Bipolar check-in # 66

I just figured out something kinda cool. On the main bipolar page next to each post's description is the number of posts in the thread. When you click on the number it lists the names on of everybody who's posted and how many posts they've contributed to that thread. I just thought that was neat.

Wednesday it's going to be 100° with a realfeel of 109°! That's very hot for Michigan!

Wow! That is hot for Michigan!

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Originally Posted by Moose72 You can what-if things only so far. Trying to guess what others will do tends to spiral me down into a confused place and one that is usually not based in reality. It confuses the people who you are guessing about, too.

There's a book, it has the best title: What You Think of Me is None of My Business.

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Originally Posted by Moose72 Wednesday it's going to be 100° with a realfeel of 109°! That's very hot for Michigan!

Ohhh, that is mean, rotten, and vicious!

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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 My friend since grade school died. I won’t go into detail but she had a drinking issue. She was36. My other friend is most likely experiencing a miscarriage right now. I’m done with today.

I am so, so sorry about the loss of your friend. My closest friend was like a sister to me. We had met when we were 5 and grew up next door to each other. She was a wonderful wife and mom...then her husband left her (affair) and she fell apart. She was being treated for a minor cardiac problem, but was doing meth (no one knew, she would have been seriously the last person on earth I would think of to do meth). The meth was too much for her heart, she had a heart attack and died after a meth binge. We were both 58. A long, long friendship that ended sooo sadly.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ....

I won't be surprised if it's your gallbladder. Yes, high-fat and fried foods are sure to set off a touchy gallbladder's pain and nausea.

LGBTQ news...do you mean those dipsh-its who were arrested at the Pride festival? They make me wanna puke on their shoes.

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Originally Posted by Nammu .....if I put it out of commission then they’d have to get a different one.....

I love your thinking

I’ve lost four people in my life this past six months. Praises be that my friends not miscarrying! The baby is alive and ok.

That and the Proud Boys who stormed Drag Queen Story Hour in Califorinia last Saturday and were hurdling slurs and stuff.

I'm hopelessly lost on here. Trying to regroup and get everything together for my son. He has decided to try and be self employed until he finds what he's looking for. I hate that I have to use a credit card to pay his bills. At least I can. If he has to he may go back for his master's degree.

Oh, Lord, I am so exhausted, I wish I could just go to sleep, but David is coming over to take a shower...and he's late, as always. I'm always early, he's always late. What are ya gonna do.

I decided to go to the appointment with Dr. B. For one thing, I appreciated that he bothered to call and find out how I am/why I cancelled. He does 90 minute sessions, so I really had an opportunity to go over everything. So much more than I could even write out here. He is an excellent therapist. Asks the right questions, gives wise answers - and while he's very warm and caring, definitely allows me my own space and encouragement to strengthen myself, not depend upon him.

His objectivity about the situation with Mary was commendable. He didn't "involve" himself in it (although I noticed a few flickers in his eyes about certain things that must have surprised him). He did not defend Mary, nor did he trash-talk her. I did not want either of those things to happen. One of the most painful parts of this is that I still care about Mary, and still feel protective of her - which is something that, in itself, needs to be explored.

Interestingly, Dr. B. is also considering the possibility that Mary's husband (or another family member) expressed discomfort about the gifts and she felt pressured. The message she left was so very much unlike her, not her nature - especially not after she expressed such appreciation for the bells I left for her (which is typical of her).

We discussed the concept of mitzvah, which I explained to Dr. B. The highest form of performing a mitzvah, to give in the spirit of God - is to give anonymously, never to gloat (or even mention) about the giving. That is an extremely powerful concept for me.

So the session was productive. He invited me to come in again on Thursday or Friday; hopefully, I'll be able to have 4 more sessions with him before he leaves the clinic.

See you tomorrow, dear ones

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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 I’ve lost four people in my life this past six months. Praises be that my friends not miscarrying! The baby is alive and ok.

Great news! I'm so glad. Having a miscarriage is a terrible, cruel experience.

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour Hi Beth. Ice in drinks isn't common here, either. Nor in Czech Republic, but in CZ they do often bring ice just for "foreigners". It's supposed to reach 95 F up where we're going next, but luckily at that accommodation we'll have a pool to float in, like Jennifer enjoys. I'm ready to head further north. Today we're visiting a French national museum of wine that's in an amazing Frank Gehry building. Then tomortow we'll stop in the city of Cognac (yes, that Cognac) en route to the next accommodation. The brand of the shampoo and hair mask I mentioned a few days back is Klorane.

Yes - the "ice for foreigners" - haha, I've experienced that a few times

Klorane! I will look into it - I used to use that line of hair care when my daughter was a wee thing. I loved it. The store where I bought it closed and I had forgotten about the line.

Frank Gehry's architecture is extraordinary in the way that the Spanish architect Gaudi's is. In the city that is my hometown there are (too) many Frank Lloyd Wright homes. Gah, that style is so depressing to me. Many people love it. I don't know why that popped into my mind, except that I grew up hearing Ooooh, so-and-so lives in a Frank Lloyd Wright home and I'd think yuck.

I hope you're doing well and that the floating was absolutely lovely!

Glad to hear the baby's OK! Your friend is doing well too, I take it? Whatever it was wasn't too drastic?

I've been in the same boat as far as lost friends goes. I had a period where people were dropping of unnatural causes once a month for about 5 months. Definitely sucks. Not a pleasant time in my life.

How are you feeling now? I've felt the same way. My username sums it up.

I've got a lot of thoughts going through my head tonight. Thoughts I wish would stop, but thoughts I have to work through. The two people who are keeping me anchored to this town are in serious trouble, medically. My mother has stage 4 cancer. Two year prognosis. Long time in cancer terms, but still a terminal diagnosis. The other one, a close friend, is experiencing kidney failure. He has to go through what you would expect, twice weekly dialysis. My father, a rather unpleasant individual, has appointed himself caregiver and caretaker to my mother, which wouldn't be so bad if he didn't keep everyone in her life from seeing her. I can't see her, but he will definitely come to see me to pontificate on my "sins." Like how I'm supposedly leeching him dry, by NOT asking him for money, but accepting it when it's offered (which is never enough for what I need). Taking advantage of him, by needing help in an "inconvenient" way. The list is endless.

I will add that I can contact her by phone, but I'm apparently not allowed to come to the house (for reasons I legitimately don't know).

Well, barring any drastic "Come to Jesus" moment, the second my mother passes, I'm gone. I'll leave him to sit in his large house. Alone. No one to visit him. Raging and despairing at all the people who left him. It's sad, but he brought it on himself. He turned on EVERYONE he was friendly with for petty reasons, pushing everyone away. My 1/2 brother (his son, who died 8 months ago) got a vasectomy to avoid passing on his genes. I'm hesitant to have kids because of faulty genes (50-50 shot of giving my child early cancer). If I did have a wife and kids, I don't I'd ever introduce them to my dad. Mom, sure, but with my dad's proverbial stranglehold...

The REALLY sad part? I don't think he'll ever realize what he's done wrong. It just won't process. He'll spend his days railing at the injustice of it all and not reflect on his part in it.

Sorry to hear that! It is not easy to loose friends!

I think that that book would be good for me, if it wasn't for that I have just come to that conclusion: What others think of me is their perspective and not necessarily mine! WOW

I am so happy on your behalf, Beth! You deserved this!

Sorry to hear about all this. My father died of cancer! I know how much the grief costs to loose a parent to that illness.

Do what you think is best for your general MI with regard to your father after your mother is gone. Some people never change or understand ...

So it is the day before vacation.

Yesterday I felt depressed about some trifles. The down-mood followed me into this morning. But for now I am able to look forward to the vacation, at last.


I'll bring my

Hope to see you now and then!

May you all have as good as possible lives (according to your lives circumstances).

I think I’ve done tremendously well with the passing of my brother and with finding out that the best friend that I cared for deeply had cat fished me. I figured this out the day of brother’s service. It was tough. I don’t feel foolish…more that someone has taken advantage of my kindness. I’ll be more careful in future.

I love my mom. I like my mom. She is also a dear friend. Having said that, dealing with the chaos of an 87 year old incontinent, moderate stage dementia sufferer is like herding cats. She has a mind of her own. I’m trying to handle the estate and she is making it difficult. I know she doesn’t mean to. I refuse to get stressed. I’m using extreme self care and other measures to offset the chaos.

I wasn’t able to float today due to responsibilities. I definitely will tomorrow.

I came back from Florida with a bad cold or COVID. I’ll get a test kit while I’m out. It’s manageable whatever it is. I’ve been vaccinated and boosted.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

I’m glad it went well. That’s amazing that you can get in. 4 more times! Congratulations

@*Beth* I'm so glad that your appointment with Dr B went well and that you have a few more left!