[*Beth*]

I have a huge problem right now in terms of a tremor. My hands are shaking something awful, but so is my jaw, arms, legs, feet. Of course I keep knocking things over, dropping things, and twice I've choked on water so severely, I was really scared by it. My pdoc has no more ideas of what to do, so has referred me to a neurologist. That was 1 week ago; I checked on the referral today and it's "in process." It all sounds like there won't be any rush with it. I finally gave in and took an Amantadine - maybe even 100mg (rather than 200) will lessen the tremoring. There's also a degree of akathesia, fortunately that's not terribly bad. I'm feeling rather desperate at this point.

@gina_re: Of course you are loveable! Perhaps look at your pattern of choices for friends and see if you are making any errors. There are all types of relationships. Someone who is appropriate as an acquaintance may not be suitable as a close friend.

@BethRags: So sorry to hear of your shaking problem and akathisia. I hope you get some medical attention soon.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Of course you're not unlovable! I can tell from knowing you on the forum that you're a kind and giving person. My guess is that you might tend to choose people who are not the emotionally healthiest. And what can you do, except keep working on yourself until you learn how to make better choices.

This is why I stick to myself and very hesitant to let people into my life bc I'm continuously let down. It's why I don't get attached to people bc it never fails to be let down. As far as making better choices...I don't even make them. People somehow find their way into my bubble and sometimes I end up letting them in. And I guess its bc I'm so tired of being alone.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@gina_re: Of course you are loveable! Perhaps look at your pattern of choices for friends and see if you are making any errors. There are all types of relationships. Someone who is appropriate as an acquaintance may not be suitable as a close friend.

I've never been good with making and keeping friends. Something must legit be wrong with me. I know you guys are being nice, but I just don't see it. This goes back to elementary and middle school. This is why I will die alone. I used to be ok with that, but sometimes when I actually realize it, it hurts.

Originally Posted by gina_re

This is why I stick to myself and very hesitant to let people into my life bc I'm continuously let down. It's why I don't get attached to people bc it never fails to be let down. As far as making better choices...I don't even make them. People somehow find their way into my bubble and sometimes I end up letting them in. And I guess its bc I'm so tired of being alone.

Originally Posted by gina_re

I've never been good with making and keeping friends. Something must legit be wrong with me. I know you guys are being nice, but I just don't see it. This goes back to elementary and middle school. This is why I will die alone. I used to be ok with that, but sometimes when I actually realize it, it hurts.

I can totally relate to these.

Totally.

And I don't think we're just being nice. You are lovable. There's just a lot of not so great people out there.

[gina_re]

Thank you guys for listening. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments. I'm just frustrated. I need a couple of days to be upset, and then I'll be back to "normal".
I'm headed out from work to get a manicure. Maybe that'll help me feel better. Now what color to get....

[Moose72]

I'm trying to sharpen this photo of N2. Its not easy! I wish there were one button that I could click that would magically fix this!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I can totally relate to these.

Totally.

And I don't think we're just being nice. You are lovable. There's just a lot of not so great people out there.

Amen to that. There are a lot of not so great people out there.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I have a huge problem right now in terms of a tremor. My hands are shaking something awful, but so is my jaw, arms, legs, feet. Of course I keep knocking things over, dropping things, and twice I've choked on water so severely, I was really scared by it. My pdoc has no more ideas of what to do, so has referred me to a neurologist. That was 1 week ago; I checked on the referral today and it's "in process." It all sounds like there won't be any rush with it. I finally gave in and took an Amantadine - maybe even 100mg (rather than 200) will lessen the tremoring. There's also a degree of akathesia, fortunately that's not terribly bad. I'm feeling rather desperate at this point.

I’m sorry you’re going through that. It sounds frightening. I hope that referral comes through for you soon.

[Sunflower123]

PT for my back pain was b.r.u.t.a.l. My expectations were low but dang this was so not fun. I am determined though to see this through so I signed up for 3 times a week until my daughter’s graduation. I should see significant improvement by then they said. I’m all in. So this is actually good news I say as I walk around like a limp noodle.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by gina_re

I've never been good with making and keeping friends. Something must legit be wrong with me. I know you guys are being nice, but I just don't see it. This goes back to elementary and middle school. This is why I will die alone. I used to be ok with that, but sometimes when I actually realize it, it hurts.

I'm not just being nice, you seem like a genuinely good person.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm not just being nice, you seem like a genuinely good person.

I'm sorry, I was just caught up in my feelings earlier. I didn't mean to offend. I'm sorry

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I'm trying to sharpen this photo of N2. Its not easy! I wish there were one button that I could click that would magically fix this!

she is a beauty!
bizi

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bizi

she is a beauty!
bizi

Thanks! She didn't want her picture taken hence the grumpy look! She's 21 now. Amazing!

[gina_re]

Has anyone ever used a dbt workbook, or any kind of self help book and have had success?

I had a very rocky night of sleep and worry the benzo taper is finally kicking in but had an extra quiet day today so i was fine. I was too tired to go to my ZOOM support group but i did manage the social hour and had a nice time. I'm tired of these good-looking sunny days that are so cold so i didn't go out today. Bad girl. The weather man keeps promising warmth but i'll believe it when i see it.

I watched my soaps today and had a nice time. I so like the slow pace and solid colors of soaps. It's sooooooooooooo relaxing.

Hugs to all!

[gina_re]

How did you find a Zoom support group?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Has anyone ever used a dbt workbook, or any kind of self help book and have had success?

You didn't offend me, gina_re

I have found that self-help workbooks aren't helpful for me unless I am working with a therapist along with the concept of the book. But that's certainly not true of everyone; I can think of several people on this forum who have successful worked through CBT and DBT workbooks on their own.

[Soupe du jour]

Hi everybody! Sorry I'm behind here. I have read the most recent posts. I'm doing OK now, but still have more energy than at baseline. I communicated with my American psychiatrist and have a plan to keep my spring upswing under some control.

I had the best night's sleep so far, last night. It was the second night in a row that my husband joined me on the futon. He agrees it's friendlier than the two beds upstairs. Today we are expecting a memory foam topper to be delivered. Maybe that will make one of the beds more bearable. Our actual new bedroom suite (with mattress we tested) is due to arrive in about two weeks. It was ordered seven weeks ago. That mattress better be as comfortable as in the show room!

Yesterday I realized the likely cause of my shoulder, arm, and back pain, as well as the tingling or numbness in my hands and feet upon waking up. An injury from my whole "move" (house sale prep, packing, unpacking, etc.) All of the physical labor started in October, and didn't stop until just recently. That, combined with evil ***** [donkey] mattresses, has not allowed for physical healing. All along I was blaming my blood pressure medication or catastrophizing that it was something worse.

I've been preparing more healthful meals lately, but haven't exactly dieted. Because of that, I have lost 3 lbs in less than 2 weeks. Sweet! I'll try to expand on that. I'd like to drop 10 lbs, at the very least.

@gina_re: We have two support groups in my city that are doing ZOOM. I always keep in touch with both of them. There might be random ones on ZOOM if your city does not have any. You'd just have to Google.

[Mountaindewed]

I went to a bunch of thrift stores today looking for a rocking chair. My therapist said yesterday it might help. I found one at a Goodwill for $13. It does help. I was crabby today and I really had to use the bathroom and I’m still unsure of which one I can get away with using. I think I won’t get yelled at if I go in the men’s. Places weren’t crowded but people were out today.

Overall besides being moody I feel ok. I drove by my cousins house and she was out with the baby and my mom wanted to drop in and say hi. I originally stayed in the car since the baby is 4 months old and I’m not vaccinated. But then my cousin said it was ok. So I went out and my cousin was totally cool. This is the first time I’ve seen this cousin in almost 3 years. She has issues with her dad, my uncle. So she’s not around much but she likes everyone else in the family. My whole family is very supportive of me though and she’s no different. I was very comfortable around her.

[buddha1too]

@Soupe du jour...Your post seems to indicate you're in a better space today. A good night's sleep can work wonders. I hope the improvement continues.

@gina_re...I'm sorry you're having such doubts about your relationships. I think most people occasionally harbor some insecurities, so you're certainly not alone in that respect. CBT & DBT work was helpful for me but, like BethRags, I did my work with a therapist.

@whatever2013...I hope you had a better night's sleep last night & are able to get out & about today. Having Hush kind of forces you to get outside, I'm guessing. There was a three-year period when we didn't have a dog (we had our previous dog euthanized due to old age & couldn't imagine replacing her). I found it much easier to isolate during that time. Isolation isn't my friend when I get depressed...

It's almost 80F here...Unreal for April! My partner wants me to drain & run the snowblower dry, but I'm certain that will jinx us! My sister's birthday is April 17, & there have been a few occasions when we've had measurable snowfalls. Anyways, I hope everyone is in the midst of a tolerable day...though a GREAT day would be preferable.

[*Beth*]

I'm starting my day late, even for being out here in the west. The darn tremor (which feels more like being held by a giant vibrating machine) is slowing my life down, and impairing it. I so wish the amantadine and cogentin would kick in. Even some relief would be welcomed. Pdoc thinks I might have tardive dyskinesia; I guess that's why she's sending me to the neurologist. She said there are a number of new meds available to treat TD.

[Nammu]

Oh, Beth I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully 🙏 there’s a med that works.

Well! I’m learning the new washing machine language. I pushed the wrong button and it said delay and the number 15. I thought oh well, 15 minutes! No. Two hours later the number was 14! So I turned it off and back on. Ah ha! The old un plug it trick. So finally the clothes are washing. Sir is fascinated with the sounds it makes. He sits on the steps and watches it.

It’s pretty warm here too but very muggy. Thank goodness the April showers have come. Wisconsin is burning it’s so dry. Yeah, Buddha you drain the snowblower ole Mother Nature will dump a foot of snow our way.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

@gina_re...I'm sorry you're having such doubts about your relationships. I think most people occasionally harbor some insecurities, so you're certainly not alone in that respect. CBT & DBT work was helpful for me but, like BethRags, I did my work with a therapist.

Thank you. I'm just tired of so many people in and out of my life, but it has slowed down as I get older bc I've learned most of my lessons. But still some slip through.
The reason I asked about self help books is bc I can't afford a therapist right now. My previous tdoc that I was seeing last summer used cbt which is good, but most of the time every time he told me something I already knew it, or it didn't address the problem I was having and brought to his attention. Great man, but I think I outgrew him and want to try something new.