Bipolar check-in #65

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour We're waiting to set off for home. I had typed up something earlier and thought I submitted, but maybe it didn't go through. Or maybe it was removed. It was a rough story. Doesn't matter either way. I protected my people. Birds.

No, apparently it didn't go through. I'm sorry. I hope you're okay, and I'm glad your people the birds are okay.

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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 I saw opthalmologist today for glaucoma exam. I dont have it! i was just born with big ol optic nerves!

That is GREAT news!!

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I can't type without too many mistakes yet nad I am not handling that well. I just want to be able to communicate somehow.Recovery from this surgery is harder than most other surgeries I've had. The pain is minimal but the rest is hard. And I've not made too many mistakes so I'm stopping here. Anyone ever had a sore throat from anesthesia that would not stop?

I have had a sore throat from anesthesia (it's actually from the breathing tube, I think), but it didn't last for more than 2 days.

I'm counting the hours until I see my therapist on Tuesday. In fact, I'm going to leave a message & ask the (dear) receptionist to put me in if there are any cancellations on Monday. About 3 years into therapy...I thought I could easily go to to 2 - or even 1 - session per month, down from two sessions a week. Ha, foolish me.

The whole mess with that damn med provider has set off all sorts of psychological problems. David was here, but he left kind-of early and anyway I don't talk much with him about this stuff. I don't know what I'd do without this forum, this board, this wonderful group.

Sleep is an effed-up mess, I have nothing else to take. All the stuff I have, none of it is working anymore and anyway, I'm out of ZzzQuil and melatonin. The various AP's don't even help me sleep unless I take a dose that's high enough to ruin my thinking for the next day, all day (and of course, I'll finally wake up 2 hours before bedtime ). I guess I'll take Tylenol PM tonight, I doubt it'll do much, if anything, but I just don't know what else to do.

My mind is so screwed up at this time that I'm even doing mindfulness and CBT, haha. Definitely working with my breathing. I hear on the radio Whoopeee! It's the week-end! - and all I can think is Oh, God. "Week-end" means totally on my own. How am I supposed to make it through to the other side of the week-end?

Okay. Gotta stop thinking so much. I can turn a baseball game on tomorrow afternoon, baseball can be calming, centering.

I'm in a group for people who own cats with diabetes and it's a terrific group in many ways, loads of information that vets don't even begin to get into. But there's a very, very, very rigid system of belief on what to feed a diabetic cat. And for the most part, I agree with the feeding guidelines. But what I've noticed tends to happen is that you get a large group of middle/upper middle class women and a few men, all these obviously well-off people who can afford things like automatic feeders that work on a microchip the cat wears on its collar. So if someone has more than 1 cat, no other cat gets into the food of the cat who "owns" a specific feeder. Stuff like that.

Well, I live in a 1 bedroom apartment and own 5 cats. In the best ways I can possibly arrange, the apartment is set up to be nice specifically for the cats. But they are all rescues, various backgrounds, ages and dietary needs, and of course, Sidney has diabetes. One woman in the group ragged on me for feeding my cats both kibble and wet food, because she (and all the others that stay in the group because they're all alike) believe that you are harming your diabetic cat if you feed it dry food. I understand about the protein/carbs importance, so I do feed Sid a lot of wet food. But I have to leave kibble out at night or they will all keep me awake and a couple of them, if they can't "graze" they'll actually throw up from having an empty stomach.

Anyway, I felt like shyte when that woman posted to me about the food. God, I love Sidney with my life. I'm doing the best I can. I'm so sorry for her that she has an owner with mental illness who can't risk losing any more sleep than she already is losing. I felt like I was just coming apart when I read what that woman posted to me. I'm hurting so much already, and so scared.

Oh, wow. I have got to calm myself down. I'm upset because I have to buy sandals this week, spend money on sandals, when I would rather buy boots- no, I'd mostly like to go barefoot, altogether, which is what I feel best doing.

Well, good-night everybody. Stay golden. Loads of love, all around

Beth, I understand about the feeding cats thing. I had 2 cats who were supposed to be on wildly different diets and the support groups for both acted like i was killing each of them by not using the recommenced food. I spent literally hours in the pet store finding meds that suited both of their needs plus my own refusal to feed them grains and that I could afford. I eventually had a bunch of foods I knew were safe fore both but even then they were worried I'd left a kidney failure cat fee feed dry food. The truth was that she was 21 and had no teeth so only the other cat ate the dry stuff. Even my vet didn't think I could find a diet to suit both of them and suggested supervised eating in different rooms. It was obviously someone who didn't live in a small one bedroom apartment.

I'm fixing errors are possible but please forgive any I miss. Typing and proofing is tedious and that's why I'm not posting much.

The first thing I said when I woke up from my first surgery was that my throat hurt. The anthesteolgist said it was from the breathing tube. It lasted 2 days and was pretty bad. I needed a lot of cough drops. When I had my hysterectomy my throat didn't hurt my voice was just hoarse. I don't know. Maybe it has to do with what area you get the surgery on.

I’m worried it might be too hard on my liver. I read also that it very rarely has caused liver toxicity and that worried me because of the depakote. However I also read that there’s a study saying the opposite…so who knows!

I’d just turned 30, was playing sport regularly, was healthy with no diabetes or blood pressure problems or any other problems except mental health of course and ended up in hospital with life threatening medical issues that I didn’t have any risk factors for. I will have to be treated for this for the rest of my life and it can come back at any time and can kill me. Age and weight etc has nothing to do with it. Sometimes things just happen. A friend of mines sister died from lung cancer in her 40s and she’d never smoked a cigarette in her life. We can just be (very) unlucky.

I didn't sleep too good last night. I took a long afternoon nap after being up since 11:30 the night before. Then I woke up at 4:45 and I was just frustrated with the blood work results so I took my normal night meds and normal amount of melatonin and got back to sleep from 5:30 until 9:30. But so I did technically sleep "good" if I slept from 2:30 until 9:30 I just ****ed up my sleep schedule. My mom is being pretty dismissive today about my concerns about my health. She is just ornery and really frustrated that she can't lose weight even though she sometimes goes on walks. She needs to track her calories and measure out her food though but any suggestion by me will just get shot down and she'll get defensive. But she keeps getting angry that she can't lose weight yet doesn't really do anything to work on it. Anyways I am zapped of energy today most likely just from sleeping poorly. I did get done most of my chores when I had the energy around 5:30. I still have to do laundry but its only a couple small loads.

Not too good 😅 lots of hissing from both of them. I’m hoping they adjust to each-other in a few weeks.

I was busy/distracted on my laptop for about 30 minutes then I realized Maybelle and Mustachio were sitting a foot away from eachother just relaxed the entire time and not hissing or growling for the first time since Maybelle got here

I only had skimming in me as I didn't get one minute of sleep on the red eye flight. I was drifting off for minutes at a time during the drive from Munich to CZ. We did decide to stop at a pension a little ways into CZ. We visited my husband's brother in Munich upon arrival. He looked much better than he had when my s-i-l visited him. We were glad! I told Hubby that he appears to have a bad case of akathisia. I know he takes an antipsychotic.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Not too good 😅 lots of hissing from both of them. I’m hoping they adjust to each-other in a few weeks.

They will. Have you tried catnip? Like, put a bit of catnip on each cat and let them sniff each other?

I haven't tried catnip,I have a catnip banana toy that Maybelle seems to like but I am ordering some actual loose catnip today and hopefully that will help somewhat

Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I got my blood test results back already. I just went at 9 this morning. And as I suspected I need another phlebotomy procedure. I'm not very happy. My mom says this one shouldn't be as bad since I know what to expect now. Its just frustrating that this dumb hematricrit level won't permenantly stay down. I've only been back on my injections for 4 weeks and I've been super careful about watching my calories and watching my weight and my sleep hasn't been that bad either. Its just frustrating at age 29 to have this stuff going on. I don't have a date yet for the procedure, the office has to call. I also see my kidney doctor on Monday. I'm not sure what he'll want. Hopefully not another 24 hour urine collection. Thats a hassle. These whole health issues are a hassle. Again, I'm only 29 with no weight issues or diabetes or anything. I keep thinking of what sick kids are going through who miss their entire childhood because of illnesses.

Ugggh, I'm sorry, Md. Unneeded stress. I hope you don't have to do the urine collection, too. Like you say, it is a hassle.

This is a pic of her from yesterday

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Beth, I understand about the feeding cats thing. I had 2 cats who were supposed to be on wildly different diets and the support groups for both acted like i was killing each of them by not using the recommenced food. I spent literally hours in the pet store finding meds that suited both of their needs plus my own refusal to feed them grains and that I could afford. I eventually had a bunch of foods I knew were safe fore both but even then they were worried I'd left a kidney failure cat fee feed dry food. The truth was that she was 21 and had no teeth so only the other cat ate the dry stuff. Even my vet didn't think I could find a diet to suit both of them and suggested supervised eating in different rooms. It was obviously someone who didn't live in a small one bedroom apartment. I'm fixing errors are possible but please forgive any I miss. Typing and proofing is tedious and that's why I'm not posting much.

Ohh, thank you Rainbow for taking such effort to post to me about your own experience with feeding cats. It helps me so much. My vet, who I actually trust quite well, has feeding ideas that are pretty different from the feline diabetes group ideas. I just wish the group wasn't so harsh and critical. It scares people away, I think.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour I only had skimming in me as I didn't get one minute of sleep on the red eye flight. I was drifting off for minutes at a time during the drive from Munich to CZ. We did decide to stop at a pension a little ways into CZ. We visited my husband's brother in Munich upon arrival. He looked much better than he had when my s-i-l visited him. We were glad! I told Hubby that he appears to have a bad case of akathisia. I know he takes an antipsychotic.

You're home already?! That was fast! Oh, I hope you are having a terrific nap.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird I haven't tried catnip,I have a catnip banana toy that Maybelle seems to like but I am ordering some actual loose catnip today and hopefully that will help somewhat Sent from my M8L using Tapatalk

From your second post it sounds like they are getting used to each other just fine. Maybe rub the catnip banana on one, then on the other so the scent is on them?

I think a lot of “support groups” are like that unfortunately. Mommy groups are the WORST. SO judgmental. I belonged to a pregnancy group when I was pregnant for about a month and quit when a woman compared eating fish to actively trying to kill your baby (in response to someone saying she ate fish once in awhile during pregnancy). I’m glad this support forum is actually supportive.

I was still super amped this morning but going to the bridal shower helped, the people sapped my energy, which I usually hate when I’m normal but it was good for me. I’m only a little amped now lol. I was able to stop myself from buying a bunch of short sleeve tunic tops. No need. Just want.

I got slightly sunburned at the shower, I mean who thinks to put on sunscreen on April 30th? But the sun was shining directly on me so I guess I should have prepared. I was like why does my face feel all scratched? Well that’s why!

Ugh I ate so much at the shower, I was hoping to do better today but alas, tomorrow’s another day. Maybe we’ll barbecue tomorrow, it’s still going to be 70 just cloudy. Going to go for a walk somewhere and then to the nursery to get the plants!

Oh my gosh, yes, my friend told me how bad some people are in parent groups. She ended up quitting because she felt like she was failing as a mum because her son wouldnt sleep through the night and all the other mums were like “oh mine is perfect, he/she sleeps from 8pm until 6am”

Thankfully this forum is so supportive, I’ve never come across one like this before! It’s lovely!!

Oh my gosh, Beth you’ve got so much on your plate.
You’re doing the best you can for your kitty’s so please don’t let them make you think otherwise!
Im a member of some raw feed groups/follow people on Instagram (even though I feed my dog kibble). Honestly sometimes they react as if I’m purposely poisoning my dog or something!

And I’m sorry going down in the therapy frequency didn’t work, but it’s just like your physical health. If you find yourself getting sick physically for whatever reason, you attend to your healthcare more, make more appointments and you look after yourself. You need to make sure you’re doing that for your mental health, make more appointments, be kind to yourself and look after yourself
Sending lots of love and hugs

Sending loads of love and hugs your way, @BeyondtheRainbow
I just want to say I hope you’re doing as well as possible. Try to be patient and don’t rush yourself. It will take as long as it takes to recover!
Also, I had a sore throat/was hoarse after anaesthesia but it only lasted a couple of days. When I had my wisdom teeth out (they were impacted) they had to use a nasal tube and my nose bled/hurt for a good few days on and off.

I hope your throat settles down. It’s not unusual for it to be sore for a few days after because it’s undergone a trauma (sticking a tube down there).
Loads of hugs

That’s great progress! hopefully it will continue!!