Bipolar check-in #56

I hope when you read this London ( great name) is feeling much better.

A few weeks ago Gus got super sick and we had to take him to the Vet. They decided Gastritis gave us antibiotics and a med to help settle his stomach down. he was totally back to normal in 2 days. He wasnt thrilled about eating, cant blame him..

I honestly flip out when my dogs are not feeling well !

@Jennifer 1967...True, that! While the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is also intense, it's nothing compared to the violent history of encounters between Dodgers and Giants fans. Google "Dodgers-Giants fan violence," if you're interested.

Update: Curses! Those damned Dodgers won 2-1. @BethRags can't catch a break!

Fantastic !!!!!

Well the great thing today is I found a groomer to clip all 3 dogs nails... best part she is only 11 miles away!!!! Thats huge last place we went was almost an hour a way . " Tina" trimmed up Gus's and Sirius's hair on there feet and pads, Dexter is super short coat so no need. She was done with them in less than 10 mins! which I love because the dogs get stressed. She only charges 5.00 per dog ! Most places want 15-20 per dog. She was so gentle, Kissing them all on the nose. So Another good thing is Gus didn't puke in the car !!! Up until now every single time he does.

I went to Hellmart today ( bleh) but I wanted to print out a few pictures. On our dark red dining room wall I want to put up pics of the kids and Steves granddaughter ( long story why I dont feel like a Grandmother) anyway I printed off 4 pictures in black and white.. They came out stunning and will be using simple black frames. But the dumb cashier didn't put them in my bags .. Yes I should have double checked, Hellmart is terrible about that. I got home and called they do have them.. SO now I have to make the dumb drive tomorrow.. Its 23 miles there.. ugh!

Sad note I still have the rage-y stuff and depression for sure. Most nights even if I don't sleep its so hard to get out of bed. I lay there thinking lots of negative self stuff.. * sigh*

Finally put the AC on 82 in the house even with a nice breeze, Nope I cant handle being hot I turn into a nasty witch about it.

I am really looking forward to seeing my T Richard in person next week..

My Daughter will be here in 22 days

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags My kitty London is okay!!! His blood work and everything else came back normal. He's just had a bad reaction to the antibiotic he was given. He's getting some hydration and anti-nausea medication. I am so, so grateful. Now I can enjoy watching the Giants beat the Dodgers tonight

So glad London is okay! I can feel your relief. Hope you enjoyed the baseball. I have yet to explore baseball but i did get to two live pro-football games before COVID hit and loved them, so electric, the excitement!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom Possible trigger: "Ana"'s stupid and she suck... I want a drink and "she's" being all stupid about it because there's no clear cut calories for it. Stupid voice in my head. Why'd "she" show up after the pdoc visit? Now I have to ignore "her" *** for three months. I'm telling T but water is the only safe thing and I can't physically get the water. I'm trying to reason with "her" telling "her" weight loss isn't the best thing as Dr's don't know what's going on with me. I've been arguing all day with "her". Stupid voice in my head. "She's" saying if I had listened to her instead of muting "her" with pills I'd be okay right now and not in this mess. "she" lies I'd be dead. I know she's just in my head. I know how it sounds. I know that "she" is me.

Wow, this post has me really concerned. Do you have DID? Or anorexic-tendencies? I'm really worried about you. You don't sound well at all.

But alcohol won't help, i know you know that on some level. Are your husband and son well enough that you could ask them for some special support during this episode?

I know you just saw your psychiatrist and have to wait three months to see them again but that doesn't seem reasonable. Seems like you need help NOW.

Are there any community resources that could tide you over? Do you have a therapist you could see immediately?

You really sound very different...

Please take good care of yourself and that includes adequate hydration.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu I get to go to my granddaughter’s dance recital!!! They opened it up so that three people can go and my daughter invited me! Oh how exciting. My first outing that is to someplace other than the grocery store! 😆

@Nammu and all:

Yay for getting to go to the dance recital! I'm sure it will be darling. I was in a dance recital as a youngster.

My class dressed as farmers in overalls but with short pants so our costumes weren't the greatest. Would have much rather been a fairy princess!!! It was a hoot but went on forever. Be prepared!

But yay for getting to go somewhere other than the frozen-foods section!!!

@Jennifer 1967 and all:

Wow, what a great day you had! Grats for stopping at the cafe you've been curious about. I love doing things like that!

We have a world-famous cafe downtown in my city and i adore going there early weekend mornings for an omelet and cafe-au-lait served in a bowl and people-watching and reading the newspaper.

And then the freebie you got at the movie -- fantastique!

Sorry the following day was not as nice but i guess they can't all be winners, sadly.

Yeah, computer technology is a boon for aging eyes. I zoom everything up waaaaay big.

Hope you have another nice day today!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Well the great thing today is I found a groomer to clip all 3 dogs nails... best part she is only 11 miles away!!!! Thats huge last place we went was almost an hour a way . " Tina" trimmed up Gus's and Sirius's hair on there feet and pads, Dexter is super short coat so no need. She was done with them in less than 10 mins! which I love because the dogs get stressed. She only charges 5.00 per dog ! Most places want 15-20 per dog. She was so gentle, Kissing them all on the nose. So Another good thing is Gus didn't puke in the car !!! Up until now every single time he does. I went to Hellmart today ( bleh) but I wanted to print out a few pictures. On our dark red dining room wall I want to put up pics of the kids and Steves granddaughter ( long story why I dont feel like a Grandmother) anyway I printed off 4 pictures in black and white.. They came out stunning and will be using simple black frames. But the dumb cashier didn't put them in my bags .. Yes I should have double checked, Hellmart is terrible about that. I got home and called they do have them.. SO now I have to make the dumb drive tomorrow.. Its 23 miles there.. ugh! Sad note I still have the rage-y stuff and depression for sure. Most nights even if I don't sleep its so hard to get out of bed. I lay there thinking lots of negative self stuff.. * sigh* Finally put the AC on 82 in the house even with a nice breeze, Nope I cant handle being hot I turn into a nasty witch about it. I am really looking forward to seeing my T Richard in person next week.. My Daughter will be here in 22 days

@~Christina and all:

That's great that you found a place for the dogs' nails close, inexpensive and with an affectionate groomer. It can be a bit of an ordeal. I just found out about a dog-nail-clipper in the West of the city that sounds similar. I'm eager to try them out, have been paying $20 at the vet.

Glad Gus is getting used to the car. I had two beautiful Siamese cats when i was married in my twenties and we took them in the car once in a carrier and one barfed all over the other and we had to bathe them -- you know how they loved that. That was the first and last time we took the one prone to car-sickness in the car.

That's a great idea about the photo's done on the photocopier at Hellmart. I do that too, only i make multi-page enlargements for gigantic images that have a lot of impact, a technique i learned while working as a graphic artist's assistant. It's an inexpensive way to decorate and i can do a new series every few years for a whole new look.

Sorry the copies were forgotten, i know you hate Hellmart and now you have to go back, twice in two days. Maybe once you're done your creation you could post a photo of it? I'd love to see how it turns out, it sounds intriguing.

YOUR DAUGHTER IS COMING TO VISIT!!! Yay! You known you're excited when you're counting down the days!

Sorry for being grouchy with you here in the past a couple times. Sometimes i can't fathom myself. I'll be more pleasant going forward.

My anniversary today has been a much more casual celebration than my recent birthday. Hubby did buy me some very nice presents. I got a lovely red wallet decorated with flowers and hummingbirds, along with a matching coin holder with a butterfly on it. Also some summery cute shoes, and a beautiful set of pajamas with birds on them. And an orchid. I know he spent way more money on me than I did him. I bought him a fan for his office (he picked it out), plus a book, in Czech, about mushroom picking and an atlas book, in English, of European birds. Birds, birds. We love them! Other than that, we've just been doing outside and in house work. Our grill is finally ready, but I am too tired to prepare what I meant for that.

That's it for me.

I fell asleep last night around 8. I slept until 3:45. I took my Geodon and I fell back asleep and I was going to get up at my usual 6:30 time but I fell back asleep until 8:45. That’s the latest I’ve slept in for awhile. But I needed it. Today I feel ok so far. I had my weekly injection which happened to be in the same arm as the vaccine. I have to alternate arms each week for my shot. But so far I haven’t had any side effects from anything and my vertigo isn’t an issue. I’ll see how things get after I take a Xanax. But I have my energy back for right now.

I feel like my old therapist has just turned into everyone else who has come and gone in my life in the last 15 years. I feel like she’s just another feather in the breeze now. I’m wondering what the big deal with her was anyways. Why things were so intense. She really wasn’t any different then anyone else. But this is how it usually is with people in my life. At the moment they are amazing. Then after I’m like “meh, she was cool but not any different then anyone else.” Then I end up forgetting about them.

Edit: the vertigo came back and I have a headache. It again started after the cold water I drank. It’s not as bad as it was yesterday though. I can’t tell if it’s the cold water I’ve been drinking or the fan. Right now I have the fan turned off and I’m drinking bottled water and I used my vertigo oil. So the vertigo is ok. I just o took Tylenol for the headache.

I’ll be glad when the pool opens next weekend. It will open Saturday but the pool party and cookout will be Monday. Hopefully, my daughter will be able to join me and we’ll get mom down there. It’s a lot of fun. The water will be like needles but that will be welcome in this hot Southern sun. I tried to read in the sun today with my Sangria but it’s too hot even in the shade. It is for me anyway.

I think if the stars align just right, I will take mom to Florida. She’s running out of years to go down there and she does love sitting in the surf right at the edge of the waves. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. We went to Costco yesterday for hours. That was a test. I passed. Tomorrow we’re going to a large Farmers Market downtown on the hunt for strawberries from a specific state. She’ll need her walker. Another good test. For my capabilities, not hers.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend. Hugs to all!

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too @Jennifer 1967...True, that! While the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is also intense, it's nothing compared to the violent history of encounters between Dodgers and Giants fans. Google "Dodgers-Giants fan violence," if you're interested. Update: Curses! Those damned Dodgers won 2-1. @BethRags can't catch a break!

Oh, the rivalry gets vicious. It's ugly.


Yeah, a loss for the G-men. The Dodgers pitcher, Bauer, was stellar. He had the Giants' number, for sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Well the great thing today is I found a groomer to clip all 3 dogs nails... best part she is only 11 miles away!!!! Thats huge last place we went was almost an hour a way . " Tina" trimmed up Gus's and Sirius's hair on there feet and pads, Dexter is super short coat so no need. She was done with them in less than 10 mins! which I love because the dogs get stressed. She only charges 5.00 per dog ! Most places want 15-20 per dog. She was so gentle, Kissing them all on the nose. So Another good thing is Gus didn't puke in the car !!! Up until now every single time he does. I went to Hellmart today ( bleh) but I wanted to print out a few pictures. On our dark red dining room wall I want to put up pics of the kids and Steves granddaughter ( long story why I dont feel like a Grandmother) anyway I printed off 4 pictures in black and white.. They came out stunning and will be using simple black frames. But the dumb cashier didn't put them in my bags .. Yes I should have double checked, Hellmart is terrible about that. I got home and called they do have them.. SO now I have to make the dumb drive tomorrow.. Its 23 miles there.. ugh! Sad note I still have the rage-y stuff and depression for sure. Most nights even if I don't sleep its so hard to get out of bed. I lay there thinking lots of negative self stuff.. * sigh* Finally put the AC on 82 in the house even with a nice breeze, Nope I cant handle being hot I turn into a nasty witch about it. I am really looking forward to seeing my T Richard in person next week.. My Daughter will be here in 22 days

Terrific news about the groomer! $5 per dog sounds like a price from the 1950's - really fair!

Pissy WalMart...how extremely irritating to have to drive 23 miles. You know, they should give you a gift certificate for having to drive back to pick up your purchases. I know my husband would sure speak to someone about it. He's persistent like that.

I'm so sorry about the rage-y stuff, and about the depression

I can't tolerate the heat, either. I blast my a/c in the car. Our weather now is magnificent, but when it gets to 90 - a/c time it is!

BIG hugs for you, Christina

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ....

Md I had some relief from the vertigo with Advil. Can you take ibuprophen?

I can’t take Advil or ibuprofen because of my kidney issues.

Funny that when a mental health professional tells me don’t/do something I don’t listen but when a medical doctor tells me don’t/do something I listen.

But Tylenol helps. and turning off the fan helped. But I just drank some cold water and the vertigo is coming back a bit.

I swear I’m just losing my mind. My mom says the water is perfectly fine and others have been drinking it. I had been drinking warm bottled water from the garage with no issue until 15 minutes ago.

My vertigo oil works pretty well. I don’t know if it’s legit or just a placebo but if it works then I guess it’s good.

I am really scared right now and I don’t know if it’s still a vaccine reaction or what. But I am suddenly very nervous. I don’t want to be here. I mean in my new house. not here as in general here. I’m not s or having thoughts of sh. I’m just pretty freaked out.

Well it was an adventure! My poor granddaughter got overwhelmed by all the people watching so so forgot half her dance but still pretty good for 3. Her dress was awesome. I would have been totally overwhelmed too. They held the dance on a hockey floor so it was a huge space but they limited the number of people. Very very few people were wearing masks but a lot like me were carrying them because, do ya or don’t ya? The rules are confusing.

We went out to eat afterwards. There were others from the dance there too. The participants all got a T-shirt.

This is interesting because my sister had a reaction to chemo triggered by cold water...it only happens with cold so you have to avoid it until the chemo is out of your system. I’m not sure why it only happens with cold but it could be a related phenomenon for you.

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Kinda annoyed because people have to be so triggered they get other people going who do not need that kind of stress right now.

Yeah the cold water thing happened right after I got the vaccine. I had some now because I needed to take my meds and it made my brain feel funny and I’m getting a slight headache. I do wonder if it’s some bizarre reaction to the vaccine. I’ll probably get a big case of bottled water tomorrow.

My stress levels are through the roof right now so I took a shower and I feel a bit better. I had salmon for dinner and it made my anxiety better. Salmon actually has been proven to make you feel better mentally. I just need my stress to cool down now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Well it was an adventure! My poor granddaughter got overwhelmed by all the people watching so so forgot half her dance but still pretty good for 3. Her dress was awesome. I would have been totally overwhelmed too. They held the dance on a hockey floor so it was a huge space but they limited the number of people. Very very few people were wearing masks but a lot like me were carrying them because, do ya or don’t ya? The rules are confusing. We went out to eat afterwards. There were others from the dance there too. The participants all got a T-shirt.

That sounds divine! The perfect day.

Yes, the mask thing is so confusing now.

No voices today and I was home alone!! I might be stable I talk to T Tuesday and I have nothing to say. I am quiet and isolating but maybe that's just me?

take it a day at a time!
bizi

Tomorrow is my family member's internment and memorial service. I'm dreading it. I think I don't want to admit he's really and truly gone. I'll be exhausted tomorrow but also just relieved. Then I just have to force my brother to get down here and distribute my bio-father's ashes too.

good luck tomorrow!
may there be some healing.....
bizi