Bipolar check-in #61

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Hello friends! I had a good Christmas. My sister and niece came over on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts. They got to meet Miss Mustachio for the first time. She was super friendly with them. I'm glad she felt comfortable around them enough to come out and play. I'm looking forward to the new year. I have a lot of goals I'm hoping to accomplish. The past few days I've been sleeping nearly around the clock. Idk why. I got Chinese takeout on Christmas day and it was super good. Today my friend came over and I gave him his Christmas gift since I didn't get a chance to see him on Christmas day. He liked it so I'm glad. It was a star wars funko pop bobblehead figure. I'm just enjoying the evening. Reading, drinking some coffee. And miss mustachio is laying next to me. We hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk

Adorable photo

Thank you for all the birthday wishes They mean so much to me.

I was disappointed to not feel a great deal of relief once Christmas passed. Boxing Day and yesterday were still pretty grim. But today i got some faint enjoyment a couple times so i feel some hope that things are looking up.

It concerns me to return to the boards after an absence, only to find so many of my virtual friends having difficulties. Even though I haven't been around much since my partner retired, I will never forget the support you've given me when I found myself in a spot. I don't feel like much of a friend right now, but please know that all of you are in my thoughts. May 2022 be a better year for us all...

Happy belated birthday, @BethRags! I'm sorry I didn't see that until after-the-fact. I hope you enjoyed the macarons. I like them, too. I have never made them as they require a special precision that I don't have.

Great way to start your new semester, @HALLIEBETH87!

My husband used to also tally what our old health insurance in the US would pay. It's beyond ridiculous! I say "US" because the United States is unique in NOT negotiating prices with pharmaceutical companies. Most all other developed countries (most all with universal health coverage, unlike the US) do. In fact, it is currently still illegal for the US government to negotiate prices with pharma companies. This includes for Medicaid and Medicare. That decision is because the government made it so, not necessarily based on the will of the majority in the US (about 80% are unhappy with the high prices). More minority rule and obstruction and the excessive power of lobbyists. Only insurance companies can negotiate, and most all don't. Those that do, such as Express Scripts, actually pocket the savings rather than pass them on sufficiently to consumers. Insurance companies also make huge profits from the money they get from individual corporations who use their services for employees. No tears for the corporations, especially their executives. "Real wages" of employees have barely budged in decades (against purchasing power). Employees pay the price again.

Almost a couple years ago I read that Amazon will be getting into the pharmaceutical industry racket. They will surely offer consumers slightly lower prices in order to take over business from other companies. They will also likely include mail delivery. One may see this as a potential good thing, but really it would represent an even greater increase in the power and wealth of the Amazon corporation (and Jeff Bezos). In the end, the US consumer will still be in a much crappier situation than most all people in other developed nations. Could/will this ever change positively in the US? We'll have to see, but if it does, it will be nothing short of a revolutionary change in the US.

I have discussed the US health insurance industry with many people in Czech Republic. When they learn about it, they shake their heads in awe how scarily unfair it is to the American public. This is a reality. Unfortunately, in the meantime, Americans just continue to lament and lament and accept and accept the current reality.

@Mountaindewed, I think it is great for you that 100% of your recent surgical procedure was covered by your insurance. I've been a bit surprised by that when way way too many people have far less coverage for more life threatening illnesses and many types of hospitalizations for psychological emergencies. I'm not implying that yours shouldn't be 100% (or at least sufficiently) covered, but just sad that others aren't as well.

@buddha1too, I've been quite concerned for others, too. It greatly saddens me that outside of the limited support we can all give each other here, there's clearly insufficient support from some mental healthcare providers. Such providers' support is crucial. I have lost count of members here who can't get medication refills on time, can't get proper medications that help, have resorted to wanting to quit medications and/or therapy, or use them only as "prns". These crucial needs are ones WE HERE can't solve for each other. One has to sometimes fight for their own best interests. And I know that's very difficult when one is feeling unwell and the system is rigged against them. The stressors we have necessitate a "village of support". Frequently people are too alone and comparatively powerless. Sucks but is the reality.

I'm one of the lucky ones in this respect. I had a good mental healthcare team. I now live in a country where my earnings go further, and again have a good mental healthcare team. I have securities now in Czech Republic that I didn't have in the US. But I still have some silent tears. I am American and loved my country, with it's beauties AND its ugly features. I struggle to transition to a new culture and language. I'm lucky I'm a realist, though. I have to do what works best for me, despite sacrifices and losses. These are wide and varied. I continue to strive and learn, and try not to repeat past mistakes.

Happy belated birthday @BethRags !

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Dont get me started. My daughter has severe psorisis. After every hoop we had to jump through and the teasing since 6th grade she was finally referred for a biologic (stelara). 7k a month!!! I found an rx savings program but if that ever stops I do not know what I will do.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour My husband used to also tally what our old health insurance in the US would pay. It's beyond ridiculous! I say "US" because the United States is unique in NOT negotiating prices with pharmaceutical companies. Most all other developed countries (most all with universal health coverage, unlike the US) do. In fact, it is not legal for the US government to negotiate prices with pharma companies. This includes for Medicaid and Medicare. That decision is because the government made it so, not necessarily based on the will of the majority in the US. More minority rule and obstruction and the excessive power of lobbyists. Only insurance companies can negotiate, and most all don't. Those that do, such as Express Scripts, actually pocket the savings rather than pass them on sufficiently to consumers. Insurance companies also make huge profits from the money they get from individual corporations who use their services for employees. Almost a couple years ago I read that Amazon will be getting into the pharmaceutical industry racket. They will surely offer consumers slightly lower prices in order to take over business from other companies. They will also likely include mail delivery. One may see this as a potential good thing, but really it would represent an even greater increase in the power and wealth of the Amazon corporation (and Jeff Bezos). In the end, the US consumer will still be in a much crappier situation than most all people in other developed nations. Could/will this ever change positively in the US? We'll have to see, but if it does, it will be nothing short of a revolutionary change in the US. I have discussed the US health insurance industry with many people in Czech Republic. When they learn about it, they shake their heads in awe how scarily unfair it is to the American public. This is a reality. Unfortunately, in the meantime, Americans just continue to lament and lament and accept and accept the current reality. @Mountaindewed, I think it is great for you that 100% of your recent surgical procedure was covered by your insurance. I've been a bit surprised by that when way way too many people have far less coverage for more life threatening illnesses and many types of hospitalizations for psychological emergencies. I'm not implying that yours shouldn't be 100% (or at least sufficiently) covered, but just sad that others aren't as well.

I've been doing ok. Still mostly stable. Have some rough days here and there. Still trying to work out my anxiety/insomnia issues at night. It's been going on since I quit smoking in March. Have been taking 10mg melatonin, Ambien CR sometimes, a small amount of clonidine, upped my gabapentin. We'll see if it gets any better.

My insurance company screwed me on insurance coverage for my Latuda, and I think my pdoc has been too lazy to do the prior authorization for me, and he said he'd charge me to do it . At any rate, my pdoc has been giving me boxes of samples of Latuda to keep me going, so I'm not going without.

We're really short staffed at work right now. I'm trying to do two jobs and failing. So my stress levels are pretty bad which, I think is why I'm having some bad days sometimes, coupled with not enough sleep. I've decided I'm not working more overtime than I normally work anyway unless I'm going to get paid to do it. So there's a ton of undone work right now which is stressing me out. Then I beat myself when people get mad at me because something is not done. It's going to be like this through Jan/Feb

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I’m a bit more cheerful today. I still didn’t get good sleep but I stayed in bed and concentrated on building a cage. It wasn’t fancy, just a black wire cage( like a inside cave for dogs cage) It kept coming apart but I focused on wielding the parts together. It was restful enough that between the rest and the brilliant sunshine on white snow I feel better today. I don’t feel so much like I want to rip everyone’s head off. so that’s good.

Therapy went decently. It was telehealth this week for some reason. She was kind of in a mood. I didnt take it as being moody towards me. Just moody in general. She didnt want to talk about covid. She said it wasn't important to me. It is though so I asked if it scared her. Because maybe she doesent like to talk about it for her own personal reasons. But she just B'Sed around that question too. We did talk about if me not going back to work is because of an anxiety thing or really is because of how bad covid is. I admitted non covid anxiety things were part of things but I was also waiting to see how things play out next month

So it was a mildly succesful session. I got 4 hours of sleep and my anxiety is through the roof from not having the geodon 20. So my mom called my pdocs office and said we just misplaced a few. Then she explained the 80 mil one that was my pdocs mistake. The guy talked to the on call pdoc and called back right away and was like "ok yeah we just sent a 30 day prescription over to the pharamcy for both of them" Zero questions asked about why or how the 20mil got misplaced. But now I do know to be careful since the misplaced thing will only work once.

I guess I didnt have an appointment set up with him and his next appointment isnt until the middle of March. I do feel stable on the meds and doses I'm currently on so I don't feel a need to really see him so I'm ok waiting that long. He'll just refill the meds I'm already on through the phone. Plus he always says something dumb that makes me regress about my transference T.

But my 20 geodon is ready now. The pharmacy just called. I am so ready to be back on that and get my sleep back on track so other things will follow.

At the end of the session my therapist told me the next time I have a scheudeling email just say I want to cancel/reschedule. Not why. I dont need to go into so much detail. since it sounded like I was in a crisis last night and she knows I have a history of sending those types of emails to other therapists.yeah she was a bit *****y today to be honest but I think everyone has the same holiday and covid burnout/fatigure

I also live in a really trans friendly state. Its not just about my personal insurance. Its also about my states laws and what the laws will cover. I have good insurance but my mental health coverage is not perfect and a lot of my meds cost a good amount of money and I had to get my therapist to talk to her superviosor to get my copays cut in half so I could contiune to keep seeing her every week.

When I signed up for this insurance it was basically like I had to choose between my mental health or my physical health. It worked out well but the mental health side of things is still expensive.

I know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. My daughter showed up yesterday in a foul mood, said she couldn’t travel home that day and she was spending the night. We had a grand time: delicious grilled salmon from a Mediterranean restaurant, a pink drink from Starbucks while sitting in the park admiring the huge Christmas tree and watching All The President’s Men (I had to explain who Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman were). She was even nice enough to drive 5 different places to get me the last of the eggnog that was out there. Her idea. Not mine.

To top that, she got anxious driving home today and asked if I’d stay on the phone with her until she got there. We had a very nice 1.5 hour conversation. I’m meeting her in 3 weeks half way and we’re planning our next getaway to the Smokies. It’s been a nice holiday season.

I don’t feel like I have the flu any longer and my calves have healed. The only concern I have is that I’m so fatigued that I am dozing off a lot and I typically can’t nap. I’ll still meet with the doctor to discuss my test results. Probably tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

I’m so fed up with the not getting good sleep that I looked up my clinic to see if they had indeed hired a new pdoc. They had! They hired two! So I picked the one with the easiest name and called. They will be calling back in the next few days. I expect the actual appointment will probably be weeks if not months out there, but to have an actual pdoc again! Yah hoo!

Today's basically a repeat of yesterday. I feel so gross but it also feels too late for another shower. I can't shower with anyone else home or else I feel like I'm infringing on their right to piss or do laundry or whatever.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour Happy belated birthday, @BethRags! I'm sorry I didn't see that until after-the-fact. I hope you enjoyed the macarons. I like them, too. I have never made them as they require a special precision that I don't have.

Thank you, and I did enjoy the macarons! The bakery was a bit low on stock after the holiday week-end, so I had a pistachio and a chocolate. My son keeps telling me I have to try a passion fruit, but I haven't found one here - yet.

Hey!

Well Steve is negative for Covid and Flu ! Thank God ! He has a highly contagious URI like RSV so we have to wait it out. He’s on oxygen full time as he’s only mid 80’s without it.

Not a surprise I’m sick now too! Just hoping my asthma doesn’t flare bad. Really sucks!

I am over Geodon withdrawals it was rough ! I call tomorrow to schedule my next appt with NP.. it’s so stupid the way they won’t schedule any appts. I do plan to call and find some other provider somewhere. I don’t care if I have to drive towards Nashville. I’m over it.

We have storms coming again.. I’m praying they won’t get severe like the others.

Much love to you all

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Happy Birthday Beth

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I was sort of guessing your state might have been a factor. I'm glad your tdoc helped get your therapy copays reduced.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I’m so fed up with the not getting good sleep that I looked up my clinic to see if they had indeed hired a new pdoc. They had! They hired two! So I picked the one with the easiest name and called. They will be calling back in the next few days. I expect the actual appointment will probably be weeks if not months out there, but to have an actual pdoc again! Yah hoo!

Fantastic!!!

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Originally Posted by ~Christina Hey! ... We have storms coming again.. I’m praying they won’t get severe like the others. Much love to you all Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Fingers and toes crossed that the storms are not severe

Yi yi yi! Man may the new year turn your luck around!

Like I told you earlier, that upper respiratory infection is here in ky too. It took my friend roughly 4-5 days to get over it so hopefully Steve will be on the mend in no time. Its very VERY contagious so I am not shocked you got it but I hope your asthma does not make things worse. THANK GOD the withdrawals are over. whew! Now just time to get the dumb office to give you an appt so you can get help. i wish you best of luck looking for a new pdoc. you deserve better!!