Bipolar check-in #62

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I'm about to leave for my procedure. The weather is cooperating. Now I just have get through this, a pre-op visit and COVID test Monday and surgery is Wednesday. So I have some more potential weather issues but this one is the thing I dreaded most so even if I have to postpone surgery for some reason next week at least this part will be over.

I hope the procedure goes smoothly, Rainbow. If you can, please check in later.

My husband and I had great success today cleaning some of the attic. Hubby vacuumed up the visible mouse remnants and then mopped the floor with a disinfectant. Both of us worked to clear out a portion of the attic, putting some things for donation, some for trash, and combining stuff to keep, yet decrease the number of boxes. I have to do a good bit of laundry for clothes that weren't perfectly stored. We also had to wipe down various boxes with the disinfectant. He was much better than I expected in terms of "giving up" stuff for donation and trash. Super kudos to him! There is a much wider walkway in the front part of the attic now.

We worked for about four hours total. My back is killing me. As for a percentage of the project completed? Maybe 25%. To be continued maybe tomorrow or Saturday.

We'll need to make trips to the dump and donation box. Hubby emailed a second hand shop and is yet to hear back. There aren't so many places like that in CZ, as in the US. Before we moved, we had donated a ton to Vietnam Vets. We also had a "Free Giveaway Day", which obviously attracted many. Garage sales are not a practice in CZ, so that idea is out.

I'm going to ask Hubby to order a pizza tonight. I have my Czech class in an hour (5 pm Czech time).

Thank you so much for your kind message. It’s very thoughtful and greatly appreciated.

@Jennifer 1967:

Sorry your romance didn't work out but i've done the same thing many times: ignored red flags to my eternal regret. At least you didn't spend a lot of time with this guy and have clarified what you're looking for in a man, so you got something out of it.

I had my procedure. It was much less than the prior one that was supposed to be like it. It hurt some with the compression from the mammogram which I'd honestly never had trouble with but it wasn't nearly as long and I only have a band-aid. No cut in the skin, just numbing and then a needle thing that let them place the reflector device. It was odd seeing a needle sticking out of my breast though. They said not to look if I'm squeamish so of course I had to look! The weird part was they use a sound device to make sure the reflector is working. So I had a beeping breast for a minute. I never expected that in my life.

Pre-op went fine. I had blood drawn and an EKG and a thorough history . (Physcial was to be Monday). Then anesthesia came in and it all fell apart. I'm not having surgery next week.


I asked the surgeon on the 15th if I'd be ok with my MAOI and anesthesia. She said it would be fine. Instead none of the anesthesiologists at this hospital are comfortable doing the surgery without my being off the MAOI for 2 weeks. I would be suicidal and IP at that point. So that means I have to go to the big city 2.25 hours from here where they've done surgery on me before while I was on the MAOI. Their anesthesiology department have a protocol for handling it.

They are going to refer me to someone and call me with that information. Then I'll be able to contact my pdoc who is at that hospital and can talk to anesthesia.


My fear is that it is going to take another 2-3 months. This isn't a high priority lesion. It needs to come out but not necessarily today. I just don't want to wait a lot longer. I don't want to go through more tests. Today was my 5th mammogram since 12/15. That's enough. I'm going to glow in the dark soon.

I need to sleep. I have been up since 5 which is extremely early for me and I'm emotionally drained. I don't know if I can sleep or not. I can't believe I got within days of surgery only to have it cancelled.

@BeyondtheRainbow, I'm glad you're procedure went well. You're like my husband in liking "to look" when some medical procedure is being done. I'm glad you're able to have your upcoming surgery while still on the MAOI.

@Jennifer 1967, I'm sorry to read about your breakup. I guess it's just as well it was your choice in it. As BethRags wrote, we would be extremely sad if you stepped away from here. Perhaps that ex boyfriend won't come here, or will step away if he does.

My sister-in-law talked to my husband and said that on the Czech news she heard that there is a 12-hour wait of Ukrainians at the Slovak Republic border. It's just awful what is happening! Imagine fearing to the degree of leaving your country? Once they get into Slovak Republic, many of the refugees will surely come to Czech Republic. Czech Republic ready to take in refugees from Ukraine | Radio Prague International Unlike between Ukraine and Slovak Republic, where there is an official border, there is no border crossing between Slovak Republics and Czech Republics. Slovak Republic and Czech Republics are both EU members. Ukraine is not. EU members do not have border crossings between them.

I saw the Ukrainian president giving a speech directed at the Russian people. He was telling them that what Putin was saying was false. The sad part is that most Russians would not see the speech as Putin pretty much controls the media. They flat out wouldn't show the speech. So, Zelenskyy was mostly speaking to the Russians that live within Ukraine's borders. Zelenskky is a very pleasant kind of man who was elected as the first "descent" kind of man after dishonest criminal types. When he gave the speech he looked very disturbed and on the verge of tears. The good thing is that apparently many Russian people are not in favor of the evil cr*p Putin is doing. Let's hope that at some point that makes a positive difference.

The other day, my sister wrote me that my brother heard that China might invade Taiwan someday. This is a possibility I've known about for a long time. I lived in Taiwan and know that such an invasion would be dreaded by them. I feel worried as they've been unable to secure definite powerful allies around the world. It's all about international relations. When I was in Taiwan, Hong Kong was not yet under the thumb of China P.R.C.

I hope they can reschedule the surgery quickly that you won’t have to wait long. Glad the procedure went well.

I can feel myself faltering in my decision and the pain is a bit much right now. I asked my therapist to see me on an emergency basis.

I was honest with her about the red flags and she said it was good I ran and not walked away. With the diagnosis and some of the behavior there are extremely deep issues, toxicity and dysfunctional things going on. She said had we met up in December as planned, it would have been a nightmare.

I do at least realize that I want a healthy relationship, so I’ve put my profile up on some dating websites and accepted a coffee date with an old boyfriend from high school. Although I’m sad and I hurt, I’m not letting grass grow. I’ll learn from this and move on.

Thank you for the kind words of support. They really comforted me a great deal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I had my procedure. It was much less than the prior one that was supposed to be like it. It hurt some with the compression from the mammogram which I'd honestly never had trouble with but it wasn't nearly as long and I only have a band-aid. No cut in the skin, just numbing and then a needle thing that let them place the reflector device. It was odd seeing a needle sticking out of my breast though. They said not to look if I'm squeamish so of course I had to look! The weird part was they use a sound device to make sure the reflector is working. So I had a beeping breast for a minute. I never expected that in my life. Pre-op went fine. I had blood drawn and an EKG and a thorough history . (Physcial was to be Monday). Then anesthesia came in and it all fell apart. I'm not having surgery next week. I asked the surgeon on the 15th if I'd be ok with my MAOI and anesthesia. She said it would be fine. Instead none of the anesthesiologists at this hospital are comfortable doing the surgery without my being off the MAOI for 2 weeks. I would be suicidal and IP at that point. So that means I have to go to the big city 2.25 hours from here where they've done surgery on me before while I was on the MAOI. Their anesthesiology department have a protocol for handling it. They are going to refer me to someone and call me with that information. Then I'll be able to contact my pdoc who is at that hospital and can talk to anesthesia. My fear is that it is going to take another 2-3 months. This isn't a high priority lesion. It needs to come out but not necessarily today. I just don't want to wait a lot longer. I don't want to go through more tests. Today was my 5th mammogram since 12/15. That's enough. I'm going to glow in the dark soon. I need to sleep. I have been up since 5 which is extremely early for me and I'm emotionally drained. I don't know if I can sleep or not. I can't believe I got within days of surgery only to have it cancelled.

Hi Rainbow Thank you for checking in. Your first paragraph made me smile. I would have "looked" too! Wouldn't have been able to resist. The beeping breast, though...that's wild!

And then the very, very frustrating news. As if it's not enough to have to be on psych meds, then you get hit with such news. What a frustrating, discouraging let down. Of course, safety is top priority, but it still has to be hard to take such news, I think. I just hope that things move more quickly than you expect them to. I have my fingers crossed for you.

And I agree about the mammograms. 5 in 2 months seems to be quite enough.

You are so resilient. It sounds like you avoided a terrible situation and I'm glad you didn't and that you are taking care of yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour My sister-in-law talked to my husband and said that on the Czech news she heard that there is a 12-hour wait of Ukrainians at the Slovak Republic border. It's just awful what is happening! Imagine fearing to the degree of leaving your country? Once they get into Slovak Republic, many of the refugees will surely come to Czech Republic. Czech Republic ready to take in refugees from Ukraine | Radio Prague International Unlike between Ukraine and Slovak Republic, where there is an official border, there is no border crossing between Slovak Republics and Czech Republics. Slovak Republic and Czech Republics are both EU members. Ukraine is not. EU members do not have border crossings between them. I saw the Ukrainian president giving a speech directed at the Russian people. He was telling them that what Putin was saying was false. The sad part is that most Russians would not see the speech as Putin pretty much controls the media. They flat out wouldn't show the speech. So, Zelenskyy was mostly speaking to the Russians that live within Ukraine's borders. Zelenskky is a very pleasant kind of man who was elected as the first "descent" kind of man after dishonest criminal types. When he gave the speech he looked very disturbed and on the verge of tears. The good thing is that apparently many Russian people are not in favor of the evil cr*p Putin is doing. Let's hope that at some point that makes a positive difference. The other day, my sister wrote me that my brother heard that China might invade Taiwan someday. This is a possibility I've known about for a long time. I lived in Taiwan and know that such an invasion would be dreaded by them. I feel worried as they've been unable to secure definite powerful allies around the world. It's all about international relations. When I was in Taiwan, Hong Kong was not yet under the thumb of China P.R.C.

Thank you, Soupe, for the information and the article you've shared. Here we go on the carousel ride, and we never even bought a ticket.


I appreciate the perspective you have, being in Czech. Something that jumps out at me is about older parents not wanting to leave their homes. I certainly wouldn't want to, either.


My husband firmly believes that China will invade Taiwan at some point. I hope that what Putin is doing doesn't give China inspiration.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I can feel myself faltering in my decision and the pain is a bit much right now. I asked my therapist to see me on an emergency basis. I was honest with her about the red flags and she said it was good I ran and not walked away. With the diagnosis and some of the behavior there are extremely deep issues, toxicity and dysfunctional things going on. She said had we met up in December as planned, it would have been a nightmare. I do at least realize that I want a healthy relationship, so I’ve put my profile up on some dating websites and accepted a coffee date with an old boyfriend from high school. Although I’m sad and I hurt, I’m not letting grass grow. I’ll learn from this and move on. Thank you for the kind words of support. They really comforted me a great deal.

Good, good for seeing your therapist! Way to self-care

The coffee date sounds like fun. And cathartic.

So I basically never did truly sleep last night. I got out of bed at 5 to take Sidney's blood glucose, feed everybody, and give Sid her insulin shot, which she has to have at 6. I was so tired and achy, I took Tylenol PM, went back to bed, and did sleep well for almost 5 hours. What a relief.

I am wondering if it's the Zoloft that is causing this extreme insomnia. I'm not going to take it tonight, then will take the usual dose in the morning and see if switching to mornings helps my sleep. The Doxepin (for sleep) is useless, and even the Seroquel hasn't been too helpful.

I bought a set of bamboo sheets for my bed. They're...interesting. A satiny feel, and I can see how they would be excellent for summer heat. They stay cool. The only problem is that the sheets collect lint (and cat hair). That would probably keep me from buying another set. Kind-of amusing...I purchased the sheets from Amazon and in the photo they looked like a dark plum color. Well, in reality they are a screaming PURPLE They look exactly like my high school graduation robe. And boy, they don't fade in the wash AT ALL!

So that's the story of my bamboo sheets

Like almost everyone, I am uptight about the Ukraine situation. In my hometown I knew many Ukrainians. I am thinking of them today.

The wind, thankfully, has stopped, but the air is icy-cold. The type of cold that occurs in northern California really goes through you. It's biting.

I hope that Mountaindew checks in soon and I would love to hear from Moose! Where are you, Moose

Love and peace all around.

Ok so the appointment is at 2PM TOMMROW. I legit spent my whole day doing nothing but being a nervous wreck. And now I have to deal with another possibly bad night and all day tommorow. Ugh. I am never this bad with remembering appointments. I was getting ready to leave my house and now I have no clue what to do with myself. I took my meds early and everything and I brushed my teeth in the middle of the day. I for real thought it was today.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed Ok so the appointment is at 2PM TOMMROW. I legit spent my whole day doing nothing but being a nervous wreck. And now I have to deal with another possibly bad night and all day tommorow. Ugh. I am never this bad with remembering appointments. I was getting ready to leave my house and now I have no clue what to do with myself.

I literally just typed your name. UGGGGHHHH! That seriously SUCKS. All I can say is, time passes. I hope you can occupy your day so the time passes more quickly

Hi! I have seen Ground Zero some years ago, both the empty holes where the towers stood, all the names and I was at a museum underground there too. I understand very much that this was terrible for the American people. Furthermore, I think it made a deep impression on all of us here in Europe (old enough to understand what had happened) and a feeling of solidarity with Americans. I lived in a high house at that time and a lot of planes passed almost close to our windows. (So it seemed, but of course they were not so close). Sometimes it looked as if they were going to fly right into our home. Guess how I felt?

For now, the Ukraine people are in my heart.

That's good, Jennifer! Keep going!

Oh Im so sorry youre still struggling with insomnia, @BethRags

My sister had terrible insomnia on Sertraline/ Zoloft, she had to keep the dose down because she couldnt sleep on a higher dose. Do you take it in the morning? Its usually prescribed in this country in the morning becuase of the effect it can have on sleep.

I LOVE the sound of your purple bed sheets Bamboo material is so nice, I really like my bamboo socks! But I can imagine it might accumulate lots of animal hair...

Im really upset about the whole situation in the Ukraine too and I wish for things to be very different. Its so scary and I hope people stay safe. Theres so much more that I could say but it would make little difference.

Sending lots of hugs your way

I really hope it goes as well as possible tomorrow! Ill be thinking of you @Mountaindewed

@BeyondtheRainbow

Im so glad to hear the procedure went well! Im so sorry that the surgery has been put off but glad that you can stay on your meds and that the other hospital have a protocol for MAOIs. It must be so frustrating and horrible to have to wait longer though

Youre in my thoughts and Im hoping that the surgery gets rearranged quickly!

I'm so sad and worried for all the people who are under threat in the Ukraine and all around. Its absolutely awful what is happening.
I think this is only the beginning.

Ive been ok otherwise, had a nap this afternoon becuase I got too tired and Im in bed and its only just about 8:30pm.

I like my dogs new harness, its rainbow coloured (they only had that or orange and I thought that one looked pretty!).
I was hoping he had grown out of his travel sickness but he threw up in the car today so I guess he can only cope with short journeys unless I give him the medication from the vet.

I hope everyone has a nice evening/night

@Soupe du jour

Wow! Congratulations to both of you. I bet that feels good--except maybe not physically.

@BeyondtheRainbow:

I'm glad the procedure was easier than you were dreading but i feel just awful for you that your surgery is delayed. It must be beyond frustrating to have diligently checked on your medication interactions and been given the okay only to be ultimately told no, it's not okay after all. Well, at least the right thing will be done in the end and that's the important thing. I'm sure a further delay is very upsetting tho. Sending good thoughts for the calmest most peaceful waiting period possible.

@BeyondtheRainbow

At least you won't have to repeat what you had done today--right? So that was progress.

Maybe it won't take much longer. If it does... I hate waiting for stuff like that too and I wish there was something helpful to say, besides, "Hang in there."

Thank you for giving the update.