Bipolar check-in #63

~Christina · Mar 18, 2022, 10:20 PM

Gave all 3 dogs a bath today. It’s a pretty big task. They of course act all dramatic about it. They loved the treats afterwards of course. Dorks !

Anyone have plans for the weekend ??

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otroo · 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Gave all 3 dogs a bath today. It’s a pretty big task. They of course act all dramatic about it. They loved the treats afterwards of course. Dorks !

Anyone have plans for the weekend ??

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I had to take my little one to the vet today. He has heart problems and I noticed yesterday he was not feeling good. They are adding another medication. He acts like he feels better this evening

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Soupe du jour · Mar 19, 2022, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Y’all I got my peer support certification today

That's wonderful! The people you work with will be fortunate to have such a support, resource, and expert in you.

Soupe du jour · Mar 19, 2022, 03:27 AM

@otroo, I don't think there is ever a situation of "full recovery" from the loss of a dear person. But that doesn't mean we can't continue life and find new love (though not a "replacement") and support that give life satisfaction and happy days.

For me, it took time to start transitioning from complete despair at the thought of loss of my first love, my mother, paternal grandfather, and nephew (all very dear to me) and the ability to look back at them with a smile that they blessed my life. And they are all always with me, in a real sense. They will never be lost in my heart and mind. They helped make me in many ways. That lives on.

I'm so glad you are writing. Writing was also a valuable tool for me during my grieving processes. Some draw, some write, maybe dance, and others do other things as a means of release, remembrance, and more.

Soupe du jour · 05:40 AM

Right now I am on a train to Prague. We'll spend time with some friends and Hubby's family. For some reason a great anxious feeling of unwellness came over me. I confess to taking an Ativan. My antibiotic treatment hasn't helped with that as it also worsens my issues with indigestion and heartburn, making me feel like I will keel over with a heart attack. Ativan helps me with this 99% of the time, unless I abuse it, which I haven't for years. Both my pdoc and tdoc told me I should skip it. Eventually my US supply will run out. They don't prescribe Ativan (lorazepam) in Czech Republic. They have other benzos, but are reluctant to prescribe them.

Masks are still required in public transportation and medical-related places, so I'm wearing one now. I am fully in support of masks, but it adds stress. It's always a sauna for me. When my anxiety builds I also have issues with sweating. It's like a Catch 22 situation.

Hugs to all here!

wildflowerchild25 · Mar 19, 2022, 05:07 AM

Thank you all for the support, I really appreciate it!

I am really trying NOT to go IP again, I don’t want to ruin our Florida trip. It’s all paid for and everyone is really excited. I really think if I can just consistently get good sleep for a few days I’ll do better. I woke up at 5:30 which is not insanely early and I did go to sleep at like 9pm. I’ll have to see how today goes. So far it’s ok but it’s only been a half hour.

unlived · Mar 19, 2022, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I'm really getting angry that every time I open Facebook or somewhere else the first thing I see is "we're all gonna die!" "Its the end of the world!" "Its world war 3!" Yet the news my mom and I are watching (The Today Show, CNN, World News with David Muir) is not saying we're all gonna die and I'm just ****ing tired of people scaring other people and causing such panic. I already deactivated my facebook for over a week because people were getting hysterical and I couldnt tell if they were joking or being serious but I don't find it funny if they are joking.

I’m not seeing that anywhere on Facebook…. Maybe mute those people for a while? They’re just being drama queens.

Mountaindewed · Mar 19, 2022, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unlived

I’m not seeing that anywhere on Facebook…. Maybe mute those people for a while? They’re just being drama queens.

I deactivated it again for a bit. My mom says I need a break from the internet in general, I keep getting so worked up over current events. Maybe I should give her my phone the way I give her my meds.

unlived · Mar 19, 2022, 07:05 AM

I can’t quote it coz it was deleted but the covid sub variant that soupe was talking about in China… not 100% sure it’s the same one but I think it’s the new one that’s spreading like wildfire here in Australia at the moment - so not just China. I assume it’s the same one anyway.

MuddyBoots · 08:49 AM

I accidentally left my painkillers out in the kitchen and guess what's gone missing?

at least I don't really need them anymore. I've been getting by with just tylenol. Doesn't hurt so much now.

tmi: Been bleeding for 18 days now. It's light but still... I just switched from the arm implant to an IUD so that's probably why.

Coming up on a year drug free is really triggering me for some reason. Like I feel I don't feel I don't align with the "in remission" bit. I deserve to be nothing but a junkie.

wildflowerchild25 · Mar 19, 2022, 09:44 AM

@Sapien

I’ve struggled with believing I am worthless and deserve to self harm and be miserable. However, that is NOT TRUE for you (or me) and it is your brain trying to hurt you. It’s not true, you deserve happiness as much as anyone else and you WILL get it. Hold on to that. You’re a lovely person and we all appreciate you

Mountaindewed · Mar 19, 2022, 10:31 AM

I slept pretty good last night. I fell asleep at 6:30 and I woke up at midnight with bad anxiety. My mom was still up. She was just getting ready to go to bed. I asked her for the millionth time what was going on in the news and if it was the end of the world. Then I went back to my room and took a valium melatonin combo. Not sure that was really smart. But I fell right back asleep until 4.

I woke up feeling pretty good at first, but shortly after I woke up my anxiety got pretty bad. I just had a couple Cokes, not anything with a ton of caffeine. I'm wondering if my doctors appointment on Monday is what is really the cause of my anxiety. Often I think I'm anxious for one reason but I'm actually anxious for a completely diffrent reason.

I just took my second valium and I'm hoping it works.

wildflowerchild25 · Mar 19, 2022, 11:06 AM

RS is at his side job and I’m about to lose it.

Possible trigger:

I don’t know how much longer I can avoid self harm. I’ve hit my head several times now. The more dangerous item is still there, I did not tell him about it, I should have and I will when he gets home. I hope it’s not too much longer. I don’t want to call him at work and make him lose money. I really ought to go to the ER I think but I don’t want to be IP again, not at all. I’m just so uncomfortable, I feel like ripping all my skin off. I may or may not have heard music that wasnt there last night but I’m hoping it was just my son’s music playing quietly upstairs, I think it was.

I hate being so dependent on RS right now. I just don’t have anyone else. My one SIL is dealing with a lot of her own ****. I don’t want to bother my other SIL and upset my brother.

He’ll be home soon, he’s usually home by 1pm when he works his side job.

Dammit I hate being so dependent on him right now, it’s not fair to him.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 19, 2022, 11:43 AM

Second degree burns are no joke!

Moose72 · Mar 19, 2022, 01:30 PM

N 3 called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to breakfast- so we did! We went to Bob Evans. After breakfast, we went to the book store. I picked up a magazine with an article about the Queen's jubilee for 70 years as Queen . We had a good time discussing all things royal!

Then I went to the ATM at my credit union to take out some cash for my trip. I mistakenly left my receipt in the machine but the lady that was after me was nice enough to bring it to me.

I think I might take a nap. It's chilly and has been raining all day. Sounds like a plan!

otroo · Mar 19, 2022, 05:11 PM

I have been planning a road trip. It goes to some of the places my wife and I had lived at and others are places we had planned on going to in the future. I got most of my route layed out but I am starting to feel guilty cause my wife will not be there with me. I am avoiding most of the coastal route cause she loved the ocean. I think getting away for some time will really do me good. This trip will take about 20 days and that includes some extra stop time. I'm so confused I know she would want me to go I just don't know. Bipolar check-in #63

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*Beth* · Mar 19, 2022, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Second degree burns are no joke!

Pure aloe vera (ideally a cut open leaf straight from the plant) is a miracle for soothing and to keep your skin from scarring. If you don't have a plant you can buy pure aloe vera (not the kind with anything added). It is not expensive, but it is amazing.

*Beth* · Mar 19, 2022, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo

I have been planning a road trip. It goes to some of the places my wife and I had lived at and others are places we had planned on going to in the future. I got most of my route layed out but I am starting to feel guilty cause my wife will not be there with me. I am avoiding most of the coastal route cause she loved the ocean. I think getting away for some time will really do me good. This trip will take about 20 days and that includes some extra stop time. I'm so confused I know she would want me to go I just don't know.

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What an excellent idea! I firmly believe that there is nothing like a road trip (or any travel) that soothes the soul.

*Beth* · Mar 19, 2022, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

N 3 called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to breakfast- so we did! We went to Bob Evans. After breakfast, we went to the book store. I picked up a magazine with an article about the Queen's jubilee for 70 years as Queen . We had a good time discussing all things royal!

Then I went to the ATM at my credit union to take out some cash for my trip. I mistakenly left my receipt in the machine but the lady that was after me was nice enough to bring it to me.

I think I might take a nap. It's chilly and has been raining all day. Sounds like a plan!

Ooh, I'm so excited about HM's Platinum Jubilee. She is the longest-reining British monarch. The only monarch to reign longer is the French King, Louis XIV. He reigned for 77 years. I hope she makes it through okay. She looks pretty weak sine Prince Philip's death and supposedly she isn't able to walk much, at all.

*Beth* · Mar 19, 2022, 05:24 PM

It's a chilly, cloudy day. It's so silly; I love rain and in theory, like cloudy days. I love the night. But I guess I'm a California girl because when the sun's not out during the day I start feeling anxious and somewhat depressed. The dim light has a strong effect on my brain. I'm just doing my best not to focus on feeling anxious. I'm going to take a shower to soothe and distract myself.

I found out that I'm to be a great-great aunt! I became an aunt when I was age 7; my oldest sister (mother of the baby) at that time was 25. So on it went, one darling niece or nephew after another, then the great nieces or nephews, and now a great-great little nephew on the way! (Sadly, I don't envision being a grandmother any time soon, if at all.)

I'm sorry that some of us are not doing well. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give every single one of you sparkles and sprinkles of loads of happiness. As it is, here's friendship and love~**~**~**~*

Mountaindewed · Mar 19, 2022, 07:15 PM

I'm still just kinda confused and stuff. Not sure if theres just transphobia going on or what. It often seems that way. As they said in season 6 of Drag Race "I feel very attacked" I spent the afternoon on a site called primetimer. I was reading a 617 page thread on commercials people hate. I don't post. Basically all the members are cranky seniors *****ing about medicare and insurance commercials. But they do make some pretty good points about a lot of commercials. Like how in those State Farm ones the people are stealing from their employers when they give Jake all those pizzas and all that meat. And then in the Bounty ones why not just move the lottery ticket out of the way. I don't know. It was a good distraction for a couple hours and got rid of some of my anxiety.

I give Putin 2 days tops before someone offs him or he offs himself. Theres no way out for him.

*Beth* · Mar 19, 2022, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I'm still just kinda confused and stuff. Not sure if theres just transphobia going on or what. It often seems that way. As they said in season 6 of Drag Race "I feel very attacked" I spent the afternoon on a site called primetimer. I was reading a 617 page thread on commercials people hate. I don't post. Basically all the members are cranky seniors *****ing about medicare and insurance commercials. But they do make some pretty good points about a lot of commercials. Like how in those State Farm ones the people are stealing from their employers when they give Jake all those pizzas and all that meat. And then in the Bounty ones why not just move the lottery ticket out of the way. I don't know. It was a good distraction for a couple hours and got rid of some of my anxiety.

I give Putin 2 days tops before someone offs him or he offs himself. Theres no way out for him.

Ugggh, commercials can be so annoying.

Putin has so screwed himself. Good.

Moose72 · Mar 19, 2022, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Ooh, I'm so excited about HM's Platinum Jubilee. She is the longest-reining British monarch. The only monarch to reign longer is the French King, Louis XIV. He reigned for 77 years. I hope she makes it through okay. She looks pretty weak sine Prince Philip's death and supposedly she isn't able to walk much, at all.

Oh I didn't know she was in such ill-health.

Moose72 · Mar 19, 2022, 08:06 PM

I did take that nap. Two glorious hours! Now I've showered and am back in bed under my weighted blanket and comforter wearing winter pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt. To think: two days ago I was sweating with a fan on me!

Mar 19, 2022, 08:15 PM

I'm just sick about my vet bill of one thousand dollars. I couldn't face another pet ordeal on Monday with her grooming so i postponed it two weeks. I still have to bus her morning urine sample in tho and i'm a zombie in the morning. Monday. So sick of having a pet. It's no use trying to get rid of her tho. I've tried three times and each time i change my mind at the last minute. I'm stuck with her. Trapped.

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Bipolar check-in #63

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