Bipolar check-in #64

Did you taper down Klonopin??! If not your going to have loads of rebound anxiety which isn’t a good thing. Take care

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Not yet, she will within the next week or so though

You have had numerous “ types” of therapy work throughout your life and I truly believe we all need to pick and choose what parts from all of it works for us. It’s absolutely not one size fits all.

Maybe you just need to float for a while ??!

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Oh how exciting ! It’s always a joy to open our homes to a new family member

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Well my pain is awful and it’s more the PsA bit than Fibromyalgia. I can’t get comfortable at all. Aleve and Tylenol on board and not any help.

I finally threw up my hands and I just went back to bed earlier. Gus refuses to let me lay down alone. We did get a nap. So a short break.

Tomorrow we have to take the dogs for a nail trim and then to the vet for rabies vaccine. Gus is getting some CBD oil an hour before we go. He’s a year old now but still gets car sick ! Hopefully the CBD oil helps. Otherwise I’ll just have to accept him puking while in the car. Oooffff.

Hope everyone has had a good day and will get soothing sleep tonight

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina You have had numerous “ types” of therapy work throughout your life and I truly believe we all need to pick and choose what parts from all of it works for us. It’s absolutely not one size fits all. Maybe you just need to float for a while ??!

Yeah, I'm wondering if I do. I mean, I have my meds doing as well as possible, I think, and that's most important.

Thank you, sweetie

@BethRags:

It was nice to read about your life experience with therapies. I feel like i understand better why you're so pro-medication. I guess we mostly know each other here as we are in this moment, yet a person's history especially with therapies is so enlightening. Thanks for sharing.

I'm going to start a thread telling about the most whack therapy we've tried, so we can better understand each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina Well my pain is awful and it’s more the PsA bit than Fibromyalgia. I can’t get comfortable at all. Aleve and Tylenol on board and not any help. I finally threw up my hands and I just went back to bed earlier. Gus refuses to let me lay down alone. We did get a nap. So a short break. Tomorrow we have to take the dogs for a nail trim and then to the vet for rabies vaccine. Gus is getting some CBD oil an hour before we go. He’s a year old now but still gets car sick ! Hopefully the CBD oil helps. Otherwise I’ll just have to accept him puking while in the car. Oooffff. Hope everyone has had a good day and will get soothing sleep tonight Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Poor baby, getting car sick feels horrible. I hope the CBD oil works.

I feel terrible about you being in such pain. Does more sleep help at all?

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 @BethRags: It was nice to read about your life experience with therapies. I feel like i understand better why you're so pro-medication. I guess we mostly know each other here as we are in this moment, yet a person's history especially with therapies is so enlightening. Thanks for sharing.

Gosh, thank you! I didn't mean to write a book. Great idea for a thread, Jane!

Decades ago I knew a woman, she was a hippie...long dresses, walked everywhere barefoot. What a character she was. She kept several gems and crystals in her mouth and kind-of swished them around. When she talked, I mean...it sounded like she had rocks in her mouth (obviously), She'd stick out her tongue with all the rocks on it, pink, green, blue, yellow. She believed that the crystals and gems had energies that would keep her mind/body/spirit in balance. What a trip she was.

Yeah, I have some stories about therapies...and the therapists who believed in them. If you don't start that thread, I sure will.

As for medication...I am a firm believer in it, and in biology. I just know how amazing it is when I hit on the "right" med(s), as opposed to how awful I feel unmedicated, or improperly medicated. And I see how effective medication so often is for others.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Like others I am not good at taking meds during the day. I take my whole gabapentin dose at night (1200 mg at 8:30 and 300 mg at 11 PM). This works well for me. Sometimes really well and sometimes just well but it's better than anything else has been.

I'm glad you've mentioned that because I think I need to take my Gaba in either the AM or the PM. I keep forgetting during the afternoon. I can have the darn bottle sitting right on the table and still forget. Then I end up taking it late, anyway.

Maybe cbd would help your pain??
jeff has been taking them to help him get to sleep at night.
I am sorry to hear of people like you suffer with pain. Is

MMJ legal there?
bizi

I do things like that too, put something in a prominent place so I’ll see it. It works for a few days then I don’t “see” it anymore, it’s just part of the background. I tell my doctors straight up that I only do medication am and pm, I can’t remember any other times. Antibiotics are short term so I can manage that, mostly

Beth, This sounds like the starting of an episode.
I am sorry. I hope things get better for you. You are always so kind to us, please be kind to yourself.
look up excoriation disorder.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I am feeling real anxious I am making a big purchase if every thing goes right. Now this is not a manic purchase I have been saving and I got some insurance money. I am just buying this a year early then planned but we were saving up for two bikes so I had enough to buy the one I had planned on getting. I just feel guilty cause I am doing something we had both planned on doing together.
I might just do a flip a coin or something like like left,right,forwards, and backwards. Might be kind of fun to do something like that plan a couple of stops here and there and just have a relaxing time. Maybe get some light weight camping gear and camp a couple of night doing that. I have been looking at campgrounds that had small cabins and tents fully equipped and the prices are pretty good.

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I’ve not been well at all. I think I’m either losing my mind or going into a depression. Everything came crashing down around me yesterday and I didn’t handle it as well as I could. I got some bad news about my health that I’m not ready to talk about yet. There were other things that happened and then the final straw was losing the car keys when I had a social event last night. I never got to that social event.

I had a pleasant Easter despite M not being there. I’ll meet her half way Sunday to visit. We had a good meal and a scrumptious gourmet Strawberry cake. Everything was good really.

I’ve not been taking my medicine as prescribed. I can’t say why. It’s hurting me.

My friend has become a problem. It hurts and it’s all my fault. I invited this friend back into my life with all the hurt that goes along with that. I need to cut ties and heal and move on. Today is rough but I will get back on my feet and be stronger than ever. It just hurts right now. My friend turned out to be fair weather at best. It’s disappointing. I should have known better. I did know better. Shame on me.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day.

I was sooooo depressed the last three days. I hadn’t told RS bc I knew he’d be very upset as I’ve only been out of the hospital for a week but I had to bc my clinician was going to call him. He was indeed very upset and mentioned taking off to Florida to live if I went back to the hospital.

I know he was not serious but this is the second time he’s said something like this. But I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t actually do it. I know how hard it must be to care for me in this state. I told him he’s not alone in feeling that way and lots of caregivers feel the exact same way. So much so that there are many support groups for different types of carers. I know that NAMI used to run one for people caring for others with serious mental illness and they probably still do. RS would never go though. He knows what he said was a little hurtful and apologized immediately.

I know I’m not doing everything I can to help myself either and now I feel guilty about that. I have to admit my (possible) trauma actually did happen But it’s so scary…it will be so painful. See I can’t even write definitely here.

I did at least write about it in my journal which I haven’t been able to do so that’s a start.

I’m feeling better today so far, I’ll probably feel like crap at program but as long as I feel better when I come home it won’t be so bad.

Oh some good news - we got our new mattress yesterday and I did not wake up in unbearable pain today! I stretched my back out before I got out of bed and it did not scream at me when I put my feet on the floor lol. Of course I did not sleep on my back, and I must do that when my wedge pillow comes in (I’m snoring again bc I gained a lot of weight :-/) so hopefully it will continue to feel better. It’s pretty wrecked from those hospital beds.

Could you have gallstones or something? They can flare up and cause pain after eating certain things….

Oops! I think I did too.

Yes it is lousy feeling like the addiction comes before you! Caleb told me the other day that he can go for over an hour without smoking- like at an airport or on an airplane- if he "has to" but that's the thing, isn't it: he doesn't WANT to not smoke every 15 minutes- or sometimes even less than that when chain smoking. Or maybe it's every 10 minutes I don't know- whatever it is it's too often for me. He doesn't care that maybe I don't enjoy being around smoke so often. And when he stays at my place he's going to want to smoke on my balcony which the lease says is strictly prohibited and you can get in trouble if you let your friends smoke on property! Addictions suck. What's worse is the mental addiction. The physical isn't as bad as the mental gymnastics they have to go through to justify smoking to themselves. Usually it's just "I want to so I'm going to. Period!"

Thanks Christina

I didn't taper. I didn't think I had to because it's only been 2 months. But maybe I should just in case.

Sapien? I was thinking of you too.

Beth, I have not found CBT to be of much help either. Does the T offer any DBT? She says she misses seeing you. Wow, no T has said that to me (I suspect they may be schooled that way in this area Or maybe I really am/was a ''horrible'' client.

Yuck. I'm sorry about the mouldy pie.

Our trifle was bought from the supermarket, mixed berry trifle.

(tbh, papa bear is more into cooking than I am. A step witch might have factored into that. )

Sending hugs

My doctor told me gallstones wouldnt appear 3 months after a normal ultrasound. So far the antacid pain med helped with the pain. I still don't really feel like eating much though but I was able to eat some solid foods this morning after 24 hours with just drinking slim fast and iced teas.

I'm staying home and avoiding people this week before my surgery so I don't get COVID. But I had to go out for my clozaril blood draw and to get flea meds so I was gone about an hour and a half I think. While I was gone I got a very special delivery: a box of goodies and fun stuff from the kids at my church. I knew they were making the boxes for people who are sick or disabled but had no idea I'd get one. It's so sweet. I am so surprised and happy. I can't believe I left home just in time to miss the delivery though. What are the chances? Of course I couldn't have visited inside with the delivery people so it works out but it's still funny that I've barely been outside for days and when I did leave I got the best surprise I've had in a long time. I love my church.

I had therapy today and for the first time I felt like she got me and didn't think I was weird. I mentioned struggling with wanting to go IP last week and I said "sometimes I often want to go to the hospital just to be restrained but when I use my weighted blankets I feel better and I was told this is a sensory thing because of my autism". She didn't say anything for a moment and then said "yes it is, do you want to hear my expierence?" And I was like "yeah sure." And she explained to me that when she worked with autistic kids the same kids would become aggresive all the time so they could get restrained and then the staff realized they were just acting out because they were craving the pressure of being restrained. So the staff found other outlets for them. I told her thats excatly what it was like for me as a teenager but I didn't know it was a sensory thing until my transference therapist mentioned it 2 years ago. Then she asked a bit about my autism diagnosis and asked me if I had a weighted vest. I told her I did. She told me I should use it becauase it will really help. Honestly I never wanted to tell her I owned a weighted vest because I thought she'd think I was weird. But I think after the whole IP weighted blanket conversation she's realizing my autism and sensory issues are a bigger thing then she realized. I know when I mentioned the weighted blanket hospital thing to my transference T she said to me "ok, maybe this is a bigger part of things then we orginally thought." But its nice to not feel like a creep to my therapist anymore and to feel understood.

The lady who works at Sonic normally is very crabby or just ignores us and hands us our order. Its gotten to the point where I just order through the app now instead of the drive thru so I don't have to deal with her. Today though she came bouncing out all talkative and cheery and was super nice. People don't change like that overnight. Happy 4/20 everyone!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I'm staying home and avoiding people this week before my surgery so I don't get COVID. But I had to go out for my clozaril blood draw and to get flea meds so I was gone about an hour and a half I think. While I was gone I got a very special delivery: a box of goodies and fun stuff from the kids at my church. I knew they were making the boxes for people who are sick or disabled but had no idea I'd get one. It's so sweet. I am so surprised and happy. I can't believe I left home just in time to miss the delivery though. What are the chances? Of course I couldn't have visited inside with the delivery people so it works out but it's still funny that I've barely been outside for days and when I did leave I got the best surprise I've had in a long time. I love my church.

TeeHee, I have to say that I'm not fully awake yet and as I read your second sentence the image in my mind was that you were getting your blood draw and getting flea meds at the same time. I was going to say, "Oh, no! How terrible that you have fleas!".....I was thinking of the sand fleas some beaches here have, they're terrible and bite people's ankles...and oh, my. Nevermind

The care box sounds wonderful! What a very sweet and special surprise.