person at the end of February (she was able to get vaccinated), so I will be going to see her this week for a check-in session. I haven't seen my therapist for over four months, due, in part, to the fact I wasn't getting much out of the teletherapy. Good luck with your emissions test. I've heard they're pretty strict about such things in Cali.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m a bit down in the dumps today. Just the usual therapy related stuff. Yesterday I was totally fine. The weather was great though and today its not. So I think my moods often depend on the weather. I’m hoping to hear back from my surgeon today. I packed half my room yesterday and packing makes me feel better. My mom talked to my cousins wife yesterday and she just asked if I was happy and stuff. My mom said she’s ok with it but just doesn’t quite know how to approach it.

[Moose72]

I printed an 8x10 of Noah at age 9 pouting because I wouldn't buy him something. I used an ultra wide-angle lens to get the picture. (Sorry its sideways! Don't know why the forum does that.)

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

...

@BethRags...I'm sorry to hear you're still stuck with teletherapy. I hated it! My therapist went to in-person at the end of February (she was able to get vaccinated), so I will be going to see her this week for a check-in session. I haven't seen my therapist for over four months, due, in part, to the fact I wasn't getting much out of the teletherapy. Good luck with your emissions test. I've heard they're pretty strict about such things in Cali.

Thank you for your support, Buddha. My therapist has been fully vaccinated and I will be as of next Tuesday. Not sure why we have to wait until late June...*sigh*

Yes, California's emissions tests are rigid. A good thing, ultimately, because our pollution by the '80's had become horrible. But I think more prayers are said on "smog check day" than on any other day of the year

[Mountaindewed]

I’m really struggling with my depression today. I wonder when it will get easier.

[Moose72]

I got two more printed! I couldn't resist! There are so many more that I'd like to print!

[Sunflower123]

I told mom it was time to drive only very short distances and that I was talking to my brother and sister because I needed some help with her care. My sister stopped by and reiterated that it was time to drive short distances only. I can’t tell if mom feels angry, sad, betrayed, disappointed or offended but she’s treating me with distant, icy politeness. It’s uncomfortable being around her. She’s refusing my help when she clearly needs it. She confuses her day and night medicine and takes them incorrectly for starters. I suggested a pill pack for her medications and she said maybe in a year or two. I’m clueless as to how to proceed with the iciness. It’s hard to force help on someone when they won’t take it. I guess I’ll give it time...I don’t know what else to do.

My NP appointment went well and I’ve had a good day sitting in the sun for several hours with a good book.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I printed an 8x10 of Noah at age 9 pouting because I wouldn't buy him something. I used an ultra wide-angle lens to get the picture. (Sorry its sideways! Don't know why the forum does that.)

That photograph could win an award, Moose! Fabulous!!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I told mom it was time to drive only very short distances and that I was talking to my brother and sister because I needed some help with her care. My sister stopped by and reiterated that it was time to drive short distances only. I can’t tell if mom feels angry, sad, betrayed, disappointed or offended but she’s treating me with distant, icy politeness. It’s uncomfortable being around her. She’s refusing my help when she clearly needs it. She confuses her day and night medicine and takes them incorrectly for starters. I suggested a pill pack for her medications and she said maybe in a year or two. I’m clueless as to how to proceed with the iciness. It’s hard to force help on someone when they won’t take it. I guess I’ll give it time...I don’t know what else to do.

My NP appointment went well and I’ve had a good day sitting in the sun for several hours with a good book.

What might happen if you ask her how she's feeling?

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

That photograph could win an award, Moose! Fabulous!!

Thanks! I've always liked it!

[buddha1too]

@Moose72...Nice pictures, Moose, but you should buy Noah a green & white sweatshirt! That maize & blue stuff just doesn't cut it!

@Jennifer 1967...It was inevitable that your mother would feel lost about losing a piece of her independence. I posted about my experience with my aunt in a previous post. The USA is a car culture...think back to being 16 & how much getting a license meant! Losing that independence is a stage of life, too. You know you're doing the right thing. Hang in there.

It's been fairly quiet on the boards today. Not much to report here. The NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship Game started a bit ago, so I'm going to run. I'm hoping everyone takes it easy & has a good night's sleep.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

@Moose72...Nice pictures, Moose, but you should buy Noah a green & white sweatshirt! That maize & blue stuff just doesn't cut it!

Haha! Funny! These are old pix- about 10 years old.

My first night on 12mg of Valium went not bad. It took hours to get to sleep but i didn't mind. I got my dog out twice today, walking her the second time. Otherwise i just watched "Parks and Recreation." Boy, that was a long-running show. Glad tomorrow is the official end to the holiday weekend and my regular ZOOM events and shows are on. Made it!

Hugs to all!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

What might happen if you ask her how she's feeling?

Excellent question. I’ll ask her tomorrow. Thank you.

[Soupe du jour]

I know that I am a bit unwell. I've contacted a psychiatrist. Hugs to all.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I know that I am a bit unwell. I've contacted a psychiatrist. Hugs to all.

You’ve done an incredible job getting moved to a whole other continent and I’ve been amazed at what you’ve accomplished. I hope this is a small blip on your radar. Good for you for contacting a psychiatrist at the signs of being unwell. Wishing you the best in feeling better soon.

[buddha1too]

@Soupe du jour...I'm glad you got in touch with your pdoc. I'm sure he'll be able to offer some suggestions to have you up & running at 100% soon. I hope your days aren't quite as difficult as your nights have been.

@whatever2013...You crazy Canucks! It sounds like you have Easter Monday as a holiday, too! I'm glad your schedule will return to normal today.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I know that I am a bit unwell. I've contacted a psychiatrist. Hugs to all.

oh goodwhen will you hear from them do you know? or do you have an appointment already?
bizi

@wildflowerchild25
Happy (belated) Birthday, wildflowerchild!!

(I read that right, yes?)

[gina_re]

Well I think I'm done. This friendship with this person is more trouble than it's worth. I deleted everything. I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm just tired of getting my hopes up to always be disappointed in people.

@gina_re: I'm sorry things didn't work out with your friend. You seem like a woman who gives a lot and you deserve loving friends.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapy session went well today. I was a bit anxious. I told her about my oral sensory things and she was all like “ok” then she said if I needed to bring them into our in person sessions in a couple weeks that would be fine. There is no way I’m going to do that but I’m glad she’s accepting of it. I was worried. She told me I use the word weird a lot. I have never noticed that before. I just asked my mom and she said I do use it a lot. But today went well. I feel like I’m basically acting the same way that I was with old T except without the transference issues. She’s more professional then old T but shows more emotion and isn’t such a blank slate.

Besides therapy I spent the morning going to Dollar Generals just looking for some stuff. I didn’t find much.

But I threw out my unisom because I gained about 9 pounds since starting it. I was getting super hungry at night after taking it and I was eating like entire pints of ice cream and other stuff. My mom said my eating seemed more frantic at night and we both agreed it was the unisom since nothing else has changed. So hopefully I can get back to where I was and continue to lose even more. I have a goal to reach by October.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@gina_re: I'm sorry things didn't work out with your friend. You seem like a woman who gives a lot and you deserve loving friends.

Thank you for your kind words. I always give so much of myself to people who honestly don't deserve it. I guess in some way I'm trying so hard to be loved when I am in fact unlovable.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Thank you for your kind words. I always give so much of myself to people who honestly don't deserve it. I guess in some way I'm trying so hard to be loved when I am in fact unlovable.

Of course you're not unlovable! I can tell from knowing you on the forum that you're a kind and giving person. My guess is that you might tend to choose people who are not the emotionally healthiest. And what can you do, except keep working on yourself until you learn how to make better choices.