Bipolar check-in #56

I'd love to say I am back upright and feel better. But no.. I finally got out of bed after 3pm. Hours of staring at the wall. I cant even think of what my thoughts were. I am up and cleaning, altho its not a soothing coping skill as it almost always has been.

I'll just wallow in my mud hole of pity for a while. They say its good for the skin?

Because I’m often a complete ***** for no reason.

What’s funny is I’m practically non verbal in real life because I most likely have selective mutism. I can only talk freely to my mom and whatever therapist I’m working with at the time, and I ignore everyone else. Even close family members. I do fine talking online, but my online side does not represent how I actually am in person.

It’s almost like a double life.

Happy Birthday Budda !!!

I hope your day has been great and you have a fantastic year

Yeah I noticed you post a lot but don’t get replies. Even though you respond to other people. People can just be really cliquish.

More birthday wishes for you!

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Yeah, thanks for seconding my observation . I’m guessing people have me on ignore. It would be great if I could ignore my bipolar . Not everybody who has bipolar is the same. I post to remind myself I have bipolar , because I have serious consequences when I act like I don’t . So even if the majority of the posters ignore me at least I know I’m not ignoring my bipolar .

Yeah this site has been great at reminding me of what was going on a few months ago and if I’ve made progress or have regressed. It’s almost like a journal. I wish I could go back more then 200 pages.

For me to participate in a forum for people with bipolar keeps it real. I recently found out what happens when I don’t take my bipolar seriously . I’ve tried posting about it here and there but nobody has responded . I don’t know why people aren’t offering me support but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to deal with bipolar.

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Hi! I have not checked in in a long time and wanted to say hi and see how everyone is doing. I am doing okay. I think definitely better than this time last year. My job has had me busy and I always feel behind but otherwise it's good. I have had the opportunity to see friends/family more since moving. Mental health wise I have been decent, except hormones being off these past couple of months which always affects my mental health. I need to pick back up some hobbies or volunteering so I am doing more than working. I got neuropsych testing done this past week because of my memory and attention issues, so I am looking forward to finding out those results. I literally get lost in places I have been many times and I don't think it's normal for my age. I am loving my partner's dog. She is so cute and loves to play and cuddle so it helps my mood. This post is a bit rambling, but that is the gist of things. Now I need to go update myself on how you all have been doing

I am happy to hear you got your first dose and are doing okay! I need to get a portable air conditioner for my bedroom as well. My apartment doesn't have any central air but I have been putting it off. I hope you have settled in nicely after your move.

Good luck finding the doctors and therapists! PMDD is rough, I hope you and your doctors can find something to help you manage it, but I know that doesn't always work out that way for people.

I am not up to date on everything that is going on, but I am so sorry to hear how much you are struggling. I really hope the NP works out for you.

@yellow_fleurs

Nice to see you! I’m glad you’re doing well. I hope the testing reveals something that is relatively easy to remedy. Or better yet nothing wrong at all!

I'm around. Miguel bought me markers! Now I have to learn how to really use them. I have to wait to get marker paper that fit in the printer. I'm so in love with them. There easy to open and refillable. It's so sweet of him. He's going to learn with me as our thing. He doesn't like the drawings but he's still game on at least trying it. I'm trying to just enjoy no symptoms. For the first time in a very long time I was able to do paperwork without having intense anxiety. Monday (maybe Sunday) I'm going to get back to learning art. My husband loves to paint but I'm more of a coloring artist. I do want to learn to draw. I don't feel like creative not working on an original piece done by me. lets hope I can stick to it this time.

MM, I am SO happy for you!

SO HAPPY to see you!!! And very glad to see that things are going well

Fantastic News !!!

Thank you!

@yellow_fleurs and @daladico, it's nice to see you here again. I'm happy to read that you both feel fine. @Miguel'smom, art sounds like a lovely healthy coping project. I'm glad you are exploring it.

Daladico, I remember you as being physically active and liking to hike. Right? That's helpful at fighting AP weight gain. Maybe soon your dose can be lowered a bit? That sometimes helps. I was experiencing some weight gain from my Seroquel XR, but then I started to track my eating again. Sometimes that's a good motivator to rethink eating habits. I know. Easier said than done. But for me, some little switches turned on do wonders.

@Ursula Shackleton, welcome to the forum! We look forward to getting to know you better, if you like it here.

leomama, I have tried to respond to your posts, recently, but couldn't. You seem to have blocked me. Frankly, I haven't the foggiest idea why you did. If I upset you, or rubbed you the wrong way, in the past, I apologize. It's possible that you won't see this post, since you blocked me. I can't even send it to you by PM.

Regarding the block feature:

I totally see its merit. Sometimes certain members can be triggering, in some way. Sometimes we need a break (briefly or permanent) from some members. Most of us are dealing with stress or mood fluctuations that bring irritability or other emotional sensitivities, and don't want that exacerbated. I have. But also there can come a time to open the door again, to test the waters. I have blocked or or been blocked by members that after unblocking (one or both sides) became online friends, or at least valuable supportive members for each other. Obviously, the more members you block, often the fewer responses you'll get. Also, when you block a member, you prevent them from responding to any thread you personally create. Not just your posts within a thread. I suppose that's not a big issue if your thread is very personal. But if it's a general topic, a blocker's thread then becomes a form of blacklisting of the blocked member(s). That's unpleasant and often hurtful. Anyway, there often comes a time to let bygones be bygones. Long-term anger and grudges usually do no good. Right now I have no members blocked, but I have in the past. How many members do you have blocked? If any, will you consider unblocking some?

Thank you, @yellow_fleurs! I hope you get that air-conditioner soon, too. Ours was operating, but we noticed water dripping on our bedroom floor. My husband is trying to fix that.

Yes, after our second covid booster we'll feel more freed. We're planning a trip to a mountain resort in Slovakia after them. In general, we're mostly settled in, but I confess my Czech language learning efforts have been totally insufficient. It's not just laziness, but a bit of anxiety-induced reluctance, if that makes any sense. Also, we feel isolated. Some unforseen happenings have furthered that. Long story. In any case, I'm trying to be positive, and though it is an adventure, it's not the blast that some outsiders might see it to be. You know, "Moving abroad! Wow!" But there's still big stress and uncertainty. To a degree, we're still figuratively hiding in our room. Just on the other side of the Atlantic.

You have always been among the kindest members to me here. Again, nice to see you again.

I don’t have any members blocked because I have a lot of mega threads open on the coffee house and general chat forums and when I’ve tried blocking members before I’ve gotten talked to by the moderators.

I’ve tried to allow non friends to send messages and I’ve even edited that feature online several times. I guess I could ask an admin for help at this point. You shouldn’t be blocked.

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In terms of my bipolar, well, my job is pushing me to my physical and emotional limits. I have to take drugs to sleep and drugs to be cheerful enough to be around other people . I’m really hoping when I get back to therapeutic levels of my mood stabilizer I can make changes in my life. I am definitely not happy.

Thanks, leomama! If this goes through, then I'll know I'm unblocked.

Success!

I fixed it on my profile , I thought I had enabled messaging but it was wall messages.