Bipolar check-in #63

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Originally Posted by whatever2013 I had a wretched day taking my dog to the vet on the bus. It was for her rabies shot and other routine work and i expected it to be about $600. But the vet wanted to do complete blood and urine tests since she had that diabetes scare recently. That turned out to be an extra $400 so in total it was $1000. So that was discouraging. I felt down about it all day and from the stress of four bus rides with my dog in the mild but filthy March weather. It took a while to unwind. But just now i took a break in my bedroom and huggled and snuggled with my dog on my bed and enjoyed her luxurious fur which she will only have for a few more days as she is getting groomed on Monday. Another ordeal but i will have my one close neighbor with me so it won't be so bad and just $100 and we'll go in style in her car. Everything's so much harder with this mild depression. It just casts a shadow over everything. Beware those of you considering pets: it's expensive and care is an ordeal if you're depressed. But i got it done! I guess that's something!

Jane, that was a huge (and expensive) accomplishment. Give yourself a hug! It's terrific that you'll be able to go in the car tomorrow.

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Originally Posted by Pinny I’m really demotivated just now. I think the hypersomnia is getting to me. Plus my mum keeps making unsupportive comments whenever we talk. I’ve taken an extra half of aripiprazole the past couple of days to see if it helps with the hypersomnia (it’s what my pdoc told me to do last time). I think it’s helping because it’s 9:30pm and I’m still awake today! Im very yawny though But at least I’m awake! I’m going to try and stay awake all day tomorrow without any naps/sleeping in/going to bed early! Heres hoping! So I’m away to listen to some of my favourite music like @BethRags suggested, read my book and go to sleep. I hope you all have a lovely night!

I hope that you are having a lovely sleep right now.


I'm awfully sorry about your mom making those comments. Have you told her that her comments are hurtful to you?

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Originally Posted by giddykitty I don't usually use this thread because it's hard to keep up, but i don't need a new thread for this news. I'm weaning off zoloft now and will depend solely on the vraylar. I hope it helps me get my weight in check and also keep the depression at bay.

That is great, gk! I have my fingers crossed for you xx

I never did take a walk today. I feel depressed when I take walks, unless I'm in a large city. Just walking past mostly empty houses, or seeing the occasional other lonely person in their yard, is what deters me. I'd rather walk at night, but it's not a smart idea. I have no one to walk with and worse, I don't want to walk with anyone. Sometimes I used to talk with my daughter on the phone while I walked, or I would look forward to calling her after my walk. But since she doesn't communicate with me those joys are absent.

I did do some stretching, though, and that felt so good. Stretching always does. Then when it's twilight I will take my recycling out, so at least that involves stairs.

Tonight I am going to watch "Sanditon." I'm hoping it will be a fun show. One of my favorite actors, Alexander Vlahos, will be in the 2nd season.

Love and hugs all around

Yeah I know I guess I'm just a bit paranoid since my doctor did tell me I am at an increase risk for a stroke. Right now I just smell the normal bad smell I smell when lying down on my back. But nothing burnt.

A 🦟 mosquito was buzzing around Noah this afternoon when he was fixing his car. First one I've encountered this year.

I did laundry today and took a shower so now I'm comfy in bed with clean me and clean sheets under my weighted blanket and my comforter. Feels good.

Today was warm- almost 75 degrees! March weather is crazy here. It's supposed to snow in the next few days too!

Went to my parents house tonight to use my dad's computer to print off some paperwork. Well my dad was out and I don't know his password. I spent like 2 hours talking to my mom. It really was a nice visit. We laughed and cried but it was nice.
I got my wife's death certificate today tomorrow it will be 4 months since she died. This week has been rough on me I'm Really depressed. My little dog is not feeling well today so I am going to take him to the vet tomorrow he has a heart condition I hope he is not dying I don't know if I could handle that. Him and I are very codependent on each other lol. I wish this crap would go away.
I took that doctors advice last night and started taking more seriquil I'm talking about 200mg twice a day instead of 100mg at night. It does not knock me out but it helps me a little bit. I have been up since like 2 this morning and I went to bed last night at like 12.

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I can’t imagine the pain of a loss like your wife. Try not to allow yourself to sink into thinking you could have stopped it. There’s probably nothing you could have done.

Try to go easy on yourself…you are grieving and there’s no time stamp on that. Good for you going out.

Take care of you

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Hope you get the feeling better soon. I’m glad your talking to RS about your struggles.

How is your medication ? I remember you were wanting to decrease it ?

Go easy on yourself your still fresh out of IP and I don’t know about you but it takes me sometime to get my feet back under me.

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Hey ! I’m glad you have a trip planned. I’m sure it will be enjoyable. What a gift your Dad having such a birthday.

I hate when my husband comes with when I am grocery shopping he’s very much a impulse shopper especially snack foods. I try to go when he’s already doing something else.

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So happy that you have a new T that is a good fit hopefully she will help you with many of your struggles !

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I Accidentally spilled hot coffee on my arm during work training today and sustained second degree burns. The blisters were huuuuuuuuge

Oh goodness what a vet bill ! Eeekkk !!!

I worry all the time about unexpected need for vet care for my 3.

I hope that your depression starts to ease as spring gets closer and closer.

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How are you doing?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I walked today. I only worry about a wild animal causing me a problem. Mostly would be a Bobcat , Fox or Coyotes . Which it’s never happened but rabies is something I worry about. I carry a walking stick. I did startle a bunch of big turkeys. They look so dumb when they take off flying.

I’m so sorry that your daughter won’t communicate with you I hate that for you. Maybe one day you will hear from her unexpectedly.

I’m glad your tree is coming in with leaves. There is something about new leaves that just makes me smile. I suppose I think of Spring coming back into my life. A welcome gift.

How’s Sidney? Any luck getting glucose levels in a good range? It can be a struggle.

Take care of you !

When did you last do something just for you ??

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Originally Posted by ~Christina I walked today. I only worry about a wild animal causing me a problem. Mostly would be a Bobcat , Fox or Coyotes . Which it’s never happened but rabies is something I worry about. I carry a walking stick. I did startle a bunch of big turkeys. They look so dumb when they take off flying. I’m so sorry that your daughter won’t communicate with you I hate that for you. Maybe one day you will hear from her unexpectedly. I’m glad your tree is coming in with leaves. There is something about new leaves that just makes me smile. I suppose I think of Spring coming back into my life. A welcome gift. How’s Sidney? Any luck getting glucose levels in a good range? It can be a struggle. Take care of you ! When did you last do something just for you ?? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you for your post, Christina. It made me smile. We have turkeys right here in town, they walk from house to house, pecking at the lawns. They sleep up in trees. They're a sight! Last year a lady was chased by a turkey, she said it tried to bite her - and she tried to sue the city! Of course, she didn't get anywhere with that.

It's smart to walk with a stick when there are wild animals in the area.

Yes, one day I will hear from my daughter. That will be a miraculous day for me. Thank you for your kindness.

Patience, patience with Sidney. Her dose has to be increased by teeny increments. But, although her glucose has been on the high side, it has remained in a stable range.

Love to you, my friend

Thanks, Christina! My dad sounded quite happy about my coming.

Yes, what you said Steve does is definitely part of my husband's behavior (impulse purchases). Also, he has his extremes that I guess are on the lower end of perhaps the OCD spectrum. For example, he would buy 30 boxes of Kleenex. Store clerks would even comment about them. Also, he always wanders off elsewhere hard to find. The stores never seem to have phone signals, so I end up having to search for the dude. As I am a methodical shopper, that pisses me off. Duplicate purchases are also common. As I am the sole cook of the household, it's frustrating to find foods in the cart that I had no plans for.

Czech Republic doesn't have many dangerous animals, especially not to dogs or people. A local hawk has killed a couple of our local birds. There are foxes here. Bears only in the remotest wilderness. New Jersey, on the other hand, has these, plus the occasional wild cat or bear. Wild cats are more in northern Jersey, but bears show themselves all over central Jersey, even in the suburbs. My husband has a real fear of bears, even beyond the usual fear.

There's a very cute Czech song from the 1970s, that all Czechs know, about a bear. The lyrics tell the story about tourists going into the woods for a hike, then encountering the bear. The bear scares them all off, steals their cameras, transistor radios, and clogs. Then the bear goes to town and sells them for money to buy peanuts, raspberries, and honey. If interested, the video with song is at The Czech word for "bear" is "medvedi" with "med" meaning "honey". So, they are "honey animals".

Owwwww! One Easter I was Boiling carrots and I dropped the whole pot of boiling water. I jumped back but not before some hit my stomach and thigh. Omg the pain was just terrible.

Take care of your wounds, one of mine got infected :-/ totally my fault for touching it too much. Keep them covered with anti bacterial ointment and bandaids or those nonstick gauze pads for a couple of days. I didn’t do that and my dr made me go to the ER because of the severity of the apparent infection.

I hope you feel better!

I don’t want to take my morning meds. I’m sick of all of them. No more pills.

That is all.

(I am going to take them eventually this morning when I stop being mad about it, don’t worry).

Thankfully we don’t have rabies here…. That’s a lot of money for a shot! I’m impressed though that you’re allowed to take a dog on a bus.

Checking in. My therapist called me out of the blue in response to a text that I sent her. She was worried. That call with my daughter was wretched and I was very upset. She validated my thoughts and feelings and gave me some recommendations for moving forward. I am to protect myself against the verbal abuse and quit trying so hard. To that end, I cancelled the visit scheduled for tomorrow. It would be neither fun nor productive. I honestly don’t know what the next best step is with my daughter. It’s gotten toxic and she is not wanting to take responsibility for her own recovery. It’s easier to point the blame at me, cut me down and treat me as the monster. I’m over it for now.

I have a friend that I’m very fond of and attached to who is quite inconsistent. I’m told them of this and yet the behavior remains. It hurts, sometimes angers and confuses me. I’m not sure what the next best step is there either. Start slowly distancing myself? Build up my other friendships to counter it? I’ve promised myself no more tears over this person and enough self respect to walk away if needed.

I’m just in a pickle all the way around. Life here at the house is hectic and falling apart. They both need to be in nursing homes. I’m barely hanging on.

I know. I’ll have the self love and self respect to put my needs and my recovery first and these situations will fall out however they fall out. I’ll take appropriate action in line with my needs and let the chips fall where they may.

I feel better now. Thanks for listening. Hugs to all.

Thank you Pinny! I hope so too. I’m glad I’m finally getting it all taken care of.

Hope you’re doing well today

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I hope the aripiprazole helps you! I’m on it as well. It helps a lot with my psychotic symptoms and helps my motivation as well.

What kind of books do you read? I love reading, I’m almost always reading anywhere between 1-3 books at a time. It’s just so fun getting immersed in a story and is very stress relieving as well.

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Why am I not excited for our trip yet? We leave in 5 days. I used to LOVE Disney World! I guess part of it is that it's so busy there these days and we will have to wait in long lines. I look forward to seeing my favorite attractions like Spaceship Earth and Carousel of Progress and the People Mover, The Tiki Room, along with new rides like Remi's Ratatouille and the new Start Wars rides and Slinky Dog Dash. And the Florida weather! I love walking out of the airport in Orlando and feeling the air's temperature and humidity and the sunshine on my face and seeing the palm trees. It reminds me of previous trips when I was a kid- and adult. Still sad that N3 and N1 can't go. I would love to have had them with me. But they have other priorities than going to Florida. And N1 recently got laser hair removal on her whole body. She has one more session in April and I think she's done! That's not cheap. I am happy for her. I'm going to get them each a souvenir. I guess I am excited for the trip!

Not much to check in about today. The weather is really nice. I'm in shorts!!! Slept good, mood is fine. I'm having urges to use just because I'm bored but I'm finding other stuff to do.

Hugs to all