Bipolar check-in #59

I'm home. Got a shower last night. A REAL shower! Not 3 drops dripping on my head. I'm still paranoid. For now, everything is okay, but that may change. Gotta keep vigilant. My pdoc's nurse called. I don't feel like I'm tracking with my brain right. I told her this. She just asked me a bunch of questions and said crisis team would be calling me tonight and that if I didn't answer that they would come over! She said she would call me tomorrow, too. Plus I have other appointments coming up.I had pie for breakfast- my mom's home made apple pie and my first cup of coffee since being in the hospital. (Their coffee sucked.) I still don't feel right. Spacey. I took some extra Haldol PRN to help calm the racing thoughts. My pdoc appointment is IN PERSON! That's Friday, I think. I haven't seen her since "before". It will be interesting to see her. i dunno what to say. I feel like I should keep typing. I told my case manager that I'm not tracking very well. I guess I got all I could out of the hospital, though. I was tired of the no-slip socks and the frumpy clothes. Plus there was a "new" guy there who refused to wear a mask. Even in group, he had it under his chin! I guess this is rambling. I guess I should go call N3 now. He's waiting. All for now.

Glad you’re home.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I guess I have a new therapist. I’m not sure about insurance yet but I have an appointment on the 11th. She has a lot of trans clients and also knows about autism and is comfortable with people with eating disorders. I’m taking this all very carefully though since I’ve gotten my hopes up a lot of times with a lot of different things and people.

I'm hoping the very best for you. The new T sounds (hopefully) promising.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I’m so filled with fear and trepidation that I can’t get off the couch. I’ll need to take a Klonopin or two. It’s frustrating because I have some time to get away by myself for a few hours and I’m too scared to leave the house. Yesterday was good. A family friend, my sister and I tackled the house and made great progress. Things look and feel better. The lawn guy came over and the lawn looks nice. I put off my mini getaway to accomplish tasks on the house while I had the help. Today I could go out but I’m too scared. I have two therapy sessions today. Maybe I can work it out there. I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

I hope the Klonopin helped Great job on the house! That must feel terrific

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Originally Posted by Moose72 I'm home. Got a shower last night. A REAL shower! Not 3 drops dripping on my head. I'm still paranoid. For now, everything is okay, but that may change. Gotta keep vigilant. My pdoc's nurse called. I don't feel like I'm tracking with my brain right. I told her this. She just asked me a bunch of questions and said crisis team would be calling me tonight and that if I didn't answer that they would come over! She said she would call me tomorrow, too. Plus I have other appointments coming up.I had pie for breakfast- my mom's home made apple pie and my first cup of coffee since being in the hospital. (Their coffee sucked.) I still don't feel right. Spacey. I took some extra Haldol PRN to help calm the racing thoughts. My pdoc appointment is IN PERSON! That's Friday, I think. I haven't seen her since "before". It will be interesting to see her. i dunno what to say. I feel like I should keep typing. I told my case manager that I'm not tracking very well. I guess I got all I could out of the hospital, though. I was tired of the no-slip socks and the frumpy clothes. Plus there was a "new" guy there who refused to wear a mask. Even in group, he had it under his chin! I guess this is rambling. I guess I should go call N3 now. He's waiting. All for now.

Welcome home!

The Covid test went well. It was self administered and the lady wasn’t hanging over me and yelling at me that I was doing it the wrong way the way a nurse did another time. My mom just counted 15 seconds for each side and the nurse was in the tent the whole time. The swab stick was not very big. During a rapid Covid test one time I had a long swab that felt like it went up to my brain. They said we didn’t have an appointment because they didn’t do appointments. Even though we set one up. So it was kinda weird but since it was done at one of the hospitals drive thru centers it will be in the hospitals system.

I feel like I’m going a bit crazy with this lack of sleep and increase in appetite and just all this waiting around for Friday to come. I listened to a couple podcasts today but I can’t really get involved in anything and I’m low on money so it’s not like I can go out shopping or anything.

I got my stuff put away while my mom was gone and I found a couple things I was looking all over for. But I still didn’t find my Vibes ear plugs.

My energy is very low this afternoon and I am semi depressed. Or maybe I’m just tired since I woke up before 2AM this morning. I just took my 160 mil Geodon so hopefully that will make things better. I took 200 mil total instead of 180 because I took a 20 at 8AM and then one at 11AM but because I’ve been messing with the 20’s for so long I am now very short on days. It will go through insurance but I didn’t have any choice but to take 2 80s because my mom is wondering why I ran out this month.

I’m hoping the phrase “3rd times the charm” will be an appropriate statement for this situation.

I know I had to go through 2 other therapists in a row before I found the therapist I was working with before I moved.

My case manager mentioned therapy. I think I might start that. Just saw my mom. We had quite a long talk and I feel better now. Much improved. I hope I stay that way.

Thanks. As I said below, I am feeling better now. I just opened my balcony door and turned on the fan to blow the wonderful 70-degree air in. It's sunny out too. Went for a walk. Was nice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 Thanks. As I said below, I am feeling better now. I just opened my balcony door and turned on the fan to blow the wonderful 70-degree air in. It's sunny out too. Went for a walk. Was nice.

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Migraine meds have always put me to sleep after they get rid of the migraine. I don't know what it is about them, but I'm grateful for the rest.

My pdoc gave me some ambien because I haven't had a solid night of sleep in so long I can't remember. We're hoping to kickstart the sleep and I'll only take a full 10 mg for a few nights and then taper off (in the past it's only worked for a few days for me anyway).

I'm not taking it until later because in general if I fall asleep too early I wake in the night and don't get back to sleep and I'm reluctant to risk waking like that with ambien in my body. I'm hoping I'll take it and just fall asleep and stay that way.

But I'm scared...this stuff has been useless sometimes in the past. However I've not taken it in 10 years (she looked) and so I shouldn't have any tolerance.

I just hope for a solid night of sleep. If I'm on here being weird in a few hours you'll know why

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow My pdoc gave me some ambien because I haven't had a solid night of sleep in so long I can't remember. We're hoping to kickstart the sleep and I'll only take a full 10 mg for a few nights and then taper off (in the past it's only worked for a few days for me anyway). I'm not taking it until later because in general if I fall asleep too early I wake in the night and don't get back to sleep and I'm reluctant to risk waking like that with ambien in my body. I'm hoping I'll take it and just fall asleep and stay that way. But I'm scared...this stuff has been useless sometimes in the past. However I've not taken it in 10 years (she looked) and so I shouldn't have any tolerance. I just hope for a solid night of sleep. If I'm on here being weird in a few hours you'll know why

I hope you're well into dreamland~

It's so cold in this house!

I went for a short hike this morning. ED voice is telling me to keep being super active. I already did 25 minutes of core and the hour +1/2 long hike. I just want to sleep through the hunger.
Oh! I got a hold of my friend! He was in the hospital for covid and other related issues but he's back at his place under quarantine. He thinks by mid october I'll be able to see him in person.
Haven't been able to get a hold of my girlfriend. She's in the hospital too (for other reasons) but I think she gave me the wrong number to call. I hope she's okay.
Alright. I gotta go for another walk. Just a short one. Then I'm coming home and reading.

It took awhile for me to get there, but I slept OK last night. The vivid dreams are still there. I have to say though, they are affecting me less during my day. So, I'll accept it for now. I'll meet again with my psychiatrist in two weeks. I'll wait till then so I can have something to report -- if it's helping or not. At least I did sleep at a reasonable hour and got up at a reasonable hour as well. Also no passing out, so that was a plus haha.

I had my second session with my new therapist this afternoon. I still like him, but I'll admit that I felt I was talking in circles today. I'm not sure that I got a lot out of it, but again, I think it was my fault more than his. What sort of irked me was that my husband kept calling me on the cell phone towards the end of the session. It interrupted it. I'll admit that the session way a good 15 minutes over, and my husband didn't call under the "over" period. But I still got flustered, making it end on an uncomfortable note.

I'm becoming concerned about my husband's spending. And I hate that he uses his credit card all of the time. It's as if he doesn't even know what cash is. I find it prevents us from sticking to any kind of budget, whatsoever. If it was just me spending, I think it would be fine since I only buy necessities. When I see something that's very expensive I tend more to nix the idea of buying it. Not so for Hubby. In fact, he sort of pressured me into agreeing to a huge expenditure, for myself, that I probably would not have made on my own.

I’m actually doing really well today. I haven’t had any Valium. Although that may come and get me later if I don’t stay ahead of my anxiety. My mom and I went out shopping today. We went all over to many stores. She bought me a lot of stuff. I had told her I’d wait until I got money but she insisted on buying me stuff so I’ll have it for the next 2 days. She got me a bunch of frozen breaded vegetables and some frozen lasagnas and other frozen stuff. Then she got me a few candy bars and some chapstick and those stupid pads I’ll need. I actually slept last night for the first time in forever. I fell asleep around 8:30 and I woke up just before 7. I’m home now for the day. Tomorrow I’m going to Applebee’s for lunch and then I have to wash my blankets and take a shower at night with this special kind of pre surgery soap.

I’m not currently nervous about the surgery itself although I’m worried my UTI is still there. But I’m wondering if it’s somatic. Does anyone know if bladder stuff can be somatic related? I’ve been on antibiotics for awhile and this comes and goes. It’s not consistent and it seemed to come on as soon as I got approved for my surgery. I’m also wondering if I’m just wearing the wrong size underwear to be honest.

Also my Covid test came back negative. They sure can do things fast now. I got the results in about 15 hours.

I’ll probably need to stop eating around midnight Friday . So I’m going to wake up at 9 or 10 and just eat a ton of stuff. I’ve made the mistake before of not eating after 4PM and being very hungry all day.

@Mountaindewed, it is possible that underwear could be a factor in UTIs. I wouldn't wear too tight of underwear. Also, always go for cotton ones, or at least ones that have a cotton crotch. Also, not too tight of pants. It's also possible the UTI could be partly stress-induced. Stress brings on all kinds of things.

Though perhaps a little bit of an old-fashioned home remedy, in addition to prescribed treatment, having a UTI is a good excuse to enjoy some cranberry juice cocktail. Cranberry juice is known to be helpful at curbing them. And tastes good.

I was drinking cranberry juice like crazy for a couple days until I finally decided to go to the doctor on Sunday. I asked her about it and she said the study results are mixed but it doesn’t hurt. I like the cran raspberry flavor.

Kinda tmi but I took off my underwear and I am fine now.

I’ve been wearing my moms giant pajama pants the last couple of nights and then baggy shorts during the day. I’ve been avoiding jeans.

I’m also wondering if you could just be like super tense down there without any actual issue going on. I’ve been sitting on my bed with my legs crossed for hours at a time.

How funny you mention cranberry and raspberry combo. I don't have cranberry juice in my house, but am at this moment enjoying cranberry raspberry flavored herbal tea. Glad you're getting a little relief.

I just read that caffeine and alcohol can also worsen UTIs. I don't think you're a big alcohol drinker, but the caffeine could be a factor.

Hello all. I am sitting with my friend who is in OT school while she studies. We are at Starbucks. I had to grab a sweatshirt from my car because it's cold in here even though it's gorgeous and warm outside. Sunny and beautiful.

I took some PRN Haldol and am feeling pretty chill. I'm reading a book while she studies. We are going to have dinner later, too.

The paranoia is at bay for now. Don't know how long this will last. I still have another dose of Haldol that I can take later.

The Ambien really worked. I slept all night and through the morning and am still tired. I hope I don't feel this groggy the whole time I take it. It's so good to have had a full night of sleep, I'm just having a hard time doing anything. I did take the trash out. I need to take a shower. Supper is going to be something really easy.

I'm glad I asked to try this. I hope it really resets my body clock.

How do people get heavy sleep meds prescribed? I’ve had sleep problems since I was 14. Ranging from everything from sleep paralysis to full blown falling down a flight of stairs night terrors and the only thing I’ve been offered by doctors is melatonin and Benadryl. I was on trazodone for a bit too when I was 14.

Where's whatever (Jane)?

And fuzzybear

I swear I’ve played a role in a lot of members leaving with my bad temper and triggering posts.

Not good.