Bipolar check-in #63

Um, chill out.

Sometimes I wonder if I "talk" too much.

Dude I don't get what your problem is all of a sudden. Everyone on here has been nothing but supportive and helpful to you. Why are you being a **** for no reason?

Please tell me what I did, so I won't do it again. I had no unpleasant intentions.

I had a quiet day. I'm over my upset yesterday about being turned down by the CBT program. I had my doubts about it anyways. I think meditation is more my jam. My ZOOM social hour was pretty tame. I didn't last the whole time. I took a shower and did a bit of tidying. I've dabbled in Scrabble and music both without much conviction but that's just how it is with mild depression. I haven't dared try TV. I feel okay. It's not too long til bedtime at 11:00pm. I'm adjusting to the time change.

Wishing everyone well!

@BethRags

Don’t judge me for being a nerd lol but the one I’m getting finished now is a raven claw Harry Potter tattoo lol. I do have several though. The forearm ones are my favorite though, and multi purpose. They cover the severe scarring I have from self harm and also deter me from doing more, at least on my forearms, which used to be my go-to place. The left is a hummingbird with dogwood flowers, and the right is a William Wordsworth quote with daffodils and lilacs.

I have promised myself if I can be self harm free for a year I will get my thighs tattooed as well, again to deter me from doing it there. I have a song quote that will cover across both. It’s one of my favorite song from when I was a teenager.

The quote is:
And when you wake up, everything is gonna be fine.
I guarantee that you’ll wake in a better place, a better time.

It’s from streetlight manifesto. I hold a lot of good memories from that band. They haven’t made new music in almost ten years but I’ll always hold them dear to my heart.

That’s a beautiful quote! I’m glad you have those good memories

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 I also have several tattoos- inner wrist, one on each calf and one on each foot.

Oh, wow! Nice!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed Dude I don't get what your problem is all of a sudden. Everyone on here has been nothing but supportive and helpful to you. Why are you being a **** for no reason?

Hi, Md Forgive me for stepping in, but I hate to see you feel hurt or bad. 10ts didn't mean anything bad...she (as I understand it) was pointing out that some people are too critical of anyone who is different than they are. She meant that she doesn't like it when people are mean in that way.
I think you misread her post.

I hope your mom "gets it" better as time passes.


Take good care of yourself, my friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 @BethRags Don’t judge me for being a nerd lol but the one I’m getting finished now is a raven claw Harry Potter tattoo lol. I do have several though. The forearm ones are my favorite though, and multi purpose. They cover the severe scarring I have from self harm and also deter me from doing more, at least on my forearms, which used to be my go-to place. The left is a hummingbird with dogwood flowers, and the right is a William Wordsworth quote with daffodils and lilacs. I have promised myself if I can be self harm free for a year I will get my thighs tattooed as well, again to deter me from doing it there. I have a song quote that will cover across both. It’s one of my favorite song from when I was a teenager. The quote is: And when you wake up, everything is gonna be fine. I guarantee that you’ll wake in a better place, a better time. It’s from streetlight manifesto. I hold a lot of good memories from that band. They haven’t made new music in almost ten years but I’ll always hold them dear to my heart.

It all sounds just beautiful! Thank you for sharing your body work with me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 I had a quiet day. I'm over my upset yesterday about being turned down by the CBT program. I had my doubts about it anyways. I think meditation is more my jam. My ZOOM social hour was pretty tame. I didn't last the whole time. I took a shower and did a bit of tidying. I've dabbled in Scrabble and music both without much conviction but that's just how it is with mild depression. I haven't dared try TV. I feel okay. It's not too long til bedtime at 11:00pm. I'm adjusting to the time change. Wishing everyone well!

I was going to ask how you're doing if I didn't see you here. Forgive me for assuming, but I have the intuition that you wouldn't be wild over CBT. I do believe that CBT has some value, but I also think it carries some BS with it. I mean, it really does work for some people, but I'm thinking that you're not one of those people.

So the electricity went out in half my apartment. It was out for nearly an hour, so no access to anything electronic, except my blow dryer lol, because the bathroom had electricity. I was nearly coming unglued because of Sid's insulin being in the refrigerator. Insulin has to stay cold. But the power suddenly came back on, thank the Universe. I'm sure the insulin is fine. The whole thing set me back, though. No big deal; I can catch up tomorrow. I washed my warm blankets and they are successfully stored in the new storage container beneath my bed.

I have so much recycling to take to the bin. I get all stressed out about things like taking garbage out, recycling, stupid stuff that isn't worth stressing over.


My wedding was in May of 1988. I wore a tea-length lace dress that was a color called "candle glow." A soft, soft pale peach. It had tiny buttons going all the way up the back. The wedding colors were lilac/lavender and peach. We already had our little daughter; she was 3 and was our flower girl. I was 4 months pregnant with our son. I wasn't showing much, though - even though he turned out to weight 10lbs., 7 oz. at birth! We were married in my best friend's home, about 50 guests. (Poor and very generous dear, she had nice, white carpet that everyone was walking on. Ugh.) It was such a nice wedding and such a lovely, drizzly spring afternoon.

For some reason, that memory popped into my mind.

Bouquets of roses to all of you for dancing through life as beautifully as you do!

I’m beyond stressed just stop the world I want the hell off.

FML

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Oh Christina! Many hugs for you!

So now that we know every things okay my dog was bit in the head last Wednesday when the dogs got into a fight. We don't know what really happen or which one started it but my nephew broke it up, we weren't home. Since then they've been fine. They are always supervised now. Actually we keep our dog by our side. I'm now at the point where I want my son to move out with our dog until things settle down.

I start therapy Thursday hopefully that will help.

*** Please read ***

Besides bipolar, a mild form of autism also runs in my family, and sometimes I say insensitive things not knowing that that's what they are. I'm thinking about that incident earlier today in which I apparently angered or hurt a very well-liked long term member of this group, someone I've never seen get angry before. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding of what I wrote. I assure that person that I have a lot of respect for them, and was even starting to consider them a friend.

Anyway, if I am either insensitive, however unintentionally, or that bad at communicating, I don't belong on a support forum.

Maybe I'll be back in a while and just give hugs, or maybe sometimes post some general information, nothing about any person here.

Best wishes to ALL for a much better life.

Don't leave....

Yeah it was nice. My wife loved the rain.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina I’m beyond stressed just stop the world I want the hell off. FML Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm sending hugs and love

@BethRags:

Yeah, i had my doubts about CBT. I've actually read and worked on it a lot on my own, without success. I just thought it might be different working with a therapist. I've heard that CBT's not useful because if you tell yourself NOT to think of a pink elephant, all you CAN think of is a pink elephant. It's a charming little paradigm tho, with lots for me to memorize but ultimately it's probably not suitable.

I think meditation will be my jam. I so love reading about the 'Acceptance' tenet of mindfulness meditation in "Full Catastrophe Living" where it says if you are fat, just accept it as a description of your body at this time and love yourself and your body anyways because now is the only time for anything. With acceptance, change will happen more easily and naturally.

So i meditated and did a few minutes of aerobics tonight. My arms are so weak! It was fun tho.

Sorry to hear about your partial power failure today. Glad there was no lasting damage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tentoedsloth *** Please read *** Besides bipolar, a mild form of autism also runs in my family, and sometimes I say insensitive things not knowing that that's what they are. I'm thinking about that incident earlier today in which I apparently angered or hurt a very well-liked long term member of this group, someone I've never seen get angry before. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding of what I wrote. I assure that person that I have a lot of respect for them, and was even starting to consider them a friend. Anyway, if I am either insensitive, however unintentionally, or that bad at communicating, I don't belong on a support forum. Maybe I'll be back in a while and just give hugs, or maybe sometimes post some general information, nothing about any person here. Best wishes to ALL for a much better life.

10ts, please, please don't refrain from joining in here. You bring so much to all of us. Occasionally, a misunderstanding occurs between members; it's inevitable now and then. He's a smart-*** sometimes, anyway (which I love about him ), and he does get angry now and then! No biggie.

I feel such a friendship with BOTH of you and want BOTH of you here with the rest of us

This is the part I got upset at

"that because of your delicate little persnickety feelings another human being shouldn't live a good life?"

@Mountaindewed

Oh no! I was talking about some people I know who love to sit around talking hatefully about people who aren't like them, gay, transgender, black, and Democrats.

How could I have been referring to you? You've never said other people shouldn't have whatever life they want.

It must have just jumped out at you because you've been insulted too many times.

@tentoedsloth I'm very sorry. I thought you meant me. You didn't do anything it was my fault for not understanding. Please don't leave.

@Mountaindewed

That's very sweet. But I do make social mistakes and you're not the first person on here who's gotten mad at me.

I may be back, posting a lot less.