Bipolar check-in #62

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I had that same issue for awhile with my xanax. My doctor would call in all the others except that one and it would be a lot of back and forth. Sometimes for days. For awhile he was calling everything into the wrong pharamacy until my mom had enough when the pharamacist at the wrong one yelled at her that he was tired of dealing with it. Then it got fixed. I'm glad you got yours finally. I tried asking for an extra session this week but she said no. Therapists are weird about what they assume the client needs vs what the client thinks they need. Just trust your gut.

Thank you, Md Yeah, the medication refill/pharmacy thing is so stressful. It's ridiculous, considering that the med is for stress...

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Originally Posted by whatever2013 I feel pretty good! I decided i am content to stay home and while away my days. I'm mindful of the fact that my bipolar is unpredictable tho. If i ever feel differently, i will do differently. There's no use trying to plan. I LOVE MY HOME! I even cancelled my bus pass. All i can do is just enjoy the moment. I have my support group's ZOOM drop-in for an hour three days a week for company. And i've been having a great time here on the forum! There's so many obstacles to going out -- just better to make peace with staying home. Aces!

I had a similar experience early this winter. Just an acceptance of being at home and feeling content with it. So far, it's served me through the winter.

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 ... I know I need to show myself some compassion though. It’s really not my fault that this is happening. I’ve been doing all I can and it’s just not working. It’s not like the past when I would go off meds or refuse to use coping skills. Im using every coping skill at my disposal and they just aren’t working....

Showing yourself compassion is essential at this time.

Quick check-in so the many kind folks on here won't wonder: I'm following the schedule today but seem to have a case of the slows. I'm behind by over an hour. Maybe I should keep the tentoedsloth name. No, I'm not being hard on myself; I got a lot done and I don't think I'm lazy. But it's true I often don't move very fast.

The familiar worries come and go. That's what bipolar is about, right? Things coming and going? Thank goodness for the "going" part.

Overall, it's been a good day for me, and I'm happy to see that a number of people posted here about doing better.

Hey everyone! Thank you all for the lovely Happy Birthday’s.

I am incredibly sad …..so much so that I can’t even put it into words.

I’m going to step away until I feel I can be supportive to everyone. My well is completely dry.

Hugs and love to anyone in need.

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@BethRags

I totally understand. I've been there. Complicated mixups and multiple phone calls are frustrating and annoying at any time.

Changing things is hard too, but we have to try it sometimes, I think, because we can't just keep on doing the same thing forever. I hope it all settles out, as in my experience it often does in a while, back to a good place.

@wildflowerchild25

I'm so sorry things are going badly right now. At least among this group you're understood and don't have to be embarrassed.

@Mountaindewed

You're almost there; you're probably already asleep and you'll be getting your answers soon.

9/11 was one big burst of scary, something totally unexpected and not like anything we had experienced before, but as days went by and nothing else happened the fear started to diminish. The pandemic, we can somewhat protect ourselves from, but it goes on and on and is wearing some people down. And the other stuff.... well, I'm not going into all that. People can adapt and that's what we have to do.

Hopefully that will set things right!

I'm sorry Christina, I hope things get better for you

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Thanks! I hope so. I'm currently panicking and thinking my meds were poisoned. I'm really sick of feeling like this, it makes me so upset and anxious.

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Yeah my doctor thought I should do some mental health counseling and I said no lol. I have had counseling in the past and it does not do much for me and part of that is because I have trust issues with counselors and I could never open up to them.
I actually attend two different church groups a week right now and those are like group therapy for me and I do pretty good in those.
Now after my daughter and I get done with the Grief Share program we are going to go to her counselor for a free group therapy. The only reason we don't start it now is cause it is at the same time as our grief share program.


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Doing pretty good today I am a little more depressed today then I have been for the last couple of days.

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@Mountaindewed, 9/11 was indeed very scary. I was 31 years old at the time, and coincidentally rather ill with my bipolar disorder. I am from the NYC/NJ/Philly area, so it seemed quite close to home. My husband and I took his nephew to the top of the WTC only three months before in July 2001. What made the attacks so horrible is that they all happened on US soil. Because of that, the blissful security most Americans felt in their otherwise "strong" and secure homeland was crushed. What was extra hard for my community was that the anthrax attacks (to those who remember) followed only one week later. Our post office was temporarily closed because some of the letters went through there. Then we were soon after receiving yellowed letters in plastic bags, that had been "treated" for possible anthrax. I confess that sounds like low-flying planes terrorized me around that time. The paranoia of mental illness (and attacks) exacerbated the fear. My illness worsened, and then one year later my mother died, unexpectedly and suddenly, of cancer. Another severe attack.

It's hard to properly compare the above-mentioned horrors to certain others. I can say that I'm far more concerned by what may face us in the future. Attacks from within continue, but are more from domestic foes and will affect the whole more directly. It's extra frightening when the attacker is an internal illness that to some is not initially recognized. At first lurking like a spider, then pouncing and a form of slow strangulation. What's brewing in the world now is horrible. It's almost impossible to stop.

Then, there are also foreign attackers waiting nearby (even off the shore). Quietly. My husband understands a little Russian, as it was forced on him during communism. A Russian official says the US (and allies) is to blame for Ukraine. That's a lie and a way to excuse possible things to come. There are some in the US who are ready and willing to support that as a means of taking power again. The end of democracy is 50 times more frightening, to me, than 9/11 and anthrax, together. This time, I'm currently mentally stable. Yet tragedy can change that.

My advice to Americans? Don't limit yourself to only the news you think you believe in. It's important to see the "other side's" news, while the other side's perspective is still permitted in the country. That freedom of press can change. An autocracy is quick to label news as false/fake and journalists as demons. Familiar?

In history, there are many cases when groups of people believed certain horrors to be so bad that they wouldn't happen, or at least never happen again. But they did. Putting one's head under a pillow doesn't prevent such things. Strength and security must be planned for and risen up to to the best of one's ability. That helps a lot. Totally unexpected stuff is out of our control.

I'm just really freaked out by whats going on right now because as you said its hard to know what to compare it to if anything. I do remember adults looking concerned after 9/11 but not how badly everyone was scared. I remember how concerned everyone was with how Saturday Night Live was going to handle things.

I woke up very early due to anxiety about my own current issues and I went to get something to drink and my mom was up watching the news in the middle of the night. Kinda unsettling. Shes trying to reassure me at this point the United States just has to worry about really high gas prices. She often sugar coats things for me though but my therapist told me as a mom thats her job.

I had a bad break up with my boyfriend (I initiated it) but I think I’m going to be okay. There were many red flags but I was too in love too pay attention. I’m going to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on. I was thinking of terminating my membership here but I’m not going to let anybody run me off.

It will be an adjustment, but after having talked with several people, I dodged a bullet. It hurts right now but at least I know what I do and don’t want in a relationship.

I’m making plans to head to the Smokies for a few days with my daughter and before you know it it will be floating weather and time for Florida. I will keep busy with movies, fun events and bible study.

Feeling blue but determined. I’m proud of myself for giving it a shot whereas I said never before. Who knows? This or something better may come along.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day.

Im sorry to hear about the bad break up @Jennifer 1967
But it sounds like you handled things well and have made a decision for the best.

Heading away sounds lie a nice idea I hope you have a lovely time with your daughter!

Thanks so much @BethRags

I know I really should see my friend, so far we have made plans to just stay in at hers and have some mexican food. I think that way I dont have to deal with other people which would be good.

And I have a PBGV (petit basset griffon vendeen) they were originally french hunting dogs. Hes just small, about 12Kg

Im so sorry to hear youve been stressed. That must be so frustrating with your meds. I had a problem with mine always having to be ordered in then I would go back to get them and they hadnt arrived but if I tried to phone to check if they had arrived no one would answer the phone becuase theyre always too busy.
It happened every time until I moved to a different pharmacy (because I moved out of my house).
Its just more stress on top of stress youre already feeling which is unhelpful! Saying that, at least youve got them now!

Are they working for you?

I 'm glad youre having a think about how often you want to see your therapist, just take your time and think it over!

Sending lots of hugs your way

Im doing ok today, I had an extra couple of hours sleep this morning because I was just super tired so I went back to bed. Im still struggling with the hypersomnia. But Ive not been napping during the afternoons for the last couple of days. I did end up falling asleep last night without even remembering because I was so tired.

Im going to the pet shop today I think so I need to get ready and get the dog sorted because Im getting him a new harness.

Other than that I need to contact wedding people again about dates. Were going to our venue the weekend after next to finalise our date and then we can book the band and photgrapher. Its just a really small wedding. I dont have that many friends and my fiance is on the autism spectrum so he has even less.

Im glad to read that some people have been doing better.
I hope everyone has a good day today!!

I'm about to leave for my procedure. The weather is cooperating. Now I just have get through this, a pre-op visit and COVID test Monday and surgery is Wednesday. So I have some more potential weather issues but this one is the thing I dreaded most so even if I have to postpone surgery for some reason next week at least this part will be over.

[QUOTE=Mountaindewed;7182391

Was 9/11 scarier then what is currently going on in the world? I was only 8 so I did not really understand how scary it was. But my mom said it was terrifying and we had no idea if more buildings were going to be hit or what would happen.[/QUOTE]
I don’t think the quote I’m replying to is showing up but this response is in reply to mountaindeweds question about 9/11

It was to me. I was a teenager and I’d never seen anything like it. I thought the world was pretty safe up til then. I don’t even live in the US but that day changed my world.

I feel like a nervous wreck about everything. I slept terribly for the 3rd night in a row. I woke up at 1AM and my mom was up watching the news. Which was kinda creepy. I had a valium around 3 which didnt work. I can't eat. I am anxious about what my doctor will say this afternoon and the situation in Ukraine. Basically I'm just a mess and I don't know when I'll feel better.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I had a bad break up with my boyfriend (I initiated it) but I think I’m going to be okay. There were many red flags but I was too in love too pay attention. I’m going to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on. I was thinking of terminating my membership here but I’m not going to let anybody run me off. It will be an adjustment, but after having talked with several people, I dodged a bullet. It hurts right now but at least I know what I do and don’t want in a relationship. I’m making plans to head to the Smokies for a few days with my daughter and before you know it it will be floating weather and time for Florida. I will keep busy with movies, fun events and bible study. Feeling blue but determined. I’m proud of myself for giving it a shot whereas I said never before. Who knows? This or something better may come along. I hope everybody has a peaceful day.

I'm very sorry that you had to go through a bad break-up - but very pleased for you that you have learned a lot from it.

Perhaps it's selfish of me, but I would miss your presence here A LOT if you should leave. I love hearing about your relationship with your daughter. It reminds me of mine with my daughter, when she was that age.

You have some exciting plans ahead!

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I feel like a nervous wreck about everything. I slept terribly for the 3rd night in a row. I woke up at 1AM and my mom was up watching the news. Which was kinda creepy. I had a valium around 3 which didnt work. I can't eat. I am anxious about what my doctor will say this afternoon and the situation in Ukraine. Basically I'm just a mess and I don't know when I'll feel better.

I'll be checking the board for you later today, after your appointment.