[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by BethRags

A low dose AP can help with anxiety, especially if it's bipolar disorder anxiety, which tends to be vicious.

I take 20 mg Saphris. It’s an AP. My pdoc also upped my Lamictal. My anxiety is out of control. I’m going to talk about it (again) with my therapist today at 2:00. Something has to change.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m kinda panicking about a lot of stuff. I took my 160 mil of Geodon super early. So now I’m probably messed up for tomorrow as well since I can’t take any more tonight. But hopefully I get super trippy and out of it so I don’t have to feel my anxiety or anything else for the rest of the day. It’s unusual for me to get this panicky and anxious this time of day. Usually I don’t do anything unhealthy until later in the evening.

I’m not tired from the meds. Not spiraling anymore but not 100% ok either. I have my beats on so I can’t hear if the phone rings at all. My mom gets the calls on her phone.

I’m listening to the song Unwell by Matchbox Twenty.

I have a couple more hours for my call to come in. And then if it doesn’t I’ll have to do this all over again tomorrow. But my Geodon got called in finally.

I don’t know. I just feel unusually weird today but I’ve been up for a long time and my meds were so messed up today. Maybe I’ll try a hot bath with some vicks vapor bath salts.

I took the bath. Then I ate a burrito and took 4 zzquil pure zzz gummies. Not sure if 4 was too much or not. But I just want this day to be over with so I can start the same **** all over again in the morning.

I just checked the time and it was 20:22. hmm

I seriously need to stop with this whole cat sat on the mat ****

people don't like it.. but it's so cute. I think so anyway

stomach ache again because food didn't agree with me.

I seriously can't go on like this..

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I’m all signed up for my classes at the Y. I hope I can go though with it and not back out. You need to sign up every week as they have limited number of people they take. Between being so out of shape and overweight and not being able to use my hearing aids which makes me completely deaf I’m afraid I’ll back out. My first class is tonight at 6:30. Warm water fitness. Sounds like a perfect intro. Tomorrow it’s aqua Zumba then three days of aqua fitness. Plus I need to use the track to walk longer and longer. Pretty sure the water classes will all be easy on my back. It’s just the awkwardness of being around people plus not hearing them.

I’m so pleased for you that you’re doing this. I got a scholarship form to fill out months ago and haven’t followed through with it. You are inspiring me to get with it.

[Sunflower123]

Life is getting better and better with my new therapist and a better understanding of what’s going on. SI has disappeared.

I took mom to another town for a doctor’s appointment and ran all my errands today. Getting those checked off felt good. I’m tired and have a headache and backache now but still need to cook dinner and pick up. Maybe after the Bayer kicks in.

I had a good time with my daughter Sunday. The movie and visit were great. We had to detour due to somebody’s fatal accident on the road. Tragic.

I hope everyone has a good Wednesday. I’m taking my brother to get his truck fixed and to a pain management appointment then hitting the pool for the day. The forecast is high 90’s.

[Lizzie1813]

I’m hurting so much tonight. I can’t breathe. I can’t keep the tears away. Sometimes I think this pain will kill me. Missing my son so much and feeling so hopeless.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Seroquel for example? (that was prescribed to me, later I became allergic to it though)

I think Seroquel is used for anxiety. It didn't do anything for mine. I'm thinking of a low dose of one of the older AP's.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

I take 20 mg Saphris. It’s an AP. My pdoc also upped my Lamictal. My anxiety is out of control. I’m going to talk about it (again) with my therapist today at 2:00. Something has to change.

I have not had any relief from anxiety with the second generation AP's. The older AP's seem to work against anxiety much more effectively. I take Trilafon (perphenazine); it's the first med that has really helped with extreme anxiety.

[Lizzie1813]

My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.

I hope the Buspar is the answer for you. I know the kind of pain you're in. It's a cannot run, cannot hide kind of pain. I'm so sorry, Lizzie.

[Nammu]

Wooo the aqua Zumba class was excellent. There were 6 others there and except for one they were all my age and all were overweight so I fit in just fine. I thought maybe I might heat a beat if the music was loud enough but it wasn’t but I did just as well as the others in class so definitely making this a weekly thing. Not sure yet if I can go to tomorrow’s aqua fitness class because my sister hasn’t called me back yet. I offered to take mum to the doctor instead of going to the fitness class because it’s going to be storming and she’s gotta drive 50 miles. I know I hate driving the interstate in storms so I offered. There’s still two other classes Thursday and Friday and I’ve already moved more this week than I usually do in a month, so missing one class is no biggy. I did the oversized T-shirt thing and went home to change.

Jennifer I’m definitely glad I did this. You can too, it’s worth it.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.

I took this yearsss ago and it did nothing for me... My daughter tried it and with in a week it made a huge difference..

Every med works differently for everyone.. Try and hang in there.. Stop punishing yourself. Take another day to float

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

...
I had SO much trouble waking up this morning! I have no idea why! I actually only took half my normal seroquel amount. I fell asleep to a sleep story on the calm app. I had to get up to take my son to his physical and I just kept turning off my alarm. I finally forced myself out of bed believing that it very well could be 10am already. I don’t know if it was because I was dreaming but it was just so difficult. I am so concerned I will not be able to wake up in time for work in September. A week before work starts I am going to start getting up with RS at 6:30 so I get used to it.

Seroquel at lower doses will cause sleepiness.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I took this yearsss ago and it did nothing for me... My daughter tried it and with in a week it made a huge difference..

Every med works differently for everyone.. Try and hang in there.. Stop punishing yourself. Take another day to float

My situation is the same. Buspar didn't do anything for me. My daughter has been taking it for years because it helps with her anxiety.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

I’m hurting so much tonight. I can’t breathe. I can’t keep the tears away. Sometimes I think this pain will kill me. Missing my son so much and feeling so hopeless.

Nope, it won't kill you. Your grief is immense, but refuse to let it kill you. Remember that you had a life before your son existed.

[Soupe du jour]

Feeling mildly tired with a very mild malaise, so far today. I don't know if it's related to my second covid shot or not. If so, it's not a big deal, at all. I'd take much much worse!

Hubby and I have reservations for an English language tour of an historic building downtown, in an hour. I hope it's relatively short. At least it's in a lovely park I mentioned a couple weeks back.

My fruit tart is evil delicious! Better than any other I've tasted, including previous homemade ones. I think the crust is yummier. Plus local berries make store-bought seem mediocre. And it's my favorite filling (a homemade custard).

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

My pdoc prescribed buspirone today for my anxiety. I can’t pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. I read that it can take 3 to 4 weeks for it to start working. She won’t prescribe benzos. I hope this makes a difference. My anxiety is overwhelming.

I took buspar and it caused me to eat 800 calories for every meal and 800 calories for every snack. Once I got off it I started losing loads of weight.

I have never met anyone who has had this side effect. A lot of people lose weight on it. My Pdoc was very confused but once I started losing weight when I got off it he believed me. Although I think he was still pretty confused since this side effect is pretty much unheard of.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I hope the Buspar is the answer for you. I know the kind of pain you're in. It's a cannot run, cannot hide kind of pain. I'm so sorry, Lizzie.

Thank you, Beth, for your compassion and understanding. You’re right. The pain and grief are inescapable. I hope things get better between you and your daughter. Thank you again. You are a good friend. ❤️

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Feeling mildly tired with a very mild malaise, so far today. I don't know if it's related to my second covid shot or not. If so, it's not a big deal, at all. I'd take much much worse!

Hubby and I have reservations for an English language tour of an historic building downtown, in an hour. I hope it's relatively short. At least it's in a lovely park I mentioned a couple weeks back.

My fruit tart is evil delicious! Better than any other I've tasted, including previous homemade ones. I think the crust is yummier. Plus local berries make store-bought seem mediocre. And it's my favorite filling (a homemade custard).

The tart looks wonderful! Have fun on your tour. I hope you’ll tell us all about it.

[Nammu]

Got ahold of my sister this morning. She’s on her way. So I’m going to aqua class. But I’m not feeling it, I’m just not a morning person. Blah 😒

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Nope, it won't kill you. Your grief is immense, but refuse to let it kill you. Remember that you had a life before your son existed.

I agree here. When my first husband died I didn’t think I would ever be able to function again. But with your son, @Lizzie1813 I think you need to grieve in the same way. Hopefully he will come back to you. But in the meantime, let yourself feel the pain and grieve. The only way out of emotional pain is through, honestly. And like Beth said, it feels like it will kill you but it will not.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I agree here. When my first husband died I didn’t think I would ever be able to function again. But with your son, @Lizzie1813 I think you need to grieve in the same way. Hopefully he will come back to you. But in the meantime, let yourself feel the pain and grieve. The only way out of emotional pain is through, honestly. And like Beth said, it feels like it will kill you but it will not.

Thank you for sharing that you’ve been through grief like this, too. Feeling the pain and grief is unbearable sometimes, but I believe you when you say I have to move through it. I hope you’re right that it won’t kill me.

[Mountaindewed]

I still haven’t heard back from my doctor. I could just be expecting things too early. I haven’t received a shipping email either from EBay. So far I’ve taken one Valium. I’ve gone about 24 hours without any Geodon but I’m trying to make it to tonight when I should be taking it. I may take the 20 earlier though. I slept good last night. I did wake up around 1:40 and I thought I’d be up for good. I placed an online order for pickup Saturday afternoon then I kind of just forced myself to go back to sleep. I was only up for maybe 20 minutes. Today I’m just hanging out and on again. I am still cutting back on going out. My therapist thinks I’m a bit paranoid. I should be good unless I’m asymptomatic from my massless lake trip since it was about 2 weeks ago.

I’ve been very organized lately. Not sure if it’s a mania or an OCD thing or if I just like to be a neat freak. I even eat cereal and ramen out of bowls that say literally say “cereal” and “ramen” on them.

I’m not concerned about any of this OCD or mania stuff. I really am just focusing on getting some news from my doctor. I read a brochure my doctor gave me about hysterectomies. It wasn’t anything exciting just about the type of surgery he is doing and how it will be done.