Bipolar check-in #64

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird @BethRags Miss Mustachio didn’t get spayed yet, unfortunately their appointments are booked until June so I scheduled one for then. She’s doing well though, I have a scratching post I bought for her being delivered today so hopefully she likes that This is the one I got her, it’s shaped like a cactus

That's so cute. She'll love it!

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Originally Posted by Sapien Sorry I haven't been super supportive of everyone especially lately. Things have been chaotic. Possible trigger: My buddy OD'd on H on Saturday and my drug use spiraled but I'm quitting everything excluding weed as of today I wish I could see what my therapist saw when she said my meds were clearly not perfect. I don't think my drug use is indicative of an episode. I don't think me wanting out of my relationship is indicative of paranoia either. Sending warm hugs all around

Hi Sapien, I am so sorry about your friend. That is a shyte way to lose someone. My precious sister died of an OD 3 years ago. It just hurts and hurts.

I often don't understand my issues with some stuff but not with others.

I managed a sort-of restless sleep, but it helped.

I have an appointment with a new med provider in one week! I see my miserable pdoc tomorrow; I won't say anything to her about a possible good-freakin'-bye. I have my fingers and toes crossed that the new provider will be a good one and I'll never have to see the former creature again. The new one is a man, which could be better. So many women psychiatrists seem like they have something to prove and it becomes a power struggle.

WOW. I can hardly believe that I may never have to see that horror show woman again after tomorrow!!

I'm taking a break from the forum because it seems my whole life is about my bipolar. I'm tired of it. I wish everyone the best and if i ever feel differently i'll be back. I've learned never to say never!

You will be missed greatly. Please take good care of yourself.

I’m feeling weird today. Just odd. It’s been an okay day I guess. I sat in the sun for a while. Then I took mom to a doctor’s appointment one town over. We ran some errands and it’s late in the day. There was a lot of traffic but I can’t really account for all of my time. It’s been a blur to me.

I’m going through some growing pains in my friendship with my ex. I feel weird there as well. Yeah, there’s a reason we are exes. I don’t know.

My sister brought some food by and made a big deal about saying I love you, hello and goodbye to brother and mother but nothing to me. I believe she has mistaken me for somebody who cares. Not being talked to by an abusive personality is not a bad thing in my book. I’ve written her an email but have not decided yet to send it or not. It’s diplomatic in nature but does let her know I’m off her attack list.

I may go to bed early to reset. I don’t know.

Hugs to all.

My doctor finally got back. He was super nice. He said thanks for keeping him up to date and that I can restart my shots. I wasted no time and I've already gotten it. My arm hurts like crazy and I'm hoping the side effects aren't terrible. I was only off it for about 5 weeks so I'm hoping nothing extreme happens since nothing extreme really happened when I was off it. I think my metabloism slowed down but I didn't notice a huge change in my moods or my anxiety. Its just I feel like this is part of who I am and I felt like I was kind of missing my identity without it. I do think the blood level will go up again and I'll need another procedure but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Sorry for the weirdly timed posts that are in between others. I am on MSF probation for my recent outbursts so everything I post has to be approved before it can be posted.

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Originally Posted by whatever2013 I'm taking a break from the forum because it seems my whole life is about my bipolar. I'm tired of it. I wish everyone the best and if i ever feel differently i'll be back. I've learned never to say never!

I feel really bad about this, Jane. You don't have to go into bipolar stuff here, you know. For example, check out Fuzzybear's thread about an animal....

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 I’m feeling weird today. Just odd. It’s been an okay day I guess. I sat in the sun for a while. Then I took mom to a doctor’s appointment one town over. We ran some errands and it’s late in the day. There was a lot of traffic but I can’t really account for all of my time. It’s been a blur to me. I’m going through some growing pains in my friendship with my ex. I feel weird there as well. Yeah, there’s a reason we are exes. I don’t know. My sister brought some food by and made a big deal about saying I love you, hello and goodbye to brother and mother but nothing to me. I believe she has mistaken me for somebody who cares. Not being talked to by an abusive personality is not a bad thing in my book. I’ve written her an email but have not decided yet to send it or not. It’s diplomatic in nature but does let her know I’m off her attack list. I may go to bed early to reset. I don’t know. Hugs to all.

Hi Jennifer I'm sorry about the situation with your sister. No matter what I'm thinking it has to hurt. I support your idea of an email to her.

I hung the flag that says "I stand with Ukraine" on my door. It covers the entire door, which is good because people can see it from the street (my apartment is upstairs). I've seen a few protest signs/peace signs around town; I'd like to see many more. That maniac must be brought to justice.

I think it was weird. I probably would've told my friends about it later but there are weirder things.

I went out for lunch after my mammogram. My waitress was fine. I took half the meal home and ate the rest for dinner. As I was just getting to my car, my waitress came out after me and accused me to dining and dashing! I showed her my receipt and said that I paid already. She just bowed out and went back inside. I've been accused of trying to steal groceries too. I'd paid and had my cart and was just about to go out the door when a woman stopped me and accused me of stealing! I showed her my receipt and she backed off. Ugh. Moral of stories: always keep your receipts!

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed My doctor finally got back. He was super nice. He said thanks for keeping him up to date and that I can restart my shots. I wasted no time and I've already gotten it. My arm hurts like crazy and I'm hoping the side effects aren't terrible. I was only off it for about 5 weeks so I'm hoping nothing extreme happens since nothing extreme really happened when I was off it. I think my metabloism slowed down but I didn't notice a huge change in my moods or my anxiety. Its just I feel like this is part of who I am and I felt like I was kind of missing my identity without it. I do think the blood level will go up again and I'll need another procedure but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Sorry for the weirdly timed posts that are in between others. I am on MSF probation for my recent outbursts so everything I post has to be approved before it can be posted.

On here, I haven't noticed any change in your moods or anxiety over the past 5 weeks. Still - welcome back to your own identity

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Originally Posted by Moose72 I went out for lunch after my mammogram. My waitress was fine. I took half the meal home and ate the rest for dinner. As I was just getting to my car, my waitress came out after me and accused me to dining and dashing! I showed her my receipt and said that I paid already. She just bowed out and went back inside. I've been accused of trying to steal groceries too. I'd paid and had my cart and was just about to go out the door when a woman stopped me and accused me of stealing! I showed her my receipt and she backed off. Ugh. Moral of stories: always keep your receipts!

How upsetting! My God. That happened to my oldest sister once. We 3 sisters had dinner together and the owner accused my sister (who is like the most honest person I've ever known) of stealing food. My other sis and I were outraged! Guy was such an a-hole.

Massive hugs

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So sorry about your Friend. Please take good care of yourself

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I hope to hell your new provider will be a great fit !!

Screw that miserable pos !

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Take care Jane hope to see you soon

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I'm hoping you don't have to see that woman again dear Beth

Hi hi hi everyone

Doing okay I guess. Root canal is for Wednesday so I’d like to fast forward to Thursday ! I am dreading this. I’m a huge wimp when it comes to dental anything. When I was 3 my brother hit me in the face with a hoe and knocked many teeth out. The ER had to pull out the pieces. Legit ptsd ! I also had braces twice. So yeah….

But it will be nice to be able to eat with no pain again.

Hope everyone’s week is starting off on a good note

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Oh ouch 😓 I hope your brother got in trouble for that! That sounds awful. Sending you purple healing vibes for Wednesday.

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Originally Posted by ~Christina Hi hi hi everyone Doing okay I guess. Root canal is for Wednesday so I’d like to fast forward to Thursday ! I am dreading this. I’m a huge wimp when it comes to dental anything. When I was 3 my brother hit me in the face with a hoe and knocked many teeth out. The ER had to pull out the pieces. Legit ptsd ! I also had braces twice. So yeah…. But it will be nice to be able to eat with no pain again. Hope everyone’s week is starting off on a good note Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh, Christina...what an awful trauma.


I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and sending you love

Good Morning!
I'm up a bit early today -- 6AM-- but I did sleep 6 hours, just went to bed too early. I had a good day yesterday. I went out with a friend. He drove 1.5 hours just to come see me. I live in a small town with very little to do, but we somehow spent 5 hours hanging out. It meant a lot to me he came, really lifted my spirits. The only reason he came was because he noticed I've been a bit down and wanted to cheer me up! It's the little things, you know? Just being available for someone in any form can make a world of difference.


Today I don't have much to do. My clinic called and needs the fax number to send the order for my drug screening. I'll have to go through that hassle, but it'll be OK. I know it seems minor, but last time I had a hard time even getting the order to the hospital's lab to get the testing done, and then the results they sent back weren't even complete. They really don't seem to care as long as it gets done... but it irks me when things don't go smoothly. Once I do it though, I'll be good for another three months.

Since restarting the Adderall (and hence why a drug screen is necessary) I do realize how much it really does help me, especially what I always consider was just my anxious, nervous nature. I've been studying a lot of psychopharmacology these days in my free time because I find medicine to be fascinating, specially psych meds. I won't bore anyone with my studies but recently I've been reading chapters on dopamine and dopaminergic areas of the brain and so medicines which affect dopaminergic systems, like antipsychotics and psychostimulants, come up and I find it all very fascinating.


I'm glad the weather is warming up some here. I'm ready to get back into my walking phase. I hate exercise, but I don't mind walking one bit. Put some music on, or have a nice chat with someone and I could walk for hours on end! I'm ready for spring to bring me my magical mood boost with the pretty landscapes and flowers.

I haven't been active here in a bit. Just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am around. I do read most posts here on the check-in board even if I don't post much. I was joking with my mom just the other day about the fact I don't use social media very much and I feel like I keep up and know you guys at least 50x better than anyone on Facebook.


Well, it's 6:30AM now and I just gotta figure out what to do for the next hour and a half before the rest of the world wakes up. Maybe some nice hot chocolate and some relaxing music? We'll see!