Bipolar check-in #59

I'm in a waiting mode for a big change in the future. I bought up to Hubby something my father often said, which was "Let's get the show on the road!" Speaking of my father, I so miss some of his old stories, sayings, and witticisms. He seems to have left that part of his personality behind, in recent years. At least I occasionally say them, myself. I also find myself uttering my mom's stuff, and even things some of my grandparents (including great grandparents) would say. It's a lovely way to keep pleasant memories alive. It's sort of a shame that they won't get passed on to a next generation.

Yesterday I attempted to make chocolate chip cookies using a Czech recipe and Czech flours. They failed so badly that I threw most all away. They weren't good enough for the calories they represented. Then this morning I attempted to make a peach cake, since we bought a whole flat of the buggers. Every one was bad. Just as well. As a rebellion, I made myself a breakfast sausage, egg, and cheese scramble. High cholesterol city!

Hubby is napping despite it being 11:52 am. He just got back from his regular eye injection. After those, he usually sleeps for most of two days.

no sleep, no plans, going to be quite a dull day..

I just signed up for a new live journal

going to give journalling another go..

I’m not even sitting up watching TV. Today I am lying down in constipation and surgery pain. My doctor called back. Said to just keep continuing with the mirolax. The nurse also said I could try a suppository. I mean I know “how” they work but I don’t know how “fast” they work. She told me to stop taking the narco as soon as possible since that can ad to the constipation. I’m gonna try another coffee. But yeah today is tough pain wise. I also feel a bit down but I’ve been out of my Geodon 20’s for a few days. So I wonder if that is it. I called my Pdoc but I haven’t gotten a call yet I hope things aren’t catching up to me and he’s figuring out I wasn’t taking it correctly.

Edit: The suppository didn’t really work. It hurt though. So I took another colace. I am more alert then I was earlier. I’m still in bed but I’ve been moving around. My mom went and got me an iced decaf americano with Splenda from Starbucks. I do not get the point of decaf coffee unless you are using it for the reason I am. I mean it’s like alcohol free wine. What’s the point?

My mom found the new black cherry Pepsi. So now I found both of them. I found the cream soda yesterday.

I can’t tell if I’m depressed just about general stuff today, or if it’s the whole post op stuff starting. The weather has been very warm so I’m not feeling my SAD. But today I just feel a bit worn out mental health wise.

Edit again: I took a shower for the first time in 2 days. And I put on clean pajama pants and a clean t shirt. Showering didn’t wear me out or cause any pain. I had taken a Tylenol 45 minutes before. I am back in bed now. So maybe it wore me out a little bit. But I still don’t think I’ll need 6 weeks or even 2 weeks to recover. After just a few days I can move around pretty easily and I’m not sleeping all day.

My depression is still sucky. Who knows why.

I could have just been high on pain meds but I swear I saw a holiday commercial yesterday. Oh yeah let’s just throw Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas in one big pile like we’ve been doing these past couple years.

Reading this makes me so happy for you

Oh last night was a bad night. Had one of my upset stomach nights, laying down was out of the question. Finally after getting rid of the days food I could lie down. Just to be sure I would sleep after losing all my night meds I took two sleeping pills and I did sleep. So we’ll that all I remember is that the dream was something about sculpting. Ugh I’ve been doing so well in the stomach area I’d forgotten what it’s like. 🤒

No sleep last night, My brain simply refused to slow down. I am worried that I am already going back to insomnia hell.. I hope not I'm still trying to get back on my feet. I did force myself to stay in bed for almost 5 hours. My Chronic pain is pretty bad.

Its always something hu?

Quick question???? I went out Sunday to do some grocery shopping and AGAIN the grocery store was out of Chicken breasts and a few other things.. Anyone else having trouble finding staple foods in stock?? I'm a bit stressed over it.

Well the medications have done what I expected to my blood sugar. A salad for dinner last night that normal gives me a 110-130 ( which is great) it was 187 .. Damn !! I already have an appointment on the 12th. I know that my GlipiZide is going to have to be increased, I am not happy about it but I cant just stop the psych meds.

Hugs and Love to anyone in need

Awww Nammu I hope its a one time thing and you get back to feeling good and sleeping right

Oh Christina! Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m so sorry you have to increase your diabetes meds. But yeah you need the other meds.

I walked to CVS and picked up my new prescription for Xulane birth control patches. My insurance completely covers it thankfully so there was no copay. I'm hoping it helps regulate my period and help with my severe PMS. I was on it several years ago and I think it helped back then.

So the famotidine is actually helping my GERD a lot!! I'm so happy, it's been so bad the past few months I'm so glad I finally got on a med to help it.

Meal prepped some healthy food to have around to eat for the next several days, hard boiled eggs, salad, cut up celery with hummus.

I hope everyone is doing okay, and @Nammu I hope your stomach feels better

I'm sure this is partly constipation but a swelling belly is normal after hysterectomy. The support site I was on after mine called it "swelly belly". It tends to increase when you move around and then will decrease when you rest. It will come and go for a while. It also can happen if you are in a position that irritates your abdomen for too long and probably other reasons I forget.

Thank you for your reply. I got my shirt on fine after taking a shower. It’s a boys XL and it still fits but it was a bit tight. But I’m still wearing oversize pajama pants and sweatpants. I can hardly wait until I can wear jeans. I hope I still fit into mine. I hope my stomach does go down because I’ve always had a very flat small stomach and I’ve been complimented before on my “tiny” waist.

I was listening to some podcast and I got super tired. I’ve only taken one pain med and it was at 4AM. I’ve done well with just Tylenol since 11. But I just got exhausted for some reason so I fell asleep for I don’t even know how long. Over an hour I think. I know I was having a dream about sour grapes and hot dogs and chipotles or something weird like that. Oh yeah and the Rugrats were in my dream. That was the main part of my dream. But it was a very involved dream for a daytime nap. Now I want a hot dog

I didn’t have any caffeine today but I’m going to have a cherry Vanilla Coke Zero in a bit and hope it doesn’t cause any issues

I suggest people look into Lush sleep lotion. I used it last night and it works well.

Despite headache today and need for a nap, I actually have done some stuff. I mentioned a few weeks ago when hypomanic I tend to buy a bunch of useless stuff that collects right? Academically speaking, I have a lot of courses on Udemy, I have a $500 software bundle in other academia as well -- but I decided to just sit down and play around a bit with web development (the majority of my courses on Udemy are that way.) This is a very thoughtful course and the person is STILL redefining it, remaking videos etc. for today (I bought it like 3 years ago). I remember a lot of the practice, and right now I'm doing the simplistic stuff, but it feels good to be focused and doing something different today.

Hope everyone is having a good day! @Blue_Bird I'm so glad to hear your GERD med is working! Trust me, I know how awful it is to have flare-ups of gastric reflux!!

N3 and I went out for lunch today and then went to the botanical gardens. We went inside the green house and then outside on the trails. Was very nice and good weather for a walk- 67 and cloudy. He was telling me how it was to drive his car today with his grandfather.

I feel like I need a nap. Just got the balcony door open with the fan blowing cool air into the apartment. I wish I could just lay here on the couch and snooze.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed My doctor never called back. I took a couple colace. I drank a venti hot coffee from Starbucks. Everyone suggests I drink coffee. I just now took some mirolax. I ate a pint of Halo Top strawberry ice cream. It was 270 calories for the whole pint but that much ice cream in general probably isn’t a very good idea. But anyways my stomach hurts right now but it feels more like I just ate too much ice cream instead of surgical pain. My mom went to the store and got some more food. She got me some more canned potato’s and bottles of Body Armor water. She also found one of the new soda shop Pepsi’s. She found the cream soda one and got me 2 bottles. I’ve been in bed all day again watching TV. I still can’t really get out of bed. Mental health wise I don’t feel too bad. But if I could just use the bathroom I think I’d be feeling a lot better in general. I do seem to be more tired today. I am not watching TV sitting up on my pillow with the arms I have been lying straight on my back watching TV most of the day. I think I dozed off for about 10 minutes before noon but I didn’t take an actual nap today. My sleep lotion from Lush came today. I hope it works. I know that stuff has helped in the past before. I just stood up for 10 minutes and I walked around the house for a bit. Man did that make a difference in my pain! But now an hour later I am tired again. But these walks around the house are helpful. Although the mirolax didn’t work and my mom said if you don’t go you could get impacted and they’d have to operate. But I’ve been trying everything I can think of since Friday and nothing has been helping. But I only took 2 pain pills today and I’m not like I was yesterday where I was unable to concentrate because I was so focused on when I could get the next one. I don’t really feel the need to take another one today actually.

It sounds like you're doing great! Keep on keepin' on!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina No sleep last night, My brain simply refused to slow down. I am worried that I am already going back to insomnia hell.. I hope not I'm still trying to get back on my feet. I did force myself to stay in bed for almost 5 hours. My Chronic pain is pretty bad. Its always something hu? Quick question???? I went out Sunday to do some grocery shopping and AGAIN the grocery store was out of Chicken breasts and a few other things.. Anyone else having trouble finding staple foods in stock?? I'm a bit stressed over it. Well the medications have done what I expected to my blood sugar. A salad for dinner last night that normal gives me a 110-130 ( which is great) it was 187 .. Damn !! I already have an appointment on the 12th. I know that my GlipiZide is going to have to be increased, I am not happy about it but I cant just stop the psych meds. Hugs and Love to anyone in need

Hugs and love to you, too. Yes, the shelves of grocery stores around here (even one store that is a gourmet grocery) have big empty spots. There's talk about the lack of chicken available. I hear that the shortages have to do with covid. I'm not sure why, but that's what they're saying

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 N3 and I went out for lunch today and then went to the botanical gardens. We went inside the green house and then outside on the trails. Was very nice and good weather for a walk- 67 and cloudy. He was telling me how it was to drive his car today with his grandfather. I feel like I need a nap. Just got the balcony door open with the fan blowing cool air into the apartment. I wish I could just lay here on the couch and snooze.

You do such fun things! I love botanical gardens.

I don't feel so great. On my walk and at the store and at the vet's I felt super paranoid. This morning the voices were bad enough to warrant a PRN Thorazine. Thankfully my injection is tomorrow. First time getting the max dose of paliperidone palmitate. I told my T that I ate pretty good over the weekend, no restricting or purging or anything, and she acted like her telling me to eat three meals and yogurt has cured me. I should've told her how anxious I was and how I felt obligated to eat properly because my mom was around me pretty much the whole weekend. I can "be good" under that kind of pressure because I hate worrying people I care about and I overheard her tell her sister "I wish she would eat more," so I haven't been doing a good job apparently. My T just frustrates me though. I've been with her like two years and the most she helps is telling me when she thinks my meds aren't working/I should tell my nurse.

Thanks! It was N3s idea to go to the gardens. And I woke up cold with blowing cold air on me so now I'm in PJ bottoms, socks and a sweatshirt. Feeling cozy.

So T wasn't very helpful but I will not be sleeping on the couch tonight cross my fingers. I feel so bad but there's truly not an option around here but hospitalization. No php/iop option which is stupid. There may be an option about an hour away.