Bipolar check-in #68

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots I hardly got out of bed yesterday. Been staying in bed so far today except to put some music on and type this then it's back to laying down because it hurts less.

I'm sending you love and a big hug, Boots.

I am heartbroken about Brittney Griner receiving the nine year sentence from the Russian court. The action is bogus; a political game. Brittney is such a kind person, so open and sweet-natured. So gifted. The whole thing makes me sick. I hope & pray that the American government steps up and does this nation proud by taken action on Brittney's behalf.

Nah. I mean I am depressed, but it's physical pain that kept me in bed yesterdy/today. I took some acetaminophen and I can walk without crying so I guess I'll be ok for a few hours. No opioids and no plans on using

I went in to group today but left at 12:30 and finished the day out virtually. I was just so sleepy, I knew I would probably fall asleep in group and that’s rude. But I did fall asleep even online with my camera off. I don’t know why I was so tired. I slept from 10pm to 8am with no interruptions. And I only took 25mg of seroquel to minimize the restless legs. So idk.

Funny story…turn out my insurance got canceled back in MAY but they never gave notice so I’ve been getting all sorts of things pre approved and they’ve said they would cover and turns out surprise! They will not. Including my hospital stay and my son’s surgery. I was freaking out but the group was able to calm me down. One guy was super nice and basically said I’ve gotten through everything else, some really ****** situations that not everyone could get through, and this is just money. Yeah it’s a lot but you can’t squeeze blood from a stone so they’ll get what they get when they get it. I know that in NJ at least as long as you make some sort of payment every month they can’t send you to collections.

It’s super hot here as well, with super hot being the forecast for the foreseeable future. I love the summer but once it’s over 90 degrees even I would like to be a penguin in Antarctica!

So I’m feeling better and glad I shared. The terror from the episode is still fresh in my mind. But that’s why I did share, so I don’t get like that again.

My worse black out mania was due to antidepressants! So again for me medicated hell. But a lot of mania does come with blackouts, so that’s a good point. Un medicated mania for me is pretty pleasant until suddenly it isn’t and I’m psychotic. But those are a prelude to the crash.

Cute dogs.
how did your session go with richard?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I went out again this morning. No paranoia or anxiety. My doctor said it takes a couple weeks for the prestiq to take its full effect so it seems to be working pretty well. My moods have been fine today. I did go back to the full dose of my stomach med which has been helping a lot as well. My sister got her c section date scheduled for the middle of October. So my nephews will be staying with us for about 5 days. I am excited. October has always been my favorite month since I was a kid but its been a pretty significant month recently since I had my top surgery in October 2020 and my hystrectomy last October and my first nephew was born in October and now my 3rd niece or nephew will be born in October too.

October is such a nice month. My son's birthday is 10/3, my nephew's birthday is 10/11 and my daughter was conceived on 10/11 . And then there's Halloween.

For me I assume it's some kind of neurological glitch that is related to the bipolar. I did not sleep even as a newborn and I've been sleepwalking since childhood as well. It can be a side effect of some meds so my pdoc likes to know when I'm doing it but it doesn't really matter what I'm taking.

I don't know if I do it more when in any mood state. That would be interesting to pay attention to.


I also want to talk to my therapist about the dissociation Beth mentions. Nobody has ever mentioned that as part of it but I'm not sure I've ever talked to him about sleepwalking unless it just has happened to occur the night before I saw him and I was laughing about it. I try not to get upset by it because I can't control it so I might as well laugh when I can. (This is definitely not always and I also would never laugh at someone else's experience, just it helps me cope).

I had a therapy session this afternoon, but left early to stop by the pharmacy. That went quickly, so I stopped by the grocery store. When will I learn? It was 105 degrees outside and by the time I got to the clinic I felt so overheated I felt sick. Fortunately, it was very cool in there so I felt better pretty quickly.

I'm sorry I keep complaining about the heat, thanks for listening to me. I guess because we had no more than 24 hours of rain total in the winter this summer's heat feels atrocious.

Time to do kitty dinner and take care of Sidney's medical things. Tonight will be my first lithium dose, so I hope it gives me some sedation. Falling asleep before 1 a.m. would be an amazing event, instead of lying in bed for hours.

Geez, I'm full of complaints . Actually, the day went well - aside from the heat.

Oh! I have a box of home-grown peaches. OMG, they are divine. I can smell them around my apartment. David's neighbor gave us the peaches. She moved into her house here in town a couple of years ago and ironically, she had written two of the most memorable memoirs I've ever read - Across a Hundred Mountains and The Distance Between Us. One of these days I'm going to be assertive and ask her to sign my books. She's super friendly.

~*~Sweet peaches all around~*~

Been an annoying day since then! Plan C said no almost immediately. Plan B couldn't meet with me at the scheduled time. Logistics did not work in this manager's favor as three product vendors descended on her at the same time. I meet her for Take 2 tomorrow. Plan A? I'm starting to get genuinely angry at their onboarding practices. Basically put, they are too lazy to do their part of some of the forms and want ME to get someone I know to do it for THEM! If it's not that, it's them actually having me fill in my own background check. Apparently, some i wasn't dotted or t crossed and they want me to drag this person back in to redo that part. At least it's virtual, but that's been a fat lot of good!



It's a perfect job for me, but if they continue inventing hoops for me to jump through, it might be worth it to jump ship. Which would be a pity.

Ugh, I thought I was doing a lot better today then too many things happened (nothing in particular, just too much piled together) and I'm starting to unravel again. I could finally turn the a/c off and open the windows, with the fans on. Feeling paranoid plus things are sliding around. Moving too fast, maybe. Welll...90 minutes until I will take the lithium. Med dude said that lithium works quickly. Did he mean "quickly" as in one dose? or "quickly" as in 2 days? I'm not sure. If I could just really sleep tonight. I ache all over.

Beth can you take generic benadryl? It helps a lot of folks get to sleep.
1-2, 25-50mg pills.
Just a suggestion.
sorry sleep is so hard. I take klonipin to sleep and it usually holds me a good 8 hours. I really cut back my fluid intake this evening, stopped at 7pm to try to limit the number of times that I wake up to go to the bathroom.
sorry you ache all over.
do you know why?
bizi

Hi @*Beth*.

"When combined with lithium, NSAIDs can increase lithium levels in the blood resulting in an increased risk for serious adverse effects like confusion, tremor, slurred speech, and vomiting."
- From NAMI website.

I think Lithium working "quickly" might rather mean in 2 weeks, and not 2 days. The only meds I ever found worked in as little as 2 days were antipsychotics and benzos. And for me, sometimes antidepressants would already start a mood switch from depression to hypomania, mania or mixed states. In my youth, two weeks would seem like a lifetime. Now, it's like the flash of a lightning bolt.

From drugs.com:

"A reduction in manic symptoms should be noticed within 5 to 7 days [on Lithium] but the full therapeutic effect may require 10 to 21 days."

I've decided to stay in bed most of the day to try to ease a physical ailment that has gotten a bit out of control. Hubby contacted our friend, at my request, to skip today. She was suppose to help us with packing again, but I just can't have anyone in the house today, or preferably this weekend, either.

My sister emailed me to say that our brother has a form of pneumonia and his heart issue has flared up a bit. It is worrying and I can't help but think he has major psychological stressors that exacerbate it. Sadly, I think he's influenced by (basically a victim of) some far-right crap on the internet that promotes hate and anger and misinformation. It's a hard evil to fight, unfortunately.

Apparently my nephew is feeling unwell again after only a few days home from long stays in the psych hospital. He can't yet join an IOP because his COBRA hasn't kicked in. He lost his health insurance because his past employer fired him for being out too long/much. In other words, fired for being sick. COBRA is astronomically expensive. It's just a cold-hearted greedy medical healthcare system Americans deal with. Another evil that Americans live with despite there being a kinder gentler option for all. How sad many blindly inflict it all on themselves and fellow citizens. Ignorance and misinformation/propaganda from the "high powers" of the country reinforces it.
I feel so sad that I've lost my home. I don't want to lose more of my family.

@Soupe du jour

An another rocky night. I’m not sure I can make it without sleep meds.

Hi Jennifer, congrats with your new avatar! I am not so concerned about my shape, but want to improve my physical health because it all hangs together, physical and mental health. I have decided to write down if I really do my preferred physical activities, my morning gym at the floor at home every morning, my 2 1/2 mile jogging every morning, my once a week hiking and my once a week group-gym. I will count my relaxation exercises as well.

I will do it for one month at first. That will be into September 5th. If something needs to be improved I will try to do that for the next month and look at the measures at October 5th. Around October/November my SAD will kick in. My only goal for that period until around March 2023 is to try to continue to use the routines I now use the next to monts to establish.

Good luck with you trying to have a better shape!

Hi to all, I am just in to say hi. As you know I was on a trip to Turkiet (Turkey) for one week, then caught Covid and became tired. I have just come home from a rather busy trip around in England, so I am really very tired now.

I have decided to make it my highest priority to do some kind of physical exercise every day combined with relaxation exercises afterward. I will write down how I'm doing with the exercises in the following two months and hope to, that way, be prepared for October/November when my SAD as usual sets in. If I am able to do that, much will be won for the winter season.

I cannot promise to come into the forum often, so please don't be afraid if I don't show up (I don't have the energy to read through all the posts).

I wish all of you to live as well as possible with whatever conditions that are yours!

Lithium was awesome for me. Made me feel normal for the first time in my life. Was on 1500mg (750am 750pm). Had to come off it because it messed around with another condition I have (physical one). Makes you crazy thirsty - especially in the heat!

Lithium didn't work for me. It made me very anxious and thirsty. I had to come off it for health reasons after 7 years of being on it. My doctor switched me to lamictal and I havent had much of an issue with it.

It works when it gets to your therapeutic level - whatever that is for you. There’s a therapeutic range but everyone is different. My therapeutic level was 1 which is on the high side but some people work at sub therapeutic levels and it can take days to a week or so I think of regular dosing to get to a steady level. It doesn’t take too long from memory to notice changes.

I just did a quick google and found this “The therapeutic range for prophylaxis is between 0.6–0.8 mmol/L and in acute treatment is 0.8–1.2 mmol/L.”

But I have heard of people responding well at 0.3 so it wouldn’t take long to reach that level.

I hope it works well for you and quickly!

My tummy has been hurting for days. Anxiety!?? Idk. I keep feeling like crap this week.

I saw the prettiest haircut and color last night. The model’s hair was black but for the front strands which were a beautiful shade of violet and curled around her face. It brought out her green eyes which I have. I was drawn to it. It’s the farthest thing from my image though. Back when I was a practicing CPA/MBA, my husband at the time surprised me with a brand new red Camaro. I drove it for a few days and thoroughly enjoyed it but it didn’t “fit” my image. We returned the car. I’d love to let go and get that hair style. Could be I care too much about sticking out in a crowd or about what people might think. Life is short though. Why not? It may give me a new lease on life.

I’m having a fairly good day. I slept in until 9 and skipped the pool because I have much housework to do. I figured I’d do a marathon cleaning session today and then I’d enjoy the pool daily starting tomorrow until it closes.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Finally made it to my dollar store interview. What a crap job! Retail is known for being a crap job anyway, but this one takes the cake. Part time with anywhere from 5-20 hours.. Management having to beg, steal or borrow to get basic staffing. No benefits of any kind. Don't care about the 401k, but definitely care about health insurance! The only plus at this point is that it's in my hometown and about a 20 minute walk from my home. I find out next week on that one.

The phone sales onboarding people are really starting to piss me off! They still want me to do their paperwork for them, but now they want to paint me as a drug user if I can't physically get to the building two towns over that they designated for drug tests. I've done this crap before. It's peeing in a cup or possibly a blood draw. Something any clinic can do. There are three clinics in my hometown plus the local health department. I mean, any reason I couldn't get one of those done?

For the added kick in the head, I've been waiting a week for money to come my way. Gas money, in part. So, until that comes through, I'm stuck in town. I'll nap (or just generally relax) for an hour and I'll see about any (hopefully good) updates.

This emoji might just be the story of my life.

Sadly, she picked the wrong place to go. It's a very excessive sentence, but ya gotta be smart about where you're going. Being good natured is not enough in that case.

If I was the one caught, Secretary Blinken wouldn't be blinking much in my direction, or at least not be holding a press conference about me. But then again, who the heck am I?