Bipolar check-in #56

*Beth* · May 21, 2021, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

It's 5:00am and i've been up since 2:30am. I feel fine tho, awake and alert and no side-effects from the vax.

I spilled something on my tablet computer's hard-keyboard and it no longer works. So i'm using the soft-keyboard and it's slower so my messages should be shorter, which i'm sure you're all happy to hear!

The hard-keyboard also propped up the tablet computer so i had to make a hack with a Scrabble rack, some packing tape and a shoe box.

Hey, it works, it's free and it was 2:30am! I watched too much Mr. Dress-Up as a kid, i guess!

Hugs to all!

The flowers are so cheery and pretty. You know, you can use a blow dryer to dry a keyboard. It's worked for me.

buddha1too · May 21, 2021, 12:20 PM

@Innerzone...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Innerzone

This seemed strange to me, so I looked it up, and CZ is included. *Very* few countries aren't.
(Unless I'm totally misunderstanding your statement...)

Soupe was refering to the fact that a Czech doctor couldn't treat someone in another country via Zoom (licensing & all that good stuff). We were joking because I'm not entirely happy with my pdoc.

Mountaindewed · May 21, 2021, 12:34 PM

I slept terribly last night. I was up for about 4 hours. This morning though I felt pretty good until that vertigo nausea thing started happening again. I have a slight temp again. I’m about to call my doctor. It once again started today after a Xanax with a cold glass of water. I’m not having the mental health symptoms that I had yesterday though. I have an email into my therapist but I haven’t heard back yet. I’ll see what my doctor says.

Nammu · May 21, 2021, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

I have a history of over a decade of chronic back pain, with an emergency surgery of my lumbar spine and an emergency surgery of my cervical spine (2004 and 2007 respectively), both due to debilitating neurological symptoms.

But over the last couple of months my back has gotten a lot worse. And over the last couple of days I've had a lot of trouble walking (due to pain, not neurological symptoms) and really making any move at all. I've missed two days of work, because work involves a lot of walking and standing.

I'm scared... That I'll need yet another surgery, that it'll get worse, that -at 50 now- I'll slowly go downhill and have a harder and harder time doing the job I'm so passionate about.

My pain doctor said that, at this point, she HAS to have an MRI to see what is going on. The problem is that my insurance (most insurance) will not pay for one until I've made a 'good faith effort' to do some PT first. My doctor said she may be able to make the case for an MRI after 4-5 sessions.

I have never found PT to be very helpful, but I'll do it for a while to get the MRI. I already do a lot of stretching on my own. PT tends to focus on strengthening exercises, and this is what I have not found helpful.

But the PT clinic I want to go to is very busy and I don't start for 2 weeks. I want to go to this place because I have experience through my own work there and know they're good. It's also right across the street from the hospital where I work, so I can go right after work. I won't go before work, because I need so much sleep to maintain my stability.

So, I'm. so. damn. scared. And am in a lot of pain. I haven't seen a doctor specifically for this episode because I don't know what they could do for me: I already take methadone for another pain issue, I take an NSAID, low dose, because I can't take more because it was starting to affect my kidneys, and I can't take steroids because they send me sky-high, starting with hypomania. I do take extra klonopin (I have a 'stash' of extras) as a muscle relaxant and that helps a bit, but it makes me very drowsy so I can't take it at work. I know of another muscle relaxant that can be prescribed, but it also makes me very drowsy.

I just hope this, at least mostly, resolves on its own. And/or I can just go back to work and do the best I can...

Oh I hope you find a solution. I’ve had two back surgeries and went into a severe depression after my fusion. My turning point was an old fashioned X-ray from the side. I’d had a ton of mri s and though the docs said surgery I hesitated until I saw the X-ray. I’m starting pt again but the pain is less than it was before the surgery. It’s more mechanical now not nerve pain. I hope everything works out.

Soupe du jour · 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too

@Innerzone...

Soupe was refering to the fact that a Czech doctor couldn't treat someone in another country via Zoom (licensing & all that good stuff). We were joking because I'm not entirely happy with my pdoc.

@Innerzone, yes, what buddaha1too said is correct. We were referring to treatment across the sea. We were just kind of joking. But actually, my American psychiatrist did offer me video sessions (and advice/direction) even after my move to Czech Republic. But he could not prescribe anymore. For that reason, I had to get a Czech psychiatrist, who has already prescribed refills since I moved to CZ.

My American psychiatrist likely wouldn't offer all his patients what he offered me. I've known him for about 14 years, and I believe he was simply extra nice to me. The transition was a softer one because of that offer. I no longer pay him, so the video sessions stopped, but I am now emailing him updates, but probably just a few more times. I no longer have insurance in the US (I used to use my husband's, but he was terminated from his US job), and US Medicare doesn't pay with me living in Europe.

We could definitely do ZOOM meetings with Americans from CZ. Actually, I communicate with my family using WhatsApp for free, and vice versa. This technology is a godsend! In the past, calls to/from the US were very expensive. When my husband was a little boy in communist Czechoslovakia, not every household even had a phone. Some had to go to the post office to make international calls. [@buddha1too, do you remember that in East Germany? Operator assisted booths? Or was that before your time there? I called my folks from one when in Czechoslovakia, briefly, in 1992.] My husband's parents always had a phone, but mostly because his father was a doctor.

Mountaindewed · May 21, 2021, 01:33 PM

I called my doctor. He said it’s just a reaction from the vaccine but it’s nothing to be concerned about. I have a headache and nausea right now but my temp is back to normal. I took some Tylenol and a zofran. I’m hoping things clear up by tomorrow.

BeyondtheRainbow · May 21, 2021, 01:37 PM

Mountaindeweed, I'm sorry I've taken so long to tell you this; I keep forgetting. But for the vertigo, don't try tipping your head back. It takes a skilled practioner to assess where the crystals are and then that determines how your head is moved to fix the problem. Physical therapists, some occupational therapists and maybe some chiropractors (???) are trained in this. I was once upon a time but it was so long ago I can't give more information than this.

Sometimes psychotic · May 21, 2021, 01:47 PM

Hi all, thought I’d say Hi again. It’s been a while since I posted here. Since I’ve got bipolar with psychosis I typically post in the psychosis section but I’ve been having mood fluctuations lately. One day I’ll be totally feeling down and snappy then at work I’m almost artificially happy....seems like a danger sign to me. Working on getting a T again. I got some kind of intake appointment next week so we’ll see if they can find someone for me. I guess the reason I’m posting is I’m wondering what steps you guys take when things get dicey or start to go downhill. I haven’t had to deal with this much.

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*Beth* · May 21, 2021, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Hi all, thought I’d say Hi again. It’s been a while since I posted here. Since I’ve got bipolar with psychosis I typically post in the psychosis section but I’ve been having mood fluctuations lately. One day I’ll be totally feeling down and snappy then at work I’m almost artificially happy....seems like a danger sign to me. Working on getting a T again. I got some kind of intake appointment next week so we’ll see if they can find someone for me. I guess the reason I’m posting is I’m wondering what steps you guys take when things get dicey or start to go downhill. I haven’t had to deal with this much.

Hi Sp, It's good to see you around here. I wish I had some great advice to pass along. The most effective technique for me is to try my best to pay attention to my breathing, rather than to my thoughts. I also use my breath while I'm "counting to 10" if I feel snappy. Besides that, I use self talk and keep using it, even though it's not necessarily working perfectly.

Sometimes psychotic · May 21, 2021, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hi Sp, It's good to see you around here. I wish I had some great advice to pass along. The most effective technique for me is to try my best to pay attention to my breathing, rather than to my thoughts. I also use my breath while I'm "counting to 10" if I feel snappy. Besides that, I use self talk and keep using it, even though it's not necessarily working perfectly.

Hi, thanks for your response....can you clarify self talk?

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Mountaindewed · May 21, 2021, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Mountaindeweed, I'm sorry I've taken so long to tell you this; I keep forgetting. But for the vertigo, don't try tipping your head back. It takes a skilled practioner to assess where the crystals are and then that determines how your head is moved to fix the problem. Physical therapists, some occupational therapists and maybe some chiropractors (???) are trained in this. I was once upon a time but it was so long ago I can't give more information than this.

Thanks. my mom had vertigo that landed her in the hospital for 5 days back in 2015. She had to get a physical therapist to help align the crystals. She was trying to help but I guess she didn’t know you needed to be trained in that. When she had me do it i immediately sat up again and almost puked everywhere.

My mom thinks she knows more then she really does.

The fans in my new house are just really getting to me for some reason. The shot is making it even worse. I hallucinated my blanket was moving the other day and my mom said it was just the fan making shadows. I have my small table one that doesn’t spin.

*Beth* · May 21, 2021, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Hi, thanks for your response....can you clarify self talk?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Sure. Self talk is just how I "talk" to myself inside of my own mind. For example, instead of feeling angry and saying (inside my mind), "That jerk! He deserves to be put in place! I'll let him know what I really think of him!" - I'll take a good, deep breath, relax my shoulders and body, and tell myself, "Okay. The guy seems like a jerk, but maybe he's having a bad day. I won't take his behavior personally, because I want my day to be a good, productive day. So I'll choose not to engage in an argument with him."

Sometimes psychotic · May 21, 2021, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Sure. Self talk is just how I "talk" to myself inside of my own mind. For example, instead of feeling angry and saying (inside my mind), "That jerk! He deserves to be put in place! I'll let him know what I really think of him!" - I'll take a good, deep breath, relax my shoulders and body, and tell myself, "Okay. The guy seems like a jerk, but maybe he's having a bad day. I won't take his behavior personally, because I want my day to be a good, productive day. So I'll choose not to engage in an argument with him."

Ok cool I do that for sure too....especially in the car.

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*Beth* · May 21, 2021, 03:31 PM

My kitty London is okay!!! His blood work and everything else came back normal. He's just had a bad reaction to the antibiotic he was given. He's getting some hydration and anti-nausea medication. I am so, so grateful.

Now I can enjoy watching the Giants beat the Dodgers tonight

Victoria'smom · May 21, 2021, 04:13 PM

Possible trigger:

"Ana"'s stupid and she suck... I want a drink and "she's" being all stupid about it because there's no clear cut calories for it. Stupid voice in my head. Why'd "she" show up after the pdoc visit? Now I have to ignore "her" *** for three months. I'm telling T but water is the only safe thing and I can't physically get the water.
I'm trying to reason with "her" telling "her" weight loss isn't the best thing as Dr's don't know what's going on with me. I've been arguing all day with "her". Stupid voice in my head. "She's" saying if I had listened to her instead of muting "her" with pills I'd be okay right now and not in this mess. "she" lies I'd be dead. I know she's just in my head. I know how it sounds. I know that "she" is me.

Nammu · May 21, 2021, 04:38 PM

I get to go to my granddaughter’s dance recital!!! They opened it up so that three people can go and my daughter invited me! Oh how exciting. My first outing that is to someplace other than the grocery store! 😆

Mountaindewed · 07:02 PM

I only took 2 of my 3 Xanax today. I always take 3. Today they have been making the vertigo worse. I guess that’s one way to wean off them. I just took some more Tylenol. My night Geodon isn’t making anything better and my vision has gotten blurry. I wish I knew the health system here and where to go and where not to go.

Even if everything was easily explainable my old hospital never said or made it seem like I was wasting their time.

Edit: I’m really contemplating going to the ER but also wondering if I can sleep it off again. I just feel so sick to my stomach and my head and vision feel wonky.

Sunflower123 · May 21, 2021, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I get to go to my granddaughter’s dance recital!!! They opened it up so that three people can go and my daughter invited me! Oh how exciting. My first outing that is to someplace other than the grocery store! 😆

So happy for you! That’s great news!

buddha1too · May 21, 2021, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

My kitty London is okay!!! His blood work and everything else came back normal. He's just had a bad reaction to the antibiotic he was given. He's getting some hydration and anti-nausea medication. I am so, so grateful.

Now I can enjoy watching the Giants beat the Dodgers tonight

@BethRags...Yay, London! And GO GIANTS! I absolutely HATE the Dodgers! Best team money can buy. For those of you who don't know, the Giants-Dodgers rivalry is fierce. Fans have been killed at games in the past.

Sunflower123 · May 21, 2021, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too

@BethRags...Yay, London! And GO GIANTS! I absolutely HATE the Dodgers! Best team money can buy. For those of you who don't know, the Giants-Dodgers rivalry is fierce. Fans have been killed at games in the past.

Yay London! Are you serious about fans being killed? That’s one heck of a rivalry.

*Beth* · May 21, 2021, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I only took 2 of my 3 Xanax today. I always take 3. Today they have been making the vertigo worse. I guess that’s one way to wean off them. I just took some more Tylenol. My night Geodon isn’t making anything better and my vision has gotten blurry. I wish I knew the health system here and where to go and where not to go.

Even if everything was easily explainable my old hospital never said or made it seem like I was wasting their time.

Edit: I’m really contemplating going to the ER but also wondering if I can sleep it off again. I just feel so sick to my stomach and my head and vision feel wonky.

If you're up for it, go to the ER. I do believe they can give you a med for vertigo. I'll tell you Md, I wish I would have seen my doctor about the vertigo/nausea I was experiencing. It was a couple of weeks of misery.

*Beth* · May 21, 2021, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too

@BethRags...Yay, London! And GO GIANTS! I absolutely HATE the Dodgers! Best team money can buy. For those of you who don't know, the Giants-Dodgers rivalry is fierce. Fans have been killed at games in the past.

Thanks, buddha!

~Christina · May 21, 2021, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm here. I'm just quiet. I don't know how my appointments will go on Thursday. We're going fully vegetarian when our meat runs out. I hate this, I'm going to bed hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I hope that your appointments go well.

How are you going to replace protein since your going vegetarian?

~Christina · May 21, 2021, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

My appointment went fine, he was more flustered by my hearing impairments than mental illness. I told him I’m very stable on my meds and my lifestyle routine. And he was fine with that. He was very happy with my new exercise program. Encouraged me to keep it up. Referred me to acupuncture. Did say my mouth looked good to keep up the apple cider, salt water gargle and did a swab to test for fungus. He’s ok. I miss my old doc though cause he had a deaf son and that made it easier.

He was awkward with the interpreter. I don’t think he ever had an interpreter for any language before.

Glad things went pretty well

Im hoping your sleep starts being nice

~Christina · May 21, 2021, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Yesterday was easy and flowing. I went to the dentist then stopped at this cafe I parked in front of that I’d been wanting to try. I don’t do things like that! If it’s not on the list….I had the best omelette and coffee. The day continued on and ended with me seeing a movie. I even got free popcorn and coke for my birthday gift.

Today is the total opposite. Stressful and difficult. I’m working on changing my mindset to something that will help me thrive.

I got some audiobooks from Chirp today. A bright spot since I am losing my ability to read books with the legal blindness. I fear for my senior years. I already can’t drive at dusk and beyond. Scary stuff.

Hugs to all!

I'm glad you had one great day and treated yourself ! total suckage that the next day was bad, I'm sorry

My husband and I try to do everything we need to in daylight and get home before dark, we both has trouble seeing at night in the last few years.

Stay safe and I hope things improve quickly and it be a daily basis

We love audio books on our trips to Florida makes the time go faster

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Bipolar check-in #56

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