Bipolar check-in #68

An another rocky night. I’m not sure I can make it without sleep meds.

Hi Jennifer, congrats with your new avatar! I am not so concerned about my shape, but want to improve my physical health because it all hangs together, physical and mental health. I have decided to write down if I really do my preferred physical activities, my morning gym at the floor at home every morning, my 2 1/2 mile jogging every morning, my once a week hiking and my once a week group-gym. I will count my relaxation exercises as well.

I will do it for one month at first. That will be into September 5th. If something needs to be improved I will try to do that for the next month and look at the measures at October 5th. Around October/November my SAD will kick in. My only goal for that period until around March 2023 is to try to continue to use the routines I now use the next to monts to establish.

Good luck with you trying to have a better shape!

Hi to all, I am just in to say hi. As you know I was on a trip to Turkiet (Turkey) for one week, then caught Covid and became tired. I have just come home from a rather busy trip around in England, so I am really very tired now.

I have decided to make it my highest priority to do some kind of physical exercise every day combined with relaxation exercises afterward. I will write down how I'm doing with the exercises in the following two months and hope to, that way, be prepared for October/November when my SAD as usual sets in. If I am able to do that, much will be won for the winter season.

I cannot promise to come into the forum often, so please don't be afraid if I don't show up (I don't have the energy to read through all the posts).

I wish all of you to live as well as possible with whatever conditions that are yours!

Lithium was awesome for me. Made me feel normal for the first time in my life. Was on 1500mg (750am 750pm). Had to come off it because it messed around with another condition I have (physical one). Makes you crazy thirsty - especially in the heat!

Lithium didn't work for me. It made me very anxious and thirsty. I had to come off it for health reasons after 7 years of being on it. My doctor switched me to lamictal and I havent had much of an issue with it.

It works when it gets to your therapeutic level - whatever that is for you. There’s a therapeutic range but everyone is different. My therapeutic level was 1 which is on the high side but some people work at sub therapeutic levels and it can take days to a week or so I think of regular dosing to get to a steady level. It doesn’t take too long from memory to notice changes.

I just did a quick google and found this “The therapeutic range for prophylaxis is between 0.6–0.8 mmol/L and in acute treatment is 0.8–1.2 mmol/L.”

But I have heard of people responding well at 0.3 so it wouldn’t take long to reach that level.

I hope it works well for you and quickly!

My tummy has been hurting for days. Anxiety!?? Idk. I keep feeling like crap this week.

I saw the prettiest haircut and color last night. The model’s hair was black but for the front strands which were a beautiful shade of violet and curled around her face. It brought out her green eyes which I have. I was drawn to it. It’s the farthest thing from my image though. Back when I was a practicing CPA/MBA, my husband at the time surprised me with a brand new red Camaro. I drove it for a few days and thoroughly enjoyed it but it didn’t “fit” my image. We returned the car. I’d love to let go and get that hair style. Could be I care too much about sticking out in a crowd or about what people might think. Life is short though. Why not? It may give me a new lease on life.

I’m having a fairly good day. I slept in until 9 and skipped the pool because I have much housework to do. I figured I’d do a marathon cleaning session today and then I’d enjoy the pool daily starting tomorrow until it closes.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Finally made it to my dollar store interview. What a crap job! Retail is known for being a crap job anyway, but this one takes the cake. Part time with anywhere from 5-20 hours.. Management having to beg, steal or borrow to get basic staffing. No benefits of any kind. Don't care about the 401k, but definitely care about health insurance! The only plus at this point is that it's in my hometown and about a 20 minute walk from my home. I find out next week on that one.

The phone sales onboarding people are really starting to piss me off! They still want me to do their paperwork for them, but now they want to paint me as a drug user if I can't physically get to the building two towns over that they designated for drug tests. I've done this crap before. It's peeing in a cup or possibly a blood draw. Something any clinic can do. There are three clinics in my hometown plus the local health department. I mean, any reason I couldn't get one of those done?

For the added kick in the head, I've been waiting a week for money to come my way. Gas money, in part. So, until that comes through, I'm stuck in town. I'll nap (or just generally relax) for an hour and I'll see about any (hopefully good) updates.

This emoji might just be the story of my life.

Sadly, she picked the wrong place to go. It's a very excessive sentence, but ya gotta be smart about where you're going. Being good natured is not enough in that case.

If I was the one caught, Secretary Blinken wouldn't be blinking much in my direction, or at least not be holding a press conference about me. But then again, who the heck am I?

I say do it! Fantasy colors are actually not uncommon these days. When I was a teenager I was able to be a “rebel” with my wild colored hair but now people don’t even give it another look. I’ve seen older women with fully gray hair color it with purple or pink and it looks beautiful! Not that you’re old and gray lol, I just mean it’s not just for teenagers!

I actually have the lower three inches of my hair dyed purple with the rest my natural dark brown. I would have done the front strands but it would have been too much upkeep, you know having to re color the roots.

Let your hair be cut whatever way you like it, but don't forget to keep your feet on the ground! A haircut, a new dress or something else can brighten up your days and be good crutches to lean upon now that you have to find out how to use your time without taking care of your brother. May he rest in peace.

Best wishes for you in this period of your life!

@*Beth*

I hope Lithium will help you; that it is possible to find the right doze that fits the unique person that is you..

Send my best wishes for some quiet days for you and your husband! (As I have become older, the balance between "quiet time" and" togheter time" has become more and more important).

To all not mentioned: I remember you all, but I don't have the energy to write a personal message to everyone. Please forgive me for that!

My very best wishes for each one of you!

I got up 4 hours earlier than usual before my alarm went off or any of the people I asked to call me did. Took a shower. Drove to the hospital for my annual liver doctor appointment. Got there at 7:15 and made it to the clinic by 7:30. My appointment was at 8. They took me back around 7:40. My vitals were good- I used to have issues with high blood pressure. The Dr visit was quick. By 8:25 I was leaving the blood draw place around the corner from the liver doctor's office. N3 called me just as I was driving away from the hospital. Did I want to go out to breakfast? Spent the next 3 hours with him. Book store etc. I had to get my prescriptions today too. We drove to my regular doctor's to get some paperwork that never existed! I wrote my doctor a portal message asking about Saxenda. She'd prescribed it nearly a month ago and I wanted to know what the status is. Apparently there was some movement in that area today. Then a bit later I got a message from the liver doctor that said all my liver tests were normal! She said I didn't need to take the vitamin E she suggested, but I'd already bought it. Wonder if I can take it back. I got it at my little pharmacy - it's a tiny pharmacy. Then I drove to my mom's to water her plants.
I got home around 3:15. I was gone for 8 hours today! Anyway, now it's quarter to 9 and I'm still up. Time to take my night meds.

Well, the phone job (Plan A) is on life support. I waited until thirty minutes before the deadline to call it a defeat. I called in ready to withdraw my consideration, but to her credit, my supervisor said (essentially) "Don't be too hasty." She was willing to give me extra time to get my information in, but the final decision was up to corporate who I have to call in the morning. So, life support.

My money still hasn't made it through the financial pipeline, so that's a problem. Besides the water issue, my internet bill is coming due, which may not seem like a pressing matter, but if I want to get anything done in the job hunting, email, and/or document scanning realms without going elsewhere or typing out cover letters on my phone, it's a good resource to have.

Speaking of phones, my phone service ends tomorrow, which will definitely make applying for employment just that much harder.

Finally, food. Specifically milk, juice, bread, rice, soup, fresh fruit and veg and generally anything that's not cuts of meat. I need some carbs in my diet!

I can solve many of the problems if I just had the means and the people with the means to help either just tell me "That sucks." and walk away or, if you're my father, feel like they've fulfilled their obligation to help by funding the (at the moment) irrelevant "What if?" Car insurance trumps job search apparently.

It's enough to make you believe in vengeful gods punishing wayward souls for some unknown transgressions.

It's like I'm this poor guy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi Beth can you take generic benadryl? It helps a lot of folks get to sleep. 1-2, 25-50mg pills. Just a suggestion. sorry sleep is so hard. I take klonipin to sleep and it usually holds me a good 8 hours. I really cut back my fluid intake this evening, stopped at 7pm to try to limit the number of times that I wake up to go to the bathroom. sorry you ache all over. do you know why? bizi

Thank you @bizi -

Interestingly, I have tried ZzzQuil (sometimes helps), Unisom (useless), Tylenol PM (pretty good), Tylenol Simply Sleep (useless), and I'm sure there are others - but I've never tried plain Benadryl. For whatever reason not all diphenhydramines are the same. Benadryl could be helpful.

Ache all over, I don't know why. Whenever I don't get enough solid sleep my body aches. Nothing new, though; it's happened since I was a child. I suspect it's some kind of immune response.

I'm so glad the Kpin helps you with sleep. What a blessing. I could take ten of them (seriously) and be perfectly awake. It's ridiculous.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu An another rocky night. I’m not sure I can make it without sleep meds.

I am so sorry, Nammu.

Rainbow, yes, sleepwalking is in itself a form of dissociation (I'm sorry, I may have already said that). A number of things can cause sleepwalking - extreme stress, trauma, medication, some neurological conditions, and who knows what else. It wouldn't surprise me at all if people with severe MI have more of a tendency toward sleepwalking than "neuronormals" do.

Whenever I've sleepwalked I was undergoing an extremely stressful/emotional event of some kind, in my waking life. But who knows, as usual, whether pure stress caused it or whether the combination of BD and stress caused it.