Bipolar check-in #59

Paranoia is no fun! I just went through/am going through that. I hope you can sleep soon.

I’m doing well. My pain sucks but I’m still trying to stick with just the Tylenol and the heating pad. My mom says she’s noticing a difference in my moods. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out. My mental health problems have always revolved around my PMS and my period and my hormones since I was 13. Now that everything is gone with the full hysterectomy I wonder how my mental health will really be.

I took a shower. Probably not the best idea since I had just taken one yesterday. and I don’t want to push myself too much. My stomach doesn’t look too big. I’m wearing my moms black stretch yoga pants and they actually make me look kinda good. Although I can hardly wait until I can wear my bootcut jeans again.

My room smells weird but my room is right next to the room that has the cat box. But I took the sheet off my bed and my mom is washing my 2 blankets.

I am very lucky to have such a big supportive family and an insurance company who pays for these things. Basically my entire transition has been covered by my insurance. Meds. Doctor visits. Surgeries. And my whole family is great. It’s not very common to have both and a lot of people don’t have either.

Thank you! I hope so, I’ll have to take my Thorazine tonight. I keep stopping it

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ... I know it’s not funny but my moms friend was telling her one time about how her bladder fell out. And for some reason these last 2 days I’ve been thinking that is the funniest thing. But every time I laugh it hurts so I’m trying not to think about it.

Creepy, but it can happen. My sister had her bladder really close to falling out (it's called prolapsed bladder).

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I haven’t slept in 30 hours and now I’m paranoid my apartment complex is trying to kick me out. I have no proof of this it’s just a feeling I have for no particular reason, I’m convinced. I feel on the verge of crying Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm so sorry you're going through that. It happens to me, too. I become 100% sure that I will be kicked out, and I have no money to move. I hate when I get stuck on that thought.

Actually, I'm doing a little better today. Maybe the extra Wellbutrin kicked in - oh, and I am taking the Klonopin as prescribed, rather than reducing it myself (my pdoc knew I was doing it; she left the decision up to me). I think K-pin is a miracle med. Some time back my now-gone pdoc had encouraged me to try 3mg of K-pin. I declined. Now I wish I would've taken her up on it. The stuff really works.

I think you usually have to have had kids before for it to happen? That’s what my mom told me. Although I texted her last night and she had no idea what I was talking about. This is gross but I’ve heard you can get rectal prolapse too. Which is really bad if it happens.

My stomach is bothering me. Both internally and externally. My mom says the incision looks ok. I think the Tylenol is making me nauseated. I took an extra Valium. It was my first extra one in over a week. I feel kinda depressed right now. I think I’ll just go to bed. I’m really bored with recovery but I can’t push myself either. Even if I feel like I can make it to the store doesn’t mean I should.

Thanks.....Oh damn. I was hoping it was just my area. Chicken is a huge part of our meals

Hope your store gets stocked back up on stuff soon !

I hope this doesn't last long, Chicken is a huge part of my meals.

Ooooo Fruit ! That is really lacking in my area. What i can find is usually just so expensive I actually get mad over it ! Sunday I bought 3 pears, 4 plums and a bag of tangerines and it was almost 13 bucks ! Crazy ! I'm grateful it is all very tasty but wow the prices.

The only thing around her is Blackberries and for that I am super grateful ! But every years we have to get out and pick quickly has the Deer and stuff will strip bushes in a night. We usually get 5 or so gallons a year. I only have a few Quart freezer bags left.

Im glad you have a variety in stores and on a hike you can get. Bananas? That is nuts !!!

Hahaha ! I gave up owning a pair of " regular jeans" long ago I can only buy stretch ones LOL Oooo a sweater !

Did you find a new pair of Boots??? I have a bit of a problem buying boots Its been 5-6 years but I have ALOT. Its the one thing I have alot of but I am OK with it. LOL

The thing I go for is earrings. I only have two pairs of boots both are snow boots. I love earrings. I just bought 4 pair and I have three more pairs on my in box! Ha ha I don’t even go anywhere but I’ve got bohemian earrings for every occasion. My hats are all boxed up and I can’t really wear them anymore because it’s too hot. But I did buy an embroidered cap that looks very 1920’s. I’ll have to dig my many colored blazer coat out and wear it with that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu The thing I go for is earrings. I only have two pairs of boots both are snow boots. I love earrings. I just bought 4 pair and I have three more pairs on my in box! Ha ha I don’t even go anywhere but I’ve got bohemian earrings for every occasion. My hats are all boxed up and I can’t really wear them anymore because it’s too hot. But I did buy an embroidered cap that looks very 1920’s. I’ll have to dig my many colored blazer coat out and wear it with that!

It all sounds glorious!

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour I wrote my senator and congressman today about a matter that would help with voting rights. My husband and I were discussing how in CZ the election day is always held on both a Friday and Saturday. This gives the citizens the chance to vote on at least one day that is not a work day for most all. Whereas, the US always holds major Election Days on Tuesdays, and that day is NOT a national paid holiday, for anyone. I suggested that perhaps they consider either moving Election Day to a Friday and Saturday, or make Election Day a national paid holiday for all Americans. Columbus Day is coming up next week, and while not all Americans get that day off, many do. And in my view, who gives a damn about Columbus Day! He was not even the first person to discover America, and I've read he was an a-hole, anyway. I say ditch that day and make Election Day a paid day off. That, or even President's Day, a day more American corporations give employees paid days off. Or both. I sure wish that other US citizens would suggest the same thing, but of course at least one political party would likely not like the idea. An article at Why Columbus Day Courts Controversy - HISTORY gives reasons why Christopher Columbus may not merit a "national holiday". As for President's Day, there are also plenty of them that many people would rather not honor. As a reminder, next Monday is Columbus Day, so all banks and some other businesses will be closed.

The medical and mental health clinic I go to is to serve the large Native population around here. I'm not Native American, but I really like the clinic. They don't celebrate or close for Columbus Day. They do celebrate indigenous people day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I think you usually have to have had kids before for it to happen? That’s what my mom told me. Although I texted her last night and she had no idea what I was talking about. This is gross but I’ve heard you can get rectal prolapse too. Which is really bad if it happens.

Yes- my sister had 5 babies.

I get so worn out from the mood roller coaster. Every day, no matter what I'm doing. I'll feel stable and even calm and "doing well." Next thing, I find myself plunging into depression and anxiety. I would give a lot for a full day of stability. Do others of you experience the hour-to-hour mood swings?

I lost 10 pounds since my surgery. I guess that's to be expected because I'm getting less fat in my diet.

I spoke with the surgeon and he said it could be several months before my system gets used to not having a gallbladder. He says after that, things will be closer to normal and that I'll be able to have things like fries, chips, and other fatty things.

My anxiety is getting ridiculous, that's the best word I have for it. It starts as soon as I wake up and continues throughout the day right up to an hour before I go to sleep. I get 1 hour without anxiety a day. Ugh!

My depression is doing its thing too. It's making everything grey and my thoughts are very negative.

Still waiting for my ketamine appointment.

@Scooter9 ,
Have you discussed this with your pdoc or T
This sounds so awful!
They need to know how badly you are feeling.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Yes, but I'm told by my T the hour-to-hour mood swings are more from other disorders (ADHD in my case) whereas if I'm up or down for weeks to months that's bipolar. Not sure how true it is considering I still haven't had someone qualified to evaluate me say I have anything other than sza.

I feel like I can make it to the store today. At least I felt like it at 3:30. I know they say not to rush your recovery and that rushing it may set yourself back and also shopping can knock you out. But I feel like I can try. My stomach hurt really bad last night and I was passing a lot of painful gas. So I took one of the stronger pain meds. I also took a couple Benadryl’s and an extra Valium since my anxiety was tough. I slept until 1:30 and then I took a Tylenol and another Benadryl and I fell back asleep at 4 until my usual time.

But I’ll see how I feel. Right now my stomach is kind of off and I don’t exactly feel like going out.

Last night I ordered a lot of stuff from this place called Desert Drinks. They sell exotic candy and soda. I got a red berry Milky Way and a pink lemonade Hershey bar and also a lot of exotic flavors of Kit Kat’s like sparkling wine and exotic flavors of Oreos like ume plum. I had a 20% coupon. But with $12 shipping it was still $56. But I saved over $8.

I think I’ll be ok with going out to a couple stores for half an hour or so. They tell you not to drive for 5 days so if you can drive after 5 days then I’m sure going to the store after 6 days won’t be a big deal. My mom said to just try it and that it will be good for me. I put on cargo shorts that buttoned ok. And I put on my Vans without any problems.

Edit: I made it out of my house. I went to a couple stores and I got the little plastic bin I need for my candy and I got a bigger container for my ramen. I have to put this stuff in clear plastic containers because I keep my food in the garage and we have mice. Well the candy is in the cupboard in the house but it was all over the place so I got little bins for it. But man did that half hour trip wear me out! I’m in bed under my blanket and I may take a nap. I’m not in pain just kinda winded. I stopped at Taco Bell for a bean burrito and cheesy potato’s.

I feel like I’m always house bound. We did go out Saturday to buy my brother some clothes. We stopped by Sonic for Raspberry tea and mozzarella sticks before we shopped. We bought him 7 pairs of lounge pants for $4 each and 4 shirts for $2.50 each. He now has a stack of clothes he can change into. I got a soft, soft gray blanket, fleece lounge pants with a motif that could be Christmas or year round, a new bathing suit cover up, 4 pair of ear-rings, socks and a pretty blue, black and white bedazzled geometric print top. It’s fancy enough to wear anywhere but I’ll wear it day to day. We stopped by O’Charleys for take out after that. I got honey drizzled southern fried chicken, steamed broccoli and sweet potatoes. It was good to be out doing something normal. Man was it good.

Mom’s surgery went well yesterday. The recovery took longer so we were there 5.5 hours for a 1 hour surgery. She’s feeling pretty rough right now. She’ll have a long road back. She really messed that wrist up.

Still firming up plans for vacation. I’m open to anything but caregiving.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

bless you jenn
((((HUGS))))
bizi

In my area we are out of a lot of pantry foods. Rice cakes have been off the shelves for a couple of months. They will get in like 2 bags at a time. They actually have signs now about how they don’t have certain things. Also juice and Gatorade have been low too. I’ve been trying to find the Halloween Kool Aid for awhile but I haven’t seen it. I last went out on Friday morning and the stores seemed pretty stocked. I was able to buy a case of little bottles of Gatorade and then an 8 pack of 20oz bottles. My mom buys the meat but I haven’t noticed anything.

Iced coffee has been hard to find. I’ve had to go to a few stores to find it.

I can’t find everything at one store though like I used to be able to do.

Edit: the freezer section at Walmart is pretty well stocked too. Basically it’s just been pantry stuff for me.

I finally fell asleep last night, after over 36 hours awake. I took my Thorazine and slept for 12 hours. I feel much better, I feel a lot better

The only thing I've had trouble finding the past few months is chicken. I don't eat a lot of meat but when I do it's typically for some kind of recipe that involves boneless skinless chicken breasts. Sometimes it's there and sometimes the options are very limited. Other than that surprisingly I haven't had trouble getting everything else on my lists when I go luckily.